Avengers: Endgame: Last Train Home

Okay, Marvel Studios.  You can stop now.

There are going to be as many Avengers: Endgame spoilers as I can think of following the jump, so watch out.  Then again, I assume that if you breathe, you’ve already seen the movie, sooooooooooooo…jump away.

I mean jump toward the post.  That way.  Like, thataway.

Blindsided by Spider-Man

Well, it was either this, or another post on politics.  And nobody cares about that, right?  Everything’s fine and dandy, with America on the upswing.  We can trust everyone in office right now, and rest easy for years to come.

It’s super bad, thooooooooooooooooough.

(But darkly hilarious)

So let’s talk about Marvel’s Spider-Man, a game whose biggest fault right now is the name.  Seriously, I wish they had called it something else so a Google search wouldn’t mistake it for Spidey or Marvel Comics in general.  But whatever.  

Let’s get stuck in.

Let’s discuss All Might.

I want to start this off by saying, yes, I like My Hero Academia.  I like it a lot.

I’m not just saying that because it’s popular, or because other people like it.  This anime (and the manga by extension) is legit.  Scarily so.  It’s not hard to see the machinery behind it, and its attempts at emotional torque -- but the execution here is generally at such a high level, it almost always works.  I’ve gotten the chills.  I’ve stifled the gasps.  And I’m about two steps short of starting a tally of how many times I tear up.  It’s getting pretty high up there.

Am I being emotionally manipulated?  Probably.  Am I an easy mark for this sort of thing?  Probably.  But until proven otherwise, I’m happy to say that, well, I’m happy with My Hero Academia.  There are plenty of viable reasons to point to -- to identify as successes -- with the chief one being the horrifically-lovable cast.  Certainly, All Might is among them.

But here’s the thing.  The deeper I go with the anime, the more I realize something.  I like All Might not because he’s Not-Quite-Anime Superman.  I like him because the more I think about him, the more I suspect he’s actually the worst…which is why he’s the best.

Shower Thoughts with My Hero Academia (Season 1)

You know what?  There’s a version of My Hero Academia out there in another dimension, locked deep within the darkest confines of the multiverse, where Midoriya never got his Quirk.

Like, I’ve been thinking about it, and I realize that if All Might had never run into Midoriya, and/or if neither one ran into that green blob villain -- which is feasible, given the slim odds of their encounter -- then the Symbol of Peace would have gone on as planned, given his Quirk to someone else he deemed worthy at U.A., and left our hero to be…not a hero.  

I won’t lie: there’s a part of me that wouldn’t mind seeing that story play out.  Maybe have Midoriya enroll in U.A. anyway in the support class?  Have him develop gear for heroes (in-training or otherwise) while providing support as their mission control?  Let him find ways to build armor/equipment that simulates useful battle Quirks?  Or -- and here’s the real kicker -- have him team up with Bakugou so at least one of them can make it to the top.  Bakugou’s got the talent and power, but Midoriya assists and conditions him so that the fire in his belly gets directed instead of scattered in all directions.  An uneasy alliance, sure, but a BEST MATCH when the two truly learn to work as a team.

But you’re not here for hypothetical situations.  You’re here to find out who is best girl in My Hero Academia (besides Iida, as discussed).  And the answer is…drumroll pleeeeeeeeeeeeease…

The 900th Post: My Hero Academia (?!)

Hello, and welcome once again to Cross-Up, your one stop shop for dozens of Kingdom Hearts posts all sorts of posts on video games, movies, TV shows, and more.  And in this case, “more” happens to include anime.  And manga, by extension.  So let’s not delay any longer.  My Hero Academia has been making waves for a while now, and it’s time I use this milestone celebration -- the 900^th post here on this blog -- to take a closer look.

Here we go.  These are The Top 5 Best Girls of My Hero Academia.

…Oh, wait.  No it isn’t.  Never mind.  Continuing on.

Black Panther: Something Something Politics (Part 2)

I’m a little miffed right off the bat, because there was a Zero Punctuation video with a subject that was perfect for this Black Panther post -- but I can neither find nor recall where it is.  It’s a shame.  So I’ll have to speak from memory, and I apologize in advance if I get this wrong somehow.  Especially to Yahtzee.

