It seems like the only time I consistently play Overwatch is when there’s an event that gives me a chance to deck out my girl Mercy with some stylin’ new threads. Most of the time my chances are non-existent, but that hasn’t stopped me from trying. And failing. And trying again. So it goes that, in the wake of the 2018 Summer Games event, I’m back in and grinding it out to try and get my hands on the Winged Victory skin.
I’ve failed. Triumphantly. I might have a chance to grab one or two more loot boxes, but by the time you read this, I’ll probably have thrown in the towel by virtue of the event’s end. Still, I’ve been grinding it out before I miss the Winged Victory costume again, so you know what that means. Time for me to start a new, off-and-on series on Overwatch. So let the salt flow through you as I talk about Blizzard’s beloved (?) shooter. Starting with…
--I’ve already mentioned in the past that D.Va is my least favorite character in the entire game, and that opinion’s not changing anytime soon. It’s not that I think she’s overpowered or anything. As a Tank, she doesn’t strike me as anything more than a damage sponge delaying the inevitable (unless she uses NERF THISSSSSSSSSSSSSS, because ughhhhhhhhhhhhhh). As a character? Bland at best, irritating at worst -- less of a person and more of a gimmick.
--The real reason I’m starting this post off with D.Va is that her animated short came out recently. Prior to it? I remember when Blizzard was teasing the next short (after a long absence of such), and I was getting really excited. Who would be the star? What lore would we have revealed, given that we’re STILL lacking a decent, easily-accessed campaign? Then my hype got sucked down a black hole when I found out whose it was. And then the black hole got sucked down a black hole when I actually watched it.
--It’s…not the worst thing ever, sure. But if I was in a sourer mood, I would have and should have skipped ahead in the YouTube vid. I like the idea that the media is selling D.Va’s unit as a bunch of flawless superstars and hiding the truth. And it’s cool that we got to see some new characters (even if they’re never promoted to playable). But BOY is the showing this time underwhelming. The enemy this time is a bunch of generic Tentacle-Bots? The moral of friendship and teamwork is completely token and ignored? Nothing has changed as a result of the short?
--D.Va was supposed to save the short -- as the star of “Shooting Star” -- but she’s the reason it falters. Her character ticks me off in the game proper, but at least it is a personality. In the short, pretty much nothing about her identity shines through besides A) the way she looks, and B) she eats knockoff Doritos and Mountain Dew. She’s just this generic, heroic heroine whose chances to show some depth -- workaholic tendencies, PTSD issues, penchant for going lone wolf, even though the Reinhardt short already explored that territory better -- are sanded over. And again, for what purpose? To take down a handful of Tentacle-Bots? No. I refuse.
--I’m planning to do a post on the subject of generic heroines (for lack of a better term) at some point in the future. Don’t worry, though -- D.Va won’t be involved in it. I’d love to dump on her some more, buuuuuuuuuut there’s someone else who triggered the topic. So look forward to that.
--You know who still has the best animated short (so far)? My vote goes to “Recall”. It advances the plot. It has some nice moments of humor. It gives us insights into the star character. It does have a skirmish with generic soldiers, but having Reaper show up -- and the threat of a data breach -- gives the 8-minute snippet some more weight. It’s really unflattering to think that the best short came out 2 years ago, and now it seems like Blizzard is spinning its wheels and counting its loot box bucks instead of pushing the envelope.
--That’s really jarring, considering Winston’s drive to try and see/make the world as what it could be. That level of optimism, zeal, and hope is something that once set Overwatch apart from the slogs and grim-drunk narratives of junk like Call of Duty and Battlefield. It’s an important part of both the character and the franchise as a whole, represented by someone who sees science as a gateway to the future. In a world where certain administrations are keen to stick their collective heads in the sand and turn back the clock until even grade school-level education is a luxury, that’s a hell of a message to push.
--I know I’m not the only one asking this, but I’ll repeat it nonetheless: JUST MAKE A MOVIE ALREADY BLIZZARD, FFS! PUT IT ON NETFLIX, AND STOP JERKING US AROUND!
