Like I said before, not every post on this blog can be about My Hero Academia. Kingdom Hearts, maybe. But every so often I need a chaser. So let’s go ahead and do this lickety-split.
In a way that doesn’t tie to Kamen Rider or Super Sentai. Much to my dismay, granted, but at least this way I don’t have to worry about Toei’s army of Lawyer Combatmen coming to break my legs.
MMMMMMMMMMMMMM. I LOVE THIS JINGLE.
Now then. I should start by saying that I’ve been on an art kick recently. The reason for it is that it’s part of an ongoing endeavor -- paradoxically, an effort to make art so that I can make less art. My line of reasoning is that, if I can take some 2D art I make and render it in 3D programs, then it’ll be infinitely easier to produce more content, more often, and more fasterer. It’s the same reason why 2D sprites in gaming has mostly gone by the wayside; you lose a lot of style points, but you make it back with productivity. Assuming you don’t go over the limit.
I know what you’re thinking, imaginary reader. “But Voltech, I thought your lifelong ambition was to be a novelist -- a ‘writing hero’, whatever that means!” And yes, you’re right. That’s true. I haven’t forgotten, as you’ll discover in a moment. The thing du jour is that I have a hunch that developing my artistic skills can help me build awareness of my “brand” that a chapter thousands of words long (or blog post thousands of words long, if I’m being honest) can’t, at least not readily. Ten to fifteen minutes of time/effort to enjoy something I write, or five seconds to enjoy something I “draw”. What do you think most people will opt for on the internet and in the internet age?
In the future, I hope the reverse is true -- that the words I string together will be enough to captivate folks far and wide. As a nobody whose greatest achievement to date is bitching at length about Final Fantasy, I’ll have to take a pragmatic approach if I want to get anything accomplished. Not to be cynical, but from what I can gather? It doesn’t matter how high quality your writing is if it can’t sell and/or it won’t make anyone, least of all those in the industry, any money. Being somebody, or somebody who’s basically an attention magnet -- like a celebrity, or someone who’s got verifiable internet fame, I’d wager -- builds a pretty stable road toward the printed goal.
I’d prefer not to worry about that and focus solely on the writing, though. A good story is a good story, and is worth getting out there despite tricks and gimmicks. With that said? Making new art gives me a chance to see my characters in a new light -- to have their nuances realized in more ways than descriptions. I can confirm that a picture is worth a thousand words; granted it’s more like ten thousand in my case, but you get the idea.
Speaking of “in my case”, there’s probably a quirk about me that’s worth mentioning: I’m not in the habit of throwing things away. I’m not a hoarder or anything, so it’s not as if I’m at risk of getting trapped or buried in my own room. But speaking specifically vis a vis the topic at hand, I have many files and archives on tap -- things I’ve kept saved over the years, so that digging them out of my computer is no impossible task.
You know what that means, right? Yep. WARNING. RED ALERT. SHITTY OLD ART INCOMING. LOOK AT YOUR OWN RISK. Setting that aside, though, dredging up those old files is important to me. Painful, most certainly. Cringe-inducing, absolutely. But I need to see how far I’ve come with certain characters, and there’s no easier way to get a snapshot of that than with the drawings I once thought acceptable -- with incarnations of the characters I once thought acceptable.
So. Deep breaths. Find your center. We’ll get through this together (the safe word is Fourze).
Let’s get started.
This is -- oh, wait, hold on a second.
Okay. Okay. Okay, I think I’m good now. I got it out of my system.
Right. Now, this is Arc. I’m pretty sure I talked about him at length somewhere on this blog, but for convenience’s sake I’ll sum it up quickly: he’s the star of my main novel project, one that predated this blog by a pretty big margin. To say that there have been changes under the hood in the time since -- before and after Cross-Up’s inception -- would be an understatement the size of California if it bathed in radioactive goo. Those changes extend to Arc. This is what he was in the past, back when he had the surname “Euler”.
Now to tentatively rename this post’s title as “God, No Wonder I Didn’t Get Published”. Thinking back, A. Euler’s nature and characterization were utterly grating. I had a plan for him, naturally, but it was a shitty plan built upon a shitty character. And I’m not saying that to get the “oh, you’re just saying that because of hindsight”.
I mean he was objectively bad. Cringe beyond cringe.
I wanted to create a cool character -- his design was heavily based on the MC from Persona 3 -- but I went too far. Way too far. While P3’s lead was a blank slate that could be used for wish fulfillment and power fantasies, A. Euler (by my own bumbling, ignorance, and hubris) ended up existing solely for wish fulfillment and power fantasies. Smarter than everyone else, a flawless fighter, cocky as all get out with the mouth to match, cocksure in his way of life…he even managed to put the lord of the dead on the ropes in their very first skirmish. Even though the only superpower he had on hand was some yo-yo skills. I’d ask what the hell I was thinking, but the obvious answer is that I wasn’t.
The saving grace is that -- as I explained to others -- he was kind of an asshole, and supposed to come off as such in-universe. I nailed that part no problem. But what was there to offset it? The trajectory of his character ran through the bog-standard “power of friendship”, which ended up getting distorted even further because -- despite getting killed by the dead-lord -- he came back with ghostly, shadowy powers. Oh God, it was such a mess. Borderline edgelord stuff…by which I mean actual edgelord stuff.
I was really into D. Gray-Man at the time, so I thought, “Man, it’d be cool to have an Exorcist-type guy as the lead.” So how did I mangle this…
Into this?
To anyone reading this: you have full permission to kick me as hard as you can in the nards.
I think I know what the problem was, and you can see it in the art. See, the thing about Arc in his earlier incarnations was that -- besides the retroactively unforgivable Gary Stu traits -- he was way too smug. Overconfident. Full of hubris. Having a mouth on him was one thing, but another entirely for him to be able to cheese his way to one victory after the next. Were he to make it into a printed state, he’d be a protagonist that’s supremely easy to hate.
