NieR: Automata -- An Ending [B]onanza

Hmmm.  Let’s see.  I could either do a post on a really good game, or I can try and stay relevant by writing about current gaming trends.  Hey, what’s going on with E3 2018?  Who had their conference first?

*skims summary of EA conference*

Huh.  Okay.

...

A post on NieR: Automata it is!

Contrary to what the title says, there’s only going to be focus on one NieR ending for now.  With that in mind?  Be wary that this is going to feature SPOILERS for Ending B (and A by extension).  Self-destruct before you get spoiled.  

You know, if you’re into that.

A Lickety-Split Post on NieR: Automata

You guys, I’m sorry.  I’m so sorry.

I don’t know why it took me this long to start playing NieR: Automata in earnest, but now I am, and I like it a lot, and it’s great, and I’m an idiot for not getting to it sooner.  I mean, granted part of the reason was that my brother and I share a PS4, and since he was lukewarm on the game (at best) he deleted it to make space for more fighting games.  But since I got him an external hard drive for Christmas, that’s a moot point.  And now that there’s no excuse…well, I have no excuse.

This is a really cool game.  Very interesting.  And the best part is that I like it for reasons I never would have expected.

SPOILERS FOR EVERYTHING UP TO ENDING A.  BE WARY…FOR THE GLORY OF MANKIND.

Let’s discuss Final Fantasy 15(‘s trailers).

Some time back, there was a comment here on Cross-Up that asked what I thought of Final Fantasy 15.  Having largely and forcibly divorced myself from FF after the absolute debacle of the so-called Lightning Saga, I haven’t followed it as closely as I could have.  Then again, it’s not as if there’s been a ton of information to sink my teeth into; despite nearing the nine-year mark in terms of development time, I doubt I’m the only one who only knows scant plot details and a handful of names.  Frankly, the first thing that comes to mind when thinking about FF15 is the “please be excited” meme.

It’s a little hard to believe that FF15 is the rebranded version of FF Versus 13.  On top of that, it’s hard to believe that that big reveal -- itself suspected, but never confirmed -- came at E3…E3 2013, that is, with nothing to show for it a year later but some trailers.  On the other hand, it’s been revealed that Squeenix mainstay and Kingdom Hearts mastermind Tetsuya Nomura has been taken off the project/director’s seat, suggesting some potential changes under the hood.  On the other (other) hand, supposedly the game is only 55% complete.  FFS, Squeenix.  You not only botched your entry into the seventh-gen consoles, but let babies grow into third-graders before putting out something.

*sigh* All right.  You’ve got trailers out now, huh?  Okay.  Let’s see what you’ve got. 

The 2-Year Anniversary OF DOOM: Cross-Up Returns!

Truer words have never been spoken.  Also, let’s just pretend that this post isn’t coming a week after the anniversary date, all right?  It’ll be fun.

Also, I sure hope Disqus is working again by the time you reach the end of the post.  It's been iffy, so pardon any mishaps with the comments section.  Hopefully it'll clear up soon.

Now then, let's get to it.

As Black as Lightning (Part 3 -- FINALE)

(Cross-Up is still on hiatus, but don't worry -- it'll be back before the end of the month, maybe!  In the meantime, have one more irreverent and overzealous post on a certain magical video game!  Because that's what you're here for, right?  Not the sauerkraut jokes?)

If for some silly reason you’re just joining me here for this FFXIII miniseries (here’s part 1, and here’s part 2), let me give you another primer.  The thrust of my argument is that Lightning Farron, lead character of this so-called Lightning Saga and Square-Enix’s current golden girl, is actually the villain of her games…and as of the last post, you can add “insane” to her name.  If only by accident -- or sheer writing incompetence, if you prefer.

I’d like to think that this trend is going to continue, and get even worse, with Lightning Returns.  It’s easy to shrug off the game as having a garbage story and just enjoying the gameplay -- but that really is a disservice to everyone involved.  If a game is going to tell a story, especially if it’s part of a genre half-built on telling stories, then the quality of the game CAN’T be divorced from the quality of its story.  The technique has to be judged, as do its particulars; ideas, themes, and especially characters have to be taken in wholesale.  And that includes the sequel nobody begged for…to another sequel nobody begged for.

It’s hard to get a full understanding of the story without playing all of Lightning Returns, but with the release date lurching ever closer (God help us all), I think there are just enough details for me to make a few claims.  Obviously, all of this is going to be up for interpretation, so feel free to disagree with me.  I’ll welcome dissent, even if I don’t exactly have a good counterargument.  One man’s villain is another man’s hero, after all.    

So let’s get started.  But before I begin, let’s step back for a moment.  A long moment.

