That Time I Tried Getting into Sword Art Online

I mean, granted, I didn’t try very hard.  But there was an attempt.

The Smash Ultimate Salt Mines (feat. Byleth)

Yep.  There’s no getting out of this one.

Her Name is Rio…Wait, No it Isn’t

Well, it’s been a while since I’ve done any ranting and rambling about my writing stuff.  I mean, given how many times I’ve griped about the works of others, it’s only natural that I invite scorn upon my meager, feeble soul by pulling the curtain back on what I’ve been working on.  The central premise, on some level, has always been “test myself by testing others”, but doing the reverse is more than valuable.

Ideally, this blog wouldn’t be the platform to do it.  Here’s the thing, though: there were, at one point, plans to hop on TV Tropes’ forums (for the first time in a while) and try and court feedback there.  As a character-focused writer angling for praise from a character-focused society, it would’ve served me well to have others weigh in on the leading lady I’ve been cooking up for the past ten months.  Thing is, there was a problem: I didn’t know her name.

I’ve failed you, Duran Duran…the Funko Pops of which are seeing a surge in popularity, for some reason.

RE: Teppen

You know, I’ve got to hand it to Kingdom Hearts III.  Not only is it a game I still actively despise nearly a year after its release (to the letter, no less), but it’s also the one game in my time blogging that’s actually managed the impossible: it made me throw out a post I was working on because it wasn’t up to snuff -- and bringing it to par would have tacked on at least three thousand more words.  Also?  It feels pointless to talk about it until the DLC comes out, so I can finally close the book on my most disappointing game of 2019.

Speaking of 2019?  Devil May Cry V is my 2019 Game of the Year, and I almost wrote about that instead.  But given how…certain upcoming events (as of writing) may or may not play out, I think I’ll hold off before I instantly date myself with the opening ramble.  So as a substitution?  Here’s another game that’s in my Top 5 of 2019.

It’s Teppen time, y’all.  Because man, I seriously love this game.

RE: Omega Labyrinth Life

Now, I’m not going to say that Omega Labyrinth Life is the best game of 2019 -- far from it -- but in some ways, it is among one of the most interesting I’ve played this year.  The sort of thing I can’t help but want to put under the microscope, you know?  Which I did.  And, despite its nature…and history…and premise…and everything…I’m actually, genuinely kind of glad I took the plunge.

That said, this plunge cements the fact that I’m bound for the deepest, hottest circle of Hell.  So, yeah, I’ve been given one more reason to not die anytime soon.

Thanks, video game!

Teppen! But Also, Housekeeping (and Indignation)

I can’t think of a lot of games that I’ve fallen for so quickly, but wouldn’t you know it?  Teppen is one of them.  And to think it’d not only be the very first mobile game I’ve talked about on this blog, but the very first mobile game I’ve ever owned.  Well, besides some Tetris/Pac-Man hybrid built into this one phone I had a geologic age ago.

So let’s talk about Teppen.  Briefly.  Because God forbid, I get to talk about something I actually like and/or can be positive about.

Re: RE: Pokémon Sword and Shield

Hoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo boy.

All right, look.  I know I implied last time that I would use this slot to gripe about Gundam Build Divers Re:Rise, but then I played through some more Pokémon Sword.  How much more?  Enough to clear the main story, and get within inches of clearing the “postgame” …and probably would have if the game hadn’t experienced a fatal error and crashed to the home screen, prompting a rage quit/decision to wash dishes/continue watching Parks and Recreation.  Speaking of, I’m super into Parks and Rec now.  I regret not watching it when it was on-air, but blame my TV and its utter inability to properly tune to NBC.  Certainly not me.

I’m at risk of losing the plot.  So let’s talk about Pokémon Sword.

RE: Pokémon Sword and Shield

So I’m six gyms deep into Pokémon Sword, and creeping up on the seventh.  I probably shouldn’t be, but here I am.  To think there was a time when I said I was planning to sit the game out.

The reasoning was sound.  The eighth-generation game -- both for the franchise, and in terms of consoles -- has been mired in controversies for months.  “The graphics are awful.”  “They’re cutting out Pokémon.” “Features are getting dropped.” “They’re not even trying.” “Game Freak lied.” And so on, and so forth.  All things considered?  I didn’t need another franchise installment in my life.  I fell off at the endgame of Moon, and was willing to sit it out until Gen 9’s inevitable drop.  Maybe then, Game Freak would straighten things out.  Earn fans’ trust with a title that knocked it into space.  I bought into the fans’ outcry (despite previous indifference to it) and decided, yeah, supporting the game meant supporting a slide into mediocrity.  So, I didn’t.

Then my brother bought the game regardless.  I suspect he would have even if he knew about the controversies -- which meant I’d have to give the game an honest shot.

Pfft.  Who needs integrity, anyway?

RE: Death Stranding

Death Stranding is the kind of game that’ll make you question what a game can, if not should, be.  

The problem is that, if you’re anything like me, then you’ll be asking that question for all the wrong reasons.

The Smash Ultimate Salt Mines (feat. Terry)

Oh, look at what I found.  It’s a ticket for a trip to the salt mines once again.  No, it’s no problem at all, Sakurai and crew. Let me just get my helmet and gloves -- oh, and a decent pair of pants, too -- and I’ll just crawl right in.  I’m not worried about my lungs at all. Not like there’s coal or anything for me to breathe in.  And what do I even need my lungs for, huh?

*sigh*

The update that brought Terry Bogard into Super Smash Bros. Ultimate is the same one that buffed Jigglypuff, my least favorite character to fight in the entire game.  Great.  I was looking for a reason to throw my Switch in the trash.

On the other hand, Buster Wolf.  So it evens out.  Barely.