BlazBlue, 8.213 Years Later (Part 2)

It’s past September 19^th.  Yo, when’s mahvel?  I mean…where’s the latest Marvel vs. Capcom Infinite post?

It’s coming, don’t worry.  But if I’m going to talk about it, I want to make sure I’m ready first -- which means I need to put some serious time into it.  I have already with my prototype team of Captain Marvel and Haggar (coupled with the Space Stone so I can trap people in the Shame Cube), but it feels like an insufficient , almost infinitesimal amount.  Do I really have a grasp of the mechanics?  Possibly, given that I saw a fair number of wins in my first online session.  But I have my doubts -- and more importantly, I don’t just want to play the same two characters over and over again.  Somebody has to rep X, after all.

So I’ll save the Infinite stuff for later, because if I had to guess, this is going to be a multi-post endeavor.  Fine by me, I suppose, even though there’s other stuff I want to talk about.  Like…I know this is off-topic, but can we just take a minute to celebrate MasterChef?  I’ve been watching since day one, but this was the first season to have me tears.  And swell up with joy.  And pump a fist for the person I hoped would win actually winning it.  It ain’t Iron Chef, but it’ll do in a pinch.

Okay, enough messing around.  Let’s talk about BlazBlue some more.

BlazBlue, 8.213 Years Later (Part 1)

Well, I’ve been on a roll lately with these “X Years Later” posts, so I figure I should go ahead and keep the streak going.  Although since I’m dealing with a wider time gap than the last two posts, it’s probably worth mentioning that leap years aren’t taken into the title’s calculation.  Then again, I can’t imagine those extra days having too big of an impact.  It’s just something to think about, should you decide to take me to court over it.  I hope it doesn’t come to that.

If you’re just joining me here, I’ll admit that part of the reason for this post is a knee-jerk reaction to my brother’s opinion (because as discussed, he’s the inspiration for an insane number of posts).  Even though BlazBlue: Central Fiction just got an update and a new character, he’s about ready to drop it for reasons I can’t begin to fathom -- one of which, in his words, is that BB is “Guilty Gear for babies”.  Is it really, though?  Is BB as a whole worthy of any scorn it’s received over the course of its lifespan?  I’ll go ahead and spoil it right now: no, I don’t think it’s worthy.  That doesn’t mean there aren’t parts that deserve some dirty looks, but I’ll get to that.

So let’s not delay.  Here we go -- starting with my favorite arcade opening.

Overwatch, 1.29 Years Later

There was a time when I was able to accurately tell my teacher that The Sims was the best-selling PC game of all time.  Near as I can tell, that’s no longer the case.  I would’ve thought that Overwatch had taken the crown by now, but I forgot we live in a world where Minecraft exists.  That’s not to say that Blizzard’s big shooter hasn’t done well on the charts; there’s a damn good reason why fanart for it has clogged the internet, and it’s not just because Tracer’s spandex-clad caboose.

Because as you know, Mercy is literally the best.

And man, Overwatch has seriously been on a tear recently, hasn’t it?  Junkertown announced with a goofy new short!  Then you get a REAL short starring everyone’s favorite character, Mei!  Deathmatch incoming!  New ult for Mercy, because the best must keep getting better!  And of course, Doomfist came out not too long ago -- sans Terry Crews, but I think we can live with that given the nature of the character.  So, how’s the game doing overall?  What’s the hot take on it well after its release?

Probably pretty good.  But I can only speak for myself, and that’s exactly what I plan to do.  Here’s what I think.

UnchartedPalooza?? The Last of Us (Revisited)

You know what?  I’ve always felt guilty about not liking The Last of Us.

As you’d expect from someone who didn’t sing praises about a critical darling -- the people’s champion in disc form -- I took some heat for my opinions.  In the eyes of some, I didn’t get it.  Or I just hate everything.  OR I’m too young to understand it.  I’m not the only one who’s been hassled for not seeing the game as anything short of a masterpiece (and to be fair I’ve only seen a little shade thrown my way), but I find it kind of silly that people can get so wound up just because someone doesn’t like what you like. 

