Is this gonna be a
thing? Really? Eh, all right. I’ll allow it.
Okay, let’s back up a
little bit. If you’ve been following my
blog for a little while -- or just stuck around on the net long enough for me
to leave comments here and there -- you’ll know that it’s my aim to put forth a
story starring “a Godzilla-sized wrestling mama.” That’s still a drive I have to this day, and
a recent prototype has proven that it’s a concept that I can pull off with a
bit of work. Even so, I’d feel a lot
better if I had something to fall back on.
Inspiration, or resources, or what have you. The problem, as I suspect, is that there are
very few good resources -- least of all the infamous Attack of the 50-Foot Woman.
To be fair, I’m willing
to assume that H.G. Wells’ The Food of
the Gods may give me something closer to what I’m looking for: a story that
investigates the physical, mental, and emotional effects of being really
friggin’ huge. And I’d assume some
fantasy stories have done it as well -- though I’d prefer to examine the
transformation from human to giant, rather than just starting out as an earth-shaking
colossus. Even so, I can’t help but
think back to that movie…or those movies, I should say.
Why, I can’t imagine --
because they’re all kind of crap.
Anyway, I happened to
stumble upon the 2012 Attack of the
50-Foot Cheerleader (thank you, Wikipedia), which I hoped would deliver on
what I wanted: a movie with a bit of thought, decorum, and creative ideas. So I tried learning more about the movie, and
watched a few clips on YouTube. How is
it, from what I can gather?
Well, let me say this:
lead actress Jena Sims plays Cassie, a less-than-perfect college student and
scientist who uses an experimental compound to make herself beautiful (and as
these things tend to go, said compound results in explosive growth
spurts). My immediate thought was this:
“All right, movie. Are you going to do
the smart thing and make her look genuinely disfigured? Or are you going to do the dumb thing and
just give her thick glasses, a bad hairdo, and baggy clothes?”
I got my answer pretty
quickly. By the way, Jena Sims? Yeah. This is her. And she takes a bath
in a swimming pool, just like the 90’s movie.
So you know what? Screw it.
If you want something done right, you’ve gotta do it yourself. So pull up a chair, grab a light snack, and
don’t piss off any women who’ve just returned from an alien abduction. I’m about to show just how possible it is to pull off this
concept.
Step One: Characters
If there’s a certain
commonality behind all these movies, it’s this: the woman starts off in a bad
place. Put-upon by society, emotionally
unfulfilled, desiring more out of life, so eager to accept a shortcut to better
standing that she’ll use DELICIOUS SCIENCE to gain power, prestige, or pride --
whatever the case, we can never have the leading lady thinking, “Well golly gee
whiz, isn’t my life swell?”
And for a moment, I was
willing to write a scenario with a similar setup. The logic behind it is traceable, after all;
pre-growth, the woman is in a sorry state of affairs, and wants something,
anything better. Post-growth, things are
different and certainly full of problems, but at long last she has the power
she needs to take control of her life -- and woe to anyone else. I get it.
It’s something that can be explored in depth further than the movies
proper have ever dared.
But I say, “Hey -- what
if she was actually doing well for herself?”
So here’s what I
propose. Let’s say we’ve got a young
lady -- we’ll call her “Kitty”, if for no other reason than to reference
Shadowcat of the X-Men -- who’s a waitress at a well-off restaurant. No, even better -- a waitress at a bar. She’s more than content with her life, and
while she’s not exactly living in a mansion, she did just move into a humble
little apartment. She’s got a stable job
and stable cash flow. She’s not the most
popular lady around town, but she’s got a couple of very close friends, and
she’s a notable face around the bar.
She’s not exactly an oddball or a social outcast -- she’s pretty
well-adjusted, as you’d expect -- but she’s got a few quirks here and
there. Overall though, she’s a sweet,
fun-loving, friendly person. Someone
you’d definitely be glad to see walking toward you.
So let’s talk about her
two friends. In one corner, we’ve got
Rex (short for Roxanne…or, just because Rex sounds cooler). She’s a little bit older than Kitty, and it
shows; she has this very mature, very rational air about her. It certainly helps that she’s from a VERY
well-off family, and though she’s distanced herself from their wealth she still
does remarkably well in her own career. That’s
not to say she’s incapable of having fun -- she’s actually pretty tomboyish,
and not afraid to get hammered to win a contest -- but when it’s time to get
serious or if there’s trouble around, she’s smart, capable, and most of all
reliable.
