The Smash Ultimate Salt Mines (feat. Byleth)

Yep.  There’s no getting out of this one.

Re: RE: Pokémon Sword and Shield

Hoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo boy.

All right, look.  I know I implied last time that I would use this slot to gripe about Gundam Build Divers Re:Rise, but then I played through some more Pokémon Sword.  How much more?  Enough to clear the main story, and get within inches of clearing the “postgame” …and probably would have if the game hadn’t experienced a fatal error and crashed to the home screen, prompting a rage quit/decision to wash dishes/continue watching Parks and Recreation.  Speaking of, I’m super into Parks and Rec now.  I regret not watching it when it was on-air, but blame my TV and its utter inability to properly tune to NBC.  Certainly not me.

I’m at risk of losing the plot.  So let’s talk about Pokémon Sword.

RE: Pokémon Sword and Shield

So I’m six gyms deep into Pokémon Sword, and creeping up on the seventh.  I probably shouldn’t be, but here I am.  To think there was a time when I said I was planning to sit the game out.

The reasoning was sound.  The eighth-generation game -- both for the franchise, and in terms of consoles -- has been mired in controversies for months.  “The graphics are awful.”  “They’re cutting out Pokémon.” “Features are getting dropped.” “They’re not even trying.” “Game Freak lied.” And so on, and so forth.  All things considered?  I didn’t need another franchise installment in my life.  I fell off at the endgame of Moon, and was willing to sit it out until Gen 9’s inevitable drop.  Maybe then, Game Freak would straighten things out.  Earn fans’ trust with a title that knocked it into space.  I bought into the fans’ outcry (despite previous indifference to it) and decided, yeah, supporting the game meant supporting a slide into mediocrity.  So, I didn’t.

Then my brother bought the game regardless.  I suspect he would have even if he knew about the controversies -- which meant I’d have to give the game an honest shot.

Pfft.  Who needs integrity, anyway?

BRB Banjo is in Smash

Jeez Louise, Sakurai and crew are just NOT letting up with these big Smash Bros. Ultimate drops, are they?  Feels like I've only just gotten started with Hero, and no I've got to put him on the back burner for the bear and bird.

You can't really blame me though, can you?

RE: Fire Emblem: Three Houses

Having beaten the Blue Lions’ campaign in Fire Emblem: Three Houses, I can now confirm that I’m 33% qualified to talk about the game with some semblance of ethos.  Well, 33.3333333333% qualified.  Can’t round up to 34% here, but all of those extra threes have got to count for something.

I mean, I was ultimately successful in achieving my end goal: making Dedue (the best character) into my husband.  

[sweetvictory.mp3 intensifies]

Now that that’s out of the way, though, I have questions about this game.  And this franchise.  Important…ish questions.  Questions that will be asked and (potentially) answered here in this very post.  Chief among them: 

What’s next for Fire Emblem?

The Smash Ultimate Salt Mines (feat. Hero)

You know, I was planning on doing another post on Super Smash Bros. Ultimate since Hero from Dragon Quest dropped not too long ago.  What I wasn’t planning on?  The fact that the guy’s still relevant days and weeks after his release -- for all the wrong reasons.

Is Hero overpowered?  Does Hero need to be banned?  The answers are…not going to be on this blog, because it’s a coin flip on whether I’ll either have a 7-match win streak, or lose 2 million GSP in a single day.  But I’ve been grinding it out in Ultimate, so I might as well gab a bit.  Come along for the ride.

The Smash Ultimate Salt Mine Report (feat. Rosalina)

So Super Smash Bros. Ultimate has been out for months now, and I still haven’t unlocked Elite Smash yet.

On one hand, I’m okay with that because I have enough trouble with the rank-and-file of regular quick play matches.  Best to struggle with those that are (usually) my speed down in the salt mines -- because misery loves company, or something.  On the other hand, this is my pride as a gamer and Smash vet we’re talking about here.  I think I’ve got something like 4 million GSP overall, with my Zelda in the top spot with a similar single-character amount.  Even if I don’t choose to go Elite, I still want the recognition that I could go Elite.

We’ll see if/when I make it there.  And if I do?  It’ll probably be with my current main, Rosalina.

...and Luma.

The Smash Ultimate Salt Mine Report (feat. Joker)

Expectation: Take advantage of time zone shenanigans to play as Joker in Super Smash Bros. Ultimate on April 16^th, 2019

Reality: Play as Joker in Super Smash Bros. Ultimate after several failed hours of attempting to brave the total wipeout of the Nintendo eShop, coalescing into me giving up, going to sleep, getting woken up at 4:33 AM, downloading the 3.0.0 update, goofing around and getting the Persona 5 Spirits, and then going back to sleep on April 18^th, 2019

Moral of the story: try to resist the urge to misappropriate the famous “hell is other people” quote when referring to any gamer who isn’t you, and simply enjoy the fact that there’s a new character in Smash.