I think the ’94 Street Fighter movie isn’t nearly as bad as public opinion suggests, but am I going to raise hell over it?  No.  Opinions can and will vary because they’re based on interpretations of substantiated evidence.  What’s gold to some is a lump of coal to others, and we shouldn’t hate others for seeing things differently.  I’d say “it’s that simple”, but the fact that I have to use this post’s prologue as an obvious disclaimer says a lot about the situation.

So enough of that.  Let’s get to it.

UnchartedPalooza!! Drake’s Fortune

It should go without saying, but for posterity’s sake?  The entire purpose of this post -- and by extension this whole miniseries -- is simple: I want to find out how good the Uncharted series really is.  Or if it’s even good in the first place.

I wouldn’t know, because as embarrassing as it sounds, I’ve barely played any of the games prior to this.  Based on how much traction it’s gotten, I’d like to at least assume that the franchise is good.  Perfect?  Probably not.  But you don’t get to become a marquis title on one of the big three consoles by being merely average.  You have to be something special.  Something awe-inspiring.  Something fantastic.  True, it’s entirely possible that Uncharted’s traction is unfounded, and that its definition of “special” is actually a bunch of smoke and mirrors -- the most basic of the basic, elevated to godhood thanks to marketing and hype.  Or maybe the series is actually incredibly good, and deserves its place in the spotlight despite its AAA status.  Who knows? 

The only thing I know for sure is that I’ll find and present my own personal answers via this miniseries.  Well, actually, that’s not entirely true.  I know that based on my experience, Uncharted: Drake’s Fortune is roooooooooooooooooooooooooooough.

And yet, it feels strangely familiar.

Let's "discuss" Star Ocean: The Last Hope (Part 1).

So, it looks like a miracle has happened.  Temporarily.

For months, my “How to Make a Good Street Fighter Movie” post has taken top honors as the number-one most-visited post on Cross-Up.  And while there’s no doubt it’s got the highest view count by a WIDE margin, only recently has it been supplanted.  One of my posts on The Last of Us managed to do it -- and is still a top-scorer -- but more recently, the one I see (or did see) taking the top spot is a post on Tales of Xillia.  And frankly, I’m happy with that.

It is criminal that the Tales Series doesn’t have as much recognition as it deserves.  I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: Final Fantasy has long since been surpassed as the greatest JRPG franchise.  And if you ask me, the one who’s been sitting on its shadow-shrouded throne is the Tales Series.  It’s a strange day, indeed, when you wake up one day and realize you’ve played more Tales games than FF games…at least, it’s strange for me.  And stranger indeed when three out of six FF games were enjoyable, while six out of seven Tales games are significantly closer to my heart.  (We do not speak of Dawn of the New World.  Ever.)

So I’ve been thinking.  Recent comments -- and spotting old files strewn about on my machine -- have reminded me of games past, and words that still need typing.  And I figured it’s about time to bring them to the forefront.  So let’s have a look at one of the corpses stepped over and left picked clean by vultures in the desert: Star Ocean: The Last Hope.

Fair warning, though: you might want to make sure you don’t read this where anyone can peek over your shoulder.  This game has some…things in it.  (And also SPOILERS.)

Tales of the Abyss: The Rundown (Part 3)

Whew.  It sure has been a while, hasn’t it?  I hope I remember enough from the game to even start talking about it; I like it, but I really don’t want to do another playthrough just to review.

In any case, here’s what happened last time on the Rundown:

--Poor communication starts wars and nearly dooms the planet!

--Nobody can shut up about fonons and junk I could care less about!

--This is one of the only times when I care about politics!

--A sensible, well-organized religion?  Not in THIS JRPG!

All right.  Let’s give this thing another go.

(Spoiler alert involving several important details about the story -- which, as you know, is a story all about how my life got flipped-turned upside-down and I’d like to take a minute just sit right there I’ll tell you how I became a prince of a town called Bel-Air.

Anyone know where I can get one of those spinning throne things?  I could stand to spruce up my room.)

