RE: Omega Labyrinth Life

Now, I’m not going to say that Omega Labyrinth Life is the best game of 2019 -- far from it -- but in some ways, it is among one of the most interesting I’ve played this year.  The sort of thing I can’t help but want to put under the microscope, you know?  Which I did.  And, despite its nature…and history…and premise…and everything…I’m actually, genuinely kind of glad I took the plunge.

That said, this plunge cements the fact that I’m bound for the deepest, hottest circle of Hell.  So, yeah, I’ve been given one more reason to not die anytime soon.

Thanks, video game!

Teppen! But Also, Housekeeping (and Indignation)

I can’t think of a lot of games that I’ve fallen for so quickly, but wouldn’t you know it?  Teppen is one of them.  And to think it’d not only be the very first mobile game I’ve talked about on this blog, but the very first mobile game I’ve ever owned.  Well, besides some Tetris/Pac-Man hybrid built into this one phone I had a geologic age ago.

So let’s talk about Teppen.  Briefly.  Because God forbid, I get to talk about something I actually like and/or can be positive about.

Re: RE: Pokémon Sword and Shield

Hoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo boy.

All right, look.  I know I implied last time that I would use this slot to gripe about Gundam Build Divers Re:Rise, but then I played through some more Pokémon Sword.  How much more?  Enough to clear the main story, and get within inches of clearing the “postgame” …and probably would have if the game hadn’t experienced a fatal error and crashed to the home screen, prompting a rage quit/decision to wash dishes/continue watching Parks and Recreation.  Speaking of, I’m super into Parks and Rec now.  I regret not watching it when it was on-air, but blame my TV and its utter inability to properly tune to NBC.  Certainly not me.

I’m at risk of losing the plot.  So let’s talk about Pokémon Sword.

RE: Pokémon Sword and Shield

So I’m six gyms deep into Pokémon Sword, and creeping up on the seventh.  I probably shouldn’t be, but here I am.  To think there was a time when I said I was planning to sit the game out.

The reasoning was sound.  The eighth-generation game -- both for the franchise, and in terms of consoles -- has been mired in controversies for months.  “The graphics are awful.”  “They’re cutting out Pokémon.” “Features are getting dropped.” “They’re not even trying.” “Game Freak lied.” And so on, and so forth.  All things considered?  I didn’t need another franchise installment in my life.  I fell off at the endgame of Moon, and was willing to sit it out until Gen 9’s inevitable drop.  Maybe then, Game Freak would straighten things out.  Earn fans’ trust with a title that knocked it into space.  I bought into the fans’ outcry (despite previous indifference to it) and decided, yeah, supporting the game meant supporting a slide into mediocrity.  So, I didn’t.

Then my brother bought the game regardless.  I suspect he would have even if he knew about the controversies -- which meant I’d have to give the game an honest shot.

Pfft.  Who needs integrity, anyway?

RE: Death Stranding

Death Stranding is the kind of game that’ll make you question what a game can, if not should, be.  

The problem is that, if you’re anything like me, then you’ll be asking that question for all the wrong reasons.

The Smash Ultimate Salt Mines (feat. Terry)

Oh, look at what I found.  It’s a ticket for a trip to the salt mines once again.  No, it’s no problem at all, Sakurai and crew. Let me just get my helmet and gloves -- oh, and a decent pair of pants, too -- and I’ll just crawl right in.  I’m not worried about my lungs at all. Not like there’s coal or anything for me to breathe in.  And what do I even need my lungs for, huh?

*sigh*

The update that brought Terry Bogard into Super Smash Bros. Ultimate is the same one that buffed Jigglypuff, my least favorite character to fight in the entire game.  Great.  I was looking for a reason to throw my Switch in the trash.

On the other hand, Buster Wolf.  So it evens out.  Barely.

Re: RE: Indivisible

I think I’ve found the perfect way to describe my feelings on Indivisible as of…huh.  Right around Halloween time.  Fancy that.

