ShootStravaganza!! Wolfenstein: The New Order

Video games may be an art form, but it’s hard to separate them from the mechanical underpinnings.  Yeah, that’s probably true of every art form, but given that games are built on technology, it’s more than a little pronounced.  So while in a lot of ways, it’s easy to understand why there are so many shooters (even if you’re not willing to welcome them): the mechanics are the simplest way to create a relationship between a real player and a virtual world.  Take aim, pull a trigger button, and things happen.  It’s a hard formula to screw up, even if it is less than preferable to others.

I’m not even going to pretend like I know everything/anything about shooters, but I can do something like that for fighting games.  Even if you don’t have any skill with them, it only takes a glance to realize that there are systems and particulars that go into each one, making them different across the board.  True, there are lessons and concepts that carry over from game-to-game, but Street Fighter 4 is not the same game as, say, Street Fighter X Tekken. 

There are surface-level elements, like those unique systems; there are deeper elements, like preparation and tactics; there are elements that you have to learn on the fly, going from one match to another (someday I’ll learn how to fight Chun-Li) -- and then there’s the super-deep stuff like frame data, proration, and more.  Fighters may have seen a renaissance over the past half-decade or so, but that’s partly because they’ve got the depth -- at every level -- that can satisfy a player.  It’s what makes fighters one of the purest game genres out there.

I bring all this up because I think that’s part of the appeal of Wolfenstein: The New Order.  And it’s part of the reason why it’s not only the best game I’ve looked at for the ShootStravaganza, but maybe one of the best next-gen games so far…even though that doesn’t really mean very much at this stage, but whatever.

Guardians of the Galaxy: Playing Favorites

So my brother wants to go see the new Ninja Turtles movie, and I now have a sudden urge to find the largest, heaviest item I can carry so I can introduce him to it.  In the percussive sense.

I probably shouldn’t be too surprised, seeing as how he’s the same person who caused me to watch the unthinkably awful RoboCop reboot.  I guess some people never learn, but I figured it was worth another shot.  So I asked him: “If you want to see the Turtles, then why don’t you just watch the cartoons?”  His answer was that the upcoming movie was new.  And I guess that means it’s…better, somehow?  In which case, I’d point his attention elsewhere. 

Well, it could be good.  But I have my doubts (for any number of reasons).  Setting aside the miserable fate that may await anyone who has even a passing interest in cinema, I can’t help but think back to a statement made by Michael Swaim of Cracked, and a sort of “understood truth” about the Turtles, or characters in general: whichever one is your favorite says a LOT about your personality.  I like Leonardo, for example, and if you’re familiar with the stuff I’ve said here on Cross-Up, this should be no surprise to you.  But beyond that, the important thing is that by identifying deeply with a character, your overall enjoyment of the story is practically destined to increase.

I say all of this because it applies to Guardians of the Galaxy.  Because not only is it a good, good, good, good, good movie, but your enjoyment will inevitably increase…because by movie’s end, you WILL have a favorite.  Guaranteed.

THE REEL OF FATE IS TURNING

SPOILERS -- TONS -- ACTION!

…Because who needs thought and wit when you can just make references?

Dawn of the Planet of the Apes (and Gary Oldman)

There’s an episode of The Simpsons where Homer takes a break from helping Moe with insurance fraud to watch Hail to the Chimp in a drive-in theater.  It’s pretty much exactly how it sounds: a monkey is now the president -- no context needed for that, natch -- and apparently by the climax the monkey president has to dive out of a plane while wearing a parachute.  And a suit.  The president has to look good, after all.

I can’t help but think back to that when it comes to Dawn of the Planet of the Apes.  “Apes with machine guns” is, for me, the closest thing to a deal-breaker you can imagine.  You can’t have something like that unless you play it as a farce, and certainly can’t work that into a serious story and expect to keep a straight face.  So when I hear that the very same thing is in this latest movie, my hype meter pretty much hit the floor. 

Imagine my surprise, then, when I find out for myself that the movie is irresponsibly fantastic.  That probably has something to do with the movie keeping the simian gunslingers to a minimum…but you didn’t hear that from me.

GET READY FOR THE NEXT SPOILERS.

Ha.  Bet you thought this spoiler warning would have something to do with apes, didn’t you?  Well, too bad.  Tekken 7’s been officially announced, so look forward to that Death Fist goodness.

Also, how ‘bout that EVO 2K14? 

RE: Mario Kart 8

I need a respite from Watch Dogs.  Let’s talk about something good.

