Trixie could only stare
blankly at the two Hoigleheimers. JP,
with hands crammed in his front pockets, rapped a toe against the sidewalk; he
locked eyes with her a few times, but more often than not looked up at his dad
with a nasty scowl. Not that Patton
noticed; he just stood in front of the rec center’s door with arms folded, as
if acting as its bouncer (though incidentally, those that tried to exit the Z
couldn’t, and just scurried away at the sight of him).
And all the while, Mrs.
Overdose stared at the lot of them, gnawing on her reed. “What the hell are we supposed to be doin’?”
“Well, I was hopin’ for
some answers, but…” Trixie rubbed the
back of her neck. “The way things’re
lookin’, I’m startin’ to think maybe I shouldn’t have asked.”
JP looked up at the
sky. “Makes no difference to me. If you want to know, then I’ll --”
“No. Not yet, son.” Patton held a forearm that could stop a tiger
in front of JP. “It’s not time yet. We have to wait till the time is right.”
“Fine.” He tapped his heel against the concrete, and
rustled his hands through his jacket’s pockets.
“So Lloyd --”
“Not yet.”
“But --”
“Not yet.”
JP groaned and glared
at a few shrubs. Trixie hummed a bit, as
if she wanted to start talking -- but instead she just sniffled a bit and
coughed. Mrs. Overdose looked about
ready to deck the next person that walked by.
“…Okay, that’s enough
dramatic tension. Now you can talk.”
“The High Tide Park…ya
mean that place on the coast with the Ferris wheel and junk?” Trixie’s eyebrows shot up. “But it’s all a buncha scrap and water now,
right? What’s he doin’? I’m damn sure he don’t know how to
swim.”
“Well, like I said, I
don’t know what he does for sure, but I guess it’s not exactly my place to
pry. I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t like the
answer, anyway, so I’ll leave him be and go about my day as planned.” He glanced at the Z’s entrance. “Or maybe not.”
“No. We’ll just call it a day and head home,” said
Patton (with a sigh of relief from the sidelined Mrs. Overdose). “Best if we have the full set before we start
your swimming lessons; we should all learn at the same pace so Lloyd won’t have
to play catch-up.”
“So what, after all the
work we went through to try and get here, ya wanna leave now? Ya wanna try riskin’ another trip and another disaster?!”
Trixie yelled -- but as soon as she remembered who she was talking to, she
clasped her hands and started fidgeting.
“S-sir.”
“Mmmm…well, I guess if
you could convince him to come back, then we could start today. I don’t know if he’d be willing to leave, but
if you’re in the mood to try, go right ahead.”
He gestured toward the front door.
“The three of us will wait inside.
Take as much time as you need; we’ll be rooting for you from here.”
“You don’t know me very
well, do you?” JP grumbled.
But of course, Trixie
and the others ignored him. “Don’t worry
‘bout a thing, Mr. Hoigleheimer, sir.
I’ll bring Lloyd back here lickety-split -- and before ya know it, all
o’ y’all are gonna be some real swimmers.”
Even as she spoke she’d broken into a quick trot -- and with a wave and
a smile, she turned her back on them and dashed through the streets.
“…You think she’ll be
able to bring him back?”
Patton folded his arms
and shrugged. “She’s got moxie. So I’d say she’s got a pretty good shot at
it.”
“Moxie, huh?” JP sighed.
“Yeah. I guess so.”
“ Well, you two sure
got gloomy quick.”
JP and Patton turned to
Mrs. Overdose, who twisted her reed carelessly through her mouth. “Then again, I can’t say I blame either of
you. ‘Cause by the sound of things, the
kid’s got every reason to head to that park every year. Am I right?”
Patton’s hair bristled,
while JP tossed up his arms. “So this is
what it’s like to be around someone smart for once…can’t say it’s too
pleasant.”
“It’s not about bein’
smart. Dogs do all their work by
sniffin’ piss and butts; it’s all about findin’ a smell and followin’ through
-- and you Hoigleheimer jokers have been leavin’ some pretty foul odors since
day one.” She furrowed her brow and
glanced aside. “Or whatever day it is.”