The same can’t be said
of their mutual friend “Mouse”. He’s the
youngest of the three by several years (just barely legal drinking age, and a
fresh face around town), and matches Rex’s cool outlook with wild
optimism. He’s a dreamer, and a bit of a
weirdo, and remarkably prone to crying, but his passion and spirit aren’t to be
underestimated...especially since he can never shut up about his favorite
subject, paranormal activity. Also,
government conspiracies. He can’t ignore
those. In any case, he, Kitty, and Rex
form the core trio. There are other
characters, of course, but the focus is on those three as much as our titular
fifty-foot woman.
And speaking of which…
Step Two: Plot
All’s well in Kitty’s
world, as you can probably guess. Her
life’s more than a little by-the-numbers, but the people she meets day after
day offer just enough variation to stay content. But one morning when she wakes up, Kitty
starts to notice something…different.
Her clothes are a little tighter.
Her things look a little smaller.
She’s eating more and more. And
it seems like every time she tries to handle something, it breaks in her
grip. Worrisome stuff, to be sure, but
she shakes it off; she’s got business to attend to.
Except pretty soon, she
can’t shake it off. Every time she wakes up -- every time she has
a moment to look around -- she notices that things are getting smaller. She’s constantly hungry, and it takes entire
buffets just to get her half-full. Her
weight is skyrocketing. She rips doors
-- car doors -- off their
hinges. It’s barely even three days
before she realizes what’s going on: she’s growing, and growing fast. But doctors are stunned, and any efforts to
stop it are little more than placebos. She
has no choice but to take it as it comes -- and start making some pretty big adjustments to her life.
*is slapped for making
such a terrible pun*
…Couldn’t resist. In any case, the key to the story is that
unlike the other movies, no one knows why Kitty is growing. What’s the cause, if not aliens or radiation
or DELICIOUS SCIENCE? It’s hard to say
-- but what’s important is just how Kitty’s supposed to manage her prolonged
growth spurt. What will she eat? What will she wear? Where will she live? How will she get around? What are the side effects of her growth? What about collateral damage? How will people respond to her if she’s ten
times their size? Is a fifty-foot woman
even remotely sustainable? How will she
go back to normal? Can she go back to normal?
All valid questions that’ll need answering, and if I have anything to
say about it, they would be. Whatever
the case, the movie would be as much a personal tale as one with a
slightly-larger scope (i.e. the effects of one very large lady in a general
area). Kitty’s role is obvious, in that
it’s a way to see her react physically, mentally, and emotionally to her
newfound status as a skyscraper. But Rex
and Mouse get in on the action as well; Rex works furiously to get her friend
all the accommodations she can, while Mouse goes to work trying to figure out
what (presumably paranormal) event is behind this…and while he’s at it, try and
find a cure.
Assuming, of course,
that there is one.
Step Three: Setting
Compared to coming up
with settings for big freakin’ martial arts tournaments for a Street Fighter movie and a Dead or Alive movie, this one is
comparatively easy. If you’ll allow me
to borrow from my setup in I Hraet You
-- since the reverse may be true one day in the future -- the movie’s setting
is between two areas. There’s the
downtown, metropolitan area where Kitty and the others reside -- we’ll call it
“Eckhart” for now -- and a few miles off there’s the more-suburban area, Winscott. At first I was going to say that most of the
action takes place in Winscott, because it’s a sleepy little hamlet with parks
and lakes and such. But then I realized
there would be more tension if Kitty -- in all her gigantic glory -- was lodged
smack-dab in the center of the city.
More people + tighter areas = more interaction = more conflict, as
you’ve likely guessed. Getting her to
Winscott is an end goal (more on that in a minute), but I’d say she’s in a good
place in the city…so to speak.
It goes without saying,
of course, that this is a story set in the modern day. And barring the presence of a lady several
dozen standard deviations taller than the norm, it’s a movie that’s light on
the science fiction (and similarly, the less-than-credible DELICIOUS SCIENCE),
and focuses a bit more on real-world applications and practicality. There’d be some exceptions, of course --
otherwise the movie would be impossible -- but it would have to be a grounded
story. One that takes a magnifying glass
to the hoary old concept, but a personal one nonetheless.
