What’s the Deal with Sonic the Hedgehog?

This is, like, the fourth post on Sonic that I’ve done in the past couple of months.  Does that mean that this is a Sonic blog now?  I hope not.  I’ve still got more bellyaching to do about Squeenix, and my hunger for vengeance shall not be sated.

In the meantime, though, I have to ask.  What’s the deal with Sonic the Hedgehog?  What deal?  Come on.  You know exactly what deal.  The memes; the OCs; the stigma; the scorn thrown the fanbase’s way; there’s so much orbiting around the blue blur that it’s actually overshadowed the character and his franchise at large.  Now that it’s infected the mainline games, there’s no point in even daring to ignore it.  But for the sake of this post -- and my presumably-life-threatening curiosity -- I want to unpack things however I can.

So that’s what I’ll do.  I’ll warn you upfront though: this post won’t be complete without mentioning Sonic Dreams Collection.  If you don’t know what that is…be grateful.  But I’ve been sitting on these thoughts for a while, so we might as well get through them together.

Shower Thoughts with RWBY (Part 2)

So what’s your take on headcanon?

I know that there’s a certain level of futility to it.  After all, I gave Street Fighter V the headcanon treatment before its story mode made the rounds.  There were enough clues to make guesses on where the upcoming A Shadow Falls would go narratively, and so I made those guesses -- about Necalli, about the nature of the Dark Hadou, and more.  Then the actual story came out, and…uh…I don’t want to talk about how wrong I was.

Fans and fandoms are powerful, but they’re nothing in the face of the actual content creators.  That’s probably a good thing in some cases, because A) you have to respect the creative vision of the guys and ladies in charge, and B) giving power to fans who don’t always know better can lead to….well, let’s call it “misfortune” and leave it at that.  The reverse is true, of course; fans can and do create stuff that makes the pros look like amateurs.  But as long as they’re on the bottom rung, they’re doomed to have their best work and razor-sharp skills languish in obscurity.  Why bother with it, then?

Easy.  Because it’s fun.  It’s fun to come up with different takes on a story, especially when it’s something you really care about.  So let’s get ready to have a ball with an alternate, hypothetical take on RWBY and its 4^th volume.  More specifically: let’s start with Yang and work backwards.

Shower Thoughts with RWBY (Part 1)

Oh, I’m sorry.  Did you think it was over?  Did you think we were done?  Nah, son.  It ain’t over till it’s over.  Wind that clock back.

In any case, RWBY.  I put up a post a while back that went into Volume 4, and my less-than-ideal reaction to it.  I don’t think it’s a “season” that breaks the show beyond repair, but I do feel as if it’s the weakest offering yet.  It’s a shame I have to be so negative towards a show I genuinely like, but here we are.  And here I am, specifically.  See, when I was thinking about the post, I had more things planned than just taking a steaming dump all over Rooster Teeth’s 3D anime.  But in typical Voltech fashion, that post ended up reaching the 4000-word mark, and there wasn’t much room for anything else.  Like the positive stuff.

Here’s the thing: I’ve said on multiple occasions, and in multiple posts, that I want to be a writing hero -- a storyteller whose works can put smiles on the faces of others.  It’s a lofty goal, for sure, and one that can only be reached with sufficient amounts of training and skill.  Pumping iron or running laps aren’t what’ll make me a better writer, though; mental effort will.  And to that end, confronting RWBY presents me with a unique opportunity.  If I want to be a great writer, then I need to be able to provide possible alternatives instead of saying “THIS THING SUCKS” and moving on.  How would you fix it?  How would you do better?  And so on, and so forth.

So that’s what I’m going to do…eventually.  But first, there’s a question that’s been on my mind: are the characters in RWBY going to turn into Grimm?

Shower Thoughts with Stardust Crusaders (Part 1)

Here’s an important question right off the bat: what is the difference between the Stands in JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure: Stardust Crusaders and the Personas from Persona 5, 4, 3, 2, and 1?

They’re extremely similar, so I don’t blame anyone for getting confused by the two.  Men and women tap into a mix of psychological and spiritual power to summon crazy-looking warriors to fight on their behalf.  Only a chosen few can manifest them; the rest are lucky to even see them.  Unreal powers are slung around as easily as a softball in a pickup game of catch.  They’ve been the centerpieces of multiple fighting games.  They’ve experienced no shortage of popularity over the years, if not a surge in fan interest.  Honestly, I’d say that at this point, the fact that there’s no dedicated JoJo X Persona game is an affront to every deity imaginable.  Magician’s Red vs. Take-Mikazuchi?  Come on, that’s easy money.