You know what?  No.  Let’s not just talk about something good.  Let’s talk about something really good.  Really, almost unfairly good.

In a nutshell?  This game has officially earned Nintendo the right to drop the mic.

Season's Wii-tings: The Wonderful 101

Let me be upfront about The Wonderful 101, before I get too swept up in the words to come.

The Wonderful 101 is not -- I repeat -- is NOT the greatest game ever created.  It is not the be-all and end-all of video game potential.  It is not the automatic winner of Game of the Year, merely because it exists.

It is not a perfect game.  In fact, at times it can be surprisingly frustrating.  I don’t agree with its detractors -- and I know there are some out there -- but I respect their opinions.  I know what they’re talking about.

But with all that in mind, let me say, conclusively, from the start, that The Wonderful 101 is a good, good, good, good, DAMN GOOD GAME.  

So much so that I’m going to do something I don’t do very often.

*deep breath* The time has come.

Beyond: Two Souls (feat. Kamen Rider Fourze)

So.  Not too long ago, the Two Best Friends -- or technically the Super Best Friends, since Matt and Pat brought Woolie along for the "Sadness" -- finished their LP of Beyond: Two Souls.  I’m on record of saying that I would sacrifice a goat for the gang to play the game from start to finish, and my prayers were indeed answered.  It certainly saved me the trouble of playing the game beyond the demo.  And as it turns out, the Best Friends did me (and our species) a greater service than they could have ever imagined.

Yikesy mikesy.  I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: if I had played Two Souls for myself, from start to finish, it would easily be the WORST game I’ve played all year.

It’s like a thirty-car pileup on top of a train wreck on top of an oil spill on top of a forest fire, with a ruined birthday party thrown in for good measure.  This game -- and I can’t even use the word “game” properly -- gets so much wrong it’s almost fascinatingly terrible.  Almost.  I’m pretty sure I never bore David Cage and his crew at Quantic Dream any ill will before; that’s true even now, but after seeing them at their “best” I can’t say I have even an eighth of the good will I had beforehand.  Whatever they’re cooking up next, if it’s anything like Two Souls they need to start over. 

A part of me was willing to start this post by asking “Has David Cage ever played a video game?”  It was going to segue into how you could use the medium to tell or enhance a story, given that his game has been done, and done better.  But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that wasn’t the right question to ask.  There isn’t even a question I need to ask.  Why?  Because I have a theory.

David Cage doesn’t need to play more video games.  He needs to watch something dumb.

WARNING: Spoilers for Beyond: Two Souls AND Kamen Rider Fourze coming your way.  One of those is worth caring about.  The other isn’t.  Guess which one.

Season's Wii-tings: Wind Waker HD

A funny thing happened the other day.

There was a pretty big snowstorm the other day -- and by “snowstorm” I mean “here’s lots of ice, so screw you if you want to make a snowman” -- so me, my brother, and my buddy piled in to play video games.  In the midst of the two of them taking turns playing Resident Evil 4, my buddy made a proposition: if my brother gave him a ride to the nearby Wal-Mart to pick up some sour cream (seeing as how said buddy had to walk to game with us), then he’d offer us some tacos at his place.  Said brother wasn’t on board, but when he heard that he’d be able to snag Resident Evil 6 on the cheap, he figured it was worth braving the elements.  Anything for his beloved “great game, great experience.”

It turned out that with all the ice, his car was useless.  So if we wanted to get to Wal-Mart, we’d have to go there on our feet.  In the ice.  With night falling.  And that’s exactly what we did, against ALL of our better judgment.  It was a journey made in the name of tacos and terrible video games -- one that I just happened to go on by virtue of “going with the flow”, but one that I stayed annoyingly optimistic about all the way through…to the obvious displeasure of a brother who complained all the way there and back.  The trip took about an hour, and we slipped and tripped a little, but I had fun.  It would have been more fun if not for that miserable cold, but it’s not something I’ll forget for a while.

I get the sneaking suspicion that a lot of adventures are sparked by stupid decisions -- but once they’re done and everyone’s in their safe haven, what was once just stupid becomes something precious.  Something necessary.  We need adventure.

Which brings me (as circuitously as possible) to The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker HD.

Go see The World's End...also, I Hraet You.

*gestures to first half of post title* 

And there you go.  The shortest Cross-Up post yet.

…

…Sigh.  Never mind.  Let’s chat for a little bit.  About The World’s End -- and I Hraet You, too.

