RE: Final Fantasy VII Remake

So it’s been about two weeks since I finished Final Fantasy VII Remake.  Guess I’d better commit my thoughts to digital paper, huh?

Here’s the burning question, asked (metaphorically) to someone with a reputation for slamming modern Final Fantasy games: what do I think of it?  Is it good?

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…

Final Fantasy VII: Weapon-Stomping Edition

So I beat Emerald Weapon for the first time in my life (and a good 22 years after other gamers had long since succeeded).  Might as well use this time to talk about Final Fantasy 7 to celebrate.

Not like there’s anything else related to the game going on right now.

Does Square-Enix Hate Women? -- ACT II

I don’t know what’s worse -- the fact that this is the second time I’ve thought to write this post, or the fact that (thanks to Final Fantasy 7, of all things) I feel like I understand the Squeenix collective’s method to their madness.  

Send help regardless.

All right, in order to write this post, I’m going to have to be pretty freakin’ cavalier with spoilers on multiple Final Fantasy games, and several Kingdom Hearts games as well -- including KHIII.  Then again, all of those games but one are at least a few years old by now, sooooooooooooooooooooo…you’ll live.  Probably.  

So I’ve been playing Final Fantasy 7, and…

This is a weird feeling.  

Usually when I bring up Final Fantasy on this blog, it’s to let my scorn and rage flow forth unimpeded.  In the wake of the Switch port of Final Fantasy 7, that’s not the case.  So let me be as upfront as I can right off the bat: yes, this is a good game.  Yes, it still holds up.  And speaking personally, I may like it (or at least respect it) a bit more than when I last played it.

By extension?  I’m glad I’m not on the Squeenix payroll, as a code-spewing grunt, a suited overlord, or anything in between.  If I was, I would be completely, utterly, irrevocably, justifiably, eternally embarrassed.

Go play The MISSING. (Also, writing junk.)

Now, I don’t want to oversell the game, but let me say this about The MISSING: J.J. Macfield and the Island of Memories. Its greatest sin is that it released in the same year and quarter as Super Smash Bros. Ultimate -- because if it chose any other time period, then it would probably, if not easily, be my Game of the Year.

I mean, it’s not perfect.  There are some technical issues (on the Switch, at least), a decent chunk of the puzzles are surprisingly basic (except for one at the end involving a big shoe), the voice acting occasionally reaches a point where main heroine JJ is channeling the spirit of Tommy Wiseau, and…yeah, I can see the general length of the game -- or lack thereof -- being a sticking point for gamers that want bang for their buck.  Then again, my $30 got me about 8 hours of entertainment, so your mileage may vary.  Also this is both a complaint and a compliment: this game really pops off in the final act or so, meaning that the ending is…yikesy mikesy.

I’ll probably talk more about the game another day, but for now?  Buy it, watch an LP, read up on it, consume it however you can.  Now let’s spend the rest of this post talking about big dumb writing projects.

Final Fantasy: All the Bumblers

Hmm.  Let’s see.  I could do another relevant, incisive, and heartfelt post on politics.  Or, alternatively, I could dump all over a franchise that’s way too easy to make fun of, yet draws my eye and ire every time because of a worthless vendetta I have against one of gaming’s most beloved brands.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.  Tough choice.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Oh, wait.  It’s not a tough choice at all.  Gather around, children, for today is a glorious day.  Come, take a seat around the campfire as Grandpappy Voltech blathers on about Final Fantasy.  Again.  Because it’s what you crave, presumably.

RE: Re: Danganronpa V3: Killing Harmony

Okay, so I think I came up with a workaround for uploading Danganronpa images without spoiling myself to high heaven.  I’ve got the PC version of Danganronpa V3: Killing Harmony, so all I have to do is take direct screenshots as events transpire, and I’m at no risk of tapping the forbidden knowledge.  Ergo, now I’m free to use this picture of Tenko’s shit-eating grin without consequence.  Also, I remembered that Soundcloud is a site that exists, and thus I can head there to listen to the game’s OST.  And thanks to that, I don’t have to worry about video thumbnails/titles that try to spoil me on upcoming content.  On that note: YouTube, what the hell?

This is a lot of effort to put into not learning about a game.  Just as well, though.  Because 1) Danganronpa V3 is kind of blowing my mind right now.  And 2) get this game.

Or, you know, watch an LP.  That works, too.  But also, get this game.