Spoilers for FFXIII and XIII-2 -- and potentially Lightning Returns -- incoming.  I would probably not even read this post if I was you.  Or…you know, if I was smart.

  

As Black as Lightning (Part 1)

(Cross-Up is on hiatus, but not really, sort of!  In the meantime, please enjoy this high-quality filler!)

You know, I have a sneaking suspicion that it was (the great) Jim Sterling’s review of Final Fantasy XIII that led me to discover Destructoid one fateful day.  In a universe where eights, nines, and the occasional perfect score orbited the game like Saturn’s rings, that one glorious 4.0 shone brighter than the sun, and to this day stands as proof -- a totem of fans’ and gamers’ outrage, and in more than a few cases outright disappointment.  That game has come and gone, and for those who felt wronged -- myself included, obviously -- there have been plenty of titles that have helped heal the wound…and then the wound got torn wide open with a rusty shovel by Final Fantasy XIII-2.  And the mere existence of Lightning Returns is enough to turn my body into a living, blood-spewing gash.  But with that game looming large on the horizon and Square-Enix in dire straits -- and news of Lightning getting a bunny suit, because of course she gets a bunny suit -- I think it’s time for me to make an assertion I’ve had in mind for a while.

That famous review started with this line: “If you're a hardcore Final Fantasy XIII fan, prone to emotional outbursts and so defensive of Square Enix's latest effort that you'll get upset by harsh criticism, then you're advised to not read this review.”  The same applies here...to some extent, at least, considering that this isn’t a review.  In fact, you can almost consider this a refutation.

Kingdom Hearts: Does Square-Enix Hate Women?

Apologies for the incendiary title, but I’m hard-pressed to think of anything more apt right now.

If you’ve been checking around this blog for a while -- and for that I thank you/apologize -- you may have noticed a particular running gag of mine.  See, if there’s one thing that I’ve noticed in the games by the now-bloated JRPG tyrant Square-Enix, it’s that the ladies in their games tend to be in less-than-admirable states.  It’s a consistent problem with this company, and while I wouldn’t say that it’s the only one at fault and/or worthy of blame, it is interesting -- and troubling -- to be able to trace a line from one nasty example to the next.  Hence the gag “Squeenix hates women.”

Now, to be fair, I’m sure there are some good examples of female characters out there in the company’s catalog.  I’m sure that there are some ladies who not only do the genre justice, but the medium at large.

Kingdom Hearts’ Aqua is not one of them.

Spoilers, as is the standard.  Then again, I’d assume if you had any interest in playing the game, you would have done so already.  So…callous spoilers, then?  Unfeeling spoilers?  Eh, let’s just go with “mild”.

Also, there’s NOT going to be mindless rage here.  Just a bit of a discussion.  Or a jumping off point.  Off a cliff.  Into Foot-In-Mouth Gorge, if I botch this.  So just work with me here.

The Return of Jafar: A Kingdom Hearts 2 Retrospective (Part 2)

A funny thing happened the other day when I went to Best Buy with my brother.  We wandered over to the games section (as we often do), and while faffing about I happened to catch a glimpse of the player’s guide for KH3D.  It was surprisingly weighty; a part of me thought about flipping through, but since my intent is to one day play it I decided not to risk getting spoiled.  And this is coming from someone who normally has no problems with reading spoilers; that should tell you just how much hope I have for this series, regardless of missteps.

Anyway, I held up the cover and showed it to my brother.  “Look, it’s your best friend Sora,” I said jokingly.  I imagine he’s more of a Riku fan than a Sora fan -- if only because I feel the opposite way.  Still, I wanted to see his reaction.

He gave the guide’s cover a skeptical glare.  “Man, Kingdom Hearts would be so much better if they took out all the Disney stuff.”

It took all of my willpower to resist doing this.

The Return of Jafar: A Kingdom Hearts 2 Retrospective (Part 1)

So.  Kingdom Hearts 3D is finally out.

Cripes.  I’d like to think that I have a handy grasp on the franchise, but I’m having a hard time remembering any games -- well, any meaningful, canon-advancing games -- that put our hero Sora in the spotlight.  I’m drawing a serious blank here.  Outside of Kingdom Hearts 2, what have we had?  A prequel starring Roxas, another prequel featuring a Roxas-lookalike, a girl, and an idiot; a remake of a card battle game; a cell phone game…if my memory’s correct, Sora (and with it, the actual progression of the canon instead of filling in plot points -- or widening them, more than likely) has been out of action for about seven years.  Or if not out of action due to some game I'm missing, then far-removed from the public eye.

