So I tried playing
some Street Fighter V to break in Poison, AKA the only character I could
grab with the pittance of Fight Money I had on hand. Plus it had been the first time I touched it
in about five months, so I thought it’d be fun to test out a new fighter and
level up my game.
It
wasn’t fun. And
that’s all I’m going to say about that for now.
Let’s wash that
horrible, horrible taste out of my mouth with the latest Super Smash Bros.
Ultimate DLC character -- the oft-gone but not forgotten bear and bird duo,
Banjo & Kazooie. Or…is it
Banjo-Kazooie? Well, whatever. New character, so let’s get salty. As if I wasn’t already.
--I know it’s not
gonna happen, but I wish that one of Banjo’s taunts let him bust out a
DMC-style guitar solo. Not a banjo solo. I mean full-on electric, with power chords
and all.
--I’m not a Smash
pro, so I’m not going to sit here and say with any authority where Banjo is
on the tier list. I wouldn’t even if I
was a pro, mostly because it’s way too early at this point. With that said, what I can say with
some confidence is that of the three DLC characters released so far -- Joker,
Hero, and now a bear in pants -- I’m most interested in using/sticking with
Banjo. That might change come November,
because I’ve got a good feeling about Terry.
But for now? If I had to make a
main out of the trio available, it’d be Banjo -- and weirdly, it’s got nothing
to do with his quality as a character.
Or the nostalgia factor.
--I’m into the feel
of Banjo more than the others. Not
necessarily in terms of gameplay -- not entirely, but I’ll get into that later
-- but more of an aesthetic sense. Right
now, Smash has a problem with its deluge of anime swordsmen, and it’s
not going to get better for a while as long as we’re on the “Everyone is Here!”
kick. Having a googly-eyed 3D cartoon
join the roster helps tilt the balance -- breathes life and fresh air into it,
least of all because he’s got so much weight behind his name. He’s a big goof in terms of his looks, kit,
animations, everything -- so much so that he got my brother laughing gleefully
in a way I never thought he could with a fighting game. I guess after grinding it out in Street
Fighter IV and V for so long, it’s revitalizing for him to play
something that doesn’t progressively melt his soul. Or mine, by proxy.
--So Sakurai and
crew have made Banjo into one of the most lovable members of the roster
yet. Fair enough. How about the gameplay? Again, I’m not a pro, so you shouldn’t hold
up my words as any sort of gospel. But
let me say this to start: of the DLC characters so far -- and maybe even among
a decent amount of the original cast -- Banjo is one of the more honest
fighters. He has the tools to clinch the
win in a tight spot, but he’s not going to rob you of your victory. Speaking personally, I’ve lost to Banjos
before and I wasn’t that mad about it. I
just went “Yeah, that’s fair” and “It’s my fault I lost”. That’s how it should be.
--From what I can
gather, Banjo is a mix of attributes. He
can hit pretty hard, but he’s not a powerhouse.
He’s got some decent mobility thanks to Kazooie, but he won’t blast past
Sonic anytime soon. He’s got techniques
in his kit, but not enough to overwhelm with an array of long-range skills and
snipes. It leaves him without any glaring
weaknesses stat-wise, or just on that base level, though it does mean that
there are others that does what he can do better. Even though his F-Smash looks like a DORIYA
from Ganondorf, point-for-point the evil king has him beat.
--Banjo can be
used as a jack-of-all-trades, but what took me by surprise is that he’s
actually got more range than you’d expect.
Granted, he’s not guaranteed to land a KO from the other side of the
stage under most circumstances. It’s
still worth appreciating that Banjo’s egg shenanigans let him check and control
a decent amount of space, whether it’s from a single shot, a continuous stream
from his gun-bird, or his grenades. The
grenades deserve special mention; if you’re quick enough, you can grab a
slow-moving bomb and turn it into a full-on, full-range item to be tossed. The emphasis is on “quick”, though, and since
I’m not, I’m content with just letting them bounce across the stage to make
approaching foes think twice -- or try to cover/intercept low-angle recoveries
without diving into the abyss.
--He may not have
the same level of gimmicks as Joker or Hero, but Banjo’s got one ace up his
non-existent sleeves. His Side-B is
basically his version of Charizard’s Flare Blitz, only with added invincibility
(assuming he’s not challenging a grab).
Pros? Covers tons of space,
catches rolls and recoveries if you read them, can be used as your recovery
move, goes through projectiles, and is a pretty reliable kill move (and
damaging in general -- anywhere from 20-27%, I’d say). Cons?
Punishable on block, not invincible on startup, possible to
read/react to, and, critically, you only get five per stock. If you’re up against a zoning menace like
Samus or Ness, then you’ve got five chances to get in on them. Better make them count.