Step Four: Music
Now this is where
things get tricky. For the last two “How
to Make a Good X Movie,” I had the tunes from Street Fighter and DOA to
crib on. That’s not the case here; given
that, what’s the best music for the job?
My default answer would
be “guitars up the ass”, given that it’s a mentality that’s served me
well. But the blazing riffs of Daisuke
Ishiwatari would be ill-suited for this hypothetical movie. So would the blaring bombast of several other
composers -- so as much as I like “Driving with the Top Down” from Iron Man, it’s a bit of a misfit. The reins need to be pulled in. The music needs to be softer, gentler, more
subdued, but affecting all the same -- an almost-ironic element, considering
that the heroine pretty much has a voice as loud as a dozen megaphones. Whatever the case, a soundtrack primarily in
this style may prove pretty effective:
There would be
exceptions, of course -- something a bit more fast-paced and frenetic in the
event of an action scene -- but I think it could work. Even though the song I embedded is more or
less being sung by a mad machine, there’s a certain human element to it. There’s an unmistakable earnestness. Cute, even.
It’s music like that (and more) that may emphasize the humanity of each
character, no matter what side of the genetic fence they’re on.
Alternatively, a
capella music. Because…well, just listen.
Okay, I just wanted to
post that song, but can you blame me?
Step Five: Tone and Depth
If you’re the savvy
sort, you may have guessed that Rex and Mouse play a much bigger role than I
let on. That’s very much the case; in a
nutshell, Rex is to order as Mouse is to chaos.
That’s not to say either of them are evil or would become key
antagonists; quite the contrary. It’s
because they care so much for Kitty and want to help her that they end up going
to extremes…and because of it, they’re as responsible for the conflict in the
movie as anyone else.
Like I said, Rex is the
practical one -- the savvy one, the wise one, and in many respects the logical
one of the group. She doesn’t know what
could possibly turn Kitty into a fifty-foot woman, but then again she doesn’t
care (and doesn’t believe in DELICIOUS SCIENCE); what’s important is that she
starts mobilizing to accommodate her.
She’ll gladly use her connections and resources to offer her big buddy a
slew of resources -- within reason, of course, but enough to support her
without relying on charity or petty theft.
Her prescription is to have Kitty stay still in a cramped-but-empty area
of Eckhart; no moving, no walking, and in some cases not even speaking, for the
sake of keeping the collateral damage (which she’s undeniably prone to cause)
to a minimum. Rex knows that if Kitty
shakes society’s foundations too much, she’s going to do plenty of harm to
herself as well as others. But even if
Kitty does exactly as prescribed, it puts a massive
strain on Rex. Well before the end
of the movie, she’s incredibly stressed-out, she’s exhausted all her resources,
her credibility on the job is no more, and worst of all she’s got nothing to
show for it but a friend who’s become nothing more than a child to take care
of. Conventional knowledge and reason
suggests that Rex should abandon her -- and she just might end up doing it,
especially with so many people still less than receptive of Kitty. Like this guy:
Man, look at that
guy. All distrusting and whatnot.
On the flip side, Mouse
is taking Kitty’s new status in stride.
He thinks it’s awesome -- not the burden that Rex paints it as, but an
endless source of opportunities. Just by
existing, she’s breaking virtually every Guinness world record; she’s the tallest,
strongest, toughest woman that’ll ever exist, and while he does his
investigation on the nature of her growth and a cure, he thinks that she should
prove she’s not a threat by acting as Eckhart’s biggest agent of justice. In other words, a superheroine. Chasing after runaway crooks; pulling
children out of burning buildings (or just doing some demolition work);
transport, heavy lifting, construction, the works. What’s important, Mouse notes, is that
Kitty’s free to do what she wants when she wants -- as an inherently good
person she’s bound to lean towards doing good for others, but he’s quick to
emphasize that there’s no reason to fear consequences or repercussions. No cop can cuff her, no jail can hold her, and
while she’s far from invincible she’s in no danger of losing any fights. He’s supportive of her, but he’ll put plenty
of crazy ideas in her head all the same…which of course puts him at odds with
Rex.