--I may have missed out on getting Winged Victory, but in exchange? I got Grillmaster 76 and Fastball Zenyatta -- not at the same time, mind, but that just goes to show you how much I’ve been grinding. So once again, I run into the same problem Overwatch has always had, and the same problem every player has had to deal with for ages: the loot box system is borked. It’s infuriating. It’s unfair. It’s spiteful. The game outside of that is so solid and generally enjoyable, yet I’m forced to resent it constantly because of the loot box system.
--I mean, come on. Getting stuff each time you level up or win a certain number of challenges? That’s all right, I guess. Making it so that your loot pulls have a high probability of serving up junk? Not so all right. Making it so that you only have a limited time to get certain (and doubtless rare and valuable) items? Bad. Necessitating the active purchase of loot boxes with real world money because you can’t reliably earn in-game currency in the amount you need for the stuff you care about and because you lack the time to hop in the salt mines to grind out loot boxes? Real bad. Cripes, you can’t even buy the costume you want -- just the chance to get the costume you want. Even Capcom’s got you beat on that front, Blizzard. Capcom!
--Given that loot boxes are actively being banned and ripped from games elsewhere in the world, it’s almost as if the devs shouldn’t have ever tried to introduce a gambling mechanic in the first place (even if the higher-ups and the shareholders in the shadows demanded it, but whatever). Either way, there HAS to be a better solution than what they have now. Yeah, it’ll probably mean less money for them, but -- well, I guess there’s no “but” in this situation. It’s either make tons of money or GTFO.
--I actively started to feel bad for my loot pulls. I’ll take Fastball Zenyatta, but what kills me is that it was my brother who wanted it the most. And plenty of other skins; he’s way better at shooters than I am, but his loot luck is so abysmal that he rarely, rarely gets anything. So I met up with him one day and said “Ready to get really mad at me?” when I got the mechanical monk’s costume.
--So, like, here’s an idea. I don’t know how feasible it would be (it might run the risk of security concerns), but you know what? If Blizzard is trying to spread good feelings, camaraderie, and sportsmanship among its player base, then why not add a trade feature for loot among friends or teammates? The only skins my brother reliably has stocked are for Symmetra, a character he’s resolved to never play. I don’t play her often either, but hell, I’ll gladly take one off his hands if it means giving him skins. Or offloading skins for characters I’ll never, ever use. Come on, Blizzard -- let players share the love amongst themselves besides through endorsements.
--Brigitte…is a problem.
--As you can guess, I’ve been hitting the arcade/FFA Deathmatches to earn loot boxes as fast as possible. Not fast enough, apparently, given that at best I’m a little over halfway to buying Mercy’s costume with in-game credits. In any case, I’m finding that Brigitte is a really popular pick -- and having gone up against her more often than I have with her, I’m seriously starting to resent the character.
--This character is ridiculous. In a team/quick play setting, not so much (I’d think). But in a deathmatch that often breaks down into one-on-one skirmishes? Ooof. I’d imagine that it’d be fine if you’ve got a high-mobility character who can dance around her shield. I don’t. She can pretty much endure everything I throw at her -- actively negating my Mercy -- until she can close the gap. When she does? Time to start swinging. And swinging, and swinging, and stunning, and swinging. She’s got better range than Reinhardt (which to be fair isn’t hard), but also out-ranges Winston and Mei, so they’re out. Basically, if a player has her picked -- or two players, or god forbid three -- then I’m forced out of my favorites thanks to a hard counter.
--I’m not saying she’s OP, though. She’s consistently a threat, sure, but what I’ve noticed is that even if Brigitte players rack up kills, it’s never enough to outpace other players and other characters. If you can fight her at range before she puts her shield up, you win -- which means just like everyone else, she’s vulnerable to well-placed shots by Hanzo or Widowmaker. It’s the same with Bastion (and presumably Torbjorn), but Bastion in turret can do enough damage at once to rip through Brigitte’s shields before she can land a hit/stun, assuming he has at least a little distance first. Pharah can handle her too, I bet.