“So what’re you gonna
do about it?” Patton asked.
“Nothin’. Just thought I’d let you two know that I’m in
on what’s goin’ on.” She twiddled with
the reed and looked at a passing cloud.
“Look. I ain’t about to go pryin’
into matters that don’t concern me, and I’m pretty friggin’ sure I won’t like
what I hear anyway. But just ‘cause you
can hide things from Scarlett O’Hara doesn’t mean you can hide ‘em from me.”
She turned to the
Hoigleheimers. “The kid’s my
servant. And if you can’t fix him, then
I sure as hell will.”
Patton stared down Mrs.
Overdose, who stared right back up at him.
But after a full minute, he relaxed a few hairs and hummed. “Suit yourself, ma’am.”
“Yeah, I plan to. I ain’t in the mood to have a servant that’s
any more whacked in the head than he already is.” She pointed toward the door. “So can we go inside now, please? I’m about to freeze my legs off over here --
and I dunno if you noticed, but I kinda need those.”
“Don’t worry. I’ll get you nice and warm again -- and you
won’t even have to use your legs.” And
without another word, Patton scooped her up and flung her onto his shoulder -- and
held her in place as if strutting through the streets with a boom box. “Come on.
I bet there’s a spa you can use in there.”
“You sasquatch-looking
son of a bitch! I don’t wanna get in any
water!” Mrs. Overdose snapped. But with
little success; Patton just carried her into the Z, unfazed by her rapid
thrashing.
“Go easy on those old
bones of hers, Dad,” said JP, following behind with a muted chuckle.
*
The ocean waves
splashed against the coast, eagerly cleaning the sands of unwanted snow. And they did so with neither complaint nor
admiration; the street that looked over the coast had long since cleared,
without a single patron greeting its long-closed -- and occasionally boarded-up
-- shops. An unsurprising turn, given
the shoddy view: the wreckage of High Tide Park, its broken planks and warped
steel, jutted out from the waters like a crumpled sheet of paper. The most attention it had received was some
cursory construction work -- striped barricades and machines surrounded it, but
foul weather or not they hardly looked to have gotten much use.
Trixie walked through
the street while rubbing the back of her neck.
Between the cold, the quiet, the wintry grayness, and the wreckage, she
wouldn’t have blamed someone for getting a little melancholy. But of course, in spite of that she caught a
glimpse of Lloyd sitting on a bench, acting as sentry -- and smiling as
always. “So yer folks were right. This is where ya ran off to, pal.”
Lloyd nodded slowly,
hands clasped and body leaning forward.
“You can consider it a ritual of mine, Miss Walters. Though I should probably apologize for making
you come so far in the cold just for me.”
He turned toward her. “Why are
you here, exactly?”
“To teach ya how to
swim.”
“Oh. Well, I don’t suppose there’s a chance we can
delay until tomorrow, is there? I’m
afraid I may be busy here for a while yet.”
“Busy? All yer doin’ is sittin’ here and starin’
into space!”
“Not true. I’m also smiling.”
Trixie pressed a palm
to her forehead.
“But of course, I’m
here for other reasons,” Lloyd said with a quick laugh. He turned back to the ocean. “I was hoping that I could give my regards to
the park. A sort of…how should I put
this? Giving it good news, and better
feelings.”
“So ya were talkin’ to
the park?”
“Not talking, per
se. Thinking is more appropriate. I think.
Think. Heh heh, wordplay.” He shook his head and wore a wistful
smile. “Honestly? I have a certain belief in mind: if one
focuses hard enough, and devotes themselves to the task, then it may very well
be possible to transmit one’s feelings across impassable borders -- and all of
it, without a word spoken.”
“So what, it’s like…I
dunno, telepathy or somethin’?”
“Well, I’m not much in
the way of science, but it’s entirely possible.
Especially now.” Lloyd looked
down at his mitten-shrouded hands. “I’ve
awakened to a marvelous gift -- the power to touch one’s heart, and affect it
for the better. So it follows that if I
focus intently, I should be able to create some unique effects even without physical
contact. A mere theory, of course, but I
suspect that it’s one that holds water.”
