The Smash Ultimate Salt Mines (feat. Byleth)

Yep.  There’s no getting out of this one.

On Soul Calibur VI and Character Creators

Wow.  Soul Calibur VI has a distinction I never thought I’d reach -- an award I never thought I’d give out.  Certainly, it’s a good game; fast, furious, and fun.  I want to put more time into it, so I can learn the ins and outs as I transcend history and the world in online battles.  At the same time?  I’m about one night’s sleep away from deciding that I don’t care about the game anymore.

All I want to do is make a bunch of custom characters.  Screw the rest of the game.

Let’s discuss All Might.

I want to start this off by saying, yes, I like My Hero Academia.  I like it a lot.

I’m not just saying that because it’s popular, or because other people like it.  This anime (and the manga by extension) is legit.  Scarily so.  It’s not hard to see the machinery behind it, and its attempts at emotional torque -- but the execution here is generally at such a high level, it almost always works.  I’ve gotten the chills.  I’ve stifled the gasps.  And I’m about two steps short of starting a tally of how many times I tear up.  It’s getting pretty high up there.

Am I being emotionally manipulated?  Probably.  Am I an easy mark for this sort of thing?  Probably.  But until proven otherwise, I’m happy to say that, well, I’m happy with My Hero Academia.  There are plenty of viable reasons to point to -- to identify as successes -- with the chief one being the horrifically-lovable cast.  Certainly, All Might is among them.

But here’s the thing.  The deeper I go with the anime, the more I realize something.  I like All Might not because he’s Not-Quite-Anime Superman.  I like him because the more I think about him, the more I suspect he’s actually the worst…which is why he’s the best.

Super Hero Time 2018…Relatively Speaking

Like I said before, not every post on this blog can be about My Hero Academia.  Kingdom Hearts, maybe.  But every so often I need a chaser.  So let’s go ahead and do this lickety-split.

In a way that doesn’t tie to Kamen Rider or Super Sentai.  Much to my dismay, granted, but at least this way I don’t have to worry about Toei’s army of Lawyer Combatmen coming to break my legs.

Do it for Her, or Whatever -- ACT II

Hey, how’s it going?  Let’s talk about female characters again -- up to and including female character designs.

Let’s get to it.  Right after I whack this beehive with a hockey stick, slap a bear across the face, give that police officer over there a wedgie, and then bathe in gasoline so I can justify carrying this lit match around.

Things might get a little dicey, is what I’m trying to say here.  Leave your sensibilities at the door.

Kingdom Hearts III NEEDS A Goofy Movie World (Part 3)

Would it be too untoward of me to use the meme of the month…okay, last month…ish…to summarize the mission of this series of posts as well as artificially generate hype through an easily-repeatable phrase?  Yes, inevitably.  On the other hand, it’s still pretty funny.  So let’s go once more.

Kingdom Hearts III.

A Goofy Movie.

CAN’T ESCAPE FROM CROSSING FATE

What’s the Deal with Sonic the Hedgehog?

This is, like, the fourth post on Sonic that I’ve done in the past couple of months.  Does that mean that this is a Sonic blog now?  I hope not.  I’ve still got more bellyaching to do about Squeenix, and my hunger for vengeance shall not be sated.

In the meantime, though, I have to ask.  What’s the deal with Sonic the Hedgehog?  What deal?  Come on.  You know exactly what deal.  The memes; the OCs; the stigma; the scorn thrown the fanbase’s way; there’s so much orbiting around the blue blur that it’s actually overshadowed the character and his franchise at large.  Now that it’s infected the mainline games, there’s no point in even daring to ignore it.  But for the sake of this post -- and my presumably-life-threatening curiosity -- I want to unpack things however I can.

So that’s what I’ll do.  I’ll warn you upfront though: this post won’t be complete without mentioning Sonic Dreams Collection.  If you don’t know what that is…be grateful.  But I’ve been sitting on these thoughts for a while, so we might as well get through them together.

RE: Marvel vs. Capcom: Infinite

Hey, welcome back to Cross-Up.  Glad you’re here.  I’ve been putting some more time into the latest version of BlazBlue, and I’m dying to talk about my findings.  Even if that franchise’s future is up in the air, I’ll gladly admit that --

Wait, hold on a second.  Isn’t there another fighting game coming out this week?

*checks release schedule*

*sighs heavily*

All right.  I guess I’d better get ahead of this.

Shower Thoughts with BlazBlue: Central Fiction

So, how ‘bout them anime fighters, huh?

You know, it’s funny.  I remember a time when it seemed like we would never get another Guilty Gear game (i.e. a totally new one instead of a revamp like Accent Core), but Arc System Works pulled through by introducing the world to Ragna, Jin, and all the rest -- “the rest”, of course, being high-octane sprite battles and tunes provided by verifiable rock deity Daisuke Ishiwatari.  Now the tables have turned, though.  Guilty Gear is back via the Xrd series, while BlazBlue is most likely on its way out thanks to (what I assume is) a wrapped-up story.