But of course, this is
Kitty’s story before it’s anyone else’s.
If there’s one thing to note about the other movies, it’s that they all
had an implicit idea behind them: power.
It’s very on-the-nose, but it works; the woman finds herself with an
unexpected but unprecedented source of power, and has to contend with its
effects on her life, her world, and her psyche.
What will she do with it? Will
she try futilely to live out her life as normally as possible? Will she follow Rex’s advice and banish
herself to the woods of Winscott? Or
will she take Mouse’s route and travel the world in search of glory and
acceptance on her terms? Will she be
corrupted by that power? Will she
abandon her old self and her old habits?
Will she refuse a cure if presented one?
Will she resent the tiny, judgmental people around her? Will she reject the friends that, ostensibly,
are trying to use her as their puppet? There
are a lot of decisions she has to make, and she’ll have to make them fast --
especially if she wants to keep her friends by her side. You can bet your sweet bippy that Kitty will
have to make plenty of tough choices, plenty of mistakes, and plenty of
disasters.
With all that said,
this wouldn’t be a 100% serious movie.
Not even close.
There’s an inherent
silliness to the whole concept. The
premise is basically “A single woman looking to make it in the big city…EXCEPT
SHE’S HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGE!” There are ways
to investigate its themes and effects with a bit of decorum, as there should be
-- but this wouldn’t be a muted drama.
Squeezing out funny dialogue and reactions would be part and parcel, but
the situation itself would offer some off-the-wall moments. For example, maybe she’s gotten so heavy that
every time she walks through the street she shoves her foot through the road
and into the sewers. Or maybe -- under
Mouse’s orders -- she tries to outrace a bus.
And there’s always the question of what happens when she needs to use
the bathroom, prompting an aside glance to the audience and scene change. It becomes a running gag that grows steadily
more extensive, to the point where the question draws an aside glance from
every character. And extras. And a cat for good measure.
So yes, depth and
levity wouldn’t be mutually exclusive elements.
You don’t have to trade comedy for competence, either -- so let it be
known that the camp and general badness of the other movies would be flung into
the ether. And while we’re on the
subject, anyone who thinks that it’s all right to make the joke about “a hot
dog in a hallway” or “spelunking” or “putting on a wetsuit” or just simply proposing a scene where she's topless/offers full frontal nudity will immediately
have a sledgehammer applied to their temporal lobes. Let’s have a little class here, people. Just a little.
Step Six: The Fights
Heh heh…no, just
kidding. All the fights would be pretty
one-sided, so there’s not much reason for there to be any epic clashes.
Still, it’s likely that
some form of action would be required; like I said, my problems with the other
movies was that the fifty-foot woman didn’t do much besides a very half-hearted
“attack”. Question is, what’s she
supposed to do, if not fight a similarly-empowered lass? Well, if Django
Unchained and Ace Attorney have
taught me anything, it’s that conflict doesn’t necessarily have to involve
fists, guns, or swords. Example: what if
Kitty, panicked thanks to being in the midst of a sudden growth spurt, tries
running away from the police? It could
show very easily just how dangerous she can be if she doesn’t control herself,
as well as show the sheer destructive power she’s gained.
Or like I said earlier,
maybe she decides to scale a building to save a child surrounded by fire; it’d
be the perfect way to ape King Kong
(man, I’m really going to town on the bad puns today) and make things tense on
a different axis; in the same sense that her size gives her new abilities, it
has its drawbacks. Does she have the
delicate touch to find a missing child?
Can she brave the flames? Can the
building withstand her weight? And is
she gentle enough to grab the kid without squeezing him like a tube of
toothpaste? Those are all answers that’d
reveal themselves before the viewers’ eyes.
Barring that, we could just go for the expected route and have Kitty go
on a street-stomping, building-ramming, bus-tossing rampage. That IS what people expect, isn’t it?
So there’s potential to
be had on that front. Still, it’s
important to make a very clear distinction.
And that is…
Step Seven: The Actual Movie Stuff
If Michael Bay’s Transformers movies can show Chicago
getting destroyed (and fill up its run-time with nigh-indistinguishable CG
whirligigs), then I’m pretty damn sure that making a normal woman look ten
times bigger would be a piece of cake.