The Return of Jafar: A Kingdom Hearts 2 Retrospective (Part 3)

I’ve written more than two hundred posts for this blog, and I’ve noticed a certain trend.  I’m not about to crunch any numbers, but if I had to guess, a fifth of them would be about fighting games, a third would go to writing, and the rest to JRPGs.  It wasn’t exactly my intention, but I’m willing to roll with it for now.  It’s much more rewarding and pleasing to talk about those than shooters.

And on that note, I have to ask: do you know why I prefer JRPGs to shooters?  If you’ll let me make a blanket statement, it’s that shooters (especially today’s shooters) are eerily similar.  If you’ve shot with one machine gun, you’ve shot them all.  If you hide behind one wall of sandbags, moving to the next one becomes second nature.  And the less said about the narratives attached (Gears of War 3 being a prime example), the better off we’ll all be.  That’s not to say that all shooters are stupid and identical -- Bioshock and Borderlands say hi -- but in theory, JRPGs are the more varied genre.

Don’t get me wrong, the genre’s LOADED with clichés and trite elements -- Magnacarta 2 says hi -- but the lynchpins of JRPGs, the story and especially the gameplay, are what make each one distinct from one another.  Turn-based games.  Strategy hybrids.  Real-time combat.  ATB systems.  Speaking as someone who’s played his fair share of JRPGs, I’d argue that if you’re running away from battles, you’re not getting your money’s worth.  Fighting, and getting stronger, and turning your ragtag team into harbingers of destruction are as valuable as the story itself.  At least, they should be if the game is doing its job.

Which brings us to Kingdom Hearts 2.  

Readers, you might want to go grab your favorite snack.  This is gonna be heavy.

Tales of the Abyss: The Rundown (Part 2)

Last time on the Rundown…

--Ion confirmed for dumbass-tier!

--Villains?  More like awesome-ains, am I right?

--Princesses and bros and trolls, oh my!

--Midriffs!

And there was much talk about characters and ideas being good on paper, but suffering in practice -- along with a rational defense of angst in JRPGs.  But that was right around the time when the rocket-powered dinosaurs launched their attack, so I had to grab my Thunder Halberd and fend them off.

But they’re all extinct now, so here’s Part 2 of the rundown.

(Spoilers to follow, as always.  If you haven’t played the game yet but intend to, why not eat some delicious sauerkraut instead of reading this post?  It’ll be good for your medulla oblongata.)

Tales of the Abyss: The Rundown (Part 1)

If there’s one series I can count on to put a smile on my face, it’s the Tales series.  I’ve had a fixation on JRPGs ever since my fateful encounter with the (supposedly inferior) PC version of Final Fantasy 7 back in 2000, but I find myself disappointed as often as I am delighted.  I’m not just talking about FF13, even if it’s the straw that broke the camel’s back and then made liberal use of a jackhammer to its spine for good measure; I may be more analytical than I’ve ever been, but even a younger version of me can tell when a game is putting me through some grade-A bullshit.

Everything past the first quarter of Grandia III.  The hiked-up bromance in Kingdom Hearts 2.  Trying to pass off Vaan as the main character in FF12.  Corgan’s “I have no knowledge of such things” shtick in Septerra Core (even though that’s not a JRPG, but close enough).  I don’t give Past Me a lot of credit -- and can you blame me? -- but I wasn’t exactly a lost cause.  I knew what I liked, and what I didn’t.  I knew what I thought was good, and what I thought was bad.  And in terms of the Tales series, it could only be good in my eyes.

But I had to put it through the paces.  I had to give the games -- Abyss, first and foremost -- a shot to see if they were as good as I thought, and if they were still good today. 

And the answer?  To put it simply, it’s a game that’s easy to love…and easier to hate.  Know what I mean, Asch?

(Warning: spoilers to follow…although it’s, like, six years old now.  Is it really necessary to add a spoiler warning?  And would you really be here if you weren’t interested in an informal analysis?  And a commanding knowledge of the game is nothing but a boon.  

On the other hand, midriffs.)

The Return of Jafar: A Kingdom Hearts 2 Retrospective (Part 2)

A funny thing happened the other day when I went to Best Buy with my brother.  We wandered over to the games section (as we often do), and while faffing about I happened to catch a glimpse of the player’s guide for KH3D.  It was surprisingly weighty; a part of me thought about flipping through, but since my intent is to one day play it I decided not to risk getting spoiled.  And this is coming from someone who normally has no problems with reading spoilers; that should tell you just how much hope I have for this series, regardless of missteps.