Anyway, in the ZP video, there’s talk about character diversity -- and Yahtzee, true to form, takes it to task.  He jokes about how absurd it is for a character to only be relatable to an audience (or one person in particular) if they share a gender or race.  As if that’s all that matters, or failing to accommodate that means the game, or movie, or whatever is a failure.  It got a laugh out of me, but only because, like a lot of jokes, it hits hardest because there’s a kernel of truth to them.  Speaking personally?  I’m okay with main characters not being black (as an example) even though I’m black.  As long as the character is good, I won’t complain.

So given its nature, does Black Panther force me to recontextualize my opinion?  The answer to that is…not really.

SPOILERS for Black Panther incoming.  I know I normally toss in quotes from Marvel vs. Capcom here, but I did that last time, BP’s a new arrival without much material to pull from, and Marvel Infinite is on life support.  So have some Dragon Ball FighterZ memes instead.

DOWN YOU GO.  Into SPOILERS.

RE: Black Panther

I both love and hate the position Black Panther has put me in.

I hate it because it’s going to make me look like I’ve got less brainpower than a dead goldfish.  It seems like being a Marvel movie is basically an anathema these days, to the point where the mere mention of one can, at best, draw responses of “Yep, another one.”  At worst?  I’d prefer not to think about it, because how dare I enjoy a mainstream product by a major corporation, or something to that effect.  And now here I am, about to sing praises about the newest movie -- about to clap my hands like a seal because I, and many others, have been conditioned to go “Yeah, another one!”

Despite that, I love the position I’m in.  I’m wary of saying this about the movie because it is the newest to date, and it is another one to throw on the pile.  But…yeah.  I think this the best one yet.  I’ve seen 15 out of 18 of these movies, and it’s the best one.

And I’m not just saying that because I’m black, and most of the cast is black.  So you in the back with your hand raised?  Put your hand down, imaginary idiot I’m calling out.

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2: Under Your Nose (Part 2)

So how well does the original Guardians of the Galaxy movie hold up after all this time?  Or, alternatively, after just a couple of weeks?  After a fourth, third, or even second viewing?

If I had to be a little presumptuous (at least more than usual), I’d bet that most of the big heads of companies in the entertainment industry thrive on getting as many customers to buy in as early as possible.  You see it all the time with video games, and considering that movies only have so long for their theatrical releases -- not counting trips to DVDs, Blu-Rays, and all sorts of streaming services -- I’d assume they work on the same principle.  Get ‘em on the hook early so that they can enjoy “the thing” now, and pay for “the thing” now.  Time is money.

It’s safe to say that the first Guardians got people on the hook and brought in the cash sooner rather than later.  I’ll go ahead and assume that’s the case for Vol. 2…even though I don’t really have to, but whatever.  Plus, the beauty of movies is that instead of replay value after an initial playthrough, people that want to experience it again have no choice but to buy another ticket and fill up theater seats.  But the bigger question is whether or not this movie, or its predecessor, or its brothers in Marvel arms have legs.  Are the MCU offerings good just because of the immediate thrills they provide?  What happens when the thrills wear off?  Will they still be good in the future?

Probably, yeah.  And my reasoning for that can be explained with…rakes.

OIL BOMB!  BEAR TRAP!  BEAR TRAP!  THIS WEIGHS MORE THAN ME!

INCOMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!  (spoilers)

I’LL KILL YOU, YOU SON OF AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA--!

RE: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2

*puts on Snake mask*

Kept you waiting, huh?

*peels off mask*

Well, assuming that there’s anyone out there who’s actually been waiting for this.  In any case?  No spoilers in this post, and it’ll be a quick(ish) one.  In a nutshell, though?  For me, the worst part of Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 was coming home to find a dog with an exorbitant amount of poop stuck to his hair, which necessitated an immediate bath and led to me getting splashed so much that I took on an additional 20 pounds in water weight.