Now, to be fair, I’m guessing there would be the problem of having Kitty
interact with other characters (convincingly, at least), and there’s the issue
of getting the right camera perspective at the right time. But I don’t think it’s impossible. Movie magic and ingenuity have done some
fantastic things in the past, so there’s no reason why a sufficiently-funded
studio can’t offer something substantial.
But in order to be substantial, it has to offer more
than just going “Okay, we got your CG right here; take your giant woman, and
give us your money!” Story elements will
help, but since it’s a visual medium, we need sensory details. Weight.
Impact. I’ve spoken about the
“impact factor” in games in passing, but for argument’s sake I’ll go ahead and
give a primer on the concept. In an
audiovisual medium like movies and games (though not strictly limited to either
of those; I’d wager you could pull it off fairly well in a book), the audience
needs to be able to feel the weight, pressure, and force behind heavy items or
actions. There are lots of ways to pull
it off, but let’s go with the remarkably-appropriate Shadow of the Colossus as an example:
Based on that video, I
can pinpoint a few elements that emphasize just how much impact (and by
extension how much size and power) the colossus has: vibration, delay,
anticipation,
and echo. We get vibration in its footsteps and strikes, and we see
audiovisual confirmation that its steps alone are enough to shake the
world. We get delay in the sense that --
direct hit or not -- there’s a pause in the action that lets our brains process
the motion. That leads to anticipation; whether it’s winding up
for the final blow or beginning its death-dealing motion, it’s anticipation
that creates almost tactile effects -- and engraves the memory of you going “OH
SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-” even though all you’re doing is watching. And of course, there’s the echo -- the sound effects that ring true
and affect you on levels conscious and subconscious. Quaking earth, shattering bones, warping
steal, what have you; there’s a sound that can be attributed to, and quickly
defines, the impact factor.
And that’s exactly what
the movie -- what Kitty needs. She can’t
just look big. She has to -- HAS TO --
feel big. It’ll require impeccable sound
design to be sure, but judicious use of the impact factor is a must. So I say this: make her slower. Make her motions slow and ponderous. Give every step she takes a reaction, a
consequence, an imprint on the world around her. Play with her voice a little; make it
slightly slower, slightly louder, and slightly deeper -- not enough to
distract, but juuuuuuuuuuust enough
to emphasize her bigness. If she
sneezes, make glass shatter. If she
bends something and drops it to the ground, have her warp it with plenty of
screeching sounds (bonus points for showing her exerting effort), and drop it
with a crash. And if she falls, make it
like a big damn thunderclap. You could
even cap off a trailer with her falling; make it look like some epic disaster,
but in reality it’s just her tripping onto her face and going “ow.” Boom -- it’s levity. And it’s impact.
Now with that out of
the way, let’s talk actors. Keep in mind
that this is my first time attributing actors and actresses to certain roles, so
give me a little leeway here, and offer your own suggestions in the comments of
need be. First off, let’s try giving the
lead role to Miss Emma Stone. (It was
going to be Ellen Page at first, but I changed my mind; besides, the actress
who played Shadowcat in the X-Men
movies? That’s a little on the nose,
eh?) That husky voice of hers could do
well to convincingly play a noticeably-taller-than-average woman -- and by the
looks of things, she can run the gamut from compassionate to delightfully awkward. Given her filmography, she’s a shoo-in for comedic bits.
Next, let’s have Rex
played by Jenna-Louise Coleman. If what I’ve heard of her is correct, she can mix a bit of seriousness (and stiffness)
with fun and energy. Also, DAT ACCENT. Because as you know, British
accents make everything better.
Now let’s mix things up
a bit by throwing in a black guy. I
imagine Mouse can easily be played by Tyler James Williams, who’s made a name
for himself by playing as the often put-upon, occasionally-wacky Chris Rock. Granted I have a better impression of him
playing the straight man in his most famous work, Everybody Hates Chris -- and the fact that post-puberty he had a
deeper voice than the man he's based on -- but I think he can do some real good work if
given the chance.
And finally, let’s have
Gary Oldman! Because…Gary Oldman! He’ll fit in there somewhere. Because I’ll be damned if Commissioner Gordon isn’t in a movie heavily-influenced
by me.
