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February 14, 2019

February 7, 2019

Kingdom Hearts Voltimania: Kingdom Hearts III (Part B)


“I’m not saying [Kingdom Hearts III] is the game of the year.  But it’s inching toward that point.  Slowly.”
--Me, last week

“Okay, yeah, no, this is not the game of the year and never will be.”
--Me, this week

Welp.  Here we are again.  How about another wrestler theme for the books?

January 24, 2019

Kingdom Hearts Voltimania: -A fragmentary passage- (Part 2)


Anybody else getting heart palpitations over the impending, full release of Kingdom Hearts III?  I know I am.

Hard to believe that the day’s almost here -- less than a week, by the time this post goes up.  Anyone who’s excited is justified in the hype.  Anyone who’s disdainful is justified in the skepticism.  I think that, speaking personally, my MO for now is to go in with the mindset that it’s a new day and a new game.  Clean slate.  Breathe deep, play, and enjoy.  Or…try to enjoy.  There are dozens of ways for the game to go wrong, but the only way to know for sure is to face it head-on.  Because if nothing else?  If we’re lucky -- if we’re blessed by the overlords at Squeenix Keep -- this storyline is going to have a definitive end.  The slate’s going to get even cleaner.

We’ll see what the future holds.  But before that, there’s one more thing we -- or I -- have to do.  Let’s talk about Kingdom Hearts 0.2.

…Featuring the only wrestler theme song that can possibly fit the context.  Inasmuch as a wrestler theme song can.

January 17, 2019

Kingdom Hearts Voltimania: -A fragmentary passage- (Part 1)


All right, let’s cut straight to the artery of this thing.  The official title is Kingdom Hearts 0.2 Birth by Sleep: -A fragmentary passage-, but I’m never going to call it that in full because 1) it’s clumsy at best, 2) it has Birth By Sleep in the title, which makes me wretch, and 3) the game’s timeline is all over the place, so “0.2” is only somewhat fitting.  I mean yeah, its 0.2 plus the compilation’s 2.8 equals 3, but it’s not as if KHIII made it on time.  And even with the two PS4 compilations -- The Story so Far notwithstanding -- there’s still nothing pertaining to Unchained/Union X save for Back Cover.  Which is…inadequate, to say the least.

This is a lot of talk about meaningless garbage to start off a post that focuses on 0.2’s gameplay.  So I guess I’ll go ahead and get focused.  And also, decide to alternate between calling it 0.2 and what it really is, AKA Kingdom Hearts III: Ground Zeroes.  And also also, embed another wrestler’s theme.  Because if it’s worth doing twice…

January 10, 2019

Kingdom Hearts Voltimania: Dream Drop Distance (Part 2)


Before I do anything else, I’m going to say some nice things about the story in Kingdom Hearts: Dream Drop Distance.  Because despite everything else in summation rivaling a Class 5 Shitstorm, there are some nice things I can say.  And I can’t let this post get too negative.

Before that, though, let’s have another wrestler theme.  Who have we got today?  Hmmmmmmmmmmm…

January 3, 2019

Kingdom Hearts Voltimania: Dream Drop Distance (Part 1)


Let’s start 2019 off right [citation needed] -- with a big dumb post on Kingdom Hearts: Dream Drop Distance.  Because we’re less than a month away from the fated release of Kingdom Hearts III, and…well, in order to know where we’re going, we have to know where we’ve been.  Fingers crossed that neither route leads to the edge of a steep cliff.

Also, let’s go ahead and pretend the title of this miniseries is a clever play on KH Ultimania, i.e. the Japan-only (naturally) information books/strategy guides tied to the series.  Not so much Hulkamania, for myriad reasons.

That said, I’ll gladly use this chance to embed Hulk Hogan’s classic theme song.

December 27, 2018

The Smash Ultimate Diaries -- ACT III

So I’m trying to decide whether Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse is better than, worse than, or equal to Homecoming, but in the grand scheme of things it doesn’t really matter.  While I have reservations about giving modern-day Sony’s movie division any credit or praise, a good movie is a good movie, and Miles Morales’ big screen debut is more than simply “good”.

It’s worth watching for its presentation alone -- an animated movie that doesn’t feel the need to play with kid gloves by default.  Granted there are times when the movie gets in its own way with possibly too much style -- during my viewing I thought a few times that it’d be better if they toned the AV down by 10-20% -- but it’s a critical hit more often than it misses.  Kingpin is the definition of an “absolute unit” design-wise, and seeing some of this stuff in motion makes me hungry for more.  Not just a sequel, but for other movies to be emboldened to give the style (or something like that) an honest try.  Like, Disney, maybe mimic this instead of another live-action remake?

The funny thing about the movie is that, while Homecoming stepped away from the origin story affect, Spider-Verse revels in it -- to its benefit.  Fair move, considering that we’re following Miles now.  Still, even if you’re wary of another superhero origin story, there’s more than enough meat on this movie’s bones to keep you satiated.  Shout-outs to this movie for making parents that feel like real people; this version of Jefferson isn’t just trying to run for Jesus like Spider-Man PS4’s Jefferson, and --

Wait, I feel like I should be talking about something else right now.  Oh, right.  Smash Bros.  Let’s talk about it one more time…with a focus on World of Light.  Because I beat it, and talking about that is…well, it’s necessary, I think.

December 20, 2018

The Smash Ultimate Diaries -- ACT II

Hey, welcome back to another post on my newfound crack addiction.

I had a friend come over recently, and he asked me what I thought of Smash Bros. Ultimate.  My answer, without hesitation: “It goes without saying, but this is the best Smash yet.”  I didn’t think that was a controversial statement -- can’t imagine a lot of people disagreeing with me, though we’ll see what the verdict is a year out from release -- but naturally, my brother chimed in to say “Ehhhhhhhhhhh, I dunnoooooooooooo…”  Naturally.  Because naturally, he pines for the days of Melee.  Except for that time when we played Melee again, and we all decided (in an unspoken decree) that that was a mistake.

Okay, sure, it’s not as if Melee is the worst or anything.  But the game is old enough to drive now, and holding it in unrivaled esteem does it, the franchise, or us no favors.  Even if you’re the type to uphold it for its gameplay/tournament merits, can we at least meet halfway and agree that Ultimate has the best visuals, presentation, sound design, and content thus far?  Can we?

I bet we can.  And with that out of the way, let’s talk about more Smash Ultimate stuff.

December 13, 2018

The Smash Ultimate Diaries -- ACT I

You know, I had a feeling this would happen.

Don’t misunderstand right off the bat; it’s not as if I’m about to say “Super Smash Bros. Ultimate is a huge disappointment.”  On the contrary.  I think it’s a good game, and here’s why: just as I predicted, there have been multiple instances since release day on December 7th (6th if you’re like me and had the digital version pre-loaded alongside geographical advantages) when I had to make a call.  Play more Smash, or get more sleep?

I’ve chosen Smash over sleep on more than one occasion.  I probably shouldn’t.  I mean, as of writing I feel a cold coming on, and it wasn’t long ago that I went to bed early because I felt like throwing up.  I didn’t, thankfully -- I need to work on rebuilding my streak of going over a decade without puking -- but the worst part about it wasn’t that I felt like my insides sparked a bloody revolution.  It was that I missed out on valuable Smash time.

Right now, all I want to do is play it more.  But in the interest of keeping this blog alive, let’s go ahead and have a random collection of thoughts.  Then more smashing.