Who’s the Sexiest Character in Gaming?

Not to start this post off with a controversial opinion, but I have to be honest: I think underboob is the worst thing ever.

It’s fine if other people like it, of course.  But for me?  It actively makes anything it’s attached to demonstrably worse.  I remember when BlazBlue was first bumping around and it revealed squirrel girl Makoto in her school uniform -- pretty OK, more or less.  But then when her combat form was revealed for her stint in Continuum Shift -- notably, as one of the very first DLC-specific fighters -- she showed off no shortage of underboob.  And I thought, “I’m done with this character.”

It just strikes me as trashy -- and tryhard, while we’re at it.  It’s an unnatural attempt to get a rise out of others, with means that are entirely unnecessary.  Like, we can all agree that breasts of any kind are fine on their own, right?  Why go out of your way to highlight them in such an awkward way?  Or is it just a means to show that the woman in question doesn’t know how to wear clothes?  Either way, I think it’s the worst.  I’m pretty biased, though, thanks to that one time on the night of a full moon.

But let’s not dwell on it.  Let’s talk about sexy characters instead.

Hijacked by Politics.

If you’ve been keeping up with this blog for even a few weeks, you may be well aware that I try to focus on fiction.  Games, movies, TV shows, stuff like that -- the stories that circulate throughout our world, what’s good about them, what’s bad, and the general concepts worth taking away.  I’ll be the first to admit that there’s a pretty strong lean towards gaming, though -- whether it’s putting the industry under the microscope, or taking shots at Final Fantasy again (which I’ve found attracts readers faster than a mound of poop the size of a rhino attracts flies).  But you don’t even need to be a longtime reader to know what I do.  Just look at the header.  Look at the layout.  Cripes, the titles for all of the sidebar widgets are references to Street Fighter.

So it’s not like I have either interest or experience in talking about real-world stuff via this blog.  I know where my expertise lies, and it’s not with politics.  But just this once, I’m going to make an exception -- a “break glass in case of emergency” sort of post.  If you’ve been keeping up with the news -- or more specifically, the fight to claim the White House for the next four years -- then you know what’s up.  If you don’t?  Maybe I’m being ignorant here, but…is it just me, or does this presidential race sound like something that’d make for a pretty striking (if bizarre) story?

I guess it’s like they say (the back half of which is now a major motion picture): truth is stranger than fiction.

Are Japanese Games Just Plain Better?

(Alternate post title: Time to Throw a Molotov Cocktail at a Gas Station Covered in Dry Grass and Fireworks)

This should be a given, but I’m going to ask that anyone who’s stumbled upon this post should hold off on leaving a comment until AFTER they’ve finished reading the post in full.  Okay?  Okay.  In exchange, I’m going to undercut the post, the title, and myself by giving a straight answer: nooooooooooooooooo.  The land of the rising sun has released plenty of terrible games in the past, and it’ll always have the potential to do so.  By the same token, the west will always be able to put out some of the best titles the world’s ever known -- especially with the rise of indie gaming.  It’s not a black-and-white case, and it never will be.  A good game is a good game, no matter where it’s from.

So why the post?  Why the incendiary title?  Well, I’ve been thinking (as I always do); I’ve been thinking about the games I play, and the industry as a whole.  On top of that, I’ve taken note of my preferences -- and since I try to think critically about why games work (or don’t), I’ve been trying to figure out why I have the opinions and preferences that I do.  Contrary to popular belief, there’s a reason behind my actions.  They’re not always good actions -- and popular opinions even less often -- but I think I may have figured something out.

So How Good is Tomb Raider, Really?

Hey, anybody remember PlayStation All-Stars: Battle Royale?  Anybody?

