Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2: Under Your Nose (Part 1)

So by the sound of things, the Wonder Woman movie is actually pretty good.  Really good, even.

When I first checked Rotten Tomatoes, the movie was hovering at around 97% on the Tomatometer -- a number so high that it would’ve made me do a spit take if I had anything in my mouth.  Granted that was an early glimpse; I’d imagine that it’ll take time for all of the reviews to reach some semblance of a consensus (and let’s not forget the droves of reviews from critics and bloggers all around who aren’t part of the club).  But for now?  Yeah.  I’m reassured.  I’m happy that it seems like the DC Extended Universe has something worthwhile to its name now, after three back-to-back misfires.  And I’m glad that they seemingly succeeded with the one character they absolutely, positively had to get right.

Does that mean that the DCEU is finally in the race against Marvel now?  I don’t know.  Maybe.  It’s not hard to imagine that Wonder Woman is a fluke, given Justice League looming large like a black obelisk arisen from the accursed depths.  Even though Zack Snyder has stepped away from the movie and the DCEU for personal (but totally understandable and regrettable) reasons, it’s worth noting that he didn’t control and craft it alone.  Suicide Squad says hi, after all.  There’s still time for the executives from on high to screw everything up -- namely, their chances of taking on the MCU.  We’ll see what happens, though.

Wait, isn’t this supposed to be a post on Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2?  Yeah, but what else is there to say besides it’s funny, it’s good, and go watch it?  There might not be anything more to scrape up -- but I’m sure as hell gonna try.

LOG TRAP!  BOULDER TRAP!  SHRAPNEL TRAP!  SPOILER TRAP!

NOW LET’S…ROCK AND ROLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!  (With spoilers.)

On Power Rangers and Mega-Consequences

All right, we’re a little over a week away from the release of a brand new Power Rangers movie (and in the midst of a Twitch streaming marathon), so I figure this is as good a time as any to launch into a tangentially-related discussion about it.  But before I do anything else: Lost Galaxy has the best theme song of the entire franchise.  Yeah, I said it.  Come at me.  Fight me 1v1.

At this stage, it’s impossible to know for sure whether Lionsgate’s soon-to-drop film is good or not.  We can all make guesses based on the evidence presented -- trailers, interviews, and so on -- but there are only two ways to confirm its quality (or lack thereof): take in as many reviews as possible, or see it in the flesh.  I’d imagine that there’s a decent number of people who are already crying tears of blood over what’s been shown off so far -- I’ve almost hacked up a lung on a couple of occasions -- but you know what they say.  Innocent until proven guilty.  It’s a shame that proving innocence or guilt requires a time/money investment that might prove physically or spiritually painful; still, that’s the way it goes.

In any case, Power Rangers has gotten me thinking.  It pretty much had to; as your friendly neighborhood tokusatsu fan, 48% of my brainpower is devoted to visualizing OTT transformation poses.  So let’s get to it.

What if AAA Games Were Less Violent?

Confession time: up until a few days before its release, I didn’t know very much about No Man’s Sky.  From what I can gather, I wasn’t the only one; the narrative being spun around it is that the sheer vagueness of what you could do -- to the point where posts and articles had to be uploaded explaining the game -- made for a game that let you do pretty much everything.  I didn’t need that much from it, because the idea of going on a sick space adventure is something that personally appeals to me.  I did want to be an astronaut when I was seven, after all, and that burning desire to see space hasn’t left just yet.

But my desire to see space from the perspective of No Man’s Sky is -- well, it’s diminished.  I’m sure it’s all right, and that it’ll be updated into greatness somewhere down the line.  Likewise, I’m so glad it exists as a potential first step, and I hope some real good comes from it in the future.  But when I see clips like this one floating around, it’s hard for me to get too excited.  And then I remember that I’ve still got infinity hours left to parse through in Xenoblade Chronicles X, the content of which is still providing me with stuff I never even knew I wanted.  (Whenever “Uncontrollable” has its chorus go full tilt, my whole body basically goes “das it mane”.)

Still, No Man’s Sky has gotten me thinking about what games can be.  Of course, it hasn’t accomplished that alone.  I have Uncharted 4: A Thief’s End to “thank” as well.

Star Wars: The Force Awakens: Unleashed: Revelations: Revengeance

So the other day, I had an epiphany.  Well, maybe not a pure epiphany, but at least the sudden insight needed to ask a certain question: “Do I actually hate Star Wars?”

It seems implausible, at a glance.  My understanding of Star Wars, even beyond its unshakable place in culture and history, is that it’s storytelling pared down to its most simple and effective form.  (That’s not so true of the prequels, I hear, but everybody would rather ignore those, so I will too for now).  So by that logic, hating Star Wars means hating the fundamentals -- if not the very concept -- of fiction.  That’s kind of a problem for a guy who’s trying to become a purveyor of fiction in his own right.  Obviously, I’m not that far off the deep end.

But I haven’t cared about Star Wars for a long time, if at all.  I know what’s in the movies, because -- cultural osmosis outside -- I’ve seen each of them once or twice.  And I’ve never had any real problems with them, even in the face of things like the Plinkett reviews.  They were just kind of…there.  I’m basically like, “Oh, Han Solo?  Yeah, he’s all right.”  And then I move on.  It’s not as if I’ve never been moved to tears by a fictional character, but even if the seven movies (to date) have their strong points, I can’t share the enthusiasm of others.  I’ll just shrug and say “Yeah, it’s all right.”  And then I’ll move on.

