So, About Captain Marvel…

Yes, I am very much aware of the controversy surrounding Captain Marvel.  Here’s my one-sentence take on it.  Ready?

*deep breath*

Brie Larson had the right intentions but the wrong words, which made it easy for detractors -- many of which who probably need to avoid seeing myriad statements across the media sphere as personal attacks -- to infer said words have malice, disdain, or otherwise-unsavory agendas behind them…which is kind of hard to believe, given that as a mass-media product from a multibillion-dollar company, nothing would make the purse-holding overlords happier than to have as many people buy tickets as possible, itself made possible by dedicated diehards who have even a mild chance to play the role of “influencer”.

*second deep breath*

There, I acknowledged it.  Now to pretend for .00000000001 seconds that it’s going to matter in the long run, and not just get forgotten in the wake of the next flash in the pan “controversy”.  Because apparently we as a species have forgotten the art of peaceable, nuanced discourse.  I blame Halo, because…well, I need a funny-enough scapegoat to segue into actually talking about the movie.  So here’s some rambling about Captain Marvel.

You’re gonna feel this!  Power SPOILERS!

(I miss this game.  I mean, not enough to play it, but still.)

Going off of the rant (?) above, it’s not hard for me to pinpoint the worst part about Captain Marvel.  Not the movie itself, per se -- I’ll get to it in a minute, I promise -- but it’s the fact that there are a lot of expectations, hopes, and weight pinned on this one character and debut film.  Finally, a female character in the leading role of a superhero movie!  How refreshing and necessary for modern society…just…just don’t look at that movie over there.  Also, please disregard this one, that one, and that one in particular.  The immediate comparison is going to be between Captain Marvel and Wonder Woman; the latter is appreciated by many as the DCEU’s best film to date, so I’d argue that the MCU had to hit it out of the park.  Or else.

The “or else” is a nightmare scenario I can’t help but envision: a society spinning in place, with peoples near and far barking at each other over whether Carol Danvers is a good character or a bad character.  Is she well-written?  Is she hackneyed and generic?  Is she a “strong female character”?  Is she a role model to girls everywhere?  Is she nothing more than feminist propaganda?  Is she just the product of a corporate agenda?  Is she this?  Is she that?  Is she here, is she there, is she everywhere?  Blah blah blah blah blah.

There’s an argument to be made that female characters -- or, hell, women in general -- face more scrutiny than their male counterparts.  I won’t deny it.  How could I, given the reactions and debates orbiting around Rey from the new Star Wars movies?  Expectations need to be met, certainly, but the problem compounds because of those pesky things like opinions and free will.  Different people have different reactions to different characters -- but those reactions are multiplied because of (to put it bluntly, and maybe unintentionally offensively) what people want out of their female characters.

There is no way to make Captain Marvel objectively good.  Yes, there are ways to push the needle in the right direction -- this is where writing savvy, technique, and general quality come into play -- but because we don’t exist in a globe-spanning colonial hive mind, we’re all going to have different takeaways from what we’re presented with.  I saw the movie with my brother, and despite the two of us sharing blood, there’s no way our opinions sync up 100%.  So there are two points worth considering here.  First off: obviously, I can only speak for myself.  And second: sometimes, you can’t criticize something for what it isn’t.

Given that seemingly-endless preamble…yeah.  I like Captain Marvel.  

Yep.

Yep.

Yep.

…Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut…

Let’s take it from the top.  No, I’m not going to go over the whole movie, because -- based on its box office performance -- you already know pretty firmly what happens.  If you don’t know?  Our heroine’s a space cop, goes up against shapeshifting criminals, mission goes awry and she gets dropped on Earth in the 90s, and now she has to thwart the bad aliens’ plan before they get their hands on some secret tech.  Along the way, memories resurface, memories are reclaimed, alliances are tested, et cetera, et cetera.  Also along the way: digitally de-aged Samuel L. Jackson, who very nearly steals the show.

But this movie’s titled Captain Marvel, and it shows.  I’d heard some reviews beforehand that implied she was the weakest part, which is a death knell for any story, let alone a Marvel movie.  Elsewhere (long beforehand), I was led to believe that in a handful of comics/stories, Captain Marvel ranges from “fine” to “the worst human, for realsies”.  Basically, it was up to this movie to convince us why we should like her, and not just because she could boot Thanos’ ass into the next galaxy.