He snickered a little. “Water. And look where we are; my, oh my, I am on
quite the roll today!”
“Uh, sure.” She scratched at her cheek. “But I guess it’s possible for ya, ain’t
it? Ya got those weird powers now, so
maybe ya can do it. Ya got a much better
shot at it than I do, at least.”
But Lloyd shook his
head. “You misunderstand me, Miss
Walters. My power is a conduit, or an
aid -- not the deciding factor. Anyone
can do what I aim to do, so long as they focus their heart and mind on the
task. It’s less a matter of psychic
ability and more of human potential. A
basic ability, as it were.”
“Ya think so, huh?”
“Of course. Think about it: hasn’t there ever been a time
when you wanted someone to know how you feel?
A desire so earnest and desperate, it overpowers you? So fierce and heated, it nearly brings you to
your knees?”
“Uh…well…I dunno if I’d
go that far, but…” Trixie looked over
her shoulder; somewhere in the distance stood the rec center -- and with it,
her students-to-be. “I was hopin’ I could get this thing done
sooner instead o’ later, ya know? I
mean, ya took me into yer home and treated me like family; it just ain’t right
for me to let all this time pass and not do a thing to repay ya. I mean…well, I…”
“You want us to know
how you feel, yes? JP especially?”
“Yeah, that’s -- wait,
what?!”
Lloyd turned to her
with eyes wide. “Oh, haven’t I told
you? I honestly believe that you and JP
would make a fantastic pair of
lovers.”
Trixie turned a shade
of red that was once thought theoretical.
“A-are ya kiddin’ me, pal? I’m
about ten years older than him! And two
feet taller! And I’m pretty damn sure he
hates me -- and everyone, while we’re at it!”
“Hmmm. That’s true, I suppose. But still, one can’t help but wonder; love
works in mysterious ways, as they say.”
“Lloyd, ya know there
are laws against what yer talkin’
about, right?”
Lloyd chuckled to
himself and shrugged, and stared at the ocean once more. “Do you mind if I do a bit of proselytizing,
Miss Walters? I have a theory of sorts
-- one that I’ve been aiming to prove for years with these yearly visits.”
“Go ahead.”
“I believe -- I really,
truly believe -- that a strong heart can transcend all borders. To spread and release emotions that can
change the world…to relay messages rife with passion and fervor…to shake one’s
soul, one’s ideals, and one’s world with a single pulsation…in the end, that is
what I strive to prove. I want it to
become the truth we all live by, and the means by which we connect from here
on.”
“A world of love.”
Lloyd nodded. “A lofty goal, to be sure. And growing ever loftier. Because if I can’t prove it to myself, how
can I even begin to prove it to others?”
“Lloyd…” Trixie lowered her eyes, and pressed her lips
together. She would have figured that at
this point, Lloyd -- in all his insanity and zeal -- would have become
predictable. Easy to peg, and even
easier to dismiss. But by the day, he
seemed more and more incomprehensible.
The holidays had proven that, but left dozens of doors open all the
same. How much work had gone into giving
his friends and family those gifts? How
much had he sacrificed to see smiles on their faces? How long had he gone on like this, from his
blaring passion to his soft humility?
And worst of all…
She took a seat next to
him, and stared at the ocean. “Lloyd…are
ya really tryin’ to tell the park how ya feel?
Or is it someone out there?”
Lloyd gave a curt laugh
and hung his head. “Five years. I’ve come here and spent a full winter day
here for five years, yet you’re the first who’s actually asked me that.”
“Look, I --”
“I have a few rules
I’ve chosen to live by, Miss Walters -- and well among them is a simple
order. Never lie.” He turned toward her, his smile -- and his
eyes, in turn -- growing weary. “If you
want the truth, then I would gladly tell you.”
But before Lloyd could
say another word, Trixie shook her head.
“Don’t matter to me,” she explained, wearing her own gentle smile. “Look.