Let's discuss Xenoblade Chronicles (Part 1).

There’s only one wrong way to play Xenoblade Chronicles...and I found it.  

I’ll be upfront with you.  If for some reason you have a Wii, but never gave this game a shot, you owe it to yourself to track it down now.  And if you do, DON’T do what I did and pick away at it over the course of a year.  I know it’s a long game -- very long -- but the faster you beat it, the more likely you are to be able to digest its particulars in one fell swoop.  The gameplay, the story, all of it; if you have the willpower, I’d recommend an all-guns-blazing marathon run.  Don’t play any other games but Xenoblade until you finish it.  Got it?  That way, when you decide to sit down and write a post about it, you’ll be able to remember and type everything you need to in order to prove that you haven’t lost your touch.

…Though I could be reaching a bit.

Warning: There are some minor spoilers up ahead, so unless you want to subject yourself to the horrors within, I’d recommend avoiding this post.  Nothing deal-breaking, but there is stuff in there that’ll sour an experience if you’re not careful.

So let’s do this thing, and celebrate the one game that justifies the Wii’s existence.  You know, unless you count Skyward Sword, Punch-Out!!, Sin and Punishment: Star Successor, Kirby’s Epic Yarn, Trauma Team, NBA Jam, Donkey Kong Country Returns, Tatsunoko vs. Capcom, Super Smash Bros. Brawl, Super Mario Galaxy, Super Mario Galaxy 2, No More Heroes, No More Heroes 2, MadWorld, Sonic Colors, Super Paper Mario, Metroid Prime 3, Monster Hunter Tri, Mario Kart Wii, Muramasa: The Demon Blade, New Super Mario Bros. Wii, and about twenty other games on this list.

…Why do people give the Wii so much crap, exactly?

RE: The Last of Us

I think I’ve been playing this game the wrong way. 

Warning: Minor spoilers for the first few hours of the game.  Nothing too extensive, though -- and it’s stuff you could intuit just by looking at the box art. 

Let’s discuss some (more) good JRPGs.

Welcome back.  Ready for another round (finally)?  Cool.  Let’s start with a test of will.

Before I say anything else on some old JRPGs, I want to make one thing in particular clear: personally, I don’t JRPGs are doing so poorly this generation.  That’s not to say that the genre as a whole has been without problems today or yesterday (it hasn’t), or that they’ve been immune to the changes of the industry (they haven’t).  If you’ll let me be a little bold -- or let me repeat something I’ve said in passing before -- I think we have the current-gen misadventures of Final Fantasy to blame for JRPGs falling out of favor.  Whether or not the franchise has been good for years is and always will be up for debate, but there’s denying that it’s the biggest name and face of the genre.  If it falters, everyone else falters -- it’s the engraved assumption that if “the best in the genre” can’t put out a good product, none of them can.  Granted other titles have made their failures apparent as well, but when you consider which company’s name is on the label of those boxes…well, pattern recognition is unavoidable.

But make no mistake, we have gotten, are getting, and will keep getting good JRPGs.  A little while ago, Ni no Kuni came out -- and while I haven’t gotten around to playing it in depth just yet, from what I gather it’s a solid (if not great) game that’s not just a rise to glory for the genre, but maybe one of the best JRPGs in years.  This, of course, is the same slot that Xenoblade Chronicles occupied not too long ago.  And before that, there was still Lost Odyssey.  And let’s not forget the release of a handful of Atlus/Shin Megami Tensei titles, each one deserving of its own sort of praise.

Speaking of which, I’d say it’s about time to give one of those games its due.  So let’s get in deep with some good JRPGs…with the Fair Lady Hendricks -- and later in the post, the TRUE face of beauty -- guiding us. 

How do you like your carrots?  Dangled on a stick, or past a ring of fire?

Let’s discuss BioShock Infinite (Part 3).

And here we are at last -- the ending.  Where to begin, where to begin.

Warning: it all ends here, folks.  If you’re ready to take the plunge, read on.

Let’s discuss Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance (Part 2).

You know, I’m reminded of a conversation I had with my brother a couple of weeks ago.  He was really excited about the then-upcoming release of Revengeance; knowing that I tended to keep a pulse on game reviews, he asked me if I thought it would get good scores -- especially in comparison to the fresh-on-the-market DmC.  I gave him my prediction.  “No, it probably won’t get good reviews.  There’s no denying that it’ll be good, but the scores won’t be as high as DmC’s.  People will probably say the story is stupid, or confusing, or something.  Or some other flaw.”