Anyway, I held up the cover and showed it to my brother.  “Look, it’s your best friend Sora,” I said jokingly.  I imagine he’s more of a Riku fan than a Sora fan -- if only because I feel the opposite way.  Still, I wanted to see his reaction.

He gave the guide’s cover a skeptical glare.  “Man, Kingdom Hearts would be so much better if they took out all the Disney stuff.”

It took all of my willpower to resist doing this.

The Return of Jafar: A Kingdom Hearts 2 Retrospective (Part 1)

So.  Kingdom Hearts 3D is finally out.

Cripes.  I’d like to think that I have a handy grasp on the franchise, but I’m having a hard time remembering any games -- well, any meaningful, canon-advancing games -- that put our hero Sora in the spotlight.  I’m drawing a serious blank here.  Outside of Kingdom Hearts 2, what have we had?  A prequel starring Roxas, another prequel featuring a Roxas-lookalike, a girl, and an idiot; a remake of a card battle game; a cell phone game…if my memory’s correct, Sora (and with it, the actual progression of the canon instead of filling in plot points -- or widening them, more than likely) has been out of action for about seven years.  Or if not out of action due to some game I'm missing, then far-removed from the public eye.

Which is kind of weird, considering 1) he’s the hero of the story, and 2) he’s what helps make the series great.  But I suppose there’s no point in whining, now that our hero’s come back.  And from what I’ve heard -- a few reviews aside -- KH3D is something of a return to form.  (Though of course, people said the same thing about Birth By Sleep…)  Well, from the video or two I’ve seen, there’s a pretty big emphasis on the worlds -- largely because they’re utterly massive now.  And to compensate, Sora can traverse levels with a slew of new moves.  Combined with the supposed evolution of BBS’ systems -- which I will admit weren’t the problem with that game -- it’s safe to say that from a gameplay perspective, KH3D shouldn’t be a disappointment.  With the story, who knows how it’ll go…?

Whatever the case, let the records show that I don’t hate everything Squeenix has done since KH1.  My intent is to one day get KH3D, and a 3DS along with it -- if only to enjoy cameos from the rather excellent The World Ends With You. 

Let the records also show that KH2, in my opinion, is vastly inferior to KH1.

Let's discuss Tales of the Abyss.

...Wait, why's he showing off his midriff?

I have a very specific rule when it comes to playing RPGs: never play them if there’s so much as a raindrop outside.  It’s a lesson that I had to learn the hard way one summer when playing through Final Fantasy 10.  I was trekking through the Macalania Woods, merry as could be, choosing to blissfully ignore the rain pounding atop the roof of my grandma’s house.  “I have nothing to fear from mere rain,” I scoffed.  “My team is steadily growing stronger -- just as I surmised, making Yuna the party’s black mage was a brilliant move.  No force on earth can stop me!”

 And then, before I could get to a save point -- mere steps away from one, most likely -- the power went out.  My progress, my EXP, all of it erased.  It wouldn’t have been so bad if I hadn’t taken some time out to grind for extra levels (because I’m not satisfied with my RPGs unless my party members become verifiable deities)…and it wouldn’t have been so bad if, once I’d re-leveled later and made it back to the same point, I had to shut off the game so I could go to Red Lobster with my grandma.  So basically, I had to play that section three times… but it was worth it for those Red Lobster biscuits.

I would covet my neighbor's wife for you.  Could use some midriffs, though.

Why do I bring this up?  It’s because it’s been raining quite a bit on my end -- a blessed reprieve from the summer heat -- and because of it, I’ve been momentarily stalled on finishing my playthrough of Tales of the Abyss.  It’s my intention to talk about that game one of these days; in the same sense that I tried KH1 to see if it’s aged well, I thought I’d give Abyss a whirl.  I won’t go into any grave detail, so I’ll keep this post a bit short.  And I’ll start by saying this:

Tales of the Abyss is too damn long.

