Super Novel Adventures of DOOM (AKA Hiatus Time)

All right, I’m just going to come out and say it: I like Infinite’s theme from Sonic Forces.

I’m an easy mark for songs with heavy guitars and/or metal vibes, so the instrumental aspect has its charms.  The techno stuff is fine, too, especially given the character we’re dealing with -- a masked menace that uses a perversion of science’s power to cast illusions and inspire fear in others.  In theory, that should mean I’d say “the lyrics are the weak link”, but I’m fine with them.  It comes off as someone with a HUGE ego boasting about how strong and cool and deadly they are.  Expected, but appreciable nonetheless.

I’m not 100% in love with the song, granted, but I’ll give it a listen without cringing.  Maybe that’s because I’m inclined to play the contrarian; I’ve seen comments decrying the song and the character as “LOL SO EDGY” and “THE EDGIEST CHARACTER EVER” -- and I don’t really see it.  Is it just because it sounds like a Linkin Park song?  Is it because of the context of the character?  I guess it begs the question of what it means to be edgy in the first place.  Unless we can all come to a consensus on the qualifications, I get the feeling that --

What?  Huh?  What do you mean this isn’t another post on a Sonic game?

*reads title*

Oh.  Okay, let’s shift gears then.

What’s the Deal with Sonic the Hedgehog?

This is, like, the fourth post on Sonic that I’ve done in the past couple of months.  Does that mean that this is a Sonic blog now?  I hope not.  I’ve still got more bellyaching to do about Squeenix, and my hunger for vengeance shall not be sated.

In the meantime, though, I have to ask.  What’s the deal with Sonic the Hedgehog?  What deal?  Come on.  You know exactly what deal.  The memes; the OCs; the stigma; the scorn thrown the fanbase’s way; there’s so much orbiting around the blue blur that it’s actually overshadowed the character and his franchise at large.  Now that it’s infected the mainline games, there’s no point in even daring to ignore it.  But for the sake of this post -- and my presumably-life-threatening curiosity -- I want to unpack things however I can.

So that’s what I’ll do.  I’ll warn you upfront though: this post won’t be complete without mentioning Sonic Dreams Collection.  If you don’t know what that is…be grateful.  But I’ve been sitting on these thoughts for a while, so we might as well get through them together.

Let’s “discuss” Sonic Forces.

When I was nine years old, my mom got me an electronic thesaurus/dictionary to help me with my homework.  See, my third grade class tossed out tons of vocabulary assignments week after week; since we didn’t have a good computer or internet connection at the time -- and I wonder if dictionary.com was even a thing -- my mom got it for me one Christmas to slash homework time down to a fraction.  It worked, and it continued to work for years afterward.  I’ve actually still got it within a foot of me as I type this; it needs batteries, and I suspect the display is busted, but it makes for a good memento.

I’ve always had this theory that whatever you had or did as a child would decide what you’d do in the future.  I’m pretty sure that theory’s been debunked, but I think back to that from time to time.  If I hadn’t gotten that thesaurus as a snot-nosed baby afro, would I have ever wanted to become a writer?  Probably, given that stories helped inspire me, not just tech.  Either way, I’d think that having that gadget around pushed me toward developing stronger diction.  Toward choosing the right word for the task.  Toward saying what needs to be said.

What does any of that have to do with Sonic Forces?  It’s simple.  I don’t need any gadgets or reference materials to give my thoughts.  I can sum up the game in one word.  And unfortunately, that word is flaccid.

Sonic Forces is…Uhhhhhhhhhh?

Wait, didn’t I just do a post on a Sonic game a few weeks back?  Haven’t I met my quota for the year?

Yes, probably.  On the other hand, I’m pretty sure everybody’s already standing by the proverbial barrel.  So I guess I’ll grab my magnum, join in, and play a winning game of Russian roulette with some swimming little fish sticks in the making.

RE: Sonic Mania

Gotta go fast?  Nah, son.  Gotta go at a measured and moderate pace, accelerating when necessary.

All right.  Now let’s talk about Sonic Mania.

Let’s discuss video games -- with a vengeance.

Dare I say it…with a REVENGEANCE?!  (Seriously, though.  Go play Metal Gear Rising if you haven't yet.  Trust me on this.)

Improbable synonyms for a vendetta aside, I’ve been thinking about games a lot recently…well, about as much as usual, give or take a degree.  The 3DS has been out for a while now, and the Wii U is firmly lodged in stores, the hands of gamers, or the minds of millions as they wait for their store of choice to restock (at least if the Wii’s original unavailability is anything to go by).  It makes me wonder about the future of games; what’s going to happen next?  I remember how a friend of mine was utterly infuriated by Nintendo in its E3 showing, but as I’ve said (in real life and in other contexts), Nintendo’s not in any danger of failure.  The Wii U is going to be fine, hiccups here and there aside.  And while I have many…many…many reservations about the future of other companies -- hardware or software developers -- I’m more than willing to assume everything will work out.

That said, I can’t help but feel like taking steps back every now and then -- remembering the good old days, and smiling fondly thanks to those simulated sights.  And that’s why the theme of this round of Let’s Discuss is “return” -- get ready for games old and new-ish.  What will pop out before your eyes?  What fiendish sights will wreak havoc on your optic nerves?  What hyperbole can I slip into the next fifteen words or so?  Find out, or you’re certain to face a reality-destroying apocalypse!

Sonic the Hedgehog: Forever Tails

I missed out on the NES generation of gaming.  If you asked me about World 4-2 of Super Mario Bros. or the sixth dungeon in The Legend of Zelda, I’d probably just stare blankly at you for a little while before letting fly an enlightened “…Guh?”  The NES was just barely before my time, I think -- and that was a problem only exaggerated one Christmas morning.

I woke up to have a huge box waiting for me under a tree sitting at the bottom of the staircase.  And after faffing about for a bit, rocking to and fro in the fetal position with a Joker-sized grin on my face while I waited for my parents to wake up and we could do that whole “celebrate Christmas as a family” business, I tore off the wrapping like a wolverine.  And what should I find but a Sega Genesis, bundled with a copy of Sonic the Hedgehog 2?