D.O.X. is Dead #10: Princesses and Layers

So a while back, I went out to grab a new mouse.  Found one, too; it’s pretty sensitive, but its battery life is much higher than my last one, and it’s got a cool design on it.  But I started looking around the store, and wouldn’t you know it?  I spotted a DVD box set of Adventure Time.  Well, probably a DVD set.  Could’ve been Blu-Ray.  I paid more attention to the fact that it was just Jake the Dog in box form.

The important thing is that I paid just enough attention to the box to notice that I would’ve grabbed the complete fifth season of the show -- which is a problem, because I couldn’t even tell you where the first season starts and stops.  So I put it back, in the hopes that one day I would know enough about Adventure Time to dive into any given segment of the canon.  That day has yet to come, unfortunately.  My loss, of course; I wouldn’t mind learning more about Finn, Jake, Ice King, Beemo, Fire Princess, Lemongrab, Marceline the Vampire Queen, and all the rest.  (Also, Cinnamon Bun is god-tier.)

So indulge me for a moment.  Let’s chat about Princess Bubblegum.

D.O.X. is Dead #9: Coolness and Drive

Wait.  Who is writing this?

Such a lust for page views…WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO?

Oh, wait.  It’s me.  I’m writing this -- post #666, as it so happens.  So let’s make it special, shall we?

The World’s Spookiest Post?

I’d imagine that with Halloween right around the corner, people are flooding the internet with skeletons, ghosts, zombies, vampires, werewolves, jack-o-lanterns, and other nightmarish ephemera (even though it’s plainly obvious that there’s nothing scarier than the creatures lurking in the ocean).  This would be the part where I play into that -- or more appropriately, do a post about something super-spooky.  A scary game, for one.  But I just did a hefty post on Crimson Peak, and it kind of feels like I’d be double-dipping.

So I asked myself, “What would be the scariest thing I could offer up to anyone who stumbles upon this post?”  And the answer to that is simple: art by someone who has no business trying to do art.  Because there’s nothing scarier than someone without talent shoving his lack of talent in people’s faces!

Mediocrity, ooooooooOOOOOoooOOOOoooooooooo!  How chilling!

D.O.X. is Dead #8: Avatars and Magic

Let me tell you a little secret: I don’t always know the difference between a good idea and a bad one.

This blog may make me look like a smart guy who has all the answers [citation needed], but that’s hardly true of me.  Just think about it: would a guy who has all the answers feel the need to completely invalidate years of work on a hunch bred from second-guesses and crippling insecurities?  Common knowledge suggests not.  So let it be known that I’m no ace.  I stumble just like everyone else -- maybe more than average.  And I’m hoping that even if I become some writing tour de force, I won’t become so blinded by power that I’ll reject all criticism.  (Consider that a license to punch me in the stomach for anyone who one day sees me as no better than Michael Bay.)

I want to do my best -- and more -- for the sake of others.  I want my stories to entertain people, and make them happy.  And I want to be good enough to make that happen.

Which begs the question: why do I keep doing dumb things?

D.O.X. is Dead #7: Scope and Heart

These three things happened last time on D.O.X. is Dead!  (With the proper music, of course.)

Firstly, two dangerously-deadly rival characters are revealed -- the rough-necked punk, Coil, and the bruising beauty, Kath! 

Secondly, the story’s revamped concepts take the stage, with the idea of power discussed furiously at length!

And thirdly, two MORE characters of the core cast of eight make their debut -- the king of normalcy, Johnny, and the queen-sized wallflower Maddie!

And that’s about it for the recap.  So let’s get into the post proper.  First things first, though:

Count the words!  The number of words appearing in this post is…!

Man, Kamen Rider OOO is just too good.  I seriously need to do a post on it one day.

D.O.X. is Dead #6: Humans and Monsters

Hey, does anybody remember that anime D. Gray Man? 

To be honest, I’m kind of surprised I do.  I mean, I used to watch it, but it ended up slipping off my radar for one reason or another.  It probably had something to do with its creator taking ill, which led to the manga going on hiatus, which of course led to the anime getting stalled into oblivion well before the story’s conclusion.  It’s kind of a shame, because thinking back, I enjoyed the show.  I suspect that I have a secret appreciation for stories with a twinge of the macabre – at least if my enjoyment of that show, Bleach, and Soul Eater are anything to go by.  (Though it’s my understanding that Bleach fell apart a while ago, so who knows if I’m still a “true” fan.)

The reason I bring up D. Gray Man is because I recently realized that I started getting into it right around the time I started my story.  I wouldn’t exactly call it an influence by any means, but having looked at some old files, I realized that one of my characters was – or used to be – heavily based on one of that series’ characters.  Not in terms of skill sets, of course.  In terms of appearance?  No doubt.  You know me – striking visual design is something I value.  It can be (emphasis on “can”) the first step toward making a good character.

And “striking” is probably the exact word I’d use for one of these characters.  Or, alternatively, “absurd”.

Watch Dogs, Revised

I would ask “what’s wrong with Ubisoft”, but that would imply that A) there was nothing wrong with them to begin with, and B) that their problems were all that different -- i.e. inlaid -- with the triple-A industry at large.

I almost feel bad about piling on the hate.  I mean, I’m pretty sure that by now you all know how I feel about Watch Dogs, and that’s a strike against the company if there ever was one.  And plenty of others have felt a similar sting, what with THE “first step into the next generation of gaming” being more like a drunken shamble across an oiled-up floor covered in marbles. 