A lot of discussions have been had on the game’s roster, which is completely fair.  Not all of the choices made in/for that game were what I’d call good, and the lack of some key faces is proof of that.  Chief among them?  I’m pretty sure there were some people calling for Lara Croft (with Crash Bandicoot and Spyro the Dragon pretty much locked away in Activision’s dungeon), but were passionately denied the chance.  Why?  Who knows?  I mean, I’m not an expert on the franchise, but I thought that Tomb Raider was a mainstay of the PlayStation family until semi-recently.  Granted I’m guessing some installments and ports made it to the PC, but even if Lara’s jumped to other consoles, it’s a moot point when she would’ve shared a game with a Big Daddy and Isaac Clarke.

Anyway, Tomb Raider.  Thanks to the 2013 reboot and the recent game, the name’s seen a lot of traction.  Like plenty of properties these days, what’s old is new again; there’s a new Lara Croft and not one, but two brand new adventures, with a whole new style and the horsepower to make each new game the most extensive to date.  That’s not to undermine the successes and legacy of the earlier games, of course, but it’s a safe bet that the new stuff -- spearheaded by Crystal Dynamics -- is here to stay.

But is that a good thing?  Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…

It’s Super Dynamic Controversy Time!

Oh wait, what am I saying?  It’s always Super Dynamic Controversy Time.  I’m just taking time out to highlight it because -- well, why not?

Obviously, I’m prone to thinking about video games, and thinking hard about them.  I want the medium to evolve and reach its full potential, even if the journey to that ideal form is rough and sluggish.  Certain mindsets and practices aren’t helping, though; big businesses aren’t always the most eager to explore the art forms, but it’s not as if we can blame the suits for all of gaming’s ills.  Problems exist on, and are exacerbated by, people on every rung of the ladder.  The sooner everyone understands that, the better off we’ll all be.  Self-reflection, open-mindedness, et cetera, et cetera.

I’ll come back to that later on.  But for now, let’s talk about Metal Gear and gigantic asses.  Given sneaking suits of games past, those two are far from mutually exclusive.

Shower Thoughts with Monster Girls (Part 1)

Real talk?  I don’t know if there’s a heaven or a hell, but if there was ever a surefire way to get sent to the latter, it’d be with a post like this.

Frozen: The Princess Snide

Not too long ago, I was about to take my dogs out when I noticed my brother was watching a movie in another room.  Which movie?  Big Hero 6, as it turns out.  I don’t know if he had started watching it from the beginning or if he happened to spot it on TV mid-run, but I at least got a glimpse of Hiro and Baymax doing good guy stuff.  Or on the way to do good guy stuff.  Well, they did something, and that’s what counts.

Anyway, I went into the room to talk to him about it.  He didn’t say much about the quality, and I didn’t press him; he just wondered why Baymax was so fat.  “More to love,” I said.  And then, after a brief pause, I said with a smile “I saw Frozen the other day.”

His reaction was three times faster than the speed of light.  He groaned loudly and asked, “What are you, a six-year-old girl?”  I tried to make a case for the movie.  His response: “Fine, so it’s for six-to-ten-year-old girls.”  Needless to say, we didn’t exactly have a gripping and in-depth discussion on the film’s merits.  Granted I could have (and probably should have) argued more, but obstinacy is a forte both of us share.  Also, I didn’t want to clean up any dog pee.

So let’s unpack this for a minute -- by which I mean “time to have another talk about female characters and representation in fiction.”  I’m as excited as you are.

Anime Was (Probably Not) a Mistake

It’s worth noting right of the bat that the whole “anime was a mistake” meme was based on a misattribution of a Hayao Miyazaki quote/interview, so it’s not as if the whole medium is being condemned by the most notable and credible geniuses in the field.  Well, not directly, at least.  Except when they kind of are.  But not really!  But sort of?

Well, let’s cut right to the heart of the matter.  No, anime was not a mistake.  I know it’s easy to be down on anything and everything these days and seek solace in the past, but even if anime has its problems these days, it’s not as if the medium is worthless.  Or, if you prefer, DOOOOOOOOOOOMED.