Step Eight: Franchise Baiting
It goes without saying
that this is supposed to be a standalone movie, but in the interest of ticking
the box (and ensuring the “headache powder” train that Hollywood holds so dear
continues chugging), let’s go ahead and play devil’s advocate here.
Like I said before,
there’s no clear cause as to what caused Kitty’s growth spurt in the first
place; by movie’s end, everyone is about ready to chalk it up to a
mutation. That is, as far as anyone can
tell there IS no external cause. Kitty’s
genes were just destined to allow and facilitate that growth…which makes one
wonder it it’s really just an isolated incident, or if it’s entirely possible
that others could carry the same genetic time bomb. Boom.
That’s one plot thread right there.
The next step in aiming
for a sequel? The continuation of
Kitty’s story, if need be. This is a
movie about decisions, and the ending will be determined largely by the ones
Kitty makes. In the end, will she opt
for order, or chaos? Compassionate
constraint, or unfettered freedom? Will
she remain in the metropolis she’s come to love and destroy it with her
presence alone? Or will she exile
herself to the verdant realms of Winscott, where she’ll have free reign? Will she be able to keep a bond with Rex and
Mouse, and by extension keep the two together?
Or are the three of them destined to have their relationship fall
apart? Will she agree to go with Mouse
on a cross-country tour to a deranged scientist’s house in search of a cure
that likely doesn’t exist? Or will she
side with Rex, and vanish from the world in exchange for an even more isolated home? Will Kitty remain the innocent, friendly
waitress scaled up by a multiplier of ten?
Or will she do what’s expected of her, go on the attack, and never look
back?
Those are all questions
that can -- and should -- be answered by the end of the first movie. But should Hollywood come a-knocking for some
sweet, sweet, sequel dollars, there are opportunities. It’s one thing to make a decision, but it’s
another to live with the consequences. Maybe
Kitty will decide that she made the wrong choice, and opt for something
new. Maybe she’ll get called to action,
either in her home or somewhere far, far away.
Maybe she’ll get into a tussle with King Kong. Who the hell knows? But what’s important is that there are possibilities -- events and
circumstances that can not only expand upon the original movie’s ideas, but
send the narrative down new, unexpected, and high-quality roads.
And that’s really what
it’s all about, isn’t it? Quality.
You can turn any idea, any concept, and any theme into a good story…that
is, as long as you do it adroitly. There’s nothing wrong with having a little
fun with your story, but you have to treat it with the respect it
deserves. Low expectations and
historical precedents are no reason to churn out garbage; if anything, the
reverse is true. If I can sit here and
type up a document that explores (theoretically) good alternatives, then
there’s no reason why someone with talent, resources, and a clear head can’t do
the same, if not better. So come
on. Why not try to teach an old dog some
new tricks?
Remember, Hollywood --
I’m always ready to do a little discussing.
I’ve got a blog. Got a Twitter
page. Got a Facebook fan page. You know what to do…or, you know, don’t. That’s cool, too. I’ll just write my own story, and make every
third male character look like Gary Oldman.
...You know what? Screw it. I'm gonna make Too Many Gary Oldmans! into the next great cinematic tour de force.
Somehow I think the only Hollywood directors who'd want to make a movie like that are either Sam Reimi or Peter Jackson... and to be honest, I haven't been a fan of their work for a while now
ReplyDeleteYou could do a lot worse than either of them, at the very least.
ReplyDeleteThat aside, I should probably start thinking about who would be the director the next time I do one of these posts (and of course, there will be a next time). Though if it comes down to it, I'll probably mention that it would be the director at his highest point/prime, instead of more recent failings. Kind of like I'm tugging them through time, you know?
I added this onto my weekly round-up.
ReplyDeleteI love Gary Oldman! MAKE MOAR!
ReplyDeleteAll in all, I have to say, I think a 50-foot woman would be a little scary... I hope she isn't wearing a dress or a skirt, because not everybody in the city wants such a fine view... Hahaha :)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b0ahW0swF0g
ReplyDeleteMaybe someday, Too Many Gary Oldmans! will indeed become a reality. Who's to say, really? To predict a blogger's whim is like trying to hold the wind between one's fingertips...