It’s like this.  You know those trust exercises they have you do with someone else?  The one where you fall backward, and count on your partner to catch you or whatever?  If Indivisible were that partner, then you’d fall flat on your back -- but instead of hitting concrete or dirt or tile or carpet or whatever, you’d just take a little spill onto a cushy mattress.  Yeah, you were let down by someone you trusted, but it’s fine.  You’re still in a good enough place regardless.

I can’t bring myself to hate Indivisible, or even dislike it.  I’m glad it exists.  I’m glad it got crowdfunded successfully.  I’m glad it’s pushing against the grey goo apocalypse that is the modern AAA game industry.  The problem is that, simply put, it has problems.  I’m not one for game development, but I’m not confident that the issues are solvable with patches and updates down the line; it seems like the sort of stuff that’d take a complete overhaul, if not a sequel to start fresh.

I talked about the story last time.  Now for the gameplay this time.  And let me say this to start: it was a mistake to play Tekken 7 in the same timeframe as this.

RE: Indivisible

So, Indivisible, huh? 

Hmmmm.  Hmmmm.  Hmmmm.

I’ll be real: I don’t really know how I feel about this game right now.  I’d say that I need to put more time into it (and I do), but I get the feeling that it’ll only help so much -- and maybe even hurt in the long run.  Having gone all in with an impulse buy on release day, I owe it to the game, myself, and my wallet to go as far as I can with it.  That said, I also owe it to all of those (and the devs on top of that) to give an honest report on my findings.  If someone asks me “Is Indivisible any good?” then I want to give them a straight answer.

That’s…pretty hard right now.  This is a weird game -- a weird game that’s fun, frustrating, charming, plain, deep, and shallow at the same time. But we’ve got to start somewhere, and it might as well be with an anime intro.

How it Feels to Play Tekken 7 (Again)

I know I should be using this space to talk about Indivisible some more, especially since I more or less implied that that was next on the docket.  But I’m shoving the docket aside for now, and not just because it means I can live up to the blog’s title by talking about fighting games some more. 

It’s been a long time coming, but I’m finally back at it again with Tekken 7.  How has the experience been?  Refreshing, to put it simply.  Having dealt with the grind of Smash Ultimate for months on end, and having braved the general inanities of Street Fighter V semi-recently, I’ve been long overdue for a change of pace.  We’re still months away from Guilty Gear 2020, after all (though I’m down to party with Granblue Fantasy VS when it drops).  What other options did I have but to get back into Tekken 7?

I mean, besides like half a dozen other fighting games I could play at this very second.  But I’m in a Tekken mood -- and it’s getting some decisive feelings out of me.

BRB Playing Indivisible

I’m not going to spend a bunch of time or write a lot of words about Indivisible right now, partially because I’ve barely had it for 24 hours as of writing and haven’t even played it for a fraction of that time.  Maybe like, six hours at most?  I had a toilet to take care of, after all.  Anyway, as a sub-reason, it’s partially because I feel like I’m not equipped to talk about the game in-depth until I learn exactly why it’s called Indivisible. 

I mean, I could hazard a guess, but I’m pretty sure I’d be well off the mark.  Wouldn’t be the first time, really.

So instead of scrambling to write a “review” or give (abbreviated) early impressions, let’s talk a bit about impulse buys. Because this is mine.

RE: Code Vein

Hey, here’s a quick, early impressions post on Code Vein!  Because nothing says “Happy Halloween” like a “birthday” “present” “gifted” to you by a brother who tossed it your way upon discovering that he forgot to cancel his pre-order of a game he’d long since lost interest in, but frankly it works out because hey it’s a new game and there’s an open slot on the blog docket to fill up, and if nothing else it’ll spare you from the pain of having to confront the awe-inspiring dread of Kingdom Hearts III for another week at least!

Huh.  That was an oddly-specific scenario.

Like, really specific.  The kind of thing that you shouldn't really think about for any longer than you have to.  So just close your heart to it or whatever.

…

…Hey, here’s a quick, early impressions post on Code Vein!

The Street Fighter V “Experience”

Given that this blog is titled “Cross-Up”, you would think that I would have long ago reached a point where I would ask myself “Am I talking too much about fighting games lately?”  Granted, the answer to that would have been “no” precisely because of the title, but whatever.  Beats griping about terrible Final Fantasy games.