Just thought I’d throw that out there.  It seems slightly relevant to the topic at hand.

RE: Injustice 2

So I want to do a quick post on Injustice 2 and/or early impressions bit, but there’s something that I need to ask before I get started.  Comic book fans or otherwise, help me out here.  I have a question.

Does DC just plain hate Superman right now?  Does everyone?

Let’s discuss One Punch Man.

It’s worth noting right off the bat that I watched the entirety of One Punch Man -- well, the first season of its anime, anyway -- in its official subtitled form on Viz’s website.  I’m at peace with that.  I don’t regret it.  With that said, I have seen clips of the dubbed version.  As someone who’s always had an appreciation of dubs, I’m glad that One Punch Man got the treatment it did.  I know that it’s easy and common to hate dubs, and there are legitimate reasons for it.  But they aren’t bad by default.  And when they’re done well, they bring something special to the table.

Doing that post the other day on Mumen Rider (the best hero) got me thinking about subs versus dubs.  Obviously you want to stay true to the source material/creator’s vision, so taking the anime in as “pure” a form as possible is 100% understandable.  But seeing the cyclist for justice take on the Deep Sea King in both the original Japanese and the alternative English highlighted the potential both have -- namely, that they’re two different yet valid interpretations of the same moments.  In the Japanese version, Mumen Rider sounds like a professional hero -- someone who knows what he’s getting into, but ultimately starts letting the cracks show and his emotions spill out when things get desperate.  In the English version?  He starts by sounding impassioned, desperate, and even scared -- but the end result is that the emotions that come out hit with the force of a tsunami.  One scene, two interpretations, both valid and enjoyable in their own way.  That’s rad.

…This is a weird way to start a post on One Punch Man.  Maybe that’s because I’m tempted to write about Mumen Rider again.  So let’s start again -- and start off right.

Shower Thoughts with Marvel vs. Capcom Infinite

I should probably start this post by saying that I wasn’t very good at Marvel vs. Capcom 3.  Presumably I’m still not good at it -- unless I snorted up some magic dust from the Fighting Game Fairy -- but it’s been literal years since the last time I touched the game, and I’m at peace with that.  I’m at peace with my skill level, more or less; that is, I’ve accepted that I’m nowhere near tournament-ready, and I’m shivering at the thought of even testing my abilities (citation needed) online.

But hope springs eternal, I guess.  Marvel vs. Capcom Infinite is on the way, which means I’ll have the chance to redeem myself.  Now I can finally do the “gitting gud” so breathlessly spoken of in the prophecies of old.  New characters, new systems, new strategies -- the groundwork is all there.  Truly, the next chapter in the franchise -- the glorious union of one of the biggest names in comics and the legendary video game developer -- is something that we should all be celebrating, right?

Pffffffffffffffffffffffffffft.  No, of course not.  Because that’s not how we do things.

Let’s discuss Mumen Rider.

Okay, so I know that I’ve said some controversial stuff on this blog before -- COUGHunchartedCOUGH -- but I don’t think anyone’s going to take too much issue with what I have to say next: Mumen Rider is the best character in One Punch Man.  And that’s saying something, if you ask me.

Though while we’re on the subject?  Let me back up and say that One Punch Man is, on the whole, a pretty freakin’ good anime.  Its popularity may have surged relatively recently -- and thus people have likely started throwing stones at it -- but much like JoJo or Attack on Titan, I’d say that that popularity is deserved.  And now that I’ve said that, I’m just going to spend the rest of this post gushing over how freakin’ sick Mumen Rider is as a character.  Like, I would absolutely be down for a full-on Mumen Rider series -- not spinoff, but series -- starring the cyclist for justice.  Granted it’s not a guaranteed success, but…hey, it’d at least be something that caters to me.  And that’s what matters most.

Now everybody sit down and shut up, because Mumen Rider said so.  Or someone of relative import.

