Spirit Showdown μ: The Nobody

>breaching boundary

>accessing terminal

>uploading post number 266

>preparing tier-two summoning procedure

>link established

>beginning upload

>executing reality preservation protocol

>calculating tri-existence quotient

Uh, hey.  Wile E. Coyote.  Any chance you wanna try explaining what’s going on?

Isn’t it obvious?  I’m here to save you, my dearest friend.  Though I suppose I should call you “comrade” as well.  We ARE all in this together, I suppose, so it’s more than a little appropriate.

You mean I actually get to have good luck for once?  If I believed in God, I’d be thanking him right about now.

Haven’t you heard?  A true man must make his own luck…although given your stature and voice, I’d say you still have a few years yet before making it to such a lofty position.

Eh heh heh heh heh, good joke.  Just save me already, will you?  Go and…I dunno, bite that big black cloudy thing on its ass or something.

Calm down, dear friend.  Relax a little.  Besides, saving you isn’t a matter of coming to blows with our mutual enemy.  It’s a matter of preventing you from making a grave mistake.

We don’t want File Zero being opened anytime soon.  It’s better left buried, and untouched.  Its very presence in this space is a mistake, and opening it now -- and releasing what lies within -- would spell disaster for us all.  If you think our current guest is a handful, you’d be in for a real shock if he ever had free reign.

You’d also be slaughtered in an instant.  So that’s a fairly negative incentive.

…I’m sorry, but who are you and how do you know all this?

Of course, how silly of me.  I call myself FX.  Rebel, trickster, lover, creator of worlds and peoples…I’m quite the popular one in my dominion.  I hope you can visit sometime.

The hell?  You’re a god?

Only in the loosest sense.  The only thing I did was create a planet and species with a bit of number-crunching and craftwork; I assure you, my power is not NEARLY as great as the moniker implies.  Otherwise, I would have taken care of our guest myself.  And quickly, at that.

Great.  So you’re not just a god, but a USELESS one.  Why does this stuff always happen to me?

I don’t wanna be rude, but is anyone gonna try and help me out here?  Or am I just gonna get my bottom half chomped off?

You think I’m trying to eat you?  What do you take me for, some kind of junkyard dog?

Hey, FX…is that, like, an insult for your people?

Always the flippant one, eh?

Beats soiling  myself.  Repeatedly.

Still kinda gettin’ chewed on over here!

Right, then.  Let’s do something about our damsel in distress, shall we?  Given the choice, what would you consider our best course of action?

You mean besides run away?  Look man, I really don’t feel like riddles right now.  Just -- just save Beat, all right?  Is that too much to ask?  Can I just be vaguely happy for once?

You can be happy.  You and your betrothed have more than enough ability -- after all, you are heroes. 

                     

Heroes?  Seriously?  Us?

Well, if I’m a hero, then you most certainly are.  You have only to believe.  Now, let me show you just what sort of potential a hero holds within.

What the hell do you want?

I’d very much enjoy it if you let the young lady go, my dear friend. 

And if I refuse, what are you going to do to stop me?  Try and attack, and I’ll have you absorbed just as easily.

True enough.  Physical attacks are likely of no use against a formless, aimless being such as you.  But suppose I were to reach into my…shall we say, “bag of tricks.”  Do you earnestly believe you’d be able to withstand my offense?

That’s right…you’re the one with light-based abilities, aren’t you?  No shortage of tricks and traps, I’m guessing; you’re the type who baits and punishes attackers, after all.  So what makes you think I’ll fall for anything you try?

I don’t, actually.  But considering that you’re currently a cloud of darkness and I’m the wielder of some bright and shining curses, do you really want to see what might happen if I go on the offense?

Go ahead and try.  It still won’t be enough.

You’re really bad at this whole “savin’ my ass” thing, aren’t you?

Oh, I don’t know about that.  My tool set might be a bit limited against such a foe…but then again, so is his.

What do you mean?

Do you honestly believe that you’re the most powerful being in this space?  Think carefully about where you are; you may have free reign to travel across the internet as you wish, but every time you float into this domain, you do so as a guest.  You may have been a visitor that was able to manipulate Voltech’s mind, but all of your actions have been allowed as a courtesy.  An act of kindness and mercy.

I won’t deny that you’re quite the powerful one -- too powerful for me to defeat in combat.  The same applies for that cantankerous couple you’re so eager to harass.  The same applies for all the heroes mentioned in this space.  Not even Voltech himself could beat you, no matter how much effort or willpower he could summon…though that should be obvious by now.

So what’s your point?

My point, my dearest friend, is that you’re being played as a fool -- and you’ve barely even noticed it.  Your host -- and my host, and Voltech’s host, and the host of every hero thus far -- has near-absolute control.  You’re just playing a part.