Now, griping about fighting games?  That’s something I don’t do very often.  Being salty about losing, sure, but that’s an inherent part of the package -- an unspoken, understood rule for the fighting game community.  Regardless, sometimes you have to gripe about something because you care. You want it to be the very best it can be.  And given my experiences over the past couple of weeks, I’ve got a notion to lay into a game that’s bugging me more than the one featuring my arch nemesis, Jigglypuff.  I mean Pikachu.  I mean Pokémon Trainer.  I mean Greninja.  I mean -- gosh, a lot of the mons in that game are cancerous to me.

All right, enough babble.  Let’s talk about Street Fighter V.

The Smash Ultimate Salt Mines (feat. Banjo & Kazooie)

So I tried playing some Street Fighter V to break in Poison, AKA the only character I could grab with the pittance of Fight Money I had on hand.  Plus it had been the first time I touched it in about five months, so I thought it’d be fun to test out a new fighter and level up my game.

It wasn’t fun.  And that’s all I’m going to say about that for now.

Let’s wash that horrible, horrible taste out of my mouth with the latest Super Smash Bros. Ultimate DLC character -- the oft-gone but not forgotten bear and bird duo, Banjo & Kazooie.  Or…is it Banjo-Kazooie?  Well, whatever.  New character, so let’s get salty.  As if I wasn’t already.

BRB Banjo is in Smash

Jeez Louise, Sakurai and crew are just NOT letting up with these big Smash Bros. Ultimate drops, are they?  Feels like I've only just gotten started with Hero, and no I've got to put him on the back burner for the bear and bird.

You can't really blame me though, can you?

RE: Fire Emblem: Three Houses

Having beaten the Blue Lions’ campaign in Fire Emblem: Three Houses, I can now confirm that I’m 33% qualified to talk about the game with some semblance of ethos.  Well, 33.3333333333% qualified.  Can’t round up to 34% here, but all of those extra threes have got to count for something.

I mean, I was ultimately successful in achieving my end goal: making Dedue (the best character) into my husband.  

[sweetvictory.mp3 intensifies]

Now that that’s out of the way, though, I have questions about this game.  And this franchise.  Important…ish questions.  Questions that will be asked and (potentially) answered here in this very post.  Chief among them: 

What’s next for Fire Emblem?

The Smash Ultimate Salt Mines (feat. Hero)

You know, I was planning on doing another post on Super Smash Bros. Ultimate since Hero from Dragon Quest dropped not too long ago.  What I wasn’t planning on?  The fact that the guy’s still relevant days and weeks after his release -- for all the wrong reasons.

Is Hero overpowered?  Does Hero need to be banned?  The answers are…not going to be on this blog, because it’s a coin flip on whether I’ll either have a 7-match win streak, or lose 2 million GSP in a single day.  But I’ve been grinding it out in Ultimate, so I might as well gab a bit.  Come along for the ride.

Let’s discuss Bloodstained: Ritual of the Night (Part 2).

Must…resist…urge to post about Fire Emblem: Three Houses…

Must…resist…urge to post about Hero in Smash Ultimate…

Must…write…post…on the story of Bloodstained: Ritual of the Night…

RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH!  But Dedue, though!  He’s the best, man!  He’s just the best!

GAAAAAAAAAAAAH.  Okay.  Okay, I’m good.  Let’s do this for real.

What is a SPOILER? A miserable little pile of SPOILERS!

But enough talk!  Have at SPOILERS!

BRB Hero is in Smash

And here come Sakurai and Smash Bros. Ultimate, thwartin’ my plans like the madlads they are.

Just as well, though.  Granted I was going to use this slot to talk more about Bloodstained, but given how much Smash I’ve been playing recently, I guess I can take a minute to post briefly on the game’s latest fighter.  And who knows?  Maybe I can slip in a few choice words on Fire Emblem: Three Houses.

…Besides “Dedue is best girl”, of course.  As if anyone needs to have such an obvious truth doled out.

Let’s discuss Bloodstained: Ritual of the Night (Part 1).

So I finished Bloodstained: Ritual of the Night a couple of weeks ago, and…

Well…

Hmmmm.