That all said?  MAN, are there some serious issues.  So let’s talk about them -- by which I mean it’s time to vent my frustration over the severe lack of little brothers.  Seriously, anime.  Why only little sisters?

Mortal Kombat X: A Very Special Post

Full disclosure: I’m pretty sure I’m on record -- maybe even here on this blog -- saying something along the lines of “I hate Mortal Kombat” or “I’ve never like Mortal Kombat”.  So yeah, I can’t exactly claim that I’m fair and unbiased here; that said, the latest Mortal Kombat installment is out, I played it, and…yeah, it’s all right.  Neither its story nor its gameplay are mind-blowing, but it’s still serviceable.  And I’d bet that it IS mind-blowing for the true fans.  I’ll try and get a post uploaded explaining my thoughts, but only after I’ve spent more time with it.

Until then, there’s other stuff worth talking about.    Stuff that I really don’t want to wait to get into, seeing as how it’s been fresh on my mind, and it’s a pretty important subject.  For those unaware: MKX’s story mode brings us newcomer Kung Jin, who was recently confirmed to be the canon’s first gay character.  In typical internet fashion, it caused quite a stir, with harsh words thrown from both sides.

So.  Assuming that I have the tact for it, what do you say we have a little discussion on it?

So How Do You “Idealize” Female Characters?

So March is apparently Women’s History Month.  Let’s capitalize on that…with yet another ill-advised discussion on gender politics in video games!  Rejoice, sort of!  Or, alternatively, despair!

There was an article on The Escapist a while ago that discussed the controversy surrounding a cover for a Spider-Woman comic.  Put simply, the art is what you’d call “buttnomenal”.  With the emphasis on the butt.  It’s not exactly what I’d call the greatest art I’ve ever seen, but then again my comic book collection couldn’t even fill a shoebox.  All I know is that I can respect the apparently-famous artist, but the art itself isn’t exactly something I can get behind.  Apologies for the pun.

In any case, the article got me thinking.  It actually mirrored a sentiment brought up by (the great) Jim Sterling once upon a time: the portrayal of both genders kind of sucks in video games.  But the key idea is that there’s a difference: men in games -- and fiction in general, a lot of times -- tend to be idealized.  And of course, women (sometimes literally) tend to be objectified.  There’s a difference.

Revenge is Boring

Yep.  Taking a hard stance on this one -- because I’m convinced that contrary to popular belief, it’s not a dish best served cold.  Or at all.  But let me back up a little.

My friend and I both gave my brother trouble over Middle-Earth: Shadows of Mordor because it just looked like a knockoff Assassin’s Creed.  Licensed game garbage, and little else.  But considering the majority of the reviews and reactions, it looks like the two of us were wrong -- and if nothing else, my bro’s been having a hell of a time with it.  So yeah, I guess I can’t help but offer up my blessing to those that enjoy it, and the game itself.  To an extent.

I’ll concede that the gameplay and the Nemesis system are (apparently) amazing, but there’s more to it than that.  The question that was on my mind for a while was “All right, so how’s the story?”  And the answer I’ve gotten, more or less, is “awful”.  You play as some guy whose wife and child get killed, and he strikes out with newfound ghost powers to exact his revenge on those that wronged him, leaving a trail of bodies in hizzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…

The Importance of Being Twintailed

Forgive me, readers, for I have sinned.

Are Video Games Actually Hurting Us?

So I started watching Kamen Rider Gaim.

I said as much on Twitter, but it bears repeating: Gaim strikes me as what happens when a man watches the movie version of West Side Story, and takes it WAY too seriously -- and upon realizing that the streets of New York aren’t filled with gang battles won via elaborate dance moves, proceeded to have a nervous breakdown. 

The show starts in one place, and becomes something completely different barely a quarter of the way in.  Without giving away any spoilers, let’s just say that head writer Gen Urobuchi has evidently been playing a lot of Devil Survivor…and unfortunately, happened to watch huge swaths of the abysmal anime adaption.