It should go without saying, but I’m a fan of both franchises -- and it just so happens that I’ve been grinding my way through as much JoJo as possible over the past few months.  As a result, I’ve finally done what thousands (if not millions) of fans have done already, and completed Part 3 -- Stardust Crusaders.  And now I can tackle the question for myself.  Not the question of “is this any good”, oh no.  (Though I’ll be doing that anyway at some point.)  No, I think it’s time for me to split hairs on an ultimately inconsequential issue.

I have a theory -- a shaky theory, but a theory nonetheless.  The Personas are what you really are deep down.  The Stands are what you want to be…but fail to be regardless.

Shower Thoughts with Persona 5

So Tokyo Mirage Sessions #FE is finally out.  Say what you will upfront about its choice to dive headfirst into idol culture (or the Japanese entertainment industry at large), but you know what?  Can we just take a minute to appreciate the fact that it even came out at all?  True, it’s not the game anyone expected when a cross between Shin Megami Tensei and Fire Emblem was announced -- and we’ll always be left wondering “what could have been” if the collaboration truly mashed the two together.  On the other hand, this is a game that’s not only trying to say something on its own terms, but also something that -- given its style and content -- could’ve stayed chained up within Japan’s borders.  Let’s count our blessings here.

As of this post -- or this paragraph, specifically -- I haven’t played Tokyo Mirage Sessions just yet.  I will soon, though.  It’s kind of ill-advised, given that I still need to beat Xenoblade Chronicles X, and poor Tales of Zestiria is basically howling at the moon every night.  But I suppose at least a quick look won’t hurt.  Besides, we’re still a ways out from Persona 5; if anything’s going to ease the sting of waiting for THE MOST STYLISH GAME IN HISTORY, then it might as well be Persona Lite.

With that said, I’ve been thinking about Persona 5 a bit recently -- and not just getting swept up by the visuals.  Or at least trying not to.  But again, we’re dealing with THE MOST STYLISH GAME IN HISTORY…which also includes a Kamen Rider girl.  Be still, my heart.

Let’s discuss RWBY (Part 2).

Is it even possible to talk about RWBY without talking about shipping?  I don’t know.  Can you talk about any story without talking about shipping?

I don’t know.  I jumped on the RWBY train so late that I had to solve a Dan Brown-style mystery just to find the station.  There’s a lot of ground I need to cover in terms of the fanbase, but I’m not 100% sure I’m ready to take the plunge.  There was apparently a “Lettergate” controversy recently where a scorned employee tried to slander Rooster Teeth/the production crew, and…well, not a lot of people came out of it clean.  But even without that, there’s still too much to catch up on.  Opinions, theories, reactions, and who knows how many in-jokes; the most I can hope for is to enjoy the fan art that pops up on the subreddit.  Most of it, I’ve found, focuses on the relationships between the characters -- well, give or take.

I’m not complaining about it or saying that it’s wrong.  It’s hard to pretend like RWBY doesn’t lend itself to a shipping bonanza, given that there’s literally a mini-arc that has all the cute boys and cute girls getting together for a school dance.  But still, you’d think that with the sheer preponderance of fan art featuring two characters snuggling up or flirting with each other, the show was actually a romance instead of an action series.  Or…is it a comedy series?  Or…is it a drama?

I might be thinking too hard about this.  Let’s move on to something else.

There’s a point where it SPOILS

There’s a point where it SPOILS

There’s a point where there are lots and lots and lots of SPOILERS in this post

Yeah.  Nailed those lyrics.

Let’s discuss Street Fighter V (Part 2).

So in the last post, it sounded like I was pretty hard on Street Fighter V -- and I hate that it had to come out that way.  I wanted to sing about the game’s praises from dawn till dusk for the next eight months.  But with so many complaints and controversies spiraling around the game -- with more than enough justification -- it’s not like I can bury my head in the sand.  People that are angry have a right to be angry.  Those who are shaking their heads at Capcom have the grounds to do so.  The SFV launch is appreciable for releasing sooner rather than later, but it did so in a less-than-ideal state.