The Curious Case of Katherine Noether

Sometimes it’s hard being a man.  Not because you’re the one people count on to kill spiders, or dislodge a basketball when it gets stuck between the hoop and the backboard (a shockingly frequent event, apparently), or because you’re supposed to be strong enough to open the pickle jar.  

"It's tough to be a maaaaaaaaan...I want to cryyyyyyyyy..."

No, it’s hard being a man because you’re more accountable for your words and actions than anyone else.

Okay, maybe that’s a bit of a sweeping generalization, but I think there’s more than a kernel of truth -- including and especially when those words and actions relate to talk about women.  Fortunately, if you’ve any more foresight than I do, you won’t make a faux pas while in the presence of a class that is 95% female.

The Final Mix: A Kingdom Hearts Retrospective (Part 4)

You’ve seen me cry about E3.  You’ve seen me moan about Prometheus.  You’ve endured my constant peddling of an over-the-top love comedy without complaint.  And now, finally, the Kingdom Hearts Retrospective returns with a vengeance -- a vengeance so vengeful, you’ll want to avenge the vengeance.  Vengefully.

I know I’ve made this fairly clear already, but just in case anyone needs to hear it directly, I’ll say it now.  Not only do I like Kingdom Hearts 1, but I prefer it over its mechanically-superior sequel Kingdom Hearts 2.  Why?  Because KH1 has a better story.  Not the most complex story, mind, and likely not the best story ever told in a video game -- but for what it was worth, it succeeded.  Keeping in line with its “simple and clean” veneer, it satisfied from start to finish.

But in spite of that “simple and clean” veneer, it offered its fair share of depth and subtleties.  It was -- and is -- a self-contained story with plenty of themes to explore, unburdened by the need to play its cards close to the chest for sequels.  Whatever the case, it’s certainly a story that leaves you feeling good, and without any complexities weighing you down.  Makes me wonder what happened when the sequel came around -- seriously, what the hell happened, Squeenix? -- but we’ll get there when we get there.

For now, let’s do something that’s been long overdue.  Let’s talk about Kingdom Hearts 1’s story.

Tales of Xillia 2, Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Beast

 So the countdown for the next installment in the Tales series has come to an end -- and with it, the reveal of Tales of Xillia 2. 

While I have my reservations about it being a direct sequel (and the fact that Tales of Xillia 1 has yet to appear in the states), I’m okay with this.  You may think me a hypocrite for accepting another sequel in this franchise while blasting it elsewhere -- i.e. Final Fantasy XIII-2 -- but that’s because A) I’d like to pretend that the Fabula Nova Crystallis project doesn’t exist, and if I don’t look at it it’ll go away, and B) in my experience, the Tales series has been consistently good.

And by consistently good, I mean it’s probably one of the most unappreciated franchises in the past decade or so.

Kingdom Hearts: The World That Never Was (Good)

All right.  Let’s talk about Kingdom Hearts 2 some more.

The last level of the game, The World That Never Was, is…well, fairly interesting in its own right.  KH, for the most part, is a decidedly low-tech universe.  Judging by the way Sora bashes on the keyboard leading to Tron’s world, he’s never seen something like it in his life.  True, you’ll see gizmos and machines in places like Traverse Town and Twilight Town, but considering that Sora heads to ancient Greece, war-torn China, Agrabah, Neverland, and the friggin’ ocean, you can’t expect him to check his email or charge his mp3 player.

So in terms of aesthetics, I kind of like The World That Never Was.  It creates this “magic vs. technology” dichotomy (which I wish was played up and used more effectively in the game, but I digress), that separates the good guys from the bad guys, and the natural from the unnatural.  Tangentially, I also like the Nobodies; they’re shifting, boneless creatures that operate on a higher level than the Heartless, but are so alien in practice and design that they might as well be brainless.  So generally, KH2 has a lot of good ideas -- building blocks to use and arrange at the developers’ discretion.

A shame that Squeenix couldn’t be arsed to do anything with them.  So, let’s go right down the list.  That’s right, it’s time for a countdown showdown.  These are 10 Head-Scratching Events in the Final Level of Kingdom Hearts 2. 

Take it away, Ansem!