--Also, here’s a
Voltech Pro Tip: be careful about challenging Banjo when he’s offstage. Rival players can and will use his Side-B to
blow right through your gimp attempts. I
know they will, because I’ve done the exact same thing plenty of times.
--So the question
now is a simple one: does Banjo have all the tools he needs? Pros, experts, and tournament-goers have
their answers, and I have mine. You
don’t need to be a Smash ace to know that he doesn’t have the
overwhelming abilities of the top-tiers.
That’s fine, though. What I look
for in a character these days, more or less, is whether or not he/she has the
kit needed to make the gauntlet that is online play into a smooth
experience. Am I going to struggle
because I don’t have what I need to fight back?
Am I going to end up in situations where I know what the enemy’s doing,
but have to take it face-first because my character doesn’t have an answer for
it?
--As a
defense/zoning-oriented player by nature -- give or take deviations to break
out of my prison of a comfort zone -- I’m exactly the type of person to relish
reflectors, counters, and other anti-offensive measures. That’s part of the reason why I’ve still got
a pocket Palutena. Banjo doesn’t have
either of those, but I’m fine with that.
The only part of his move set that I hate right now is his Up-Air,
because as far as I can tell it’s pathetically weak. Everything else? I can work with it. Down-Tilt gives him extra range up
close. Fair won’t spike, but it will KO. I apparently need to use Up-Tilt more,
because it’s got some shocking power behind it.
Down-Throw buries, and you
know what that means.
--What’s Banjo’s
future going to look like? I don’t
know. Still, even if he ends up being
low-tier or falling off in players’ eyes, that won’t stop me from using him. I’ve played with far worse characters in the
past -- and from where I’m sitting, you can do a hell of a lot worse than the
bear and bird.
--There we go. Now let’s talk about Ike.
--Banjo’s the
newest character, which inevitably means that everyone’s going to be rushing in
to play him. In an effort to dodge
mirror matches (which I personally dread, for reasons too stupid to go into
here), I decided to keep dabbling with the other fighters and see if anyone
else met my criteria. Ike…doesn’t. Not especially. But I still think he -- in his Radiant
Dawn version -- is super-cool. So I
picked him up, and have stuck with him longer than expected. He’s by no means my main, let’s get that
right. But I’ll use him in as many
matches as I can before I get too frustrated and my soul starts oozing out of
my body.
--I can handle characters
that lack mobility. I prefer them,
honestly, so I’m fine with Ike not having the sheer speed or relentless
offensive pressure of his Fire Emblem colleagues. Yes, it does mean that Ike has to work harder
to get in safely on opponents. Yes, it does
mean that his recovery is linear and easy to gimp if you’re being too
basic. Yes, he can struggle against
projectiles. Some of his attacks are
unforgivably slow, his offense can be distressingly straightforward, and -- as
with any character of the type -- you’d better pray that every Counter you
attempt lands.
--In theory, Ike
should scrape the bottom of every tier list.
In practice? Last I checked, I
had an 80%-win ratio with him.
--Admittedly, that
was just out of the last 10 matches I’d played with him; out of the last 50,
I’ve still got him trending at around 50%, just like everyone else I use. That said, I feel like I shouldn’t be winning
with Ike at all. Yet here I am
regardless. Ike has some glaring,
highly-exploitable faults, that much is obvious when I play as and fight
against him. In exchange? This man is a problem-solver. His attack power is generally pretty
high, so that when you land those slow hits, there’s a good chance your
opponent’s not making it back.
--While he doesn’t
have any projectiles to his name, Ike’s sword gives him decent range up close;
his F-Tilt is a good example, and the hitboxes of several of his aerials mean
that he can cover himself as he mounts his offense. I haven’t tested it out enough to be 100% sure,
but his Up-Tilt may be a legit anti-air.
Meanwhile, his Down-Tilt is one of my favorite punishment tools -- or,
honestly, just my favorite move to throw out in general because it can lead to
his aerials easily for BIG DAMAGE. For
someone who can rack up the damage and score those KOs, Ike’s got way more
combo potential than I would have expected for someone in his weight class
(such as it is). I guess that’s what
happens when you fight for your friends.
--I’m not about to
drop my real main Rosalina anytime soon, but Ike has earned himself a spot in
my stable. For now, at least. It all depends on how much frustration I
endure when I use him -- and there’s been frustration before. Last time I played, I scraped up 1.4 million
GSP with him; before that, I lost enough to knock him down to 2.2m GSP. The only thing consistent about me and my Smash
career is that -- by way of gypsy’s curse or otherwise -- nearly every win
I earn is offset by a loss immediately after, and vice versa. If I win two in a row, I’ll lose two in a row. Streaks beget streaks. It’s creepy as hell.