Full disclosure: I know BB has its detractors, but I’m not one of them.  I like the franchise, and I think -- or at least hope -- that there’s room for both it and GG in the fighting game world.  Then again, supporting both might stretch ArcSys’ resources too thin, soooooooooooooooooooooo…yeah, not a pleasant thought.

So let’s sidestep the grim realities of game development and wealth disparities.  Let’s get in deep with BlazBlue.  And, more specifically…

Valkyria Revolution: It’s So Bad (Part 3)

So I have a question to start off: why do things suck?

By “things” I mean, of course, products in the media and entertainment industries.  Movies, TV shows, books, music, video games -- all of that and more.  One would think, or at least hope, that if a product is allowed to grace store shelves (physical or digital), then it should be good enough to merit that.  The gatekeepers on all walks of entertainment should, in theory, do their jobs and keep the trash from becoming available for purchase.  Right?

But even if we overlook the business aspect of the equation, there’s still the creative input and vision that goes behind the stuff that sucks.  As of this post, it’s 2017.  Media consumption is easier than it’s ever been thanks to various technological advents -- and it’ll only get easier from here.  Creators and audiences alike should have an idea by now of what works and what doesn’t.  What’s good and what’s bad.  What’s appreciable and what’s unacceptable.  Audiences should be able -- if not willing -- to call out fouls in a product.  But they shouldn’t have to reach that point in the first place, because good content creators should have the skill to avoid some of their respective media’s worst vices.

That’s how it should be.  Except it isn’t.  Valkyria Revolution is proof of that.

*sigh* Let’s talk about the main character.

Persona 5: Waifus all Night (FINALE)

I just love how this series’ title has taken on a whole new meaning with the reveal of two new dancing spinoffs for the Persona franchise.  On that note?  Hard to believe that there are two instead of just one, but I’m down for it.  Seeing the Phantom Thieves bust a move put a smile on my face, especially when Ryuji and Ann dropped in to pop and lock.

Oh, by the way, Ann’s my Persona 5 waifu.  That was obvious weeks ago, but you know.  Might as well make it official, eh?  Let’s discuss why -- WITH ULTIMATE SPOILERS.  But first…

Persona 5: Waifus All Night (Part 3)

Okay, I know this post and the last two are about Persona 5’s waifus (those in the main party, at least), but can we take some time out to talk about the potential husbandos?  Or the bros, alternatively?

I’m not debating or downplaying the quality of the ladies in this game.  But given the choice, I’d go with Ryuji above all others without flinching.  If there was a very specific, character-driven alternate ending or string of extra scTales of Symphonia -- and the only way to get them was to get closer to one of your comrades, then I’d shove all of the other waifus out of the way for the chance to pal around with Loud Kiddington.  Ryuji’s my bro, no contest…except it’s still kind of a contest given guys like Yusuke “Lobsters” Kitamura, Sojiro, Mishima, Yoshida, and the rest.

enes -- a la

So on that note?  I’ll go ahead and parrot a sentiment that’s been floating around for a while: give me romance options for the boys/men, whether that involves making a female protagonist or not.  (I’d assume it wouldn’t because of the drain on resources a FeMC would be.)  I don’t want to keep my bros at arm’s length, or treated as the loser option because I didn’t pine after a waifu.  I want to hang out with the characters I think are coolest, regardless of gender.  Chances are high that others feel the same way, or they just flat-out want that romance option because it suits them best.  In which case?  Atlus, don’t let us down next time.  You’re pretty much our only hope in a world where Final Fantasy can barely scrape to the level of mediocrity.

But enough about that.  Let’s get back in the waifu game…with ALL THE SPOILERS.

Persona 5: Waifus All Night (Part 2)

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Yes, cheating!  Want immediate profits without doing the work?  Caught in a tight spot because you didn’t prepare in advance like your mother told you to?  Looking forward to embracing a live of vice and criminality?  Then cheat!  Cheat your way to victory -- and you’ll wonder how you ever got by without it!  Order now while supplies last.

And now back to our regularly scheduled programming -- featuring Persona 5 waifus.  AND SPOILERS.

I feel really bad for Capcom right now.

*sigh*

You know what, though?  I feel like I’ve got no one to blame but myself.

Persona 5: Waifus All Night (Part 1)

I know this is a controversial opinion, but I think Persona 5 is a great game.  Shocker, I know.  Feel free to skewer me with your pitchforks at any time.

There are many, many, many reasons as to why Atlus’ latest show-stopper has found the fanbase it has now.  The visual flair; the incredible soundtrack; the satisfying story; the snappy gameplay; there’s so much here that works, I feel bad for any other developer who’s even dreamt of jumping into the JRPG ring.  But it’s not like anyone cares about that stuff.  As we all know, the true measure of a game’s worth is the quality of its waifus.  And thus, I stand here today -- well, sit here today to give my thoughts.  Who is, without question, objectively, undeniably the best girl that Persona 5 has to offer?  Who among the cast shines bright as a Cadillac of womanhood?