And then the scores started popping up.  And indeed, it has seen some favorable reviews -- not enough to put its Metacritic score over DmC’s, but it is a close race.  That length seems to be a major sticking point.

But if there’s one thing that I’m starting to learn as of late, it’s that reviews are merely a suggestion of quality, not a confirmation of it.  Maybe my standards have just become annoyingly high in the last few years, but the sheer number of nines and tens from the gaming press seem to be less and less likely to translate into a “great game, great experience”, at least in my eyes.  I’m the kind of guy who READS the reviews, not just glances at the score.  And when I read about issues with the new Tomb Raider and issues with the new God of War, I’m starting to fear that I need to start magnifying those problems to figure out if a game is right for me.  Maybe I need to be doubly-negative.  If reviewers won’t be critical, I guess I’ll have to.

Which brings us back to Raiden’s Ass Kicking Jamboree.

WARNING: You are in for a crap-ton of spoilers if you read carelessly, so if you’re looking to play the game first with a fresh perspective, do so immediately.  Also, don’t do what I did and forget that the Select button lets you access the Codec and plenty of conversations with your pals.  Cripes, I’m terrible at Metal Gear games…

Let’s discuss Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance (Part 1).

It’s great.  Go play it.

What, you want more delicious words?  All right.  If you say so...

Let’s discuss (more of) Devil Survivor 2.

You know, it seems like every time someone brings up Atlus on the internet, it’s shortly followed by praise, adoration, or gushing.  Or alternatively -- or simultaneously -- declaring Atlus as the greatest gaming company around…whether that’s in regards to JRPGs, or just games in general.  It’s a little worrying to know that there’s so much fervor for one company; an outsider looking in might think of Atlus fans as some sort of cult-gathered, near-murderous zealots.  Or worse -- fanboys.

If nothing else -- if you learn nothing, or take away nothing else from these posts -- then you have to learn that Atlus’ love is unquestionably deserved.  What The House of Jack Frost lacks in resources or raw graphical power, they make up for with overwhelming style, enthralling stories, and gameplay that’ll make you want to take a sledgehammer to whatever system has the misfortune of loading up one of Atlus’ bosses.  (I still can’t believe I managed to clear Catherine.)  Just think about the amount of playtime you can get out of one of their titles.  How is it that a triple-A game might not last you through the weekend, but a game with a fraction of the budget can give you anywhere from fifteen to eighty hours of gameplay?  Similarly, how is it that a game designed to be a non-stop thrill ride from start to finish can barely be remembered a month after release, but a game infinitely more sedate has sequences, worlds, and even conversations I’ll remember for years to come?  I doubt any Persona 4 fans will forget the King’s Game anytime soon…among other things.

So yes, Atlus is more than deserving of praise.  From a technical perspective they’re not the most impressive, but the limits imposed in one area drove the developers to excel in others.  There’s a definitive creative vision in virtually every product they put out, one that has been and will continue to be appreciated by fans.  My biggest gripe?  No news on Persona 5…but then again, I’m more than willing to wait.

So consider that a PSA on why Atlus is amazing.  Now then, let’s get back on topic, yeah?

WARNING:

To move is to SPOILERS; and to be valiant is to MORE SPOILERS:

Therefore, if thou art SPOILED, thou runn’st away.

…

So yeah, there’ll be spoilers.

Let’s discuss (some of) Devil Survivor 2.

Huh.  So apparently, the Devil Survivor 2 anime is a thing that’s happening.

Generally speaking, I’m happy with this.  I have my reservations about the quality, but I’m sure it’ll do well enough.  It certainly helps that whenever I think about the game, this is my typical reaction.

…Okay, that might be a bit of hyperbole.  But you get the idea.

WARNING:

For never was a story of more woe

Than this, of SPOILERS and her MORE SPOILERS!

Let's discuss Sengoku Basara...and more.

I have a confession to make: I’m not really a fan of the Dynasty Warriors series.  I mean, at one point I was -- when I played the fourth game on the PS2, I was pleasantly surprised.  I made a warrior of my own with a massive sword, and delighted in spinning about like a death-blender to the sound of some rockin’ tunes.  And I do have some fond memories of co-op with my brother, and scrambling to survive against Lu Bu (“It’s Lu Bu!  Lu Bu has come to destroy us!”  Classic line, that).  And the victory jubilee is one of my favorite jingles ever.