My takeaway isn’t what you’d expect.  See, I kind of like Captain Marvel not because she’s a hero or a paragon of virtue.  She kind of comes off as a psycho, and I’m sorta into that.

In a decidedly non-sexual way.

Although I will admit, Brie Larson in 90s-era apparel -- even just down to a t-shirt and jeans -- gave me a feeling so complicated.  Then again, my thing for blondes has probably been documented by now.

Carol -- as her hero persona, or as Kree operative Vers, pronounced “veers” -- wants to prove herself.  She’s driven, focused, and jumps at the chance to show she’s tough enough to beat the bad guys and/or complete the mission.  Fair enough.  But pretty much from minute one, she shows how hotheaded and headstrong she can be.  And is.  It takes a hell of an effort just to get her to follow protocol, which she’ll fight (alongside her orders) if she thinks it’ll get the job done her way.  For glory, I guess; she’s kind of like pre-character development, first-movie Thor, in a way.

Her teacher wants her to control her emotions, but as soon as she has a chance to lash out at the Skrulls that have captured her, she gets shockingly emotional; at best, you could say she’s wielding her white-hot rage like a brand.  She not only punches the crap out of their jolly green jaws -- despite wearing shackles for most of the sequence -- but roars at one like some kind of rabid animal.  And once she busts out the energy beams?  She nearly sucks herself into the vacuum of space because she didn’t think going all guns hands blazing could possibly rupture the hull of a ship.  Whoopsie-doodle.

And then she lands on Earth.  Again, she’s like Thor (if Thor’s first movie outing eventually turned into Space Pulp Fiction) in the sense that she’s a fish out of water with literal out-of-this-world norms.  Except unlike Thor, from the outset she’s intensely motivated by her mission, and gives a fat middle finger to 90s society.  There is NO ATTEMPT to practice subtlety or grace; she just blasts, smashes, and steals whatever she needs to, no matter how many dirty looks she gets.  Not to mention that, if keeping her identity a secret was a priority, then she pretty much gave the Prime Directive a Fatality.

She gets better, sort of.  The trick is that Carol the Kree operative is under the influence of memory wiping/brainwashing, and she’s a human who just so happens to have the energy from an experimental engine stored inside her body (thus making her an asset to be seized and conditioned).  As time passes, her memories start resurfacing and she regains her humanity, bit by bit.  Not that she didn’t have it at the start, but my interpretation is that remembering how to be a hoo-mun made her relax a little.  Laugh and smile naturally.  Enjoy the company of others, be they old friends or new comrades.

I’d like to think -- however erroneously -- that the Kree conditioning worked better than Carol would care to admit.  The “good guys” are out to stomp the Skrulls, so it’s only natural for their mission to be programmed into their superhuman starlet.  So my interpretation is that whenever she’s either bug-eye crazy or terminator-chic, it’s because she’s only doing what she was taught to do.  She’s at war with herself, and until a certain point in the movie, she doesn’t even realize it -- so, naturally, she starts cracking and breaking down in tears when she realizes who she really is, right down to metaphorically having to say goodbye to one home in exchange for another.

I’d say that the most interesting thing I got out of Captain Marvel was that -- based on my interpretation, at least -- she was kind of a loser.  Her memories feature her failing multiple times at multiple disciplines, from baseball to go-karting all the way up to air force training.  Does that mean Carol’s drive to prove herself comes from spite?  From a need to overcome her perceived sense of weakness, even if (thanks to her buried memories) they’re only hazy clouds instead of ironclad documentations?  

Regardless, it does put her in an interesting light.  My favorite part of the movie, no matter how simple it may be, is seeing Captain Marvel stand up once more (in order to resist the taunts and temptations of a portable Supreme Intelligence/lotus eater machine).  Having relived her failures through the power of a montage, we see that her true strength doesn’t come from being able to win at whatever she does; it comes from having the courage to stand up even after losing and getting shamed.  Granted the reward for that is for her to gain true true strength by tapping the energy inside her to go Super Saiyan Binary, but it’s the thought that counts.

Given all of that?  Yeah.  Others may disagree, but I like Captain Marvel as a character.  I just wish there was more to say about her actual movie, though.