The Final Final Fantasy (15) -- An End

Sometimes in order to go forward, you have to go backward.

The Final Final Fantasy (15) -- Part 3

You know, sometimes I lay awake at night and wonder: “Did I ever like Final Fantasy?”

Actually, no I don’t.  That’s a bold lie, but I have to start this post somehow.

The Final Final Fantasy (15) -- Part 2

I’m sure I made this pretty obvious via the last post, but it’s worth saying plainly here right off the bat: no, I haven’t finished Final Fantasy 15.  All things considered, you could argue that I’ve basically dropped it.  I only made it through the first 15 hours, and haven’t looked back since.  And the sad thing is that for the most part, I don’t feel bad about not having it in my life.  It says a lot about the situation when I’d rather put a sum of 177 hours into other JRPGs -- Tales of Berseria and Persona 5 -- than see Squeenix’s latest through to the end.

So with the advent of modern gaming, that puts me in a weird spot.  News has broken that the devs are planning to add in extra content -- DLC, patches, updates, and the like over the months to come.  Presumably, it’s all in service of making the game into a service to continuously suck up money come as close to the creative vision as possible; it’s a way to iron out past mistakes, tackle fan complaints, and add in features that were missing on release day.  Let’s go ahead and sidestep the debate on whether or not that content should’ve been there in the first place for a game in development for a decade.  The question then becomes one of archiving, future-proofing, and integrity.  What happens to someone who wants to see the game as it was originally released?  What if I want to see the game in a state where the devs thought an off-roading Regalia was a pipe dream?

I don’t know.  But I guess it doesn’t matter, because right now I can’t bring myself to care.

The Final Final Fantasy (15) -- Part 1

I think…

I think…

I think…

Yep.  This franchise is dead to me.

Final Fantasy XV (AKA the 5-Year Anniversary Post)

Hello and welcome to Cross-Up, home of various posts on Final Fantasy!  I’ve been at this since 2012, and it’s so nice to know that even one person out there has read and enjoyed my posts on all sorts of subjects, like Final Fantasy!  I know I’m not the most popular guy out there that talks about Final Fantasy, but it’s been an honor to discuss in-depth what I think about games that have Final Fantasy in the title.  I don’t plan on stopping anytime soon because there are more Final Fantasy games on the way, and I hope that I can continue to grow the blog as I talk about Final Fantasy.

After all, it is my Final Fantasy to become more than just a Final Fantasy.  And as a Final Fantasy, this Final Fantasy has helped me realize that it’s a long road to evolve as a Final Fantasy.  So with the help of Final Fantasy, I’ll Final Fantasy my way to the Final Fantasy and treat the world to the Final Fantasy it deserves, because Final Fantasy is a Final Fantasy that Final Fantasy has in every Final Fantasy to Final Fantasy our Final Fantasy.

So Final Fantasy your Final Fantasy, because Final Fantasy is Final Fantasy, and Final Fantasy in Final Fantasy to Final Fantasy a Final Fantasy.  Final Fantasy, Final Fantasy, Final Fantasy, Final Fantasy, Final Fantasy.

…This is a post on Final Fantasy 15, so let’s talk about it.

… Final Fantasy.

Let’s discuss Final Fantasy XV: Platinum Demo.

You didn’t think I was going to let this one slip away, did you?  Please.  Even though I’m not “the Final Fantasy guy”, I’m gonna go ahead and be “the Final Fantasy guy” for a hot minute.  I’ve even got my hat ready.

But before I go into the demo, there’s some Square-Enix stuff and news worth staring in the face.  By extension, there’s a question I need to ask.  It’s a very important question, and one that I’m surprised I never directly asked before now.  So brace yourselves.

On Final Fantasy and Lost Empathy -- ACT II

I don’t want to risk slotting into the hole of “the Final Fantasy guy”, because that’s a hard hole to escape from.  Also, I’m seriously not equipped for it; I haven’t even played half of the main games in the franchise, after all.  Even then, you could still argue that I haven’t played that many -- depending on how you feel about some of the modern installments, i.e. entries in the so-called Lightning Saga and Final Fantasy Type-0.  Still, a franchise as famous as Final Fantasy can bore a squishy nook into any gamer’s brain.  As parasitic worms would.  Probably.

