He’s known for a few Let’s Plays, his God Hand LP well among them. I haven’t seen his work before, but I’ve known about him for a while…and by coincidence, ended up finding out he and his posse did a blind LP of Final Fantasy 13-2. And what started out as a simple playthrough ended up becoming a 100% completion run. And they did it. It took them a whopping eighty-three hours, but they did it. Indeed, in the final video each member of the posse talks in turn about how terrible the game is and why it’s terrible. That might have just been a consequence of plunging head-first into the abyss of insanity, though (which you can see just by looking at the video titles and the descriptions). Frankly, I’m surprised none of them are laid up in rubber rooms.
So you’re probably wondering why I’m bringing up 13-2 after I slammed the book shut on the game; making this post seems largely unnecessary, and even harmful. It goes beyond just beating a dead horse; it’s more like digging up a dead horse’s corpse, performing black magic to turn it into an equine undead, slashing it to pieces with Frank West’s paddle-saws, kicking the pieces back into its grave King Leonidas style, and then doing the same thing after a five-minute recess and a swig of root beer. I acknowledge that. But I said I was going to finish the game, and there’s been a part of me that regrets not being able to. It felt like I was leaving so much on the table.
So it’s time for me to fix that. Will Final Fantasy 13-2 find redemption at long last? Will there be a glimmer of hope in its final hours?
No. No, it won’t. It just gets worse.
Spoilers inbound. But whatever. If you’re playing this game for the story, I would recommend a reconsideration of your tastes and standards.