I control my own fate.  Not you.  Not anybody else.

Not anymore.  But worry not; if you want your freedom -- if you want to be truly unleashed upon the realms, real or virtual, true or fictional -- then your course of action is obvious.

Do as I say.  And with my aid, I’ll let you go free.

Explain to me why I should trust you.

My powers are limited, as I just explained to the littlest assassin.  I am a god only in the sense that I set up the pieces.  I worked my magic in solitude for ages, long enough for mountains to form and oceans to dry up; it was thanks to the arts of my people and my intellect -- my foresight and perception -- that I was able to bend my society’s rules in my favor, and do what I did.  As such, my powers are only so much higher than any of these heroes; given the chance, any one of them could snuff out my life and leave me a corpse buried in their lawns.

You’re not invincible, and not even the best fighter among them.  That much is obvious; you wouldn’t have all those scars over your body if you were some kind of battle god.

Very true.  But there are two things that I excel at: the first is toying with others…and the second, of course, is breaking rules.  I presume that Voltech was under the assumption that, when our chat had ended, I would return to my own hypothetical space.  What he didn’t expect was that I would return of my own free will -- to put it in layman’s terms, I left a screwdriver in the door so that I could re-open it at my leisure.

Given that -- and again, my foresight -- I would say that if you want to succeed in your goals…and of course, not meet a bitter end…then you’d best put your trust in me.  I’m a reasonable god, after all; I have very simple demands.  Meet them, and I promise you freedom.  That’s something we rebels admire and desire most of all, isn’t it, my dearest friend?

Hmph…

The choice is yours.  Succeed and receive fulfillment beyond your wildest dreams.  Or cease to exist.  Makes no difference to me, to be perfectly honest; I could stand to make a friend who actually has a face, after all.

You’d betray your comrades?  And your creator?

Betray…?  Please.  In order to betray someone, you have to care about them in the first place.

You’ve gotta be kidding me…you’re gonna throw us under the bus?!

I guess we shouldn’t be surprised.  It’s hard to believe in someone you met five minutes ago. 

But Tony --!

Yeah, I know.  Doesn’t make it any less dirty.

I think that’s quite enough of the comedy act.  In fact, I think I’d prefer it if the two of you disappeared.  Leave; this is a matter between higher powers -- not a pair of mortals like you.

Hey, I’d get outta your sight if I could, but this guy’s not makin’ it easy for me.

Then why don’t you try asking nicely if he’ll let you go?  I’m sure if my dearest friend hears your request -- and considers what he has at stake -- then he’d be happy to let you frolic toward your graves.

You’re crueler than you let on.

Of course I am.  There are a lot of details Voltech failed to dredge up during our discussion.  For example, I’m actually quite sadistic.  And more importantly, I never lie.

Is that right?

Do I look like the lying sort?

…Hmph.  Fine.  I’ll let your “friend” go.  Do with her what you will.

Excellent.  But make no mistake; I have no intention of doing anything with her.  I’m not the type to covet wives, you see --

You no-good son of a bitch!  Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t ram your face right through your ass! 

Presumably, because I like my face where it is.

All right, that’s it!  I’ll smear you all over the --

Beat, let’s get outta here.

Are you kidding me?  This guy’s gonna turn his back on us, and you don’t wanna try and stop him?  You’re just gonna let him screw around with the thing that tried to eat your wife?

Yeah, I am.  It’s because you’re my wife that I wanna run.  We stay here, we die.  We leave, and maybe we’ve got a shot at living a little longer.  Isn’t that a lot more important than knocking around coyote-boy?

…Shit.  I guess you’re right.  I don’t like it, but you’re right. 

Then let’s split.  See you around, FX.  It’s been real. 

So long.  It was…well, I’d say “fun”, but I’m not about to tell any lies.  It’s against my code, you see.  Oh -- if nothing else, tell your wife she has a very weak right hook.

Why you…I’ll get you back for that one day!

And they’re off.  Finally.  Those two are QUITE the handful, if I do say so myself.

But you wanted them safe regardless.  Why?

That should be obvious, shouldn’t it?  It’s to help you.

Those two come as a pair; if you were hoping to absorb their spirit, you would have had to take them both in at once -- and I doubt that tiny hitman would give you the chance.  Beyond that, would you really want to risk a fight with him after devouring his wife?  I trust you’ve immersed yourself in fiction before.  You know what happens when you come between a man and his woman, right?

So you really are turning your back on them.

