How to become a Game of the Year 2018 contender instantly -- irrespective of actual game quality or even a full release -- as explained by Super Smash Bros. Ultimate.
Step One: KILL EVERYONE YOU LOVE.
That’s…pretty much the only step.
So, those of you hardy enough to have pulled yourself out of the fetal position in the wake of the final Smash Ultimate direct: what have we learned?
--Apparently, the name of the new enemy is Galeem. Not like names matter much at this point, though. Results do, And now we’ve confirmed that the Smash universe is one containing a foe whose power level is scraping the upper limits of infinity. Since it attacks with light, Arwings, F-Zero machines, and supersonic blue hedgehogs aren’t fast enough to escape. Whether through divine protection (Link and his shield) or direct intervention (Rosalina and Palutena), the power of the gods pales in comparison. I don’t even think I need to mention that no power the heroes can muster is enough to stop it. The gang has a hell of an uphill battle ahead of them.
--Notice how Bowser is lending a hand this time. Given that he was working alongside the villains in The Subspace Emissary, it’s quite a departure. So are Galeem and Tabuu opposed to one another? Is there any relationship between them, or is the new enemy a separate entity altogether? I wonder.
--Also, I don’t want to be that guy, but I guess I pretty much have to: is Sakurai okay? Like, dude, are you taking care of yourself? Are you happy? I mean, as the face of this franchise you’re the vanguard that takes the brunt of fan abuse, so…are you maybe trying to tell us something with World of Light? Subconsciously?
--It wouldn’t surprise me at all if, post-release, Sakurai announced that this would be his last Smash game and would thus turn it over to someone else. Considering how much content is going to be in this game, there’s a looming question over the whole proceeding: how do you top this? Every single playable character from the past is back, there’s over a hundred stages, close to 1000 songs, and a brand new story mode (in some capacity). Then you think about all the nitty-gritty nuances that need tending to, like character balance. That’s gotta be a nightmare, so no wonder there’s a new feature that lets you manually buff or nerf individual fighters. “Think he’s OP? Fine, genius. You handle it. I’m out.”
--Sure, Sakurai’s reportedly in better health than he was during Smash 4’s development, but I’m still worried about the mental strain of working on this series, and this game in particular. He’s not getting any younger, after all -- and there have been times where the man’s looked downright haggard in showings of the game. On some level, that need for rest -- for an end to this franchise -- has to have leaked into the game itself. And while there’s no doubt that Kirby and the rest of the crew will be able to run back galactic genocide, the fact that it’s reached this point makes me…well, apprehensive. But we’ll see how it goes.
--Come what may, I’ll be the first -- and certainly not the last -- to salute Sakurai and his team for the work they’ve put in. You’ve all earned a break, and I hope you get it. Alternatively? PLEASE take a break. And Nintendo, let them rest, for God’s sake.
--But anyway…how ‘bout that Incineroar?
--I’m super-okay with this character, even if others aren’t. My brother’s down to clown with Incineroar as well, having laid claim to him in advance (Litten was his starter in Sun/Moon). So basically, I imagine it’ll be about a week before he cries “HIS NORMALS ARE BAD!” and then writes them off, as he often does. In which case, the hellfire heel is jumping straight into my stable.
--As someone who’s played characters that are truly at or near the bottom of the tier list -- Falke, T. Hawk, Phoenix Wright, Potemkin, Paul Phoenix, Tsubaki Yayoi, and more -- I’m basically immune to the effects of subpar characters. My conditions for choosing a fighter are 1) do I like/respect this character, and 2) does this character’s tool kit resonate with me. So even if Palutena couldn’t escape D-tier last time, I’d gladly use her because I thought she was (and is) the coolest.
--With that all said? No, I wouldn’t object if the devs decided to give her some buffs. Having put my time in with her, I know her weaknesses even without running to the wiki, Reddit, or the forums. Her tilts are bad, her smashes are laggy and don’t pack as much killing power as you’d hope, and her default special moves leave a lot to be desired. Even just by looking at her preview video, I can see she’s gotten improvements. So I’m itching to see how the rest of the cast has improved in tandem. Time will tell if the devs took the “balance upward” approach.
--In the off-chance that my brother sticks with Incineroar, I’ve still got options. There’s a dark, sadistic part of me that just wants to harass everyone with Isabelle, so we’ll see how that goes. Probably well, given some past successes I’ve had with Killager. Beyond that? I want to see more Chrom, and the best way to do that is to get my hands on him. After that? Dark Samus > Simon/Richter > Inkling > Daisy > Ridley.
--What of K. Rool? That’s going to be interesting. I’ve got a buddy who lived and breathed Donkey Kong back in the day, so I assume that he’s going to want the first crack at the Kremling king. Then again, he’s dead-set on playing Ganondorf and only Ganondorf, so we’ll see if one form of nostalgia is enough to overcome another. And character loyalty, for that matter. Then again, he’s also prone to marking out over anything related to Metal Gear, sooooooooooooooo…he’s gonna be in good shape come release day.