The keyword here is “try”.  But I’ll get to that.

BRB Joker is in Smash

I love how the timing for this is both amazing and awful.

So I’ve been playing Final Fantasy 7, and…

This is a weird feeling.  

Usually when I bring up Final Fantasy on this blog, it’s to let my scorn and rage flow forth unimpeded.  In the wake of the Switch port of Final Fantasy 7, that’s not the case.  So let me be as upfront as I can right off the bat: yes, this is a good game.  Yes, it still holds up.  And speaking personally, I may like it (or at least respect it) a bit more than when I last played it.

By extension?  I’m glad I’m not on the Squeenix payroll, as a code-spewing grunt, a suited overlord, or anything in between.  If I was, I would be completely, utterly, irrevocably, justifiably, eternally embarrassed.

An Abbreviated Take on Dark Souls Remastered

Hey, guys!  Have you heard about this sick new game called Dark Souls?  I’m not that far into it, but it seems really great -- lots of challenge, and exploration, and adventures straight out of your favorite --

Wait, hold on.  Just hold on a second...

*checks remaster’s release date*

*checks original game’s release date*

Oh.  Oh.  Ohhhhhhhhh.  I’ve never been so late to the party.

RE: Tetris 99

Am I seriously about to do a post on friggin’ Tetris?  What timeline is this?  And why am I so okay with it, even if it means I may have potentially jettisoned my original timeline into the depths of oblivion?

Who cares?  It’s Tetris 99, y’all.

The Smash Ultimate Diaries -- ACT III

So I’m trying to decide whether Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse is better than, worse than, or equal to Homecoming, but in the grand scheme of things it doesn’t really matter.  While I have reservations about giving modern-day Sony’s movie division any credit or praise, a good movie is a good movie, and Miles Morales’ big screen debut is more than simply “good”.

It’s worth watching for its presentation alone -- an animated movie that doesn’t feel the need to play with kid gloves by default.  Granted there are times when the movie gets in its own way with possibly too much style -- during my viewing I thought a few times that it’d be better if they toned the AV down by 10-20% -- but it’s a critical hit more often than it misses.  Kingpin is the definition of an “absolute unit” design-wise, and seeing some of this stuff in motion makes me hungry for more.  Not just a sequel, but for other movies to be emboldened to give the style (or something like that) an honest try.  Like, Disney, maybe mimic this instead of another live-action remake?

The funny thing about the movie is that, while Homecoming stepped away from the origin story affect, Spider-Verse revels in it -- to its benefit.  Fair move, considering that we’re following Miles now.  Still, even if you’re wary of another superhero origin story, there’s more than enough meat on this movie’s bones to keep you satiated.  Shout-outs to this movie for making parents that feel like real people; this version of Jefferson isn’t just trying to run for Jesus like Spider-Man PS4’s Jefferson, and --

Wait, I feel like I should be talking about something else right now.  Oh, right.  Smash Bros.  Let’s talk about it one more time…with a focus on World of Light.  Because I beat it, and talking about that is…well, it’s necessary, I think.

The Smash Ultimate Diaries -- ACT II

Hey, welcome back to another post on my newfound crack addiction.

I had a friend come over recently, and he asked me what I thought of Smash Bros. Ultimate.  My answer, without hesitation: “It goes without saying, but this is the best Smash yet.”  I didn’t think that was a controversial statement -- can’t imagine a lot of people disagreeing with me, though we’ll see what the verdict is a year out from release -- but naturally, my brother chimed in to say “Ehhhhhhhhhhh, I dunnoooooooooooo…”  Naturally.  Because naturally, he pines for the days of Melee.  Except for that time when we played Melee again, and we all decided (in an unspoken decree) that that was a mistake.

Okay, sure, it’s not as if Melee is the worst or anything.  But the game is old enough to drive now, and holding it in unrivaled esteem does it, the franchise, or us no favors.  Even if you’re the type to uphold it for its gameplay/tournament merits, can we at least meet halfway and agree that Ultimate has the best visuals, presentation, sound design, and content thus far?  Can we?

I bet we can.  And with that out of the way, let’s talk about more Smash Ultimate stuff.

The Smash Ultimate Diaries -- ACT I

You know, I had a feeling this would happen.