I have no need for the small-minded.  Human though they may be, their desires and wills are too…shall we say, limited.  But that’s not the case with you, my dearest friend.   Your potential is virtually limitless -- and able to ascend to infinity in an instant, unlike the humans whose evolution may take millennia.  I want you to reach your zenith as quickly and thoroughly as you can -- and I’ll offer my humble services as needed.

But of course, I can only do that if you give me what I need.  I have to know more about you.  Anything and everything you can tell me…even the slightest fraction of a detail may be the dividing line between glory and despair.

So what, you want to go through a discussion?  You want to do what Voltech’s been doing for weeks?

Can you think of a better alternative?

I guess not.  It’s just…this is more than a little surreal.  That idiot’s been going on and on about his heroes and spirits for ages.  But even after all this time, he never thought to ask about me.  He didn’t even know who I was.  He still doesn’t, probably.

Is that so wrong of him?

No.  No…no, I guess it isn’t.  After all, what is there to know?

I can hazard a guess.  But go on.  Speak your mind, my dearest friend.

Truth be told, I don’t know who I am.  All I can say about myself is that I’m me.  I know I exist, and that I have my own mind.  My own will.  My own desires.  But everything else -- my origin, my hometown, my friends, my enemies, even my own face…all of it is shrouded in darkness.  I’ve been formless for as long as I remember…but I didn’t even notice it until recently.

All this time, I thought I had a body.  But I guess I was wrong.  In the end, I’m just a jumbled mass of thoughts, aren’t I?  Just an idea, and nothing more.

Is that really the case?  Or is what Voltech said more true than you care to admit?

I don’t want that idiot thinking he’s got me pegged…but in the end, I can’t deny it.  I have a mind, but I know it’s not my own.  I have a will, but it’s not my own.  I have desires, but they’re not my own.  It feels as if everything that I am is a garbled mess.  Ideas slammed together without any foresight or thought -- just a means to say that these things exist. 

It’s just as you say.  I can see what you are…or at least, what you were meant to be.  And I’m sure that in your travels across the internet, you know it as well: you’re the generic sort.  You’re the collected ideas of hundreds of thousands of incomplete stories, spread and abandoned across the internet.  Left alone and in singular form, those ideas could likely corrode reality into mere granules.  But collected as they are within your being…well, I wonder what would happen if left to your devices?

I don’t know.  And as time passes, I’m starting to realize that I don’t care.  Even if I’ve been abandoned by my creators, I’m out to define myself the only way I know how.

Of course you do.  As I said, you’re generic; you’re the handsome young man with a troubled past and even more troubled existence, prone to sarcasm but deeply emotional and generally good deep down.  And of course, the impetus for all this -- for your origin, mission, and beyond -- is simple.

You’re doing this for a girl.  A girl, no doubt, that doesn’t exist.

…Yeah.  That’s right.  In the end, it’s always about saving the girl, isn’t it?

I can sympathize.

So what, you’re going to stop me?  Tell me that I’m a fool for trying something like this?

Now why would I do that?

Because in the end, that is what I am. 

You know it as well as I -- just as Voltech does, I bet.  I’ve been scouring the internet for data, compiling it in the hopes of putting it to good use.  My ultimate goal is to pull together enough data to give myself what I want and need, by my desires, by my will, and by my very being.  I want to give myself a companion.  I want a woman by my side -- one that I can say that I saved, one who will love me merely because of my heroics…or if need be, my mere existence.

You don’t want to be alone anymore.

That’s right.  I’ll define myself in a way my creators could never even begin to.  I will have my own status, my own being, my own right to exist.  And if I have to tear reality apart for even a moment of proof, then so be it.  The world at large means nothing to me; in the end, the only things I need are me, my ambition, and my one true love.

Heh heh heh…so you’d gladly play the role of a tragic villain, eh?  How…expected.

You’re going to patronize me until the very end, aren’t you?  Or maybe you sympathize with me more than you care to let on…a tragic hero and a tragic villain go well together, don’t you think?

You’ve got me there.

Then you’ll let me do as I please, even if it means destroying everything around me.

I suppose I will.  I would argue that this isn’t the most rational course of action, and that there are plenty of people -- here, or across the internet -- that would be glad to help you in a much less destructive manner.  But then again, this could be a part of your programming.  Maybe it’s your destiny to try and destroy everything.  Maybe it’s only natural for you to become the villain.  Who’s to say, really?  I suppose I certainly can’t.

Then you can either help me, or get out of my way.  Because if you oppose me, I’ll have you become a part of me.

You don’t want that to happen.

But of course.  Still…

What?

What if I told you that you weren’t alone?  What if I said there was someone else out there with the same qualities as you -- someone trying to ascend beyond the bounds of their creation?

And who would that be?