Kingdom Hearts…But First, Advent Children

Before we get started, I’d like to make a correction and apology.

Posted on May 24, 2012:

“Kingdom Hearts 2 is not an awful game by any stretch.  It’s just full of things that make it hover dangerously close to the edge.  Roxas and his pain-inducing prologue, the disorganized Organization XIII, the shift from the east/west hybridization to cookie-cutter anime fare, the segregated plot, the still-piddling minigames, the absurd gameplay decisions, the unevenness of Reaction Commands, the mash-happy nature, the handling of the worlds…there’s a lot to discuss, and I will in due time.  But for everything the game does wrong, there are just a number of things that it does so right.”

In retrospect, that’s not fair to anime.  As you can guess, I hold anime in high esteem -- it has plenty of amazing elements, its fair share of faults, and stories ranging from magical to mediocre.  To knock something just because it has anime and manga influences is utterly wrong; I used to rag on the Teen Titans cartoon before it came out because it tried to copy anime, and yet by series’ end it became one of my favorite shows.  To even insinuate that anything with certain tropes, styles, and mannerisms is automatically bad because of it is something that I would like to avoid -- hence, my correction.

What I should have said is this:

“It’s just full of things that make it hover dangerously close to the edge…the disorganized Organization XIII, the shift from the east/west hybridization to Advent Children-style schlock…”

There we go.  That about sums things up -- and makes the final hours of Kingdom Hearts 2 so genuinely painful.

The Final Mix: A Kingdom Hearts Retrospective (Part 3)

I’m almost done with Kingdom Hearts 2…again.

To say that I have mixed feelings about the game would be an understatement the size of a double-decker bus.  Keeping in mind that I was one of the wide-eyed fans getting mega-hyped about its arrival (probably because I was a part of THE target audience), I have to wonder what state of mind drove me to get so excited.  Was it because of the flashy attacks?  Bashing enemies with pure style?  Going boosh-boosh-boosh and doing flip-de-loops?  If that’s the case, then anyone who needed evidence for their thesis on “How Teenagers Are All Idiots”, I’d make for some fine proof.

Kingdom Hearts 2 is not an awful game by any stretch.  It’s just full of things that make it hover dangerously close to the edge.  Roxas and his pain-inducing prologue, the disorganized Organization XIII, the shift from the east/west hybridization to cookie-cutter anime fare, the segregated plot, the still-piddling minigames, the absurd gameplay decisions, the unevenness of Reaction Commands, the mash-happy nature, the handling of the worlds…there’s a lot to discuss, and I will in due time.  But for everything the game does wrong, there are just a number of things that it does so right.

The same, of course, could be said for Kingdom Hearts 1.  Frankly, I find it funny that a game could be so flawed, yet so fantastic at the same time.

(There’s your alliteration for the day.)

Kingdom Hearts: Much Ado About Roxas

I finished Kingdom Hearts 1 a few days ago with something very near a smile on my face. 

I acknowledge that it’s not the greatest game ever.  It has its fair number of faults, in its story and especially in its gameplay (which I’ll get to soon, as part of the retrospective).  Its worlds can inspire either wonder or an overwhelming desire to find the nearest steel wall to bash your head against.  But for what it’s worth, KH1 has aged surprisingly well -- much better than I would have expected.  So when I saw that final scene, with Sora, Donald and Goofy chasing after Pluto down a sunny road with smiles on their faces, I thought to myself, Yeah.  Yeah, this is all right.

KH1 has its flaws.  But it’s the ability of a good game -- no, a good story -- to leave you eager to praise it in spite of its faults.  It’s something along the lines of its net worth; add the positives and negatives together, and if you come out positive in the end, you’ve made a profit in enjoyment.  And overall, KH1 made a huge profit in my book.

So yeah.  I was feeling pretty good about the game.  But at the same time, there was a great sense of dread knotting up in my stomach.  I knew that I had to be fair and impartial.  I knew that if I gave one game a chance, I’d have to do the same for another.

And so, not five minutes after finishing KH1, I reset the PS2, took out the disk, and slid the next trial into the tray.

Kingdom Hearts 2, I thought, swallowing hard.  How bad could it be?