Her Name is Rio…Wait, No it Isn’t

Well, it’s been a while since I’ve done any ranting and rambling about my writing stuff.  I mean, given how many times I’ve griped about the works of others, it’s only natural that I invite scorn upon my meager, feeble soul by pulling the curtain back on what I’ve been working on.  The central premise, on some level, has always been “test myself by testing others”, but doing the reverse is more than valuable.

Ideally, this blog wouldn’t be the platform to do it.  Here’s the thing, though: there were, at one point, plans to hop on TV Tropes’ forums (for the first time in a while) and try and court feedback there.  As a character-focused writer angling for praise from a character-focused society, it would’ve served me well to have others weigh in on the leading lady I’ve been cooking up for the past ten months.  Thing is, there was a problem: I didn’t know her name.

I’ve failed you, Duran Duran…the Funko Pops of which are seeing a surge in popularity, for some reason.

Does Square-Enix Hate Women? -- ACT II

I don’t know what’s worse -- the fact that this is the second time I’ve thought to write this post, or the fact that (thanks to Final Fantasy 7, of all things) I feel like I understand the Squeenix collective’s method to their madness.  

Send help regardless.

All right, in order to write this post, I’m going to have to be pretty freakin’ cavalier with spoilers on multiple Final Fantasy games, and several Kingdom Hearts games as well -- including KHIII.  Then again, all of those games but one are at least a few years old by now, sooooooooooooooooooooo…you’ll live.  Probably.  

Big Girls Don’t Cry (Maybe, LOL)

I’m going to take a shot in the dark and assume that that is certainly not the case.  I pretty much have to, since I’m working under the assumption that even the biggest of big girls is still a human being and thus capable of a vast emotional range, as well as reasonably impacted by stimuli of all kinds throughout her life.  But I am an optimist, so who knows?  It’d probably help if I’d actually seen the movie Big Girls Don’t Cry and didn’t just want to use it as a cheeky, pun-based lead-in to the topic du jour.

So enough dawdling.  Let me say this to start: why aren’t there more giant protagonists in fiction?

Also, let me say this to…uh, continue: apparently I referenced the movie even though there are at least three different songs with the same title.  

Why was I born a cultural dunce?

So, About Captain Marvel…

Yes, I am very much aware of the controversy surrounding Captain Marvel.  Here’s my one-sentence take on it.  Ready?

*deep breath*

Brie Larson had the right intentions but the wrong words, which made it easy for detractors -- many of which who probably need to avoid seeing myriad statements across the media sphere as personal attacks -- to infer said words have malice, disdain, or otherwise-unsavory agendas behind them…which is kind of hard to believe, given that as a mass-media product from a multibillion-dollar company, nothing would make the purse-holding overlords happier than to have as many people buy tickets as possible, itself made possible by dedicated diehards who have even a mild chance to play the role of “influencer”.

*second deep breath*

There, I acknowledged it.  Now to pretend for .00000000001 seconds that it’s going to matter in the long run, and not just get forgotten in the wake of the next flash in the pan “controversy”.  Because apparently we as a species have forgotten the art of peaceable, nuanced discourse.  I blame Halo, because…well, I need a funny-enough scapegoat to segue into actually talking about the movie.  So here’s some rambling about Captain Marvel.

You’re gonna feel this!  Power SPOILERS!

A Good Case for Bad Heroines (Gundam Edition)

Don’t be fooled by the title.  Even though SNK Heroines: Tag Team Frenzy just came out (as of writing), this isn’t a post on that.  How could it be?  Until it adds King -- sans sketchy costumes or her clear discomfort -- the product is fundamentally flawed at best, with a strong lean toward “worthless”.

Believe it or not, this doesn’t have to do with video games.  Well, not entirely.  I’m sure I’ll find a way to shoehorn a few into the discussion at some point, because I’m me and need to spend some time in a strait jacket.  No, the real spark for this post was…video games, technically, but another catalyst intervened.  And I’ll say upfront that the fact that it’s even the spark in the first place makes my soul ache.

So.  Let’s talk about Gundam Build Divers.

Do it for Her, or Whatever -- ACT II

Hey, how’s it going?  Let’s talk about female characters again -- up to and including female character designs.

Let’s get to it.  Right after I whack this beehive with a hockey stick, slap a bear across the face, give that police officer over there a wedgie, and then bathe in gasoline so I can justify carrying this lit match around.

Things might get a little dicey, is what I’m trying to say here.  Leave your sensibilities at the door.

Do it for Her, or Whatever -- ACT I

Alternate post title: Do it for Her, Even if it’s the Stupidest Thing Ever

How to Save Dead or Alive 6 (Maybe, LOL)

I don’t think there was ever any doubt that we would get Dead or Alive 6; the question was when.  Things looked grim for a while, considering that Koei Tecmo/Team Ninja dropped future support/updates for Dead or Alive 5, and at the time there were no outspoken plans for a sequel.  Then when the E3 Eternal Engine fired up, right before the deluge of info we got confirmation of the franchise’s upcoming successor -- and a trailer to boot.

