January 25, 2018

Xenoblade Chronicles 2: A Very Special Post (Part 2)


I don’t normally do this, but in this case I have to come out swinging at the outset: Nia is the “best girl” in Xenoblade Chronicles 2.  No contest.

No.  Listen.  Shut up.  Listen.  It’s not even a contest.  I don’t care what the other characters are like.  I don’t care that there are Blades with less clothes or bigger chests.  None of that shit matters.  Nia is the best girl.  And I guess it’s up to me to explain why.

And I guess that’ll maybe -- just maybe -- help explain why Xenoblade Chronicles 2 let me down in the biggest way possible.  In a way I never even imagined was possible.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIyah.  SPOILERS INCOMING.

January 18, 2018

Xenoblade Chronicles 2: A Very Special Post (Part 1)

Hey, Xenoblade Chronicles 2.  I have a question for you.  You know that old taunt “Well, if you love it so much, why don’t you marry it?”  Why aren’t you adapting and using that in your game?

Actually…why don’t any games really adapt and use it in their games?  

I don’t know.  That’s probably a question worth pondering from here on out, but it’d expand the scale of this little argument to something the size of a dissertation, so let’s focus on this game for now.  Otherwise, we'll be here for a million billion years -- and since I'm technically still on hiatus, I shouldn't even be bothering with this.  Yet here I am regardless.

Why?  I dunno.  Everyone needs an outlet for their rage.  I guess this is mine.

THINK YOU CAN TAKE ME?  
(And my spoilers.)
DON’T FORGET ME!  
(And these spoilers.)

January 11, 2018

The 6th Anniversary Post: Do Stories Matter Anymore?


So is this just gonna be a thing now?  Me wanting to write about Kamen Rider, but getting waylaid by cultural juggernauts and entertainment industry shifts of infinitely greater weight?  Probably, but that doesn’t mean I can’t be salty about it.  How can I get people to like the things I like if I can’t shill the things I like?

…I mean, granted, the next post on Ex-Aid would inevitably have me tearing it several new ones.  But it was gonna be so much fun.  Alas, now I have to do this first.  Just as well, though; it’s the blog’s sixth anniversary, so I should write something special instead of the same old, same old.

Blame the Porgs.

January 4, 2018

Let’s discuss Kamen Rider Ex-Aid (Part 1).


Okay, I know this is a post about Kamen Rider Ex-Aid, but I’m seriously just biding my time until I can start watching Kamen Rider Build.

Setting aside the main Rider’s design (which, as a reminder, is infinitely superior to Ex-Aid’s), I had a hunch that it would turn out to be pretty interesting.  I mean, come on.  How often do you get a genius scientist as a lead hero?  That’s worth some brownie points right there.  At most I’ve only seen a handful of clips and previews, but apparently the story’s about to take a turn into some bold new territory I can’t wait to get the context behind.  Also, they’re bringing back a Kamen Rider alum for a new role, and that’s got me pretty hyped.  “Oh!  It’s that guy!” I cheered.  “Wait, who’s that guy again?  Let me check…OH!  IT’S THAT GUY!”

I guess if KR has taught me anything, it’s that I should trust my instincts a bit more.  It’s optimal to act on solid evidence and knowledge, but there are times when it’s fine to listen to your gut.  I say as much, because prior to Ex-Aid’s release I had a hunch that it was going to be good.  Lo and behold, I was right.  More importantly, I was right in the best way possible.  Ex-Aid had the perfect setup for the most impactful, in-depth exploration of its themes in a KR installment yet, so they just needed to pounce on the chance.  They did exactly that.

…Well, mostly.  But “mostly” is better than “not at all”.  So let’s get to it.

LET’S GAME!  MECTHA GAME!  MUTCHA GAME!  WHAT’S YOUR NAME?!
I’M A MAJOR SPOILER(S)!