ShootStravaganza!! Battlefield 4

“The LORD is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. He will not always chide, nor will He keep His anger forever. He does not deal with us according to our sins, nor repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is His steadfast love toward those who fear Him; as far as the east is from the west, so far does He remove our transgressions from us.”

--Psalm 103:8-12

*sigh*

So.  You knew this one was coming, didn’t you?

The Problem with Watch Dogs (Part 3 -- FINALE)

So.  Have you seen the new Godzilla movie?

I haven’t.  Plans were being made at one point, but they fell through when time ran out (i.e. we would rather play video games).  Just as well, though; I wasn’t in any rush to see it, because it would have meant I’d have to take time out to do at least one post on it…not to mention that I’d have to sit through it.  And the MovieBob review -- among others -- told me pretty much everything I dreaded would happen: 1) Godzilla is almost (not quite, but almost) marginalized in his own movie, 2) Bryan Cranston isn’t in it as much as trailers and promos would suggest, and 3) the story follows some generic soldier with a generic story instead of anyone interesting.  Like Ken Watanabe’s character, for one.

Maybe I would have cared about the movie more if I hadn’t seen the trailer -- or had thought it was “amazing”, since that was apparently enough to get plenty of people hyped.  But I guess that trailer, and the movie at large, offered more than enough.  It must have, seeing as how it’s become a runaway hit, and there are already mumblings of a sequel.  So if people are happy, then maybe that’s good enough. 

But maybe it isn’t.

Which brings me back to Watch Dogs.

The Problem with Watch Dogs (Part 2)

You know, sometimes I wonder if I should just give up video games.

I wonder, but I never get that far -- never past that threshold.  That’s because there are still a lot of good games out there.  Metal Gear Rising.  BioShock Infinite.  GTA5.  The Wonderful 101.  Transistor.  Tokyo Jungle. Mario 3D World.  Dark Souls and its kin.  And most recently, Mario Kart 8.  So it’s not a matter of apocalyptic mumbling, or some assumption that the video game industry is doomed.  There are good games out right now, good games that have come out semi-recently, and good games that are destined to see release before year’s end.  There is absolutely no reason to give in to doomsaying and gloom.

That all said, there is a distinction.  There is something that I have no problem giving up -- and that’s bad video games.  Sounds simple enough, sure.  Nobody wants to waste their time with a bad game, least of all me; suffering through a stinker just reminds me how much more writing I could get done instead, and how much more fun I could have had typing out my yarns.  But recently, it seems like my instincts have gotten sharper.  For one reason or another, I’ve gotten better at suspecting trouble in games before they even hit the shelves.  So I guess from now on, it’s going to be a matter of trusting them instead of wasting my time trying to give those stinkers “a fair shake”. 

Is there a chance that I could be turning my back on a “great game, great experience”?  Yes.  But there’s also the chance that I could be 100% right.  That even if reviews give a game no less than a 7 (itself the “danger zone” of review scores), that’s no guarantee of its quality or even close to a good time.

And there’s no other game that proves that -- that tells me to cast judgment long beforehand -- better than Watch Dogs.

The Problem with Watch Dogs (Part 1)

Here’s everything you need to know about how I feel about Watch Dogs in one go.

At the end of my first session with the game I ended up jumping onto a freeway so I could get a car and head to the next mission.  I ran around for a little while, taking in the sights and fiddling with the in-game phone/magic wand to try and hack things in the environment.  I didn’t expect to find anything worth doing, but to my surprise I found a sign that I could hack.  So I hit the Square button, and it changed before my eyes.  So instead of offering some useful information, it changed to a simple message:

“U MAD, BRO?”

I sat there and stared at the screen for half a minute.  And then I threw the controller aside, turned off the console, and went to eat some hot dogs.

So yeah.  I would tell you that the bar is set pretty low, but I’m not the best judge.  That would require me to find the bar first, and last I checked it was hurtling toward the center of the earth.

Lightning Returns: One Final Battle

I don’t think I’ve had an existential crisis this bad since I watched Transformers: Dark of the Moon and legitimately wanted to bash my head against something until everything went black. 

Just thought I’d throw that out there to set the tone.

Let’s discuss inFAMOUS: Second Son (Part 2).

So I guess I lied about the last post being the first and only time I used the proper capitalization.

You know, I think I might have thought of a way to solve Infamous’ recurring problem.  Or “problem”, if you prefer; it’s pretty much built on certain mechanics and conventions, after all, and some people actually like the way it plays out.  Others don’t.  Either way, the key problem is that -- as Second Son shows -- by trying to make Delsin and his game pull triple-duty to accommodate a good path and evil path along with neutral, mission-to-mission characterization, overall he’s weakened as a character.  I’m glad I got to play as a Good Delsin, but the moments where I got to see his heroic persona come to light aren’t nearly frequent enough.  What IS frequent are scenes and dialogue that could have been spoken by Good Delsin, Evil Delsin, Neutral Delsin, or DmC’s Donte if he was actually worth a damn.