Probably the most interesting news to come out of it is a certain effort that the devs are making this time around.  According to interviews with execs, the idea is to tone down the sexuality that the franchise has long since become famous for.  Highlights include toned-down jiggle physics, a new sense of realism to make fights more convincing, and the decision to not force everyone to look great at all times.  This time around, they’re going to make sure that “first and foremost, they are fighters”.

So my first thought here is “Haven’t we done this before?”  The answer is yes.  And it didn’t work out.  My second thought here is “All right, how are they going to fix this?  Preemptively?”

Re: Danganronpa V3: Killing Harmony

Hey, you.  Yes, you.  You, reading this sentence right now.  Stop.  Shut up.  Listen.

This post is going to contain spoilers for Danganronpa V3: Killing Harmony.  Everything up to the first class trial -- and a little beyond that -- is up for discussion.  On top of that?  This post is going to contain spoilers for Danganronpa in general, so that anything and everything from the first game, second game, and Ultra Despair Girls can and will be mentioned casually.  (Not the anime, though, because I haven’t seen it…yet.)  Also, do me a solid: don’t go into anything after, during, or before the second trial, i.e. who becomes the next victim and/or who’s the killer.  We’re all struggling against spoilers together.

Okay?  Okay.  So let’s --

NO, I’M SERIOUS.  STOP IF YOU DON’T WANT TO BE SPOILED ON ANYTHING.

Okay.  So let’s talk about this game for real now.  It'll be a hoot.

Persona 5: Waifus all Night (FINALE)

I just love how this series’ title has taken on a whole new meaning with the reveal of two new dancing spinoffs for the Persona franchise.  On that note?  Hard to believe that there are two instead of just one, but I’m down for it.  Seeing the Phantom Thieves bust a move put a smile on my face, especially when Ryuji and Ann dropped in to pop and lock.

Oh, by the way, Ann’s my Persona 5 waifu.  That was obvious weeks ago, but you know.  Might as well make it official, eh?  Let’s discuss why -- WITH ULTIMATE SPOILERS.  But first…

Persona 5: Waifus All Night (Part 3)

Okay, I know this post and the last two are about Persona 5’s waifus (those in the main party, at least), but can we take some time out to talk about the potential husbandos?  Or the bros, alternatively?

I’m not debating or downplaying the quality of the ladies in this game.  But given the choice, I’d go with Ryuji above all others without flinching.  If there was a very specific, character-driven alternate ending or string of extra scTales of Symphonia -- and the only way to get them was to get closer to one of your comrades, then I’d shove all of the other waifus out of the way for the chance to pal around with Loud Kiddington.  Ryuji’s my bro, no contest…except it’s still kind of a contest given guys like Yusuke “Lobsters” Kitamura, Sojiro, Mishima, Yoshida, and the rest.

enes -- a la

So on that note?  I’ll go ahead and parrot a sentiment that’s been floating around for a while: give me romance options for the boys/men, whether that involves making a female protagonist or not.  (I’d assume it wouldn’t because of the drain on resources a FeMC would be.)  I don’t want to keep my bros at arm’s length, or treated as the loser option because I didn’t pine after a waifu.  I want to hang out with the characters I think are coolest, regardless of gender.  Chances are high that others feel the same way, or they just flat-out want that romance option because it suits them best.  In which case?  Atlus, don’t let us down next time.  You’re pretty much our only hope in a world where Final Fantasy can barely scrape to the level of mediocrity.

But enough about that.  Let’s get back in the waifu game…with ALL THE SPOILERS.

Persona 5: Waifus All Night (Part 2)

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And now back to our regularly scheduled programming -- featuring Persona 5 waifus.  AND SPOILERS.

Are Video Game Characters Just Functions?

Real talk: I saw this header (sans my edits) on Destructoid a few days ago, and I thought to myself, “AHAHAHAHA!  Oh God, I HAVE to use this in a post somehow!”  I’m so glad I was able to -- although I lament not being able to work in some birds for scale.  In any case?  Peter “Combofiend” Rosas?  If you and/or the rest of the Capcom crew are reading this, then bless your hearts.

So I might as well start this post off right.  It looks like it’s that time again, everyone: now I get to talk about improbably buxom fictional women.

Top 10(ish) Cool Video Game Ladies -- ACT II

Okay, so quick show of hands: who here thinks that the gaming industry has improved recently?

I know it may seem otherwise with every other post I write, but I’m glad to argue that there’s been progress.  Indie titles are doing the lord’s work, as usual.  Some of the biggest releases of the last year or two have tried to push the envelope in various ways.  There’s innovation to be truly excited about; would you ever have guessed that Nintendo, of all companies, would release an online multiplayer shooter and instantly have it become a success?

Yes, things are better than they were.  But of course, they could be even better.  There’s still a lot of work that needs to be done on multiple fronts, with the treatment (or even usage) of female characters well among them.  We want a better future, and people are trying to get there however they can.  That’s true even if some days it seems like “progress” is made while seemingly wearing a suit of armor during a triathlon.

But in order to see where we’re going, we have to know where we’ve been.  So it’s time to do something I’ve never, ever done before…except for the last time I did it.