Let me be blunt: I don’t think Captain Marvel is a bad movie.  It’s solid.  It’s more than sufficient.  I got my action licks, and my comedy, and my heart (let’s hope that Maria and Monica didn’t get sent to the Thanos Dust Bowl).  But it’s a hard movie to talk about, because there’s not much I feel like there is to talk about.  Well, there is -- for good or ill, this might be an MCU entry worth discussing in terms of its artistic merit and execution -- but it didn’t leave me buzzing like other movies have done before.

My issue?  It’s lacking that certain something.  An X-factor.  A wow moment.  A certain je ne sais quoi.  That element that makes one Marvel movie different from another -- SHUT UP YES THEY ARE DIFFERENT DON’T PLAY THAT GAME -- and elevates them enough to justify breaking box office records yet again.  There’s a part of me that wonders if Captain Marvel has done as well as it has because it’s riding on the coattails of Infinity War and Endgame.  Or, alternatively, because “Look our movies have gurlz too”.  That’s not a good position to be in.

It kind of feels like the movie has the CliffsNotes versions of other MCU films and elements.  There’s an attempt at reincorporating Doctor Strange’s trippy visuals at one point.  There’s an attempt at reincorporating the period-specific vibe of Guardians of the Galaxy (and the whole space thing).  There’s an attempt at reincorporating the sympathetic villain (?) dynamic from Black Panther.  There’s an attempt at reincorporating the perspective-flipping twist from Spider-Man: Homecoming.  Effort was put in, but not enough to make this one stand out as the one to beat, for any given reason.

On one hand, you could say that the MCU might be running into trouble because it’s playing against itself.  Captain Marvel isn’t as funny as Guardians or Thor: Ragnarok, isn’t as action-packed as Civil War, isn’t as touching as Black Panther…the list goes on, and the key saving grace is that even a fine or simply okay Marvel movie is a cut above most of what Hollywood tries to pump out.  (Anybody run to the theaters to see Skyscraper?  Anybody?)  On the other hand, taking the movie’s own “merits” into account doesn’t do it any favors.

Turns out that the Skrulls are the good guys and the Kree are the bad guys, meaning Carol’s been their enforcer from the outset -- and she has to switch sides to do what’s right.  Soooooooooooo…basically, it’s the plot of Haze?

The ol’ switcheroo didn’t leave much of an impression on me.  The script (eventually) says the Skrulls are good guys by virtue of them being refugees just out to find the tech that can help them efficiently traverse the stars for their kin and a new home.  Fair enough, but the camera codes them in such a way that suggests they’re all wild cretins, save for their smooth-talking leader.  And the Kree Carol work with seem more like a squad in Call of Duty or something -- until it’s time for them to not be, and thus switch their roles to Villain.

For me, the biggest disappointment was that the villain (the real one) came and went without much fanfare.  Like, he’s fine overall -- his attempted lack of emotion and love of protocol makes him a decent counterpoint to Carol -- but after the spread of heavy hitters we’ve gotten recently, it’s like the MCU’s fallen back on old, terrible habits.  It really doesn’t say good things when A) I had trouble during the movie remembering his name, B) I only remember the back half of his name now without a Google search, and C) I feel like talking about him any longer, right down to his name, is a waste.

I can’t say that I’m disappointed in Captain Marvel, or that it’s bad, or anything strikingly negative about it.  There’s some enjoyable stuff in there, and I don’t regret taking time out to plop into a theater seat.  With that said, this is a dangerous position to be in.  MCU fatigue is as much a part of the cultural zeitgeist as the MCU itself, and having entries that are simply “solid” won’t help the studio’s case.  Not every movie is going to be an all-out banger, but they all need to hit hard if they’re going to outrun the threat of the public turning against the universe.

For all its good points, Captain Marvel…doesn’t really hit that hard.  There’s more of a forceful push.  While it can’t possibly signal the downturn of the MCU -- literally the next entry on the list is the culmination of 10+ years of long-form cinematic storytelling -- it’s still dipping its toe into some poison- and syringe-laced water.  We’re destined to get more of these for a while yet, so I hope that future movies will follow the trail blazed by stronger MCU entries.  Not this one.

That’s pretty much all there is to it.  Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to make sure my dogs can’t shoot lashing tentacles out of their faces.