Which is kind of weird, considering 1) he’s the hero of the story, and 2) he’s what helps make the series great.  But I suppose there’s no point in whining, now that our hero’s come back.  And from what I’ve heard -- a few reviews aside -- KH3D is something of a return to form.  (Though of course, people said the same thing about Birth By Sleep…)  Well, from the video or two I’ve seen, there’s a pretty big emphasis on the worlds -- largely because they’re utterly massive now.  And to compensate, Sora can traverse levels with a slew of new moves.  Combined with the supposed evolution of BBS’ systems -- which I will admit weren’t the problem with that game -- it’s safe to say that from a gameplay perspective, KH3D shouldn’t be a disappointment.  With the story, who knows how it’ll go…?

Whatever the case, let the records show that I don’t hate everything Squeenix has done since KH1.  My intent is to one day get KH3D, and a 3DS along with it -- if only to enjoy cameos from the rather excellent The World Ends With You. 

Let the records also show that KH2, in my opinion, is vastly inferior to KH1.

I should have played Final Fantasy 6...

I now know the definition of empathy.  

I know I do a lot of bellyaching about Squeenix and Final Fantasy 13, but I realized that even if I bring up legitimate points, my pain -- if you could call it that -- is nothing more than a paper cut.  Considering that this scene, with only a meager bit of contest, made me tear up and start reflecting deeply on my life, I can only begin to wonder how wide a gash this scene must open in true, die-hard FF fans.

Maybe it's just the fact that opera music and current-tech touch-ups managed to make that video what it is; maybe if I watched the original scene in its SNES glory, I wouldn't have been affected as much.  Or maybe I'd have tears streaming onto my laptop for a solid hour, knowing that the same company that brought us that with severe technical limitations (but in exchange, with ingenuity and ambition) has brought us...other things...well, it certainly helps put one's preferences and actions in perspective.

Video games.  They're pretty great most of the time.  But sometimes...sometimes, they can do something more.  You know what I mean?

...Sorry, I'm rambling.  I, uh...I think I need to go take a walk or something.

Keep Doing What You’re Doing, Squeenix: The Lightning Saga

Man, it’s getting late.  I’ve done all the writing I need to for one day, and I don’t think there’s anything else online of note.  Guess I’ll call it a night.

…Oh wait.  I forgot to check what’s on Siliconera.  I even have a tab open.  Well, let’s see what they’ve got, and then I’ll hit the hay.

Hmmm, Persona 4 Arena news.  Good stuff.  Gotta remember to work on getting that Naoto wallpaper from the Japanese site tomorrow.  3DS news…RPG news…a little something from Capcom…and…

Wait.  Wait, what?  What is this supposed to be?

What. 

What?

What?

And then I screamed a lot, shot Frieza in the face with a ki blast, and escaped from Namek in one of the Ginyu Force’s pods.

Now that that little story is out of the way, let’s talk about Final Fantasy 13 for a minute.

Square Enix has all the good ideas.

So apparently, Square Enix is showcasing their new graphics engine.  I guess there's no better time than E3 Week, but on the other hand, I still think it's way too early to even discuss better graphics and new engines and whatnot.  Square Enix in particular, because even after some six years of waiting, we STILL haven't gotten our hands on Versus XIII.  There's thinking ahead, and then there's an attempt at ethereal clairvoyance.

While it's about as good-looking as you'd expect, there's something even more interesting about the page itself -- namely, that it links to a survey where you can voice your reaction and opinion.  Squeenix has some real gusto to invite Hell so liberally; after a quick selection of questions (ranking your satisfaction from 1 to 5), there's a box where you can put in additional feedback.

There's no way this can end poorly.

Kingdom Hearts: The World That Never Was (Good)

All right.  Let’s talk about Kingdom Hearts 2 some more.

The last level of the game, The World That Never Was, is…well, fairly interesting in its own right.  KH, for the most part, is a decidedly low-tech universe.  Judging by the way Sora bashes on the keyboard leading to Tron’s world, he’s never seen something like it in his life.  True, you’ll see gizmos and machines in places like Traverse Town and Twilight Town, but considering that Sora heads to ancient Greece, war-torn China, Agrabah, Neverland, and the friggin’ ocean, you can’t expect him to check his email or charge his mp3 player.

So in terms of aesthetics, I kind of like The World That Never Was.  It creates this “magic vs. technology” dichotomy (which I wish was played up and used more effectively in the game, but I digress), that separates the good guys from the bad guys, and the natural from the unnatural.  Tangentially, I also like the Nobodies; they’re shifting, boneless creatures that operate on a higher level than the Heartless, but are so alien in practice and design that they might as well be brainless.  So generally, KH2 has a lot of good ideas -- building blocks to use and arrange at the developers’ discretion.