On Characters as Commodities

*sigh*

I’m not mad, anime.  I’m just…disappointed.

On the Mysterious Waif (and Friends)

Against my better judgment, I decided to try and play Star Ocean: Integrity and Faithlessness again.

*sigh*

…Didn’t go well, guys.  Didn’t go well.

Who’s the Sexiest Character in Gaming?

Not to start this post off with a controversial opinion, but I have to be honest: I think underboob is the worst thing ever.

It’s fine if other people like it, of course.  But for me?  It actively makes anything it’s attached to demonstrably worse.  I remember when BlazBlue was first bumping around and it revealed squirrel girl Makoto in her school uniform -- pretty OK, more or less.  But then when her combat form was revealed for her stint in Continuum Shift -- notably, as one of the very first DLC-specific fighters -- she showed off no shortage of underboob.  And I thought, “I’m done with this character.”

It just strikes me as trashy -- and tryhard, while we’re at it.  It’s an unnatural attempt to get a rise out of others, with means that are entirely unnecessary.  Like, we can all agree that breasts of any kind are fine on their own, right?  Why go out of your way to highlight them in such an awkward way?  Or is it just a means to show that the woman in question doesn’t know how to wear clothes?  Either way, I think it’s the worst.  I’m pretty biased, though, thanks to that one time on the night of a full moon.

But let’s not dwell on it.  Let’s talk about sexy characters instead.

Shower Thoughts with Frozen and Star Wars

Okay, quick question to start things off: are the Star Wars prequel movies still canon?

Well, a cursory Google search -- and requisite findings -- suggests that they are.  Apparently, it was only the Expanded Universe that got booted into the Sarlacc pit; I can’t say that I was a diehard consumer of that fiction, but I can understand why anyone would get unthinkably salty at the thought of it.  How many good stories in there suddenly lose their impact because executives from on high decreed “lol, nope”?  Granted those stories still exist, so the sting is lessened; on the other hand, the fact that the beloved prequels are still in place can’t have gone over well with some.

I know it’s a little late to ask this, because the deal’s long since been sealed.  But I’ve been thinking about it, because Rogue One had its trailer drop.  I was in no rush to watch it, but I managed to get over my apathy and give it a look -- and honestly, I think it looks fairly interesting.  Plenty of potential, for sure, so I’m hoping it goes well.  Granted there’s a dark part of me that wonders why there needs to be a prequel movie about taking down the Death Star (and to a lesser extent its origins) when we all know it gets summarily REKT in the canon on three separate occasions, but whatever.  That sure is a movie they’ve got on the way.

With that in mind, I’m WAY more interested in Frozen 2.  For…some reason.

On Overwatch and a Call for Elegance

This would normally be the part where I launch into a paragraphs-long tangent only slightly related to the topic at hand, but I think I’d better get straight to the point.  I’m taking a hardline stance on this and saying what I’ve had in mind for years now: video games need more elegance.  Or, if not that, then video games need more elegant characters.  Or just elegance in general.

I’ve got no problems admitting Overwatch is the catalyst for this post.  Really, it’s my sincere hope that it’s the catalyst for changes throughout the industry as well as the gamer zeitgeist; it’s one thing to beg and plead for change in posts and articles and videos, but it’s another thing entirely to have it subtly suggested by the media we consume.  That is to say, Overwatch isn’t directly asking for diversity in games.  It’s just doing its best to prove how freakin’ cool it is when you have a cast that mixes it up.  Given the choice (and the resources), it’s always best to offer more options and means of expression.  That way, everyone can be happy.

And you know who makes me happy in this game?  Mercy.  Because she’s literally the best.

Let’s discuss RWBY (Part 2).

Is it even possible to talk about RWBY without talking about shipping?  I don’t know.  Can you talk about any story without talking about shipping?

I don’t know.  I jumped on the RWBY train so late that I had to solve a Dan Brown-style mystery just to find the station.  There’s a lot of ground I need to cover in terms of the fanbase, but I’m not 100% sure I’m ready to take the plunge.  There was apparently a “Lettergate” controversy recently where a scorned employee tried to slander Rooster Teeth/the production crew, and…well, not a lot of people came out of it clean.  But even without that, there’s still too much to catch up on.  Opinions, theories, reactions, and who knows how many in-jokes; the most I can hope for is to enjoy the fan art that pops up on the subreddit.  Most of it, I’ve found, focuses on the relationships between the characters -- well, give or take.

I’m not complaining about it or saying that it’s wrong.  It’s hard to pretend like RWBY doesn’t lend itself to a shipping bonanza, given that there’s literally a mini-arc that has all the cute boys and cute girls getting together for a school dance.  But still, you’d think that with the sheer preponderance of fan art featuring two characters snuggling up or flirting with each other, the show was actually a romance instead of an action series.  Or…is it a comedy series?  Or…is it a drama?

I might be thinking too hard about this.  Let’s move on to something else.

There’s a point where it SPOILS

There’s a point where it SPOILS

There’s a point where there are lots and lots and lots of SPOILERS in this post

Yeah.  Nailed those lyrics.