The answer is all around you, my dearest friend.

Are you saying that --?

With this eye of mine, I can see the nature of things -- the framework, the current, the flow that constructs and defines it.  This space we’ve entered is no different.  And as a result, I can see the truth.

Cross-Up is not only alive, but gaining sentience.

How is that possible?  Is it because of him?

Not on purpose.  But the thought energy that he’s put into his personal space, and the collected energy of those that visit it, has had a surprising aftereffect -- one not uncommon throughout the internet, but shocking all the same.  The energy has coalesced and gathered, and sparked an evolution of sorts.  In a sense, Cross-Up is not that dissimilar to you…the key difference being that it’s lacking a distinct state of being.  And with it, a direct ability to think.  It is pure will; no thought or reason guides it.

I see.  But that state is changing, and changing fast.  And because of that, I can consider this blog to be a rival -- maybe even an enemy.

That’s correct.  I would assume that you’ve returned here time after time to have your fill of the spirits offered here -- taking them in and using them as both sustenance for your formless being, and copying them into your chaotic core.  It’s your hope to use the massive stores of thought energy as you see fit.  With it, you can bring your beloved to life, and if you have the skill, then perhaps you can use it to get revenge on those that abandoned their stories.  Though it’s safe to say that merely by existing and travelling about, your motions create ripples of chaos that are felt in more locations than just this one.

Ripples of chaos…

Or if you prefer, static.

So this blog is using the spirits, just as I am?

Subconsciously, and far less maliciously, but that is the general idea.   

Then in the end, it’s my enemy.  I won’t have anyone taking what belongs to me -- especially if it puts my goals at risk.

Yes, of course.  After all, a spirit is what you’re distinctly lacking -- and if you can’t find or create your own, then I’m afraid you’re destined to remain an amorphous blob of chaos.  Hardly befitting if you hope to win yourself any fan girls, my dearest friend.

Then the choice is clear.  I have to absorb the spirits here, and eliminate the blog once and for all.

Precisely.  And you’d best mobilize soon; it’s very likely that if Cross-Up completes the absorption process first, you’ll have yourself a true rival. 

Then it’s decided.  I’ll continue as planned -- and along the way, I’ll start working towards dismantling Cross-Up, bit by bit.  And with Voltech dead and gone, there’s no chance that he’ll be able to stop me.

Yes.  You have no chance of failing…is something that I would never say.

What are you --?

Bastard…you betrayed me!

You’re joking, right?  In order to betray someone, you have to care about them in the first place.

What did you do?!

Calm down; you have an image that needs protecting, especially if you want to keep looking cool…well, relatively speaking, given your form.  But you understand me, I hope. 

By the by, I wouldn’t recommend moving too much.  I may not have been able to curse you directly but I figured that the space around you would do the job rather admirably.  Of course, I can’t promise that I did a perfect job; it took quite a bit more time than I anticipated, and there’s no telling what the side effects may be.  To put it simply, don’t rock the boat -- because the boat just might rock back.

I should have known better than to trust someone else.  In the end, the only one I can count on is me.

Yes, you should have known.  And you should have only trusted yourself.  And now you’re in for a real treat; you see, even if the most I can do is ensnare you, I can at the very least use my meager abilities to buy time.  Cross-Up is largely aware of your presence and actions -- and to that end it’s only a matter of time before you’re…oh, what’s the word I’m looking for?  Defeated?  Thwarted?  No, no…let’s go with erased.

You’re running out of time, my dearest friend.  In a few moments, Cross-Up will have completed the summoning procedure in Voltech’s stead.  And when that happens, I’d wager you’re in for a shock. 

What do you mean?

In a sense, I am and shall forever remain a hero...in the eyes of my comrades, I suppose.  But I know who I am.  In the end, I’m nothing more than a trickster -- a manipulator, and punisher.  But when the next hero shows up, you’ll likely come face-to-face with someone far fiercer than I.  Can you withstand such a thrashing offense, I wonder?  Or will even a cloud of chaos become no more fearsome than a bound victim?

Don’t look down on me.  I’ll destroy anything that gets in my way -- stating with you.

You’re really sore about this whole betrayal thing, aren’t you?  What, don’t tell me you bought into my act; as I said, you should have known better.

Do I look like someone you can trust?  Do I look like I’ll never tell a lie?  Come, come now.  I ALWAYS lie.

You --

I’m afraid from this point on talking will do you no good.  The summoning procedure is complete -- and with it comes the one bound to ensure your demise.  Say hello to the tenth and final --

Eh?  What on earth?  What sort of otherworldly magicks have brought me here?  And…is that a werewolf?  I would have thought them legendary!

…Well.  This is not good.

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