That -- much like the majority of this post -- is pretty depressing.  So you might want to have your favorite comedic video or song uploaded.  

(Should your search fail, Gaim will provide.)  

So How Good is The Dark Knight Trilogy, Really?

Oh, WOW.  This is going to make me a popular guy.  Or a Cool Guy.  Whichever comes first.

ShootStravaganza!! Destiny (The Beta)

This should go without saying, but you should never take anything I say too seriously.

Holding up someone’s words and opinions as gospel is pretty dangerous, because A) it prevents you from thinking for yourself, B) it hands over a lot of power to some nigh-unseen force, and C) it would imply that the deliverer of gospel is flawless.  They’re not.  And I’m not.  I try to be as fair as I can, and look past my biases.  If I can’t -- which is often, I’d bet -- then I’ll at least try my hardest to support my reasoning…even if that reasoning is just a way to justify shutting my eyes and covering my ears. 

I just thought I’d make all that clear up-front, because this is actually the second post on Destiny that I’ve done.  Granted the first was focused more on the business side of the equation, the dangerous precedent at play, and the potential threat to the gaming canon vis a vis another big push toward mediocrity, but…uh…I don’t have a positive way to end this sentence.  So I’ll just go ahead and say that Destiny was, at the time, innocent until proven guilty.  Until gamers in droves -- myself included -- got to try the game, making any snap judgments would’ve made anyone who slammed the game look like a fool.

But that’s fine.  Because now that the beta is over and done, I get to slam the game all I want.

…I told you I was biased.

Dawn of the Planet of the Apes: A Post-World Primer

The first thing I noticed about Dawn of the Planet of the Apes is that its opening sequence is eerily identical to the opening sequence of The Last of Us.

If you know how I feel about that game, then you know that it didn’t exactly get me hyped for the hours to come.  I mean, it’s like I was playing through it all over again.  Reports and news broadcasts over mostly-black graphics; talk of a spreading disease/virus/world-ending thingamajig; the info growing progressively direr as time goes on; the last broadcast effectively signaling the end of the world; it’s all there.  I pretty much went “Oh, great.  It’s one of these stories.”  It wasn’t, thankfully, but the fear was still there at the outset. 

In all honesty, it feels like a lot of the time I get too ahead of myself.  Like, I’m pretty sure there have been posts where I’ve said that certain models -- certain storytelling conceits and frameworks -- are “broken”, and need to take at least a break from the public consciousness.  Even then, I’m certain that my…distaste for “gritty” stories is well-documented.  So once again, let me make one thing clear: I don’t hate dark or gritty stories because they’re dark.  I hate them (and not even all of them) if/when they betray their central premises and quality just to give the people what they think they want.  And speaking in terms of stuff like The Last of Us and AMC’s The Walking Dead, the post-apocalypse is something that needs a lot more work and attention than it’s gotten…yet those two “bastions” haven’t delivered.  At least to me.

But this latest Apes movie has.  And now I’ll show you why.

As you can guess, there are going to be plenty of spoilers for Dawn, The Walking Dead, The Last of Us, and probably more.  So get ready for that hotness.

Also, as a side note: I tried the Destiny beta.  You can PROBABLY guess how I feel about that.  Post incoming (maybe), but in the meantime?  Just watch this and substitute “Transformers” with “Destiny”, “Michael Bay” with “Activision”, and “robots” with “guns”.  Well, just to start.

So How Good is The Hunger Games, Really?

Oh, this is gonna make me popular.

Not too long ago, there was an episode of The Simpsons that took a few jabs at The Hunger Games -- in typical fashion, highlighting some of the franchise’s…shall we say, conceits while simultaneously being eerily honest.  For a guy like me with no real attachment to the tales of Katniss Everdeen and the rest of the Monster Buster Club (that’s what they’re called, right?), it was just the sort of thing I could laugh at and shrug off.  For others?  I wonder if it was something like an affront to all of the deities.