I ain’t about to pry into yer past, and I ain’t about to get in too deep
askin’ ya why ya do what ya do. ‘Cause
ya know what? I’m startin’ to think that
it’s not all that important.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. Sometimes it’s not about why ya do somethin’,
but what ya do. And what yer doin’ --
all that yer plannin’ on doin’ -- is what’s important. Ya got a goal in mind, and yer goin’ for it
with all yer heart. And yer doin’ it
just so ya can make lotsa people happy.
If that’s not somethin’ to be proud of, then I dunno what is.” She patted a hand against Lloyd’s
shoulder. “Ya say that ‘a strong heart
transcends all borders’, right? Well, ya
got more than enough proof already.
‘Cause ya been touchin’ my heart, day after day.”
“Miss Walters…”
A part of her expected
Lloyd to break into the usual histrionics.
Part of her figured he’d start doing a little dance, and break into song
soon after. And of course, she couldn’t
shake the thought of him going for a hug, and burying his face in her
chest. But she’d forgotten the
realization she’d come to just minutes ago.
Lloyd was
unpredictable.
He leaned back in the
bench and stared at the sky, wearing a slight but content smile on his
face. And as he did, a tear rolled down
his cheek. “Thank you. Thank you so, so much.”
Trixie reeled in shock,
but only for a moment. “Anytime, Lloyd.”
They stayed in place
for a moment and looked out to the ocean; its sloshing motions soothed them,
and very nearly lulled them to sleep.
Because of those frothy splashes, it took Lloyd a full minute to realize
the tears on his face -- and just how cold they got in the winter. “Oh.
This is a bit unsightly of me,” he said as he rubbed his cheeks
dry. “It’s hardly befitting of a man to
show his emotions -- at least, if most movies are to be believed.”
“Don’t worry about
it. Lotsa girls like it when guys’re
sensitive.”
“Is that so? I see…so are you one of them?”
“…Well, I guess I
should be gettin’ outta here. I know ya
got a lotta thinkin’ to do, so I’ll give ya some space.” She stood up and rubbed the back of her
neck. “Kinda sucks that we’re losin’
another day o’ swimmin’ lessons, but that’s all right. ‘Sides, I should probably round ‘em up ‘fore
they do anythin’ too crazy…again.”
“No need for that.”
Lloyd and Trixie looked
to the right -- and sure enough, JP, Patton, and Mrs. Overdose stood in the
street. “We got tired of waiting, so we
decided to check on you,” JP explained.
“You know. Just to make sure Lloyd
didn’t drown or anything. Isn’t that
right?”
Patton folded his
arms. “Mmmm…no, that’s not it at
all. You wanted to come see Lloyd and
Trixie again, right?”
“No! Wrong!
All wrong!” JP stamped against the ground. “We discussed this already, remember? Grandma, back me up here!”
Mrs. Overdose twiddled
her reed. “Yeah. JP here got all worried and lonely, so he
wanted to see you two troublemakers. He
just couldn’t do without you, even for a little while. It’s almost kinda cute”
“Damn it, that’s not
what we --”
“We’re all right with
not learnin’ how to swim today -- or any day for that matter, but that’s just
me. Still…” She looked coolly at Patton and JP, and
Trixie and Lloyd. “No matter where we
are, we shouldn’t be happy till we’ve got the full set.”
Patton nodded in
agreement, while JP grumbled and shifted his hands around his pockets. “I’m surrounded by idiots,” he grumbled. “But if I didn’t have idiots to look after,
then who would I have left?
Friends? Please.”
“Hope you don’t mind,
Lloyd,” said Patton. “But it looks like
this year, you got a few guests to entertain.”
Lloyd laughed to
himself. “Not at all. Honestly, I can’t think of a better way to
celebrate the coming of the New Year. So
I’m more than willing to make a few changes to tradition -- especially one as
beneficial as this.” He spread out his
arms. “Gather round, all. Let’s make this eve a merry one.”
The group shuffled
toward Lloyd, and took their positions around the bench. Patton leaned against a wall with arms
folded, acting as sentry once more; JP took a seat next to Lloyd on the bench,
reddening a bit as Trixie plopped down next to him; Mrs. Overdose leaned
against the bench’s flank, staring at the sea without a care in the
world…though for nanoseconds at a time, it looked as if she had a smile on her
face.