That’s the case with The Force Awakens, as well.  And I’ll explain why (with full spoilers) in a bit.

RE: Star Wars: The Force Awakens

First things first: Ryan and/or Rory, if you’re reading this, then this isn’t the ten-thousand-word post you’re looking for.  But it’s something for now -- with a Star Wars reference to boot -- and the real post will go up this coming Thursday.  Assuming that all goes well and there’s no major catastrophe, but you get the idea.

Just as well, though.  I’m sure that not everyone’s gotten a chance to go out and see the movie for themselves (as of this post), so the smart thing to do is to wait until a little time has passed.  Not only that, but it’s a good idea to let the movie sink in.  I personally prefer having time to digest a movie before talking about it in full, and in a lot of ways that’s preferable to spewing a bunch of words before everything settles in.  With that said, I’ll make a slight exception this time around.  Because A) I feel like I’ve done more than enough digesting at this point, and B) I might as well take part in this cultural event and do what everyone else is probably doing.  Because relevance.  Or peer pressure.  Or self-righteous vindication.  Take your pick.

So, this post is NOT a review.  It will NOT have spoilers (i.e. anything beyond what’s been in trailers and widely-released info online).  Granted some stuff might allude to events that happen, but I’ll try to keep things vague.  This post is more of a reaction, full of my opinions, thoughts, and biases -- as is my standard.  You know, in case anyone out there ever thought they should take me seriously.

 Ready?  HERE WE GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

So How Good is Star Trek, Really?

Does it make me more of a nerd to admit that I think Star Trek is really cool?  Or does it make me less of a nerd because I’m only just now admitting that in writing?

I guess I should start by saying that in this case, I’m talking specifically about Star Trek: The Next Generation, because I happened to catch a few episodes of those recently.  But I’m not opposed to any of the others.  Quite the opposite; when I was a little baby Voltech I used to drift off to sleep thanks to the lulling tones of reruns for TNG, Deep Space Nine, and Voyager.  (Not Enterprise, though -- I don’t remember there being any reruns, at least none that threw themselves at me.)  Most of the show’s dialogue was lost on me, naturally, but these days?  If and when I catch reruns of TNG, I find myself pulling a Shulk and going “I’m really feeling it!”

In all honesty, though, I’m still a greenhorn when it comes to the franchise.  So what do you say we unpack this for a bit?  I’m sure it won’t be that hard, seeing as how it’s already off to a strong start.  As if you needed a reminder that SPACE IS AWESOME.

What’s The Deal With Chosen Ones?

Well, I was planning on tossing up a different post, but this one’s going to have to take precedence.  Blame Hollywood.

Now then.  If you’ve followed this blog for long enough, you may know that I have…expressed my distaste for Final Fantasy 13-2 (i.e. I consider it the worst game I’ve ever played).  That distaste stands strong today, but there’s been a nasty side effect: since then, I’ve been iffy about any story that features time travel.  More specifically, if a story features some space-time shenanigans, then I’m hoping that it’s used to great effect.  Based on what I’ve seen semi-recently, my hopes have been dashed.  It’s to the point where I waited for good news on Project Almanac -- though apparently, I was a fool for putting stock in a Platinum Dunes production.

Still, there was one other movie I was interested in, and as such checked Rotten Tomatoes much more frequently than I usually do.  Said movie?  Jupiter Ascending.  Because as you know, SPACE IS AWESOME…but even the awesomeness of space is hard to swallow based on the info surrounding the movie.  I remember looking up info and plot details, and upon reading up on how Mila Kunis plays some prophesized queen of the galaxy or whatever, my heart sank so fast that it’s shacking up with mole-men.  Even then, I figured that the movie would be good enough.  It’s not the first story to feature a chosen one, and it won’t be the last.  As long as the execution is high enough, then --

It pretty much started at 35% on Rotten Tomatoes.  Oooooooooooof.

Interstellar: For the Love of TARS

Is Smash Bros. 4 out yet?  No?

*sigh* 

All right, let’s do this.

Do not go gentle into that good SPOILERS

Old age should SPOIL and SPOIL at close of SPOILERS

SPOIL, SPOIL against the -- wait, didn’t the Bum Review do the same thing?

*sigh* I just wanna play Smash…

Season’s Wii-tings II: Pikmin 3

So I saw part of Gravity the other day, and I have to say, I wasn’t really feeling it.  Granted I was trying to put something together, and my dogs were being so wild that I eventually gave up on watching the movie in peace, but I went in expecting it to grab me from the get-go and it didn’t.  That’s not to say that it’s bad or anything.  It just wasn’t for me.  I couldn’t get into the characters, and it felt as if the movie could have (and should have) ended as soon as they spiraled into space.  Weirdly, that’s a sentiment mirrored elsewhere -- and I have to wonder how far off the mark I am when most of the praise thrown its way comes from the visuals.  Because clearly, the only thing that matters is how good something looks.  Thanks, video games!

Maybe I’ll give the movie another shot when I can give it my full attention, but there is one thing I took away from it: SPACE IS AWESOME.  There may still be plenty of mysteries left here on Earth, but the stars are the premiere source of adventure in both fiction and real life.  Anything could be out there, but the one surefire thing is the potential for exploration.  Space can scratch that itch, and take us to whole new places.  Admittedly, that adventure is only possible with some hyper-rigorous training and skill in real life (a sobering truth for six-year-old Voltech), but games can compensate easily.

Which brings us to Pikmin 3 -- the game you should have played already if you love games.  And/or space.