The flag of war flies again! It's time to dig into Final Fantasy Type-0!

May 28, 2015

Final Fantasy Type-0: Kill ‘Em All, Kupo! (FINALE)

“When nine and nine meet nine, the depths of reason shall stir. When the seal of creation is broken, a voice like thunder shall sound, and thou shalt know -- we have arrived.”
--Ace in the Final Fantasy Type-0 opening.


So you know what I just realized?  I have no idea what that means.

May 21, 2015

May 18, 2015

Do We Need Assassin’s Creed Anymore?

Hey guys!  Did you see the trailer and stuff for Assassin’s Creed: Syndicate?  It’s a brand new start for the franchise, and the game that will do next-gen consoles justizzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…

Yeah.  Like I could keep that one up for long.

May 14, 2015

Final Fantasy Type-0: Kill 'Em All, Kupo! (Part 7)

“Hey, what was that red stuff at the start of the game?”

That was what I asked myself several times throughout the game, most notably in the second-to-last chapter.  See, in the first mission there’s a red mist and lights and tentacles that appear out of nowhere that -- well, they don’t really attack you per se.  They just kind of hang there menacingly, and none of your attacks work on them.  They’re gone before long, though, both in the mission and the story at large.  Seriously, I don’t think anyone comments on what they saw.  Ever.  It’s pretty much stricken from the game -- a game which, I should say upfront, I’ve finished as of this post (as compared to the earlier ones).

Since the game pretty much decided to ignore it, I did too.  I focused on the main plot, i.e. the war between the on-the-ropes Rubrum and the invading Militesi Empire.  As such, the main villain of the game (if you could call him that) is Imperial Marshal Cid Aulstyne, the guy behind the Empires forces…if we assume that said empire has no distinction between military leaders and political leaders, but whatever.  It’s safe to say that he’s the one players will have to face off at some point -- because with this being a Final Fantasy game, and following in the footsteps of vanilla FF13, anyone who is old and has wrinkles is evil and must die.

Sounds simple enough, right?  Oh, if only…

May 11, 2015

Let's discuss Mortal Kombat X (Part 2).

Credit where credit’s due -- MKX deserves some props for being the first game to have an item-unlocking shop where a virtual wolf can attack you.

The Krypt could have been a simple menu, but apparently the guys at NetherRealm went the extra mile and created a faux-dungeon crawler for you to move around in.  It’s not what I’d call amazing, and it’s probably an annoyance to anyone who just wants a menu to buy costumes/concept art/Fatalities, but it has its purpose.  Seeing as how you have to get in-game currency to unlock stuff, it incentivizes players to get in deep with the other game modes -- which is good, because it makes them practice without necessarily “wasting time” in training mode.

There are multiple “towers” for players to tackle at their leisure, each with their own unique conditions (the Test Your Might tower being the place to button-mash your way to glory).  Okay, sure, playing against CPUs isn’t exactly the best way to train, but it’s something; it lets the player get used to the game before they take the fight online or against friends.  Or, alternatively, it gets them ready for MKX’s Faction War, wherein you choose a clan at the start and complete challenges (online or off) to boost your Faction’s rank and gain rewards.  As far as I know, that’s a bust -- because surprise, surprise, everyone wanted to be part of the ninja team and there’s no point in even trying to fight back.

So forget it.  Let’s move on to the story. 

Spoilers are about to GET OVER HERE, so watch out.  Also, I thought about replacing all the Cs in this post with Ks, but that would’ve been stupid and annoying, so screw it.

May 7, 2015

Final Fantasy Type-0: Kill ‘Em All, Kupo! (Part 6)

It’s funny how a game can wear down all your optimism and goodwill, isn’t it?  But, here we are.

…Yeah, this game sucks.

May 4, 2015

Let’s discuss Mortal Kombat X (Part 1).

I’d just like to take a moment to mention that in my first match of Mortal Kombat X, I managed to pull off a Fatality just by mashing a couple of directions and hitting a button.  It was complete luck, but somehow I found Jax ripping open Reptile’s head and stuffing a cigar into it like an ashtray.  Almost immediately, my brother accused me of looking it up on the internet beforehand -- the greatest of sins to be committed when trying out a fighting game raw.  (Though it’s worth noting he spent a fair amount of time with vanilla Marvel 3 before our inaugural match.)

I think at that stage, he drastically overestimated how much I cared about winning.  As I’ve said, I’ve never cared about Mortal Kombat, and anyone who assumes that I hate it is justified in doing so.  I’m not saying that anyone who does like it is wrong; it’s just that it isn’t for me.  I’ve got an armada’s worth of biases, and unfortunately they’ve kept MK from even setting sail on the metaphorical ocean. 

But hope springs eternal.  Maybe this, NetherRealm’s latest attempt to bring in new fans and old loyalists, and offer up the TRUE next-gen fighting game, is the chosen one.  Does it have what it takes?  If nothing else, can it win me over at last?

Well, let me say this to start: I think I get Mortal Kombat now.

April 30, 2015

Final Fantasy Type-0: Kill ‘Em All, Kupo! (Part 5)

I’ve mentioned this before, but I’ll go ahead and say it again for posterity’s sake: I used to have a PSP, but it decided to up and die on me.  The likely reason is that its internal parts melted from overheating -- which is plenty feasible, considering how hot that sucker got when I used it.  Incidentally, the last game I played on it -- and really, the only game I bothered playing on it besides a packed-in ATV racer -- was Dissidia: Final Fantasy.  So I can’t say I shed any tears over the loss.  I did have a DS to fall back on, after all.

I also can’t say that I look fondly on Dissidia.  The idea behind it was certainly a good one, and some of the moves in it hit harder than a runaway freight train, but the gameplay system -- the Brave and HP gauges -- added a level of complexity that didn’t need to be there, and it was way too easy for things to turn into a button-mashy mess.  I don’t think I need to tell you that the story didn’t hold up (unless you’re the sort who enjoys playing through the same character arc about nine times in a row), but that would have been okay if the gameplay left a strong impression years after its release.  It didn’t.  I played it plenty, sure, but probably just because of the novelty of the thing instead of the merit.

And that brings us to Type-0 -- a game that, once again, has a bad story.  But this time, it’s starting to look like the gameplay really can’t make up for it.  The novelty sure as hell can’t.

April 27, 2015

So How Good is Star Trek, Really?

Does it make me more of a nerd to admit that I think Star Trek is really cool?  Or does it make me less of a nerd because I’m only just now admitting that in writing?

I guess I should start by saying that in this case, I’m talking specifically about Star Trek: The Next Generation, because I happened to catch a few episodes of those recently.  But I’m not opposed to any of the others.  Quite the opposite; when I was a little baby Voltech I used to drift off to sleep thanks to the lulling tones of reruns for TNG, Deep Space Nine, and Voyager.  (Not Enterprise, though -- I don’t remember there being any reruns, at least none that threw themselves at me.)  Most of the show’s dialogue was lost on me, naturally, but these days?  If and when I catch reruns of TNG, I find myself pulling a Shulk and going “I’m really feeling it!”

In all honesty, though, I’m still a greenhorn when it comes to the franchise.  So what do you say we unpack this for a bit?  I’m sure it won’t be that hard, seeing as how it’s already off to a strong start.  As if you needed a reminder that SPACE IS AWESOME.