“…It’s cold out here,”
said JP.
“Mmmm. But you’ve gotta brave it, son -- it’s a
surefire way to make you a man.”
“Can’t I become a man
by becoming a CEO or something?”
“Maybe. But only of your company makes something
delicious.”
Mrs. Overdose raised an
eyebrow. “Sooooooooooo…what’re we doin’
here, exactly?”
“Thinkin’,” Trixie
answered. “Send yer good feelings out to
sea. Let the park know that ya got a
beatin’ heart inside ya.”
“Wow. This sounds like a fantastic way to spend a
holiday. Then again, it beats swimmin’,
so I guess I shouldn’t complain.” Her
lips tightened. “But damn it, when this
is over, I want my friggin’ foot rub.”
“And you’ll receive it
-- that, I promise you,” said Lloyd.
“But for the moment, it’s best to focus your mind. Speak with your heart. Tell the park, the sea, and the world exactly
what you want to.” He grinned, and
looked back at his friends. “And who
knows? Maybe those feelings won’t just
stay with the park. Maybe those feelings
will keep on going -- and they’ll reach the heart of someone far, far away.”
“You think so, huh?”
“I do, milady.” Lloyd stared at the sea’s horizon. “All it takes is a bit of passion.”
“Passion, huh…?” Mrs.
Overdose followed Lloyd’s gaze. As did
Patton. As did Trixie. As did JP.
And they didn’t say
another word. They just stared at the
sea.
January 1st
Lloyd rubbed his hands
together and grinned. “And now, the time
has finally arrived! Mermen of the deep,
you’d best stow your daughters -- Lloyd B. Hoigleheimer will soon be at your
doorstep!”
“Mmmm,” Patton hummed
as he steered across soaked roads.
“Careful, though; fish have a lot of tiny bones you can choke on.”
With his arms folded
(and furious yet again that he’d lost the window seat), JP tapped against the
floor. “I hate to break it to you, but
we’re not exactly in The Little Mermaid
here. Don’t expect to find anything but
some nasty creatures. And crushing
pressure. I’m also kind of curious to
hear how exactly you plan on getting that far out to sea.”
“Hey, come on. Isn’t it obvious? Lloyd’ll be able to swim there -- ‘specially
after I’m done with him.” Trixie laughed
a bit. “Course, I ain’t about to tell
him to go swimmin’ cross the ocean, but ya get the idea.”
“Who the hell would
want to try that, anyway?” Mrs. Overdose asked.
“A normal pool is bad enough; you’d have to be packin’ boulders in your
shorts to try and go past the coast.”
“Would you accept rocks
in the skull?” JP asked.
“Guess it could go both
ways.”
Lloyd stroked his
chin. “So the key to courage is to
substitute an organ for some manner of stone -- preferably of prodigious
size. Duly noted.”
“If you need me to lift
some big rocks, I’d be glad to lend a hand, son.”
“Ah, I can always count
on you, father dear! Now then, who among
you will perform the surgery? Someone
with a delicate hand would be much-preferred!”
JP groaned. “This conversation has gone on for way too
long.”
“Pay me enough, and
I’ll do it,” said Mrs. Overdose. “All I
need are a bunch of knives, some rubber gloves, and a lot of paper towels.”
“Don’t encourage him!”
“What? I’m not allowed to tell a joke?”
“You don’t know what
this moron is capable of! He might
actually do it, you know!”
“Ya ain’t gotta worry
about Lloyd gettin’ any surgery, pal.”
Trixie pointed out the window; the Z stood before them, and Patton
brought the van to a halt with a parking job to die for. “All he needs is trainin’ and skill -- and
I’m gonna give him both. That goes for
all o’ ya. I’ll be glad to show ya how
we do things down in Rockwood.”
Mrs. Overdose swished
her reed around. “Does it involve banjos
and inbreeding?”
“What the hell kinda
place d’ya think Rockwood is?”
“…A place where you can
marry your cousins?”
“She’s got you there,
Tex,” JP chimed in.