I feel like this is the kind of post that might make me a lot of enemies, so let me choose my words very carefully here.  Also, I’ll go ahead and switch to the Royal Guard style, just in case.

Jackknifed by Politics

*glares*

RE: Samurai Shodown (2019)

I’ve been thinking of the best way to succinctly describe Samurai Shodown (2019) -- a way to summarize it in a way that’s accurate, entertaining, and gives me a 1% higher chance to get more pageviews.  It hasn’t been easy, partly because SNK’s latest is a far cry from a LOT of stuff on store shelves these days.

Pared down to basics?  Sure, you could say it’s Street Fighter at the core.  That is, it takes fundamental concepts and strategies and upholds them over virtually everything else.  Conversely, that means that this game is not on the level of your standard “anime fighter”.  There’s been a jump to 3D graphics, but it’s by no means a 3D fighter like Tekken or Soul Calibur.  I wouldn’t even put it on the same level as Mortal Kombat, goriness aside.  No, this is its own beast.  An anomaly, for sure.

That’s why I’ve come up with a way to succinctly describe the game.  Samurai Shodown is the best game.

…For pissing people off, that is.

The Samurai Shodown Sleepy Time Post

June’s almost over, and for me this month has been uniquely terrible.

Selling Out and Going Indie

The crux of this post is going to depend on whether or not you consider Bloodstained: Ritual of the Night to be an indie game.  I do, basically, since Kickstarter helped it exist (resoundingly), and it’s not as if it’s the product of one of the big companies like EA or Activision.  I mean, it’s here specifically because a well-known company in the industry (Konami) either would have rejected it preemptively, or actively resented its potential existence to the point where the heads -- in their unfathomable wisdom -- let Castlevania mastermind Koji Igarashi escape from their employ.

Mostly, I just want to call it an indie game because it’d give me the chance to lump it together with some of the other games I’ve been playing (not named Smash Bros. Ultimate).  Namely, Katana Zero and VA-11 HALL-A.  Also, it’ll be easier for me to use it as a paddle with which to whoop the backside of the modern, big-budget, AAA game industry.  As if they weren’t whooping themselves already.

Final Fantasy VII Remake feat. Tifa (feat. Technical Difficulties)

It was either a post on the Final Fantasy VII Remake -- or the first part of it, at least -- or another one on Smash Ultimate.  Trust me, it was a dead heat right up to the finish line.

Also, I should probably talk briefly about that time my computer temporarily died.  So let’s get stuck in.

Mortal Kombat 11: A Very Special Post

So I haven’t touched Mortal Kombat 11 in a solid month, and I think I know why.

Well, besides me constantly seeking power and/or revenge in online matches of Smash Ultimate.  One day I’ll get someone into Elite Smash.

Final Fantasy VII: Weapon-Stomping Edition

So I beat Emerald Weapon for the first time in my life (and a good 22 years after other gamers had long since succeeded).  Might as well use this time to talk about Final Fantasy 7 to celebrate.

Not like there’s anything else related to the game going on right now.

Avengers: Endgame: Last Train Home

Okay, Marvel Studios.  You can stop now.

There are going to be as many Avengers: Endgame spoilers as I can think of following the jump, so watch out.  Then again, I assume that if you breathe, you’ve already seen the movie, sooooooooooooo…jump away.

I mean jump toward the post.  That way.  Like, thataway.

Avengers: Endgame! But Also Housekeeping

Well, I guess I might as well break the mold and talk about a niche, relatively obscure indie film that I just managed to see through one very specific venue twenty miles out from my locale.  It may never be a financial powerhouse -- or break even, for that matter -- but hey.  Sometimes you’ve just got to support creative vision and raw artistry.

…Now I feel bad for doing the complete opposite.

Avengers: Endgame!  The last Avengers for a while, I think!  I’ll talk about it!  Eventually!  And briefly!  But first, business.

Let’s discuss Devil May Cry V (FINALE).

Before I begin, I’d like to take a moment to admit that -- as of this writing -- I have “Devil Trigger”, “Subhuman (Game Edit)”, and “Crimson Cloud” downloaded and embedded in my phone. With a little “Unwavering Bravery” for good measure.