But of course, my brother couldn’t leave well enough alone.  After the fun we had with 4, he decided to pick up DW5.  Fair enough…except the game was starting to lose its luster, and its flaws more apparent than last time.  Brain-dead AI, way-too-simple combat, and allied units that would make YOU fail a mission just because they can’t be arsed to practice a bit of self-control.  But I still played it…and the same applied when he picked up a cheap copy of DW5: Empires.  The sheen had really started wearing thin by then -- though interestingly, I would be the one playing it more, since I tried to take over China in the campaign.  Of course, in the interstice between games my brother nabbed the Japanese-substitute Samurai Warriors 2.  And after that, DW6 (a game which, as I recall, boasted that its new mechanics were the ability to swim and climb ladders).  And after that, DW7.  And that’s ignoring the anime tie-ins like DW: Gundam and Fist of the North Star: Ken’s Rage...though as noted, One Piece: Pirate Warriors is the best of the bunch.    And THAT’S ignoring the fact that we both played the hell out of the GameCube title Mystic Heroes, which (by virtue of being by the same company) might as well have been Dynasty Warriors, But with Magic and Big-Headed Children.

In recent years he’s gotten better about buying so haphazardly, but I can still see flashes of his fanaticism every now and then.  Case in point: when he started recommending a purchase of Sengoku Basara: Samurai Heroes on the grounds that it was “Like Dynasty Warriors, but better”, I wanted to start clobbering him with the PS3.  And maybe a sledgehammer for good measure.  But I decided to give it a chance.  It couldn’t have been that bad -- and of course, it was made by Capcom, the once-kingly purveyors of stylish crazy action.  It certainly helped that he had to order the game online because nobody from GameStop had even heard of Sengoku Basara.

“Like Dynasty Warriors, but better.”  That’s actually a very apt description.

Let's discuss some good JRPGs.

“Better than Final Fantasy.”

That’s a phrase I throw out a lot whenever my brother asks me what I think of a JRPG I’m trying out for the first time -- usually one I say in the most deadpan, bitter tone I can muster.  Of course, we’re talking about post-FF13 Final Fantasy, not any of the other ones…though where exactly the series took a nosedive will vary from one person to the next.  In my case, 13 was the one that I consider to be an affront and betrayal.  And pretty much everything since then has not only affirmed that there’s still plenty of hope for the genre, but that in many respects Final Fantasy has been surpassed both before and after 13’s release.  There’s always a possibility that Squeenix can pull out of its tailspin with some massive changes, or the release of Versus 13 that will supposedly restore the faith (though I’m increasingly worried about how it’ll turn out), but until then there are plenty of games that’ll scratch that itch.  And I’m going to start naming them here and now.  Whether they’re underrated, unknown, or just plain under…a rug or something…let’s have a good long talk about some JRPGs.  Or…part one of a long talk.  Probably.  You know me.

...And this is the part where I wonder how many people actually read that paragraph instead of staring at the picture on its immediate right.

Well, whatever.  Go right ahead -- read on, if you’re looking for something to tickle your fancy.  And who knows?  Maybe you’ll get more pictures of Christina Hendricks along the way. 

And that’s how you dangle a carrot on a stick.

Let’s discuss The Legend of Zelda: Majora’s Mask (Part 3)

>investigating boundary limits

>scanning for data

>recording found

>uploading

>launching post 269

Let's (briefly) discuss Far Cry 3.

Far Cry 3 is a weird game.

I was willing to give it a pass and a polite dismissal based on its less-than-appealing E3 showing; it didn’t look like anything special besides Call of Duty in the jungle with more knife action.  But then again, almost everything this past E3 looked like some variant/bastard child of CoD and Uncharted, so I hope you’ll forgive me for being a little jaded.  Still, the fact that my brother hyped up the game to an insane degree -- i.e. saying “Far Cry 3 is gonna be so awesome” in the same tone he’d used to describe Darksiders 2, Borderlands 2 and Resident Evil 6 -- didn’t inspire much confidence.  Doubly so when he mentioned the co-op option; I started having PTSD flashbacks to RE6 and its room full of explosive Beyblades. 

So Far Cry’s been out for a while now.  What do I think of it?  Well, let's see if I can sum it up in three points.  This should be a piece of cake.

1) Ignore multiplayer.  It completely misses the point of the single-player game.

2) I like the campaign.

3) The campaign is notably flawed from the outset.

This is a game that’s incredibly easy to nitpick and chide.  Incredibly easy.  But you know what?  It’s not a deal-breaker.  Well, not yet at least.