ReplyDeleteHonestly, though? I don't think a 50-foot woman would be that bad. I mean, think about it: you can reason with her a lot easier than you could, say, Godzilla or King Kong. She's got needs and emotions, so you can cater to them more easily. Plus I bet she'd bring her rampage to a full stop if you offered her a giant pair of pants.
Unless she's the confident sort who doesn't mind all the attention. In which case, reality itself is doomed.
~Haha, you should watch `Dude, where`s my car?` http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0242423/ if you haven`t already! They have a giant alien chick at the ending of the show!!
ReplyDeleteLove the movie idea too, especially the character Mouse. One does not simply not like the character who believes in alien influence on humanity. I keep imagining Rex as a dude when I read though, probably because I watched Generator Rex last year.
And OMG Gary Oldman!! Too Many Gary Oldmans! is a movie i`d definitely go to the cinemas to watch like a gazillion times!!!!
"Wow! Morphing is COOL!" I can't help but think of that movie now and then...especially given that the solution to encounters with a gargantuan fusion of an alien quintet is to banish them to New Jersey. Vital knowledge, without a doubt.
ReplyDeleteIn any case, it's good to hear that you enjoyed Mouse. If you're familiar with my work, you may know that I'm unable to write a story without at least one wacky character; it may seem strange at first glance, but think about it -- don't we all know AT LEAST one person whose quirkiness defies belief? I sure do; truth is stranger than fiction, as they say.
Also, you're not the first to want more Gary Oldman. I was just joking around a little, but maybe I've got something good on my hands...
Let's hope she wants the pant!
ReplyDeleteDude, these articles keep getting better. MOAR how to make a good movie stuff!
ReplyDeleteYou want more? Oh, trust me, you'll get more. I've been thinking about one in particular that might be preeeeeeeeeetty interesting...
ReplyDeleteGood ideas. The effect must be super realistic. You can have all types of giantess movies with much interaction in it. Throwing cars and big animals and people around. Swimming next to whales en sharks just the emphasize the bigness. Ginormica from Monsters vs Aliens deserves a real movie and Robotech/Macross needs real life serie/movie with lots of giantess alien women in them with lot of action.
ReplyDeleteTo be fair, I'm pretty sure there's a Monsters vs. Aliens TV series, so I'd assume that there's something interesting done there -- lots of fun with scale and (animated) props, I'd bet. And while it'd be nice to see Robotech get some love, the thought of a live-action movie gives me the chills. Something tells me it would be on par with, or worse than, Dragonball Evolution. Just typing that name made me shudder...
ReplyDeleteYou maybe right about Robotech and Dragonball is a disaster. But Ginormica deserves a good movie(s). The TV series Monsters vs Aliens is horrible. It's written for 3 year olds. M vs A had some of the most beautiful effects for a giantess movie. Too bad they were to short. Ginormica is already a known character, so people will take it more seriously than a title like, "Attack of the 50 foot woman" of "Attack of the 50 foot cheerleader". For a movie about Ginormica(Susan Murphy) you could get a large budget for good special effects. You won't get that with Attack of the 50 foot cheerleader because the name suggest a comedy or corny movie. "The life of Susan Murphy" or something along those lines sounds better.
ReplyDeleteThe series is terrible, huh? What a shame. The movie was pretty solid, if I remember correctly -- but I guess the change of hands and to jump to the smaller screen didn't do the canon any favors.
ReplyDeleteActually, that is a pretty good point about the titles. Attack of the blah-de-blah-de-blah doesn't exactly roll off the tongue, now does it? Then again, if recent movie/TV trends are to be kept in mind, it'd probably end up with one of those one-word titles that are all the rage. Lost, Fringe, Revenge, Prometheus, Priest, Legion...and...uh...that's all I've got right now.
Probably should have thought up some more examples before I brought that up. But whatever. Forethought? Research? The edit button? Bah! Who needs them?
You must see the works of Tywest studios, his works could give you ideas. His poser stuff and real life giantess film stuff is great.
ReplyDeleteHere also a link to Ultimate Girls series for ideas. What I like about the 100 foot(33 meters) blue giantess is that she is totally fine with it and enjoys being big and having strenght.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2WFDMuDGpSQ