*shrugs* I dunno.  But I’ve got to play up this bit somehow.  So let’s talk waifus…WITH SPOILERS, of course.  But mostly waifus.

RE: Injustice 2

So I want to do a quick post on Injustice 2 and/or early impressions bit, but there’s something that I need to ask before I get started.  Comic book fans or otherwise, help me out here.  I have a question.

Does DC just plain hate Superman right now?  Does everyone?

The New Age of Villains?! (Part 1)

Not to be confused with the New Age of Heroes, of course.

Okay, all joking aside, I’ll say it plainly here.  This post is going to feature Persona 5, and I get the feeling that that’s a touchy subject.  Not because of the game’s quality or content, but because it’s a treasure trove of spoilers right now (and will be for a while; I’ve taken heat for offhandedly “spoiling” Persona 4 via screenshot four years after its release).  I’m not going to spoil much of anything here, because 1) that’s a dirtbag move, 2) it’s a game that deserves to be played raw, and 3) I’m actually not that far into the game compared to others, so I’m a target for spoilers as well.  So, this is only going to go up to the halfway point of the second dungeon.  If you don’t want to know anything that happens before that point, then leave now.

Also?  Notice that the header up there has more than just the Phantom Thieves.  Meaning that, yes, this is also a post on Tales of Berseria -- however tangentially for now -- which means that’ll involve spoilers as well in the near future.  Why?  Because it’s a good-ass game, and the likelihood (if not reality) that there are people out there that haven’t played it -- or worse yet, are going “what’s a Berseria?” -- fills me with enough rage and sorrow to replace every drop of blood in my body with malice that erodes me from the inside out. 

Plus it’s thematically relevant for the topic, so there’s that.

JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure: All Star Blogging (Intermission)

And here we are at last.

So.  Let’s go ahead and breakdown, breakdown JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure one more time…for now, at least.

JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure: All Star Blogging (Part 3)

“There’s no way Joseph is the best JoJo.”

I’m not usually one to play the contrarian, even though it seems like that with some of my less-than-ideal opinions (like anything that has to do with Naughty Dog).  I’d like to think that I’m able to rise above preconceptions and biases to speak clearly and honestly about subjects.  But for the life of me -- and even now -- I cannot say that Joseph Joestar is the best lead JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure has to offer.

Hear me out on this.  Joseph is the hero of Part 2 -- Battle Tendency -- which ran from 1987 to 1989 in manga form, and from December 2012 to April 2013 in anime form.  The former came out forever and a day ago, while the latter is fresher on people’s minds (thanks to all sorts of memes, to generalize).  Either way, there’s a LOT of content to go through.  Remember, there are eight different JoJo sagas out there, with the latest of the bunch still in production.  There’s a ton that people still need to be exposed to and given the chance to digest.  Even if we peel away 75% of the context of each arc, we still need to put every JoJo under the microscope.  Those who are 100% up to date with the manga can probably do that, but for everyone else?  How can you say “Joseph is the best” when at a bare-ass minimum, we’ve still got to get through Giorno, Joylene, Johnny, and Gappy Josuke?

Now, you can say “Joseph is my favorite JoJo so far”, because that’s much easier and more credible to quantify.  It’s an opinion with good grounding.  So with all of that said, I’ll declare this: no, Joseph is not my favorite JoJo so far.  But he’s still a good, good, good, good, damn good character.  And the same applies to Battle Tendency.

Like a bloody SPOILERS

Burning like a bloody SPOILERS

Some SPOILERS pound through your veins…and this post

Shower Thoughts with Stardust Crusaders (Part 3)

So if you could have a Stand, what would it be?

That’s kind of a dirty question, because according to JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure as we know it, you don’t get to choose your Stand.  It’s a reflection of you.  Granted that reflection tends to be tailor-made to suit the Stand user personality-wise, but it’s like the X-Men: you make do with what you’ve got, because what you’ve got is…well, you.  Still, there’s a ton of allure in imagining what it’d be like to have your own ghostly companion.  I’ve certainly indulged.

I’ll hold off on describing my ideal Stand for now, because that’d take a bit of time, I haven’t completely nailed it down, and (since this is the intro) there’s a lot of more relevant ground to cover.  I can tell you right now that it’s not too dissimilar from Echoes in Diamond is Unbreakable, barring some stuff that I’m pretty sure counts as a spoiler or eight.  So let’s go back to talking about Stardust Crusaders for the third and final time.  The premise?  I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: Stands in Part 3 are an embodiment of what you want to be, but fail to be.

And I’ll drive that point home one last time…with spoilers aplenty.  But then again, is there any better way to celebrate Thanksgiving Day than with theory-crafting for JoJo?  Probably.  Also, I hope I didn’t date this post super-hard.