--Speaking of? Pharah is what I like to call “the problem solver”. I tend to not play Offense heroes at all (Support > Tank > Defense > Offense), but in the interest of getting shit done I bit the bullet. For me, Pharah’s the missing link I’ve so desperately needed -- someone who can do serious damage in a few shots, mitigating the risk of having a kill swiped from me. Her flight abilities let me get the jump on foes, and in the middle of a skirmish, being able to abuse the Z-axis makes for an advantage I’m thankful to have. She’s still not my favorite character by any means, but thanks to her, I’ve been able to make some remarkable jumps into the Top 3 of a deathmatch after disaster in the first half.
--Just like with fighting games, my consistent issue with Overwatch is that my damage output (burst or otherwise) is comparatively low, regardless of who I’m using. Even Pharah, in some cases. I can wear down an opponent over time, but that just means my skirmishes last longer than most, and it means I’m at a bigger risk of death the longer the fight wears on. How many points have I lost because I whittled a target down to 5% of his health, only to die at the last second and then watch that point get scooped up by someone who saunters onto the scene? Too many times, I tell you.
--But because this is Overwatch and not Street Fighter, another fatal flaw rears its ugly head: I’m bad at shooters. Unforgivably bad. My big dumb moron brain has yet to reconcile moving, aiming, and shooting at the same time, save for a few miracles here or there (and the experience I’ve gained with Pharah). Without a continuous stream of fire like Bastion, and without a hold-and-approach spray like Winston, Mei, or Moira, I’m crippled in terms of my damage output.
--There was a time pre-Brigitte when I got 1st place in a deathmatch with Mercy (who’s LITERALLY THE BEST, in case you forgot), but the planets are aligned no longer. So really, all you have to do to thwart me or spout of a great big “NANI?!” is jump past me with Genji or Hanzo. That, or casually, slowly wobble left and right. Then I’m helpless.
--Didn’t think I’d let this post end without mentioning Wrecking Ball, did you? I can’t say I’m planning to add Hamtaro into my rotation; while I appreciate the fact that he can get into a fight quickly, high-mobility types have never been my specialty. But I did give him a shot, and I’d certainly pick him over a number of other heroes…if only to learn how to effectively control him.
--Point for point, what does more damage: his gunfire, or his swinging/dropping mechanics? Probably the latter, if I had to guess. His machine guns can help him put up a good fight, yet it wouldn’t surprise me at all if it turns out he has to get physical to score some kills. Also, it probably makes him a much trickier target to hit. Being able to take a big amount of damage while also drawing eyes/fire away from teammates seems like a pretty handy, if unexpected, suite of abilities for a Tank.
--Fighting against him is…not bad, I’d say. I’d rather take him on than Brigitte, that’s for sure. He can get some big hits if he has the element of surprise or enough momentum in his swings; that said, he’s a target just like anyone else once he hunkers down for a fair fight. I guess that means a viable (if not recommended) strategy with him is to make it into a combat zone, disrupt with momentum, zip out of danger, and then zip back in with more momentum. Just a theory, though, so we’ll see how well he’ll be integrated into team/competitive settings.
--But for real, though: can you believe the audacity of the devs to weaponize a hamster ball? Jeez. As a former owner of hamsters, I can only imagine/dread how much poop is in there.
And that’ll do it for this round of Overwatch bumbling. There’s a lot about this game that’s worth getting salty about, but for what it’s worth? There must be something about this game to keep me coming back for more beyond just being able to deck out my favorite waifu. So whether or not my characters get some new threads in the next big event, I’ll be back for more at some point. And I hope that you feel the same.
Thanks for reading. Now excuse me while I petition Blizzard for the Mercy short the world so rightly deserves.
…
…
Can -- can you tell I like Mercy?
Because I do.
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