A shame that Squeenix couldn’t be arsed to do anything with them.  So, let’s go right down the list.  That’s right, it’s time for a countdown showdown.  These are 10 Head-Scratching Events in the Final Level of Kingdom Hearts 2. 

Take it away, Ansem!

Kingdom Hearts…But First, Advent Children

Before we get started, I’d like to make a correction and apology.

Posted on May 24, 2012:

“Kingdom Hearts 2 is not an awful game by any stretch.  It’s just full of things that make it hover dangerously close to the edge.  Roxas and his pain-inducing prologue, the disorganized Organization XIII, the shift from the east/west hybridization to cookie-cutter anime fare, the segregated plot, the still-piddling minigames, the absurd gameplay decisions, the unevenness of Reaction Commands, the mash-happy nature, the handling of the worlds…there’s a lot to discuss, and I will in due time.  But for everything the game does wrong, there are just a number of things that it does so right.”

In retrospect, that’s not fair to anime.  As you can guess, I hold anime in high esteem -- it has plenty of amazing elements, its fair share of faults, and stories ranging from magical to mediocre.  To knock something just because it has anime and manga influences is utterly wrong; I used to rag on the Teen Titans cartoon before it came out because it tried to copy anime, and yet by series’ end it became one of my favorite shows.  To even insinuate that anything with certain tropes, styles, and mannerisms is automatically bad because of it is something that I would like to avoid -- hence, my correction.

What I should have said is this:

“It’s just full of things that make it hover dangerously close to the edge…the disorganized Organization XIII, the shift from the east/west hybridization to Advent Children-style schlock…”

There we go.  That about sums things up -- and makes the final hours of Kingdom Hearts 2 so genuinely painful.

Kingdom Hearts: Much Ado About Roxas

I finished Kingdom Hearts 1 a few days ago with something very near a smile on my face. 

I acknowledge that it’s not the greatest game ever.  It has its fair number of faults, in its story and especially in its gameplay (which I’ll get to soon, as part of the retrospective).  Its worlds can inspire either wonder or an overwhelming desire to find the nearest steel wall to bash your head against.  But for what it’s worth, KH1 has aged surprisingly well -- much better than I would have expected.  So when I saw that final scene, with Sora, Donald and Goofy chasing after Pluto down a sunny road with smiles on their faces, I thought to myself, Yeah.  Yeah, this is all right.

KH1 has its flaws.  But it’s the ability of a good game -- no, a good story -- to leave you eager to praise it in spite of its faults.  It’s something along the lines of its net worth; add the positives and negatives together, and if you come out positive in the end, you’ve made a profit in enjoyment.  And overall, KH1 made a huge profit in my book.

So yeah.  I was feeling pretty good about the game.  But at the same time, there was a great sense of dread knotting up in my stomach.  I knew that I had to be fair and impartial.  I knew that if I gave one game a chance, I’d have to do the same for another.

And so, not five minutes after finishing KH1, I reset the PS2, took out the disk, and slid the next trial into the tray.

Kingdom Hearts 2, I thought, swallowing hard.  How bad could it be?

Kingdom Hearts: Another Herp, Another Derp

*headdesk*

*headdesk*

*headdesk*

*HEADDESK*

…All right.  Let’s talk about Birth by Sleep.

Kingdom Hearts: A Deep Dive

I’m starting to suspect that Square-Enix is the patron saint of faffing about.

Since my PSP fatally overheated a few years back, I haven’t been able to get my hands on Kingdom Hearts: Birth by Sleep.  A shame, really, because between me and my brother that was the only game that could convince us the PSP had any games worth buying.  I still had fond memories of the KH series, if a little tainted at that point; the first one was great (in my opinion, of course), and I remember how eagerly I awaited the second game.  And I remember how, by the end of the second game, I was sorely disappointed.

But I was willing to love again.  I remembered the wonder I felt from the first game -- of a simple, lighthearted tale hearkening back to my days as a Disney-watching lad.  Of an honest search for Sora’s friends, combined with the ability to tag-team with Aladdin and Tarzan, and take on Cloud and Yuffie.  It was a crew of Disney villains teaming up, and my best bet was to rely on Goofy and Donald -- and my Keyblade -- to see me to victory.  I could fight.  I could glide.  I could roll and jump, guard and even deflect blows.  I took on enemies as simple as a Shadow, and as monstrous as the titans from Hercules.  Like the theme song suggested, it was “simple and clean.”  Nothing too overwrought, nothing too complex.  It was just a story of a kid visiting strange new worlds, making new friends while searching for old ones.

Such sweet memories.  So much so that, years later, I decided that even if I didn’t have a PSP I’d experience Birth by Sleep the best way I could.  I’d watch every last bit of it online.

Thus far, it has not been a good experience.

"It's morphin' time!"