Now let me give Devil May Cry V the sendoff it deserves.

I will suffer

I will burn

Let hate prevail

Enslave my soul

But I’ll never surrender

Wait…damn it, wrong song!  Well, whatever.  Spoilers.

Super Technical Difficulty Bros. Ultimate

So in my world, there’s no better reason to declare a state of emergency than having your PC suddenly and abruptly die on you.

Which to be fair, I only just learned about.  Talk about an unforgettable life experience.

The Smash Ultimate Salt Mine Report (feat. Rosalina)

So Super Smash Bros. Ultimate has been out for months now, and I still haven’t unlocked Elite Smash yet.

On one hand, I’m okay with that because I have enough trouble with the rank-and-file of regular quick play matches.  Best to struggle with those that are (usually) my speed down in the salt mines -- because misery loves company, or something.  On the other hand, this is my pride as a gamer and Smash vet we’re talking about here.  I think I’ve got something like 4 million GSP overall, with my Zelda in the top spot with a similar single-character amount.  Even if I don’t choose to go Elite, I still want the recognition that I could go Elite.

We’ll see if/when I make it there.  And if I do?  It’ll probably be with my current main, Rosalina.

...and Luma.

Let’s discuss Devil May Cry V (feat. DmC).

Well, it’s 2019 and I still hate DmC: Devil May Cry.  

All things considered, I’m okay with that.

When on I dance it’s not over

Weave right through to get closer

Like a silver bullet piercing through

I throw myself into you

…And spoilers.  Always into spoilers.

Also, I’m doing DmC again…again.  Yay.

The Smash Ultimate Salt Mine Report (feat. Joker)

Expectation: Take advantage of time zone shenanigans to play as Joker in Super Smash Bros. Ultimate on April 16^th, 2019

Reality: Play as Joker in Super Smash Bros. Ultimate after several failed hours of attempting to brave the total wipeout of the Nintendo eShop, coalescing into me giving up, going to sleep, getting woken up at 4:33 AM, downloading the 3.0.0 update, goofing around and getting the Persona 5 Spirits, and then going back to sleep on April 18^th, 2019

Moral of the story: try to resist the urge to misappropriate the famous “hell is other people” quote when referring to any gamer who isn’t you, and simply enjoy the fact that there’s a new character in Smash.

The keyword here is “try”.  But I’ll get to that.

BRB Joker is in Smash

I love how the timing for this is both amazing and awful.

Does Square-Enix Hate Women? -- ACT II

I don’t know what’s worse -- the fact that this is the second time I’ve thought to write this post, or the fact that (thanks to Final Fantasy 7, of all things) I feel like I understand the Squeenix collective’s method to their madness.  

Send help regardless.

All right, in order to write this post, I’m going to have to be pretty freakin’ cavalier with spoilers on multiple Final Fantasy games, and several Kingdom Hearts games as well -- including KHIII.  Then again, all of those games but one are at least a few years old by now, sooooooooooooooooooooo…you’ll live.  Probably.  

Let’s discuss Devil May Cry V (Part 3).

Vergil: Why do you refuse to gain power?  The power of our father, Sparda?

Dante: Father?  *laughs*  I don’t have a father.  I just don’t like you, that’s all.

Dante’s lines in that exchange have bothered me for more than a decade.  I’ve gone over them in my head, over and over again.  Like, okay, I see what the script was going for; Dante (to his detriment) was willing to act like his heritage didn’t matter, and made it up that cursed tower solely to beat his brother.  But the way it plays out, those two sentences together have no relation to one another, and it’s jarring enough to make my brain ache.  There have to be smoother ways to show Dante’s disdain for his bloodline -- maybe something like “Who cares about him?  I’m here to party with you.”  Anything.

Given the context of the franchise, Devil May Cry has always courted weirdness and camp.  In 3, our hero’s quest for fratricide is in the same space as pretending he’s Bruce Lee.  In 4, the hero who lost his girlfriend to a pack of self-righteous zealots can play air guitar after pile-driving demons.  And in V?  The story briefly hits the pause button to turn a devil hunter into the King of Pop.