In any case, my backlog reaches into the heavens, and one of those games happens to be Final Fantasy 10.  Granted I’d already finished it at least once before, but I thought I’d have a look at it to see how it held up.  That’s becoming an increasingly-lower priority, since the Best Friends Zaibatsu started an LP of the game; naturally, I’ve been following it as closely as I can.  They’re playing through it so I don’t have to.  And as a result, I’ve come to a shocking conclusion.

I think I like Tidus.  I think I like Tidus now more than I ever did -- and he’s at risk of becoming my favorite Final Fantasy lead.

Honoring the Past (AKA Voltech the Hypocrite)

You know, I’ve never thought of myself as a “crusader”.

I’m pretty easygoing -- if not apathetic -- when it comes to the big subjects.  Politics, religion, stuff like that -- it doesn’t really make me hot under the collar, so it’s not as if I’m going to get into a screaming match with someone with a different opinion from me.  Really, the only thing I try and campaign for is better fiction.  We want more, and we deserve more -- but we need the wits and savvy to understand what makes stories good in the first place.  I’m not asking for much, I hope.

But these days?  It feels like I’m campaigning and crusading against nostalgia-bait products more than anything else.  (Relatively speaking, given my tirades against grim and gritty fare…and before that, nearly everything Squeenix has put out semi-recently.)  People deserve good stories, and no matter the opinion on Joe Plumbers or sheeple or lowest common denominators, I’d like to think that when offered a genuinely good story, they’ll know what they’ve always wanted.  What they -- and we -- don’t need are retreads of the past, again and again and again.  We need something new.  Something different.  Something that at least has the potential to be good.

So why is it that I’ve been having more fun with stuff from the past?

On Final Fantasy and Lost Empathy

Far be it for me to be typecast as “the guy who can’t stop poking holes in Final Fantasy games”, but there’s no way around it this time.  Bear with me here, though, because there are a LOT of posts to follow built around the ideas here.  Consider this foundation more than anything else.

Okay?  Okay.  So let me ask: does anyone here watch The Middle?

Final Fantasy 7: All the Silliest

You know what gamers need?  Some kind of official poll system.

We may all identify under the hobby, but the collective is such a fractured mess that even the most basic classification is rough.  I’m a fan of Destructoid, for example, but there are others who frequent Polygon, others who prefer USGamer, and yes, even those who like IGN.  How do you get them to come together?  To even begin to acknowledge one another’s opinions, gathered in a conclusive format?  A universal poll -- one where all gamers vote on topics and see where their brethren stand on an issue.  It’ll never happen, of course, but it’s nice to think about as a way to offer up some perspective.

I only ask for that poll because I’d like to have proof that gamers aren’t just a massive mob of hypocrites…even if it seems like they kind of are.  “Give us something new and original!” they cry out -- and then Call of Duty and Assassin’s Creed still make mad money. “They’re just trying to win us over with brand names and nostalgia!” they rage -- while games built on brand names and nostalgia get funded in hours, if not minutes, via Kickstarter.  “Enough with the remakes and remasters!” they yell to the heavens.

And then everyone loses their minds over a Final Fantasy 7 remake -- which is a dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, silly, silly, dumb idea.  And also dumb.

Do We Need Final Fantasy Anymore?

You knew this was coming, didn’t you?

Let’s discuss Final Fantasy XV: Episode Duscae.

I know why you’re here.  And I don’t blame you for it.

It’s Final Fantasy.  You can’t turn away from it.  I can’t turn away from it.  Anyone who’s ever jumped on a Goomba can’t turn away for it.  The franchise keeps pulling in gamers across the board, whether they’re diehard fans or furious detractors.  And with FF15 -- formerly Versus 13 -- being an upcoming title for nearly a decade, all eyes are on Squeenix’s latest.

Not to generalize, but I’m guessing you’re here so you can see me deliver some bad news.  I don’t blame anyone for it; The Lightning Saga practically ran the franchise’s name into the ground, and it hasn’t exactly been soaring in the sky since…well, maybe as early as FF8.  Couple that with the slew of disappointments in the eighth-gen console/AAA space recently, and any given gamer has the right to suspect -- if not expect -- another debacle.  This spiffy new demo is going to be all the proof we need to skip the full game.  At least, that’s the fear.  People are just waiting for confirmation.

I know why you’re here.  And guess what?  I’m not here to tell you that the game -- Duscae or otherwise -- is terrible.  So breathe a sigh of relief.

Unfortunately, I’m here to give you some bad news.

RE: Final Fantasy Type-0

WELP.