At least, that’s what it says on paper.  But the devs dumped a lot of time and effort into the actual game, and it shows.  I’m not going to say this is the best SF ever, because I’m way out of my depth on that one.  But this is still an amazing SF game, if you ask me.  It’s certainly my favorite Capcom fighter in recent years, since it’s got a lot going for it.  Chief among them, the music.  Survival Mode’s taken some heat, but everything was forgiven when I first heard the Congratulations jingle.

IT’S SO GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD.  But anyway, let’s talk about the actual game.

D.O.X. is Dead #10: Princesses and Layers

So a while back, I went out to grab a new mouse.  Found one, too; it’s pretty sensitive, but its battery life is much higher than my last one, and it’s got a cool design on it.  But I started looking around the store, and wouldn’t you know it?  I spotted a DVD box set of Adventure Time.  Well, probably a DVD set.  Could’ve been Blu-Ray.  I paid more attention to the fact that it was just Jake the Dog in box form.

The important thing is that I paid just enough attention to the box to notice that I would’ve grabbed the complete fifth season of the show -- which is a problem, because I couldn’t even tell you where the first season starts and stops.  So I put it back, in the hopes that one day I would know enough about Adventure Time to dive into any given segment of the canon.  That day has yet to come, unfortunately.  My loss, of course; I wouldn’t mind learning more about Finn, Jake, Ice King, Beemo, Fire Princess, Lemongrab, Marceline the Vampire Queen, and all the rest.  (Also, Cinnamon Bun is god-tier.)

So indulge me for a moment.  Let’s chat about Princess Bubblegum.

Xenoblade Chronicles X: A Double Lariat

Is there anyone reading this that laments the loss of the game’s bust slider?

Just before Xenoblade Chronicles X hit store shelves in the west, there was that controversy over “censorship”, i.e. gamers couldn’t raise or lower the size of their created female characters’ breasts.  The argument, or something like it, was that Nintendo decided that gamers weren’t capable of handling those matters.  Or, if you want to play strawman, they didn’t want to deal with outcries from the “dreaded” SJWs.  It was either that, or they caved into demands as part of an overly-PC culture, even if it meant sacrificing artistic merit.

I think that -- as usual -- there’s no right or wrong answer to this controversy.  On one hand, I can see the issue; as a guy who hopes to write about characters of all shapes and sizes, including the improbably buxom, it’s disheartening to know that I can’t create whatever I want because somebody decided to take certain tools away from me.  And again, it implies that the mere presence of sexuality (such as it is, given that breasts are simply body parts) is the problem, not the context or execution of it.  On the other hand, it’s still possible to define a character by more than just a body type, especially since the potential is definitely there to cause a controversy.  Although given that the default bust size is generous, I wonder if it would make for some little girl avatars that raise a lot of questions.

But enough about that.  Let’s talk about my avatar for the game, Lariat.

Crimson Peak: It Has Ghosts in It

So here’s the question that’s been on my mind for a while, at least since the halfway point of Crimson Peak: is Guillermo del Toro trying to tell us something?

It’s kind of a given that the answer is yes.  Presumably, every piece of art is a look inside the mind of the creator, and there are coded messages hidden within the overall package.  That’s something of an unsettling thought, knowing that the creator’s soul is -- intentionally or not -- inside a story; I’ll probably have a lot of explaining to do if/when my stuff ever makes it out there.  But for now, I have to think about what del Toro’s saying via Crimson Peak.

I’ll be the first to admit that he was never really on my radar until Pacific Rim (the first movie I was consciously aware he spearheaded, and incidentally one I enjoyed a lot).  But in light of his troubles with Konami and Silent Hills, and his other cancelled video game projects, and the uneasy state of Pacific Rim 2, you can’t help but wonder if all of it is taking a toll.  (Though the timetables don't necessarily sync up; games and movies take a LONG time to make, IIRC.)  And then I find out that Crimson Peak lost in the box office to Goosebumps, and after crying enough to have turned into a crusted and powdery husk I just -- I don’t know, I feel like the guy needs a hug.  Anyone could, really, but I feel like he needs one the most.  Like he was born a universe where very few things go his way, and only by receiving enough love can he return to the proper dimension.

It’s okay, Mr. del Toro.  If it makes you feel any better?  I think you made an awesome movie.

Time to do that thing I do where I ruin movies -- which I’ll admit is made possible by virtue of my good friend, SPOILERS.  He spoils everything that happens, and will also steal your wallets and food.  As one would.