Still, we can all give Past Voltech a little credit. Over the course of 1-2 years, I revamped the story so severely that it might as well have been named something else entirely. And it was, actually! With those changes to the narrative came changes to Arc. Based on feedback from others, I did what I could to take the “best” of the character while downplaying or removing the worst. If I remember right, the “best” was that he was a “dark” character -- someone serious, severe, and sometimes even scary. So that became more of a focus, and part of an effort to reinforce a new mindset: the idea that despite his quips and poise, Arc was a deeply flawed, fundamentally unwell person.
The revisions throughout the years have been about more than nerfing him (whether compared to the rest of the cast or previous versions, he’s a fragile speedster through and through). On one hand, it’s been about making him stronger -- genuinely stronger, in terms of moral fiber and integrity. As the main character of the story, especially one penned by a guy who started this post with a tokusatsu track, he has to be someone worthy of being a hero. He has to prove his mettle, the soul that makes him capable of standing up for the masses in-universe and out of it.
Later art reflected this, I’d say (or hope). In the past, it was all about showing off his style. His pride. His readiness, willingness, and ability to dominate. In the…not-quite-so-past? His focus. His quiet determination. His borderline-worrisome willpower, even if left unspoken. The Euler form was all about him saying “look how strong and cool I am, so watch me flex”. Later forms (historically, “Howard” was next in line) revamped him to internalize and redirect that swagger. He became the “speak softly and carry a big stick” sort of person. Ideally. I mean, I hope so. It’s been a minute since I read through the old versions of the character.
Then again, I guess it doesn’t really matter. I revamped the revamp, which means right now I’m working on a revamp. Try saying that ten times fast.
I think I figured out --
Oh, also? Arc’s gotten progressively shorter over time. He went from 5’6” and 15 years old to 5’3”. And also 15 years old. I think that’s within the bell curve’s standard parameters, but that still makes him the shortest male member of the cast by a decent margin (the second shortest is 5’8” and 14 years old). Just saying.
Anyway, I think I figured out what I’ve been missing, and in more ways than one. The latest incarnations of the character (his last name’s Siegel now, BTW) have made him into someone who strives to do what he thinks is right, relying on his will and wits to see him through. The odds he faces are borderline impossible, especially now; he has no powers save for some fighting skills that put him on the same tier as a Final Fight character…and the rank-and-file enemies he faces at the outset are on the same tier as the X-Men. Uh-oh.
But more importantly? I’ve been thinking that, even with the revisions that have come as recently as six months ago, it’s not enough. Arc is supposed to be a strong character, someone who by default strives to be a hero in times of duress because of his ironclad beliefs. Where do you go from there? I’m not saying it’s impossible, obviously. It’s just that in the context of the character, I may have preemptively hit a stumbling block -- screwed up on page one -- because he still has the DNA of his smug predecessor.
Was he flawed enough? Did he have room to grow? Were all of his issues just formalities to be mentioned and then overlooked? Could I make a strong first impression with the character as he was? And the biggest, most critical question of all: was he interesting? Some might say yes. Were I to drop a copy of a draft for people to read, I might get plenty of responses saying “wow, what a great character” or some such praise.
But it’s not enough. It wasn’t enough. Something about Arc felt MIA, and what I did to try and substitute it made for a weaker overall product -- yet another ball and chain keeping me from getting published, or even given more from a literary agent besides a copypasta rejection email. As he was, in his “greatest” incarnation a few months ago, I wouldn’t blame anyone who said he came off as a quip-happy Marvel movie knockoff. The snarky, sniping joker, in spite of the goings-on. What’s the remedy for that? How do you refocus and sharpen the essence of a character?
Now I have an answer. In order to make Arc the best he can be, I have to break him. And now I have.
I won’t deny that, once I finish this latest round of edits, Arc will still be an asshole. That’s effectively wired into his programming, and you’d have to snap his motherboard in half to save him. But he’s a different sort compared to the Euler form. That one was smug and insufferable (and let’s ignore the fact that he won over a busty onee-san for the sake of a love triangle). This one is…kind of a weirdo. Smart as all the other forms, if not smarter, but in a way that makes you wonder if there’s legitimately something wrong with him.
He’s not Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory -- the less said about that, the better -- but he pushes the needle closer to that than, say, Tony Stark. He’s grave, he’s obsessive, he’s often single-minded in his pursuits. He’s thoughtful to a fault, he’s mindful of his failings, he’s concerned about things no 15-year-old should ever concern himself with. He’ll make you wonder what disorders he’s got, what meds he’s on, and what sort of wonders it’ll do if he were to actually start eating breakfast.
But maybe most of all? More than any other incarnation to date -- assuming that my authorial intent carries through execution-wise -- there’s more of me in Arc.
That seems implausible in a lot of ways (until you remember that I’m a secret asshole, but whatever). And to be clear, it’s not a one-to-one comparison at all. I’m me, and Arc is Arc. But in an effort to develop my voice, I need to make his voice sing out louder. And to do that? I need to put my trust in this character -- believe that he can do more, and be more, on my behalf.
In a sense. What I’ve realized is that even if I’m real and he’s not -- even if I’m in control and he’s just a tool -- the two of us are in this together. We have to work together. Our words and thoughts need to sync up more than they ever have before. When we form a stronger partnership -- when we find that BEST MATCH of writer and lead -- I’ll feel what he feels. He’ll understand what I understand. His anger, pain, confusion, and despair will all be extensions of mine. And in turn, mine will be extensions of his.
We’ll make a miracle happen.
That’s more than just a hope. That’s a promise.
That’ll do it for now. See you next time.
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