That’s bad enough in its own right, but then people discover that the PC version has what’s effectively a switch to change the game back into its E3 super-mega-graphics mode because…hey, it’s not like people have ever poked around game data before, right?  And beyond that, there’s still the whole fiasco where nobody knows what’s going on with Ubi, the newest Assassin’s Creed, and its refusal to portray women in games.  (I’m staying out of the conversation, but I will say that “adding female characters” should have been part of the plan the SECOND they said “Okay, let’s start the new game”.)

But I’m not here to rail on Ubisoft, because people have done that elsewhere, and done it better.  This is Cross-Up, and as long as the subject isn’t Final Fantasy 13, it’s a happy place.  So let’s keep it that way.

Let’s do something constructive.  But first…

D.O.X. is Dead #3: Cities and Madness

Okay.  Let’s talk very briefly about Kamen Rider.

I’ve been hoping that some day in the future I could talk at length about the individual installments I’ve seen -- not only because there’s a lot to love, but there’s a lot to learn (even from Wizard, which is supposed to be much-maligned, but for the life of me I can’t understand why).  For now, I want to bring attention to W; it’s one of the more popular installments, and I can see why.  Said reason is independent of the fact that the titular Rider is composed of two detectives’ minds in one body fighting simultaneously…though that doesn’t hurt.

Anyway, one advantage that W has over the installments I’ve seen is that its setting, Futo, has a much bigger presence in the show than the others.  To be fair I don’t know much about where the shows are filmed (in Japan, derp de doo), but W goes out of its way to give Futo a character of its own.  It’s “the windy city”, as named in the opening theme, and it’s full of pinwheels, windmills, and wind-themed accessories.  The heroes and villains alike concern themselves deeply with it, and want to protect it, or enhance it, or even transform it (using what is effectively a drug that turns people into monsters -- contained in mystic USB drives!).  The people of the city have a special relationship with it, even if they have to acknowledge its faults.  You should expect no less, given that one of the main themes -- in terms of writing and in music -- is “Nobody’s Perfect”. 

W wouldn’t be what it is without Futo.  And if I want to even begin to rival it, I have to do the same.

D.O.X. is Dead #2: Leads and Partners

Old habits die hard.

This post was originally going to be focused on one character and one character only.  And with good reason; I’m pretty sure I’ve drilled a certain phrase into this blog over and over again, and I don’t see much reason to repeat itMAINCHARACTERDEFINESASTORYagain.  It should go without saying, then, that the MC of D.O.X. was one of the major defining factors of the story.  He owned it.  He shaped it.  He changed it.  And while the story started with him being bored one day in class, the story -- wrapping up over the span of three days, sans epilogue -- ended with him punching the canine embodiment of the apocalypse in the face.  Said canine, by the way, would have been big enough to its mouth stretch from one end of the horizon to another.  Character development’s a hell of a thing.

I’m not so bold as to claim that the MC is absolutely perfect, but each new version of the story helps said MC get closer and closer to the ideal form.  I’ve done what I’ve can, and then I did even more.  But the thing that I’ve realized is that he was never D.O.X.’s problem.  Never.   The problem, without question, came from virtually everyone else.  And by extension, there was one major issue that I’ve fixed with this third and final version -- but the fact that I only recently made such a fix means that certain “trends” are a lot more heavily-engraved than anyone would care to admit.  Anyone can fall prey to them.  Even me.

So let me say this to start: D.O.X. had a pretty good MC.  The problem was that it needed two.

How to Make a Good Dead or Alive Movie

I find it rather interesting that my post How to Make a Good Street Fighter Movie has consistently been the most popular post on this blog for months now.  Kind of odd, considering that (I assume) only two people read it when I first posted it on Destructoid.  I’m guessing that has to do with everything I touch turning into a novella, which is admittedly a problem I need to address sooner rather than later.

In spite of that, I’m going to do the exact opposite right now.  Let’s see if lightning can strike twice, and I can propose a satisfying -- if hypothetical -- Dead or Alive movie.

Fair warning, though: there’ll probably be improbably buxom women in this post.  I know how much of a deal-breaker that is, so I thought I’d be responsible and tell you early.

Kingdom Hearts: Eraqus, This is Your Story

I’m a little wary about watching Birth by Sleep to its conclusion.

It’s on my to-do list, but it just feels like BBS is sliding farther and farther down that list.  I started watching Aqua’s story a while back, but I haven’t found the drive to see it through to the end (and of course, the same applies for the final story/ending).  Really, what do I have to look forward to?  Aqua faffing about in Disney dimensions for eighty percent of her story, only to have about ten percent of it actually matter?  And for what?  A final showdown featuring more cryptic, sequel-begging dialogue?  More abuse of The Big Four Words of the series (light, darkness, hearts, friends)?  Setup for the rest of the franchise that’s ultimately inconsequential? 

I view BBS as a story that, at the end of the day, didn’t need to be told.  It’s like if someone wrote a book about the origin of the guy who made Abraham Lincoln’s hat -- sure, it’s interesting, but does it really change anything?  Hell no.  I’d rather read a book about Abraham Lincoln, because he’s the one doing all the legwork as one of the presidents (figuratively speaking, of course).  I don’t want to read about the emotional turmoil of a hat-maker -- doubly so if said turmoil comes from one character that’s nigh-inconsequential, and another character that doesn’t know his foot from a bottle of sarsaparilla. 

But I’ve been thinking about the game for a while.  I’ve been thinking about why the game intrigued me in the first place.  I can tell you right now it wasn’t Ven, and certainly not Terra; I placed a fair portion of my hope in Aqua, as per my gut instincts.  But there was another character that caught my eye, and even got me to like him by virtue of his potential high-level-badassery. 

And it’s at this point I have to wonder: why wasn’t this game about Master Eraqus?

LOOK HOW BADASS HE IS!  LOOK AT HIM!