Shower Thoughts with Monster Girls (Part 1)

Real talk?  I don’t know if there’s a heaven or a hell, but if there was ever a surefire way to get sent to the latter, it’d be with a post like this.

Let’s discuss Devil May Cry 4 (Part 3 -- FINALE).

Hey, welcome back.  How’s it going?  Boy, do I hate DmC: Devil May Cry.

Welp, that’s a good way to set the mood of this post.

Street Fighter V: Headcanon Edition

Not to play armchair manager, but there’s a part of me that feels like it’s wrong for Daigo “The Beast” Umehara to play anyone but Ryu.  I’m not about to go doubting his skills or anything -- even if he was in a coma, the guy could play Street Fighter better than I ever could -- but you’d think that a guy who put so much into the franchise as well as embodies the tireless wanderer would have found his soul mate.  But in his recent EVO showings, he’s picked guys like Yun and Evil Ryu.  And I’m pretty much left saying “Is this it?  Has Daigo been corrupted by the power of the Dark Hadou?”

Well, it’s not like he’s turned evil in real life (or has he?!), so he’s free to do as he pleases.  But still, the allure of the character is just too great in Street Fighter IV’s latest -- and probably final -- iteration.  His damage output is incredible, he has nearly all of the tools Ryu has (and then some), and it only takes one hit for him to get started, i.e. melt an enemy’s life bar down to zero.  It’s almost poetic that one EVO had Daigo and his Evil Ryu beaten by John Choi and his normal Ryu, but that didn’t stop The Beast from sticking with the Dark Hadou.

So now I have to wonder: once Street Fighter IV gets phased out and the sequel gains traction, what does that mean for what’s ostensibly the most heinous power in the canon?  Frankly, I’m hoping for a lot.

Street Fighter V (Oh, and EVO Too)

It’s worth noting upfront that this post was written in advance of EVO 2015, AKA the latest installment of one of the biggest fighting game tournaments in the world.  It’s kind of a shame, because it’d be cool to report on a couple of the blow-by-blow matches, or revel in the hype that’s sure to transpire (anybody remember the Garireo vs. Dogura grand finals in BlazBlue?  I sure do).  On the other hand, this post is more about Street Fighter V than it is about EVO, so it evens out.

I’m also working under the assumption that there’ll be a new character announced there at some point, so this might be outdated mere minutes after it goes live.  So hey, maybe we’ll find out who that guy at the end of Ken’s reveal trailer was supposed to be.  On that note?  Seriously, guys?  You look at that him and say, “Oh, that’s E. Honda” or “Yeah, Akuma’s back” when he’s got almost nothing in common between them?  Come on.  Let’s at least try to use a little reason, yes?

But enough of that.  Let’s get right to it.

Let’s discuss Splatoon (Part 2).

So I have a theory that everyone in Splatoon is secretly a cannibal.

Okay, maybe not everyone -- because I have my doubts that shopkeepers like Sheldon and Crusty Sean could even take a good bite out of someone.  But you’ve seen the Inklings by now, right?  Every time they open their mouths, they show off some seriously sharp chompers.  TV personalities Callie and Marie casually talk about eating seafood, and both of them wear sushi-style hats.  Chalk this up to headcanon, but are we 100% sure that Inklings that lose an Ink Battle aren’t eaten alive as punishment?

Maybe death just has no meaning for these undersea people (who live on the surface for some reason).  They reincarnate endlessly during an Ink Battle, after all.  But it may go further than that; lose a battle and go back to the lobby, and you’re a different color than when you started -- so maybe the losing Inkling got devoured, and you start playing as a substitute.  Or if you win and go back to the lobby, you play as an Inkling who dug your original Inkling’s fresh styles, and adopted his/her outfit to pay tribute (and try to look cool).  That’s probably not the case, but hey.  It gets the gears going.

In some ways, that might be what makes Splatoon secretly great -- because even in the absence of an hours-long narrative, I can’t help but feel excited by the game’s world.    Learning more about it?  That’d be preeeeeeeeeeeeeeeetty coooooooooooooooooool.

Let’s discuss Splatoon (Part 1).

Really?  Are you actually reading this?  Like, you’re seriously ready to read a post on Splatoon?

You know I could pretty much say #GoodGuyNintendo and end things right here, right?  Is there anything more that needs to be said?  Is there?