--I need to start
saving my replays more -- you know, to go over the tapes and see what I’m doing
right and wrong. I’ve kind of started
doing that internally, asking myself “what happened” whether I win or lose a
match, though being able to go over every individual moment would likely help
in the long run. That said, I do have a
couple of saved replays on my Switch, including one of me getting the BIGGEST
comeback I’ve ever had in any game (my Hero vs. an opposing Joker). Need more of Rosalina, though…
--Between this game
and fighting games in general, I’m becoming steadily more aware of my strengths
and weaknesses. My weaknesses? As always, I’m slow to react and (to a lesser
extent) adapt. I break down when I’m
force-fed offensive pressure from an opponent.
I cannot handle high-speed characters.
I get tilted to the point of going berserk, and that makes me and my
game plan fall apart. If I can overcome
my weaknesses, I’m bound to get more wins.
--I’m wary of
boasting about them, but I am going to at least acknowledge my
strengths. My game plan consistently
revolves around stopping an offense cold -- approach, rushdown, etc. -- so when
I actually get a chance to do so, I win.
Even if my damage output isn’t explosive, I’ll chip away consistently
and in such a way that enemies will get thrown off-balance/off their game plan. It may take me a while to “download” an
opponent, but it seems like whenever I do -- however late in the game it
happens -- that’s when the comebacks start to happen.
--I mean…it seems
like at least 75% of the time when I lose, it’s because it comes down to the
last hit of the last stock for both me and my opponent,
soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo…I
don’t know how to finish that thought.
Let’s talk about other Smash stuff.
--Terry Bogard was
always my brother’s character in stuff like CvS2 and KoF11 through
14, so there’s a part of me that still feels like the guy has an odor
around him. That said, I’m
super-down to play as him, or at least give him an honest try. Given that the other DLC characters have had
a special resource-based gimmick (Banjo less so, admittedly), maybe Terry will
have the T.O.P.
System? Or maybe one of the
Grooves? Or maybe they’ll keep him
as basic as possible to reflect his classic roots? Time will tell. My guess is that the Rising Tackle will be
his Up-B, which will probably have good vertical but awful horizontal
recovery. In which case, we might be
looking at Punch Ike instead of Ike Classic.
--Last time I did
DLC character speculation, I said I was down for Octopath Traveler’s Primrose
to make it into the roster. That’s
seeming even more unlikely than before, because it’d mean Squeenix would get
another third-party rep. (By extension,
that means no Tifa. Profound sadness.) I’ve
heard an argument -- with
evidence -- that the fifth fighter will be Doomguy, and the more I think
about it, the more I say “yeah, that’d be rad”.
I just hope he doesn’t make for an utterly poisonous opponent online,
because now that Mii Gunner’s seen a resurgence thanks to the Sans costume…I’m
over Mii Gunner, to say the least.
--I think the
question now is “Who the hell else could make it into this game?” Pretty much all of the bases have been
covered (even an Atlus character made it in!), so what now? Which Japanese developers haven’t been
represented yet? How many Western
developers will we get, now that Banjo’s opened the floodgates? Are we going to get reps from Minecraft or
Overwatch? Will Gust see any
love? What about Spike Chunsoft? Arc System Works? WayForward?
Marvelous? Christ, we could even
get Kasumi from Dead or Alive, because we got a 3DS game out of the
series way back when.
--Since we’re
getting even more DLC characters down the line (for the love of God, Sakurai, get
your rest in), it’s impossible to know for sure what the devs have
planned. Granted Byleth from Fire
Emblem: Three Houses is probably a shoo-in, along with another Pokémon to
capitalize on the new release. But after
that? Man, I don’t even know. Maybe another Bandai Namco rep? Weird that they’ve only got Pac-Man in there,
despite how much help they’ve offered over the years. I’d say I want someone from Tales to
get in, but we have enough anime swordsmen, and the franchise is flooded with
them. Sooooooooo…Valkyrie,
then? If you absolutely have
to quintuple-down on anime swordsmen…
--Yes, I’m aware of
the fact that I’m putting intense focus on female DLC characters. That shouldn’t be a problem.
--I guess the only
thing we can do is sit and wait (and pray for accurate leaks, but
whatever). Even if there wasn’t the
promise of more content coming down the line, I’d still be grinding it out in Smash
to reach a level of gameplay prowess I’m personally satisfied with. I hope that others feel the same way…and that
they’re willing to give me an easy win if we ever clash. No Bowsers, Pikachus, or Jigglypuffs,
please. Those are my worst matchups by
far.
Well, that’ll do it
for now. See you next --
Okay, you know
what? Screw it. I want Chun-Li in Smash. Yeah, we’ve already got two Street Fighter
characters and two Capcom franchises repped, but come on. It’s the First Lady of Fighting Games, she’s
a mainstay of Vs./crossover titles, there are already like half a dozen Fire
Emblem characters, and she’s the fucking coolest. Let’s go.
LET'S GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
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