Don’t misunderstand right off the bat; it’s not as if I’m about to say “Super Smash Bros. Ultimate is a huge disappointment.”  On the contrary.  I think it’s a good game, and here’s why: just as I predicted, there have been multiple instances since release day on December 7^th (6^th if you’re like me and had the digital version pre-loaded alongside geographical advantages) when I had to make a call.  Play more Smash, or get more sleep?

I’ve chosen Smash over sleep on more than one occasion.  I probably shouldn’t.  I mean, as of writing I feel a cold coming on, and it wasn’t long ago that I went to bed early because I felt like throwing up.  I didn’t, thankfully -- I need to work on rebuilding my streak of going over a decade without puking -- but the worst part about it wasn’t that I felt like my insides sparked a bloody revolution.  It was that I missed out on valuable Smash time.

Right now, all I want to do is play it more.  But in the interest of keeping this blog alive, let’s go ahead and have a random collection of thoughts.  Then more smashing.

Re: RE: Super Smash Bros. Ultimate

How to become a Game of the Year 2018 contender instantly -- irrespective of actual game quality or even a full release -- as explained by Super Smash Bros. Ultimate.

Step One: KILL EVERYONE YOU LOVE.

That’s…pretty much the only step.

Shower Thoughts with Octopath Traveler (Part 2)

I’ve long since thought of the perfect way to sum up my feelings about Octopath Traveler in terms of its gameplay (if you want story thoughts, go here instead).  The problem is that doing so means embedding a video that functions as a pretty heavy spoiler for Part 4 of JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure, and I have qualms about dropping that out of the blue.  Then again, the last episode for that aired, like, two years ago and it’s one of countless other memes, soooooooooooooooooo…yeah.

On the other hand?  If you’re anything like me, clicking on anything JoJo-related will flood your YouTube recommendations with spoilers for the now-airing Part 5 adaptation.  I guess it’ll be fine for now, given how early in the run we are (as of writing), but anyone who wants to go in raw is in for a rough time.  On the other, other hand, it’d be a travesty if I indirectly instigated spoiling. Sooooooooooooooooooo…let’s not.

This is a lot of JoJo talk for a post on Octopath Traveler. Let’s change that.

RE: Super Smash Bros. Ultimate

There’s a lot to talk about and discuss with Super Smash Bros. Ultimate, but lately there’s one thing that’s been on my mind above all else: is Sakurai going to be okay after this?

I wonder.  Director and series mainstay Masahiro Sakurai has long since earned fame and infamy for his work on the Smash Bros. Series.  Reportedly, he’s a workaholic who’s put in an insane amount of hours from game to game, with the calcific tendonitis to show for it.  And to what end?  Barring the drop of a major story mode from Brawl to 4, every new installment is bigger than the last.  More characters!  More stages!  More music!  More tweaks!  Items, Assist Trophies, Pokemon, options, modes, everything, everything, everything!  It sure as hell doesn’t seem like there’s an endgame for the franchise, a plateau upon which to rest.  

It leads me to believe -- or guess -- that this is Sakurai’s last hurrah.  Throw in everything for this game, then announce his departure -- maybe dabble in smaller or passion projects.  It’s a “salt the earth” strategy you’d kind of expect from a troll-happy creator; make a big mess, then leave the next guy to deal with the cleanup as you put on your sunglasses and backflip outta there.  As one would.

RE: Octopath Traveler

I’ll start this off by saying that I picked Ophilia as my main character in Octopath Traveler -- in the demo, which carried over to the full game.  I’m not regretting my choice.  The plan was to do a little revisionist history for Final Fantasy X, I.e. having Yuna and the pilgrimage be front and center instead of Tidus and…everything else.  For sure, the idea of playing as a cleric out on a sacred quest to perform a ritual in her family’s stead is an interesting one you don’t see very often in games, and I wanted to experience that for myself.

Imagine my surprise, then, when -- within a 10-hour span of real-world time -- my innocent, noble cleric has befriended a hunter who sics her giant snow leopard on feeble townsfolk, abetted a thief in his trespassing and attempt at grand larceny, and stood idly by while a merchant spiked a band of pirates’ wine with drugs -- which could have gone south real fast if she’d used poison instead of sleeping herbs.  Also, she’s friends with a not-quite-but-close-enough-to-it stripper, who went on to kill her boss.

This game is kind of amazing.

RE: Mario Tennis Aces

So Mario Tennis Aces has forced me to endure one of the greatest existential crises I’ve had in a while: it made me realize I’m really bad at tennis.