*sigh* All right, let’s do this.

Season’s Wii-tings II: Donkey Kong Country: Tropical Freeze

Previously on Cross-Up…

“Sometimes I wonder if I’m a hypocrite.  And then I remember that I am, so I go about my business.  But then I remember that I brought up that point for the sake of a blog post, so I guess I’d better go into detail.”

Okay.  So in the last post, I mentioned that I tend to have a bad reaction whenever the Game Grumps go back to the NES/SNES well -- playing 2D platformers and such on an extremely regular basis.  It’s true that they can get a lot out of them comedy-wise that I appreciate, but then I remember how much fun it was for me (and the Grumps, I bet) for Dan to experience Shadow of the Colossus for the first time.  I suppose there’s always Steam Train -- or failing that, the Best Friends Zaibatsu -- to offer up something fresh, but it still leaves me wary.

Except when they play something like Donkey Kong Country Returns: Tropical Freeze.  I wanted to stand up and cheer when they started a playthrough on that…which is ass-backwards, considering that it’s pretty much just a 2D platformer that just happens to look amazing.  So that pretty much means I’m a hypocrite, right?  Like, I just want the Grumps to play the games I like, and what I want to see?  That’s the impression I’m getting, unfair as it may be to some of the funniest guys online.

In my defense?  There’s a reason why I want them, and everyone, to play Tropical Freeze.

D.O.X. is Dead #7: Scope and Heart

These three things happened last time on D.O.X. is Dead!  (With the proper music, of course.)

Firstly, two dangerously-deadly rival characters are revealed -- the rough-necked punk, Coil, and the bruising beauty, Kath! 

Secondly, the story’s revamped concepts take the stage, with the idea of power discussed furiously at length!

And thirdly, two MORE characters of the core cast of eight make their debut -- the king of normalcy, Johnny, and the queen-sized wallflower Maddie!

And that’s about it for the recap.  So let’s get into the post proper.  First things first, though:

Count the words!  The number of words appearing in this post is…!

Man, Kamen Rider OOO is just too good.  I seriously need to do a post on it one day.

Season's Wii-tings II: Super Smash Bros. for Wii U

I have to be honest: I don’t really care for the title.

I get it, of course.  There’s a Smash game out for the Wii U, and there’s a Smash game out for the 3DS.  How do you set them apart?  Say as much in the title!  But man, isn’t that name such a downgrade?  We had Melee, and then we had Brawl, and now we get…for Wii U?  Why not Showdown?  Or Riot?  Or -- well, I guess those are all the good ones.  But the point stands.

That’s pretty much all I’ve got in terms of complaints.  I could nitpick, I guess -- and I probably will -- but other than that?  Look, I seriously don’t think I need to tell anyone reading this that this is a good game.  If you have it, you know that already.  If you don’t have it, then you’ve probably heard as much by this point -- and I’d argue that you should buy it, especially if you have a Wii U. Generally speaking, just going over some of the ins and outs of the game would make this post completely pointless.

So let’s do something different.  Let’s start with a question: why this game?

Season’s Wii-tings II: Pikmin 3

So I saw part of Gravity the other day, and I have to say, I wasn’t really feeling it.  Granted I was trying to put something together, and my dogs were being so wild that I eventually gave up on watching the movie in peace, but I went in expecting it to grab me from the get-go and it didn’t.  That’s not to say that it’s bad or anything.  It just wasn’t for me.  I couldn’t get into the characters, and it felt as if the movie could have (and should have) ended as soon as they spiraled into space.  Weirdly, that’s a sentiment mirrored elsewhere -- and I have to wonder how far off the mark I am when most of the praise thrown its way comes from the visuals.  Because clearly, the only thing that matters is how good something looks.  Thanks, video games!

Maybe I’ll give the movie another shot when I can give it my full attention, but there is one thing I took away from it: SPACE IS AWESOME.  There may still be plenty of mysteries left here on Earth, but the stars are the premiere source of adventure in both fiction and real life.  Anything could be out there, but the one surefire thing is the potential for exploration.  Space can scratch that itch, and take us to whole new places.  Admittedly, that adventure is only possible with some hyper-rigorous training and skill in real life (a sobering truth for six-year-old Voltech), but games can compensate easily.

Which brings us to Pikmin 3 -- the game you should have played already if you love games.  And/or space.