Doctor Strange: A Beard’s Origin Story (Part 1)

Doctor Strange makes me ask a lot of questions, but that’s not a fault of the movie.  I suspect that I know more about him than the average Joe, if only because I played a couple of the Marvel Ultimate Alliance games way back when.  That was basically my first real exposure to the doctor, and I was entranced by his antics -- like teleporting all over the place after spinning like Wonder Woman on a turntable, or transforming enemies into highly-destructible boxes (with the added, if not game-breaking effect, of dishing out extra health).  In the time since, I’ve tried to learn more about him; my knowledge is still surface-level, but I feel like I’ve been rewarded for my efforts.

Doctor Strange is a cool character.  I’ve thought that for a while now -- and there was a time in my life when I would ask with wide, glittering eyes “When are we getting a Doctor Strange movie?”  While I wouldn’t say I’ve dreamed of this moment, I’ve been excited to see what Marvel Studios can put out.  By extension, there are questions that I had (and still have) about the movie.  Chief among them: how do you bring Doctor Strange onto the big screen?  And, you know, do a good job?

I’m not here to tell you if the movie’s good or bad.  I’m here to answer as many questions as possible in the context of what I’ve seen.  Sort out what works, what doesn’t work, and why.  If you’re interested, come along with me on this journey.  If not?  I don’t know.  Watch a Doctor Strange combo video.  Maybe you’ll pick up some new tech.

By the hoary hosts of SPOILERS! 

Side note: anyone looking forward to seeing the Seven Rings of Raggadorr is out of luck.  Sorry if that’s a deal-breaker, but as a consolation prize?  ASTRAL MAGIC CONFIRMED.

Who’s the Best Superhero Ever?

So both Captain America: Civil War and Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice have made the rounds in the past few months.  One of them is great; one of them is not so great.  Still, they do represent an important talking point: even though superhero movies have been around for a good while now, they still have enough clout and momentum to stay self-sustaining, at least for a while yet (and more for the Marvel camp than, say, Fox, Warner Brothers, or Sony).  We’re bound to see more of them, obviously.  There are detractors, and they have a good point -- we’re at risk of oversaturation, for sure -- but hey.  Maybe we’ll get a good Doom Patrol movie out of WB, so that my dream of seeing Animal-Vegetable-Mineral Man on the big screen can finally be fulfilled.

That does bring up something worth discussing, though.  Obviously, the Marvel movies (and others) have brought once-obscure characters into the spotlight, and pretty successfully; where would Iron Man be if not for the efforts of Robert Downey Jr. way back when?  But I wonder how many people the movies are actually converting.  That is, how many people have gained enough interest in comics thanks to the movies to actually seek out these heroes in their natural habitat?  How many people who weren’t already down with stuff like Asgard or the Infinity Gauntlet have even run a Google search?  Are people actually converting into true fans?

I’d imagine so, because the movies serve as condensed introductions.  But that leads to a follow-up question: who are people choosing to follow, and why?  Who’s captured their hearts and minds?  Who is the best superhero?

Okay, that’s like three questions (technically four), but whatever.  It’s for a good cause.

Captain America: Civil War VS Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice: WrestleMania

I feel like there are ways to make this post’s title more cumbersome than it already is.  Then again, I have my doubts that the Blogger dashboard would allow that; it’d either reject my attempts via a character limit, or trigger the bomb embedded in my brain stem.  Not 100% how that got there (or how I know about it), but it’s something I’ve learned to live with.

But let’s not dilly-dally any longer.  There’s something that’s been on my mind, even beyond the question of “Why is Captain America: Civil War better than Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice?”  Granted that’s a legitimate question, and one I’ll try to answer in this post, but it’s important to go over all of the circumstances.  This is one of those cases where, in order to go forward, you have to go backward.

So before we do anything else, let’s talk about Man of Steel.

Always we will fight as one

Till the battle’s won

With evil on the run

We never -- oh wait, since I’m about to talk about Man of Steel, I guess I need to switch to a Hans Zimmer-approved theme song.  Yeah, I guess I’d better do that now.

Oh, and SPOILERS.  Cover your ears now.

Captain America: Civil War: SummerSlam (Part 2)

How does Marvel keep getting away with it?