“Well, let her
talk. ‘Cause pretty soon, all y’all
non-swimmers are gonna have a LOT more respect for Rockwood.” The group slid out of the van and started for
the front door. “Hope y’all are
ready. After today, yer lives’re never
gonna be the same again.”
“I should think so,”
said Lloyd. “There are mermaids that I’m
eager to meet.”
“And sharks that I’m
eager to eat,” Patton added. “You don’t
think mermaids care about that kind of thing, do you?”
“I would have assumed
that sharks are to the ocean what criminals are to the land. Of course, undersea law is a subject I’m
remarkably unfamiliar with.”
It just keeps goin’ and goin’, Trixie thought as Lloyd pondered the
existence of a seahorse constitution.
Even so, she couldn’t help but smile.
It’s all right with me,
though. These guys’re always gonna make
life more interestin’.
And I’ll be sure to do the same for them.
The group walked into
the Z, ready to start their training.
They stepped through the lobby, hoping to get changed and begin in
earnest. That is, until…
“Hey, this health drink
is pretty good! What’s in it?”
“Oh, you didn’t
know? It’s made with all-natural
artichokes.”
Patton swiveled his
head around and started twitching.
“Artichokes…?”
Ten minutes later, the
rec center collapsed.
*
“And so, after weeks of
traversing the harsh wilderness without so much as a peep from the outside
world, we emerged from the forest at last,” said Chet, propping his feet up on
the news desk. “We were weary, weathered,
and forever doomed to carry a piece of that forest within us. But in spite of that, the moment we could see
the sun again I turned toward her, got down on one knee, and said, ‘Baby…we’re
through. It’s not me, it’s you. It could never be me. Now, I know you might be a little confused,
and maybe a little bitter because for the first week you had to carry me on
your back like a majestic wolverine caring for its children -- probably -- but
one day I’ll look back on this little experience and laugh. I don’t know what you’re going to do, but I
guess I’ll never find out. See ya,
toots.’ Ah, what a great winter that
was.”
“He does know we’re on the air, right?” the
cameraman whispered.
The intern could only
nod. “He said he wanted to ‘show his
real self’ to his ‘adoring’ ‘fans’.”
“And that’ll just about
close the book on one of Chet’s Chapters.
Now let’s have a look at that news.”
He rolled his legs off the desk and assumed a more professional posture…only
to start stroking his hair. “Well, there’s
not much to say, is there? The rec
center fell apart, five people are missing, and that’s all there is to it. So without further ado, let’s have another
look at the fascinating life of your
one and only Chet Levitin.”
“He is derailing hard,” said the intern. “Should we cut to commercial?”
“Can we do that? I mean…wait, do you hear something?”
“Now that you mention
it, it sounds like there’s something rumbling.
But what do you think it --”
Ka-EXPLOSIVE ENTRANCE
STRAIGHT OUTTA THE KOOL-AID MAN’S HANDBOOK!
The entire back wall of
the set exploded, sending Chet flying ten feet -- and then skidding across the
floor face-first. Planks and wires and
lights dangled from the ceiling over the wreckage; it was just a miracle that a
fire didn’t start from all the sparks that sprayed about. And the cause of the chaos? A beat-up van, half-lodged in the wall at an
acute angle.
And of course, Patton
came crawling out first. “Keep the
camera rolling,” he ordered.
Any intention of
helping Chet recover vanished; the cameraman snapped back into position, and
the intern couldn’t bring herself to even flinch.
JP slid out of the
van. “You know, I’m pretty sure this is
the complete opposite of ‘laying low
for a while’. But you know what? It’s cool.
It’s fine. I was just thinking to myself, ‘Gee, I’d sure
love to get arrested today!’”
“What’s done is done,
son. Besides, we can’t leave Porbeagle
without doing the right thing.”
Mrs. Overdose climbed
out next, scratching absentmindedly at her crown. “I still don’t think I follow what we’re
supposed to be doin’. So what, we just
do our thing and leave? How do we do
that?”
“Exit strategies are
not this family’s forte,” said JP.