I don’t know how many people are willing to call the story of Devil May Cry V good.  But, against all odds, at least I’m one of them.

Insert Capcom jingle here.

Also, SPOILER warning.

Big Girls Don’t Cry (Maybe, LOL)

I’m going to take a shot in the dark and assume that that is certainly not the case.  I pretty much have to, since I’m working under the assumption that even the biggest of big girls is still a human being and thus capable of a vast emotional range, as well as reasonably impacted by stimuli of all kinds throughout her life.  But I am an optimist, so who knows?  It’d probably help if I’d actually seen the movie Big Girls Don’t Cry and didn’t just want to use it as a cheeky, pun-based lead-in to the topic du jour.

So enough dawdling.  Let me say this to start: why aren’t there more giant protagonists in fiction?

Also, let me say this to…uh, continue: apparently I referenced the movie even though there are at least three different songs with the same title.  

Why was I born a cultural dunce?

So I’ve been playing Final Fantasy 7, and…

This is a weird feeling.  

Usually when I bring up Final Fantasy on this blog, it’s to let my scorn and rage flow forth unimpeded.  In the wake of the Switch port of Final Fantasy 7, that’s not the case.  So let me be as upfront as I can right off the bat: yes, this is a good game.  Yes, it still holds up.  And speaking personally, I may like it (or at least respect it) a bit more than when I last played it.

By extension?  I’m glad I’m not on the Squeenix payroll, as a code-spewing grunt, a suited overlord, or anything in between.  If I was, I would be completely, utterly, irrevocably, justifiably, eternally embarrassed.

RE: One Piece: World Seeker

One day I need to have a talk with my brother about his penchant for impulse buys.  

Like, I’m not about to tell him how to spend his money, but him grabbing One Piece: World Seeker -- and preordering it months in advance, at that -- has to qualify as a potential red flag.  Did he know that the game would be good?  No.  Did he have room in his schedule for it, given that its release date was sandwiched between Devil May Cry V and Sekiro?  No.  Is he even a fan of One Piece?  At best, he tangentially orbits it; he’s seen a whopping four episodes, played snippets of one game, and likes the “manimals” of the Enies Lobby Arc.

Oh, and he’s a fan of Tony Tony Chopper…even though he got the name confused and called him Tony Chopper Chopper.

I don’t know what possessed him to get the game, and I never will.  But what’s truly bizarre is that, in a way, I’m actually glad he did.  One Piece: World Seeker is easily the weirdest game I’ve played in a while.  So let’s talk about it.

Because it gives me an excuse to embed One Piece theme songs.

Let’s discuss Devil May Cry V (feat. Kingdom Hearts III)

Never thought I’d see the day.

It kind of makes sense, though.  If you blur your eyes a little, then coat them with Vaseline, put on a blindfold made of thumb tacks, and dip your head in a vat of jalapeno pepper juice, then you could maybe mistake Devil May Cry V for Kingdom Hearts III.  Or, if that’s a bridge too far, then just remember that these two, long-awaited, high-profile releases came out in a relatively narrow window of time.  And on top of that?  Pared down to the ABSOLUTE basics, they have the same genre of gameplay.  

True, DMCV isn’t an action RPG.  KHIII isn’t a character action game.  But on the lowest fundamental level, there’s some overlap.  The former does have its share of character customization and leveling up, after all.  The latter does pit you against hordes of dark forces with a slew of crazy abilities at your disposal.  But before you come at me, let me elaborate: the devil’s in the details.  Even though both games have different objectives and roadmaps to follow, the craft behind one puts it roughly 1.3 billion steps ahead the craft (and existence) of the other.

So pardon me, KHIII fans, but I’m going to have to use Squeenix’s latest as a whipping boy to prove my point conclusively.  And get one step closer to talking about KHIII’s story, because HOOOOOOOOO-LEEEEEEE SHIT.

Savior!  Bloodstained!  Hellfire!  Shadow!

SPOILERS on a landslide!

Savior!  Bloodstained!  Hellfire!  Shadow!

SPOILERS on a landslide!  (For real, though.)