--Granted, there’s a lot of unlocking that needs to be done. Maybe I missed it in the Direct/earlier news reports, but I’m still unclear on the character-unlocking process. I’m going to assume that clearing pieces of the story will boost the roster, but that means you’ll have to go a long way to get every last one of the 70-ish characters. The likely alternative? If it’s anything like earlier Smash games, playing through versus matches will be enough. More than enough, probably; you only had to finish five in order to unlock some characters in the later games.
--So it’ll be a breeze, possibly -- assuming that you’re skilled enough to succeed when a new challenger approaches. I remember losing the match to unlock Wario in Smash 4 (partly because I was thrown off-balance by the then-unseen Gamer stage), and my brother chastised me for not knowing how to play the game…only to nearly lose himself when he tried to unlock Dark Pit.
--I know there are a ton of reaction videos out there vis a vis the Piranha Plant reveal, and rightly so. I didn’t have one -- not because I wasn’t shocked or excited, but because I was so shocked that I basically turned into a mannequin. This has to be one of the most audacious fighting game additions ever, and that’s saying something with the previous game tagging in the dog from Duck Hunt.
--I hope Sakurai and crew realize what they’ve unleashed this time around. Sure, it’s a brilliant move on their part; if you can’t think of any gaming icons to import and stun fans worldwide, then go in the opposite direction and turn random goobers into full-fledged fighters. Now the floodgates are open for anyone and everyone, major or minor, to get a spot in the roster. Suddenly, Spear Waddle Dee just became a lot more viable…
--So, Spirits, huh? I’m down for it. I was wondering how I’d be able to customize my characters (if at all), and this looks like a pretty elegant solution. Not being able to overtly tweak your stats or special moves is a loss, but an acceptable one. With all of the characters they’re passively adding to the game via Spirits, there’s no doubt that you’ll be able to make some broken combinations along the way. And by “you” I mean “me”. I’m itching to break the game, and I can’t wait to fool around with the system. Worked for me and Octopath Traveler.
--Oh, shit. I just realized -- since Octopath did as well as it did, does that mean we’re going to get one of those heroes as part of 2019’s DLC quintet? I’m down for that. My heart says “add Ophilia”, but I’d be more than happy with a playable Primrose. I’d worry about her spiking the ESRB rating, but we already got Bayonetta, soooooooooooooo…no worries, I guess.
--So it looks like there have been some casualties along the way, huh? No more stage building, no more trophies, and it looks like a few of the bonus games have gotten dropped. For me, those are acceptable losses. For others? I’m sure something crucial has been lost. On the other hand? Given the spread of Spirits throughout the game, I’d imagine we’ll see them function in a capacity like trophies. Just without 3D models to twirl around. A time-saving measure, I’d wager. Gotta strike while the Switch is hot.
--Here’s hoping that online play works out well, especially now that you’ve got to pay to get in. Online tended to be effectively unplayable in Brawl, and all over the map in 4, so I’d think that the devs have done their best to make the experience smoother than ever -- especially in the wake of other online titles like Splatoon 2, ARMS, and the recent Mario Kart games. I’m in no rush to try and become #1 on the leaderboards, but I do relish the idea of playing doubles with my bro, and the two of us using respective echo fighters. He’s always been the Ken to my Ryu, so why not make it official in a real fight?
--But let’s get real for a minute. I’m intensely excited about playing through the story mode, no matter how extensive or limited it may be (it wouldn’t surprise me if that lit announcement trailer was one of the few FMVs we’ll get). I’ve been thinking about what I’m going to focus on over December and the winter months to follow, given my plans to go on a quasi-hiatus. Would it be My Hero Academia? Xenoblade Chronicles 2? Yu-Gi Oh ARC-V? Gundam Build Divers? I’m not spoiled for choice. But now I realize I was an idiot for even daring to leave Smash Ultimate off the table. Now it is most certainly on the table.
--Part of it has to do with me being so entranced by the premise; how will Kirby and his amazing friends push back against an invincible foe and the apocalypse it can birth in a matter of minutes? Part if it has to do with me being a huge mark for Smash. Part of it has to do with me on a search to find my 2018 GOTY, conclusively. Nintendo and Sora’s latest seems primed to take the top spot, but I want to be absolutely sure. And I will.
--But above all else? I want to relish this moment, and the moments to follow. Smash Bros. Is more than just a money-printing franchise for Nintendo; it’s a celebration of video games, prior to release and after it. I have doubts about what the future holds, given that this effort has to be unsustainable in terms of its growth (Sakurai, please take an infinite vacation). With that said, I want to enjoy it all, again and again. I’ve done this dance multiple times now, scouring sites, going bug-eyed over reveals, pouring over theories and speculation. I don’t regret it. I never will. I’ll be right here, in the exact same spot, when the cycle repeats in five or so years.
--That hype -- that excitement, wonder, and joy -- is justified. Smash Bros. As a series is a testament to the love and whimsy of the entire medium, and the joy we all collectively share over characters who could never hope to exist in the real world. Ultimate is going to be another stepping stone on the long and endless road. And I can’t wait to walk down it, hand in hand with gamers all over the world.
--We’re all gonna be in for one hell of a fight. So I’ll be seeing you all there on the battlefield.
--Best reveal of the final Direct? That the main theme had lyrics. Though to be fair, it just barely edges out Piranha Plants having feet.
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