Trixie patted a hand
against JP’s shoulder and smiled. “If ya
keep worryin’ all the time, yer gonna miss out on a lotta the finer stuff in
life, pal. Just deal with it -- as long
as yer hangin’ out with the rest o’ us, yer life’s never gonna make any sense.” She glanced aside. “I sure figured that out fast.”
“Like I need a
greenhorn like you telling me that.”
“Variety’s the spice of
life,” said Patton. “Isn’t that right,
Lloyd?”
Lloyd made his entrance
at last, and stepped to the front and center of the group. “Indeed it is, Dad. Indeed it is.
And that is why I stand before you today, citizens of Porbeagle! And to all of you watching this broadcast
from however you may happen upon it!” He
nodded to the others. “Just like we
practiced, everyone!”
“We didn’t practice a
thing,” said Mrs. Overdose.
“Oh. Well then…just improvise!”
“I need to start
carrying my bat at all times,” JP muttered.
Nevertheless, he turned toward the camera. “All right, all you normal people out
there. Enjoy your lives while you can --
and let the good times roll.”
“A whole new year’s
startin’, so make the most of it,” said Trixie.
“Spread the love, all day, every day.”
Patton nodded. “Man or woman, be as strong as you can be. Move the world with your own two hands.”
“But don’t be afraid to
lay back and enjoy the ride,” said Mrs. Overdose.
“Live by the heart --
and give all you can the chance to do the same!” Lloyd declared. “But most important of all, you must live by
one simple act…” With a smile as wide as
the busted van they rode in, Lloyd looked to his friends in turn -- and in
turn, each of them nodded in agreement.
And all at once, they spoke.
“Merry Christmas -- and
a Happy New Year!”
“Even though it’s mid-January
or somethin',” Mrs. Overdose added.
Patton folded his
arms. “Mmmm. That went well. So, who’s up for some steaks to
celebrate? I can’t think of a better way
to ring in a new year than steaks.”
“That’s your go-to meal
for everything,” said JP. “But I guess I
could use a meal…or at the very least the chance to forget I did something so
corny.” He gestured toward the van. “Come on, guys. Let’s bail for now.”
But Trixie held out a
hand. “Hey, wait a sec -- we’re
forgettin’ somethin’ right? Somethin’
kinda important?”
“What, you wanna nurse
that news anchor back to good health?” Mrs. Overdose asked. “If you’re plannin’ on stickin’ around, be my
guest. Less steaks for you.”
“What? No, I’m…I’m okay with him gettin’ laid
out. But where’d Lloyd go? He was right here a second ago.”
“I’m over here,
everyone!”
The group looked to the
sidelines. Sure enough, Lloyd waved back
at them with a smile, standing before a buzzing computer. “I’ve never been inside a news station
before; it seemed like a wasted opportunity to leave without conducting a quick
investigation! So many files and papers…it’s
simply exquisite!”
“We could be here for a
while,” said JP. He turned back toward
the van. “So I guess we should work on
getting our escape vehicle out of the wall, huh? It’ll take some serious manpower to manage
that.”
“Don’t ya mean
person-power, pal?”
“I don’t see any ladies
here. Just my dad, a sasquatch, and a
penguin.”
“I ain’t a penguin,”
Mrs. Overdose snapped. “I hate the
water.”
The banter went on for
a while, and the van stayed lodged in the wall.
Meanwhile, Lloyd stroked his chin and stared at the computer, its glow
bouncing off both his eyes and lenses. “I
wonder what sorts of treasure troves of information may be stocked here?” he
wondered aloud, stroking his chin. “I am
a bit eager to learn some history about Porbeagle. Perhaps if I press this key…”
He pressed a finger
against the Enter key. He didn’t know
what to expect, but he certainly got a response.
“My! That’s quite the maelstrom of static -- I
didn’t happen to break the machine, did I?”
But to his surprise,
the screen cleared up mere seconds later.
And better yet, it displayed a rather peculiar site.
“’Cross-Up’? What on earth...?”
So he hit the enter key so hard that it broke the fourth wall?
ReplyDeleteSo to speak. For now, let's just say Lloyd's about to have his own excellent adventure soon enough...
ReplyDelete