Cinematic dominance.  Legions of fans.  Hundreds of millions of dollars with one release after another (typically, and that’s before factoring in stuff like merchandising).  The resources and confidence to be able to announce a buffet line of future movies.  The Marvel Cinematic Universe is on a serious hot streak, and if I had to guess?  Considering that Captain America: Civil War has won a place in the hearts of critics, casual moviegoers, and fans -- including yours truly -- I’d say that the streak’s still somewhere between “blazing” and “infernal” on the thermometer.

It’s easy to look at Marvel and get salty.  Very easy.  It’s not the perfect company, and its products aren’t exactly the apotheosis of art.  It’s hard to look at the MCU and pretend like it hasn’t inadvertently harmed the film industry, i.e. with a glut of superhero movies and forcing competitors (such as they are) to foolishly push their own cinematic universes.  And while it’s not a one-to-one comparison, the MCU has helped codify the idea that recognizable names = huge returns of investment.  Ready for a new Jumanji movie?  Too bad, idiots!  Here it comes!

If we absolutely must think of Marvel as the worst -- as a factory instead of a suite of artists -- then I hope you can meet me halfway and agree that it’s the best of the worst.  The reason why Marvel “gets away with it” is because if nothing else, it follows a fundamental rule proven in Civil War: you can’t spell “character” without “care”.

I was standing on my own

But now I’m not alone

SPOILERS!  ASSEMBLE!

Captain America: Civil War: SummerSlam (Part 1)

You know, sometimes it’s hard to come up with subtitles for these posts (especially when there’s already a subtitle built into the title).  This was one of the harder ones, for sure.  It would’ve been easy to go with something pithy yet meaningful, like “No, You Move” or “End of the Line”.  In terms of the movie’s context, there are even more examples I could’ve pulled from.

But I decided to christen it “SummerSlam”, because within the first ten minutes -- if that -- Captain America drop kicks a dude thirty feet away, while Black Widow seems to have picked up a few moves from Rey Mysterio.  Also, the whole movie is pretty much about a big punch-up between a colorful cast of characters, so why not compare it to a major wrestling event?  Besides -- and this is the important bit -- there are a lot of moments where Captain America: Civil War becomes less of a fist-pumping spectacle and more of a brutal, painful, heart-wrenching treatise on why fighting your friends can go so wrong so fast.  We could use a little levity.

It’s fine, though.  Civil War is exactly what I wanted -- which doesn’t say good things about me, but who cares? 

Our world’s about to break

Tormented and attacked

Lost from when we wake

With no way to go back…to a time before you weren’t SPOILED by the SPOILERS in this post.

(That’s how the song goes, right?)

RE: Captain America: Civil War

*furrows brow*

*strokes chin*

*stares at the ceiling*

Hey.  Are crossovers actually the stupidest thing ever?

Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice: Clods Among Us (Part 2)

So what’s the weirdest superpower you can think of?

I can’t help but ask, because -- speaking personally -- the vast majority of my characters are created based on what sort of powers I can give them.  Jury’s out on whether or not that’s a good idea, but recently, I’ve been challenging myself to come up with more powers from left field.  The end goal is to take a page from JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure (sans Stands): take powers that would be seemingly useless and have the characters apply them in ways that turn the “useless” into “incredible”.  Right now I’m focusing on a guy who can always be there to stop a timer -- on a watch, on a clock, on a microwave -- before it goes off…which gives him the power to effectively teleport. 

I’d say more, but chances are high that you’re here for more thoughts on Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice.  (Plus that idea’s super rough around the edges.)  But since we’re dealing with superheroes, it’s important to think at least a little bit about their powers/skill set/equipment.  What do they mean for the character, especially in terms of personality?  How do they impact the world around the hero or heroine?  What do they bring to the table? 

I have to ask, because in terms of this movie, the answer is a resounding nothing.

Look!  Up in the sky!  It’s a SPOILER!  It’s a SPOILER!  No, it’s blatant and overwrought symbolism that has no reason being used by a team that’s demonstrated its sheer ability to fail on even basic levels of storytelling and film-making principles!

…I mean SPOILERS.