Let's discuss Avengers: Infinity War -- a movie BOUND to make you feel so good!


July 16, 2018

Do it for Her, or Whatever -- ACT II


Hey, how’s it going?  Let’s talk about female characters again -- up to and including female character designs.

Let’s get to it.  Right after I whack this beehive with a hockey stick, slap a bear across the face, give that police officer over there a wedgie, and then bathe in gasoline so I can justify carrying this lit match around.

Things might get a little dicey, is what I’m trying to say here.  Leave your sensibilities at the door.

July 12, 2018

Kingdom Hearts III NEEDS A Goofy Movie World (Part 3)


Would it be too untoward of me to use the meme of the month…okay, last month…ish…to summarize the mission of this series of posts as well as artificially generate hype through an easily-repeatable phrase?  Yes, inevitably.  On the other hand, it’s still pretty funny.  So let’s go once more.

Kingdom Hearts III.

A Goofy Movie.

CAN’T ESCAPE FROM CROSSING FATE

July 5, 2018

Kingdom Hearts III NEEDS A Goofy Movie World (Part 2)


Akihiko, you wanna take this one?


Ah, yes.  That’ll do.

It's been a while since the first post on the subject, so let’s not delay any longer.  I don’t expect there to be a world based on A Goofy Movie in Kingdom Hearts III, even if it gave Squeenix the “justification” to pack in some extra DLC.  So barring some miracle shot out of a cannon from Mount Olympus, getting that world is nothing but a fever dream.  But since we’re dealing with hypotheticals, the question remains: how do you do it?  How do you squeeze that world in?

Luckily, I have an answer.  Here’s how I would handle it if someone was brave enough…crazy enough…?  Well, something enough to toss me the keys.  Let’s get in there.

July 2, 2018

RE: Mario Tennis Aces


So Mario Tennis Aces has forced me to endure one of the greatest existential crises I’ve had in a while: it made me realize I’m really bad at tennis.

June 28, 2018

How to Save Dead or Alive 6 (Maybe, LOL)

I don’t think there was ever any doubt that we would get Dead or Alive 6; the question was when.  Things looked grim for a while, considering that Koei Tecmo/Team Ninja dropped future support/updates for Dead or Alive 5, and at the time there were no outspoken plans for a sequel.  Then when the E3 Eternal Engine fired up, right before the deluge of info we got confirmation of the franchise’s upcoming successor -- and a trailer to boot.

Probably the most interesting news to come out of it is a certain effort that the devs are making this time around.  According to interviews with execs, the idea is to tone down the sexuality that the franchise has long since become famous for.  Highlights include toned-down jiggle physics, a new sense of realism to make fights more convincing, and the decision to not force everyone to look great at all times.  This time around, they’re going to make sure that “first and foremost, they are fighters”.

So my first thought here is “Haven’t we done this before?”  The answer is yes.  And it didn’t work out.  My second thought here is “All right, how are they going to fix this?  Preemptively?”

June 21, 2018

NieR: Automata -- An Ending [B]onanza

Hmmm.  Let’s see.  I could either do a post on a really good game, or I can try and stay relevant by writing about current gaming trends.  Hey, what’s going on with E3 2018?  Who had their conference first?

*skims summary of EA conference*

Huh.  Okay.

...

A post on NieR: Automata it is!

Contrary to what the title says, there’s only going to be focus on one NieR ending for now.  With that in mind?  Be wary that this is going to feature SPOILERS for Ending B (and A by extension).  Self-destruct before you get spoiled.  

You know, if you’re into that.

June 14, 2018

Technical (Mechanical?) Difficulties Rule -- ACT 2


Now, I'm not going to say that I'm in the middle of the Suffering Arc of my life, because A) it's not THAT bad, and B) I don't want to jinx myself, buuuuuuuuuuuuut...man, it'd be a pretty apt descriptor, given the past 1.5 weeks.

June 7, 2018

Kingdom Hearts III NEEDS A Goofy Movie World (Part 1)


I just love how this started off as a joke post, then became a hypothetical Top 10 list of worlds that need to show up in Kingdom Hearts III (which would cap off with a joke), and finally morphed into something serious.  So here I am, going all in.  And yes, you read that title right.

Nothing would make Kingdom Hearts III better than having a world based on A Goofy Movie.  This is the hill I’ve chosen to die on -- and now it’s time to explain why.

With audiovisual aids, of course.  How else can I take advantage of the medium?