Yeah.  I’m still sore that game exists.  Given that Second Son’s story has reopened old wounds, can you blame me?  Even good guys have their limits, you know.

It’s probably worth noting that as I type this, I’m listening to a remix of the Tekken Tag opening.  And since that has the infamous Electric Wind God Fist, that’s a good enough segue for me to declare that there are SPOILERS incoming.

Is it good enough for you?  Okay.  Then let’s go with this one: BRING IT ON, YA ALIENS!

Let’s discuss inFAMOUS: Second Son (Part 1).

That’s the first and last time I’m going to properly type the name of the franchise.

Recent news has revealed that, as of this post, Sony’s new kid on the block the PS4 has surpassed seven million sales.  Seven million consoles are out there, not just on the shelves, but in the hands of customers all around.  That is a lot of consoles -- given that roughly a month ago that number was at six million, it’s likely that those numbers are going to rise at an incredible rate yet again.  After all, the prevalent theory is that the recent surge is because of Infamous: Second Son.

But with that in mind, I have to ask a question: what?  Or if not that, then…why?

I’m not going to tell anyone that they’re wrong for their opinions, or their purchases by extension.  But I hope you’ll forgive me for being more than a little confused.  The PS4 does NOT have the library right now to justify its purchase.  It just doesn’t.  Okay, sure, it’s got some solid indie games out there, but those aren’t enough.  The selling point should be in the big releases -- and those have yet to cut it.  Knack isn’t doing it.  Killzone: Shadow Fall isn’t doing it.  Battlefield 4, Assassin’s Creed 4, and Tomb Raider: Definitive Edition aren’t doing it -- not to mention that they’re multiplatform titles, and far from revolutionary in their own right.  I can understand the “early adopter” mentality, but right now the only reason why people might be running out to buy the latest console is because of a barrage of commercials…some of which don’t even show any gameplay.  Or games. 

So.  If you want to know what I think of Second Son without suffering through thousands of words, there you go.  Things aren’t exactly ideal.

SPOILERS!  UNLIMITED SPOILERS!  Ahhhhhhhh…

I would have gone with the lyrics for “Ride the Lightning”, but Palpatine beckoned.

On the Designated Hero

Well, my intention was to upload a post on something positive for once -- one that I actually wrote weeks ago, in fact -- but I changed my mind.  Just as well, though; this is a topic that’s been on my mind for a while, and more so thanks to what I’ve seen recently.  The sooner I can get it out of my brain and on (virtual) paper, the better off I’ll be.  Plus it can serve as kind of a lead-in to the actual good stuff I WANT to talk about.

So.  You might have noticed that I put up a post on the new RoboCop movie.  If you didn’t, let me confirm the obvious and tell you it’s exactly as terrible you expected it to be...to the point where I felt like I had to add in a tag called "Insults to Intelligence".  (I get the feeling I'm going to be using that one a lot more in the future.)  In fact, I was debating whether it or 47 Ronin was the worst movie I’d seen in theaters recently, and RoboCop won the prize.  I may have fallen asleep during 47 Ronin, but the aggressive stupidity of RoboCop -- and the reckless conviction that puts that stupidity front and center -- edged out the competition.  Besides, at least with 47 it kind of had a point in existing, even if it DID botch the story every step of the way.

RoboCop (2014, and yet another example of a remake/reboot that tries to take the place of the original by copying the title) has many problems.  Many, many problems.  But the one that sticks out to me is with its title character.  Not just because he’s bland and marginalized in his own movie; no, it’s because he reminds me of problems that a LOT of other characters have had recently.  And it’s a problem that I’m starting to realize is the one thing that I hate above all others.

Can you guess what it is?  Without going to TV Tropes first?

RoboCop: (Don’t) Feel the Love

This is usually the part where I make some long and meandering intro only vaguely connected to the main post, but if you read the title, you can probably guess how I can feel about this movie.  And it’s probably the way a lot of other people feel about this movie.  And if you’ve seen it already, then it’s probably the way YOU feel about this movie.

In a shocking turn of events, RoboCop (2014) is an awful movie that only exists because of the original movie, will only get viewers because of the goodwill from that movie, and shouldn’t exist because the original move already exists.  The only reason I suffered through it was because my brother got suckered by said goodwill, and to celebrate his birthday.

For the record, I can’t think of a time when I wanted to punch him in the face more than when he decided we’d see RoboCop.  So let’s talk about why, before I slip into an incompetence-induced coma.  Oh, and SPOILERS, I guess.  But whatever.  I’d hope you don’t intend to watch the movie of your own will.

God, why couldn’t we just go see The Lego Movie?  That’s based on a nostalgic property, too…