It came at just about the right time, though.  I’ve been thinking about The Hunger Games more than I should, for one reason or another.  It probably has something to do with web series like CinemaSins and Honest Trailers laying into them in their own distinct yet biting (but always hilarious) ways.  Sure, those two manage to succeed precisely because they play up faults and nitpicking, but sometimes the line between joke and complaint starts to blur.  And there’s no doubt that even more jokes will flare up, given that the last book is not only getting split into two movies, but the first of them, Mockingjay: Part 1 is due out fairly soon.  Ergo, this post.

So I think it’s time I open the floor for some input.  Though preferably, not arrows to the skull.

So What’s the Deal with Sexy Characters? (Part 2)

I need to watch more Seinfeld.

I’ve been thinking about doing a post on BlazBlue: Chrono Phantasma over the past couple of weeks, but given that I’ve had material gathering dust for ages, I figured I should get that stuff out there first.  So until then, I want to bring it into the discussion of sexy characters -- however briefly.  Again.

CP is the first BB installment I’ve played since the original Continuum Shift from years ago -- and the new installment offers up a chance for me to start fresh and learn to play more characters with some competence besides “easy mode” Ragna.  I’ve long since started maining Hakumen --the sickest character -- but I can’t help but think back to one night when I was on the character select screen for the trials.  I spotted Litchi’s picture nestled in the corner, and I thought to myself, “Hey, why not?”

Well, I can think of one reason: because she’s a sexy character, and if you play a sexy character, you’re clearly a terrible person who deserves to get kicked in the junk, right?  And by default she’s awful and sexist, and her creators are awful and sexist and deserve a million kicks to the junk.  At least if a subsection of the internet is to be believed.

Strawman?  Never heard of it.  Is that some kind of scarecrow superhero?

So What’s the Deal with Sexy Characters? (Part 1)

I hope you read that title with your best Jerry Seinfeld impression.

This was originally supposed to be one of those short, open-ended question posts I’ve started doing, but this is a topic that I want to dig into to make my case.  So it’s a good idea to strap in early.  Of course, like any given post, there’s nothing stopping you from weighing in with a comment once all’s typed and done.  It’ll just take a bit longer to get down to the bottom of the page.  Okay?  Okay.

I’ve mentioned this before, but it seems like nothing has really been gained when it comes to the discussion on the depiction of women in games…and media in general, but I see the most conflict pop up in games.  The whole Zero Suit Samus/high heel debacle brought the debate up again.  Just as it did with the Sorceress/Amazon designs of Dragon’s Crown.  To say nothing of intermittent arguments, like when there’s an article on Senran Kagura, or Dead or Alive, or whatever.  It almost feels like there’s moral outrage just because some designs pop up…and then there IS moral outrage when you get articles like this.

I’m not going to say that article wasn’t purposefully rabble-rousing to generate traffic…but I am going to think it.  

Ruminations on the Big N’s Blondes

Hey guys!  Want to see me whack a beehive with a hockey stick?  Then let me ask you a question: how do you feel about Zero Suit Samus’ new design?

I’m going to come right out and say it: I think it’s all right.  The high heels are an interesting addition, and one that I wouldn’t have made, but hey.  It’s there, and it’s just a tweak to a character that’s already pretty cool.  But I think the best part of the redesign is ZSS’s face, and head in general; HD graphics have served her well, and believe it or not that’s the part of her I keep zeroing in on.  Now, if only the rest of the internet could do the same, we’d be set.

Then again, it seems like these days there’s always something to rally behind -- some trivial, others…not so much.  Given that I buried my face in my hands and shook my head when I heard that there’s going to be a movie reboot of Power Rangers by the dark forces behind movies like Twilight, The Hunger Games, and Divergent, I’m probably no better than anyone else out there.

Though in my defense…really, Hollywood?  Really?