November 26, 2018

Just Another Hero (AKA Hiatus Time)


Now, I’m not saying that My Hero Academia is the best shonen manga/anime in the history of the genre and demographic -- or if not that, then at least in recent years -- buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut


…I can’t think of a non-incriminating way to finish that sentence.  So I’ll just embed a clip of All Might and leave it at that.

November 22, 2018

Let’s discuss The MISSING: J.J. Macfield and the Island of Memories.


It doesn’t take much for me to point out the biggest fault in The MISSING: that at the end of the day, it’s let down by the quality of its gameplay.

That isn’t to say it’s an all-out failure.  Everything works as intended in this puzzle-platformer -- spearheaded by Hidetaka Suehiro (Swery65) of Deadly Premonition and D4 fame -- so you can expect some challenges that demand you make full use of the mechanics.  Minor technical hiccups aside, it’s smooth sailing from start to finish.  Relatively speaking.  The problem is that, while the gameplay isn’t bad or even mediocre, it’s still fairly plain and straightforward.  Workmanlike, even.  

There aren’t really any puzzles that force you to wrack your brain, and there’s not much of a difficulty curve forcing you to sharpen your wits or skills as you go.  At most, you’ll only get platforming challenges along the way -- which, at their worst, are only challenging because you’re put into scenarios where one-hit KOs are a legitimate, prevalent issue.  Basically, don’t get this game if you’re the type that needs technical acuity or execution barriers in your games.  Dark Souls, this is not.

Instead, get it for everything else.

ALL THE SPOILERS INCOMING…which kind of makes this post impossible to read for those who want to go in raw, but whatever.  If you’re worried, just…I dunno, go eat some donuts instead.  I bet Swery would be fine with that.

November 19, 2018

Go play The MISSING. (Also, writing junk.)


Now, I don’t want to oversell the game, but let me say this about The MISSING: J.J. Macfield and the Island of Memories. Its greatest sin is that it released in the same year and quarter as Super Smash Bros. Ultimate -- because if it chose any other time period, then it would probably, if not easily, be my Game of the Year.

I mean, it’s not perfect.  There are some technical issues (on the Switch, at least), a decent chunk of the puzzles are surprisingly basic (except for one at the end involving a big shoe), the voice acting occasionally reaches a point where main heroine JJ is channeling the spirit of Tommy Wiseau, and…yeah, I can see the general length of the game -- or lack thereof -- being a sticking point for gamers that want bang for their buck.  Then again, my $30 got me about 8 hours of entertainment, so your mileage may vary.  Also this is both a complaint and a compliment: this game really pops off in the final act or so, meaning that the ending is…yikesy mikesy.

I’ll probably talk more about the game another day, but for now?  Buy it, watch an LP, read up on it, consume it however you can.  Now let’s spend the rest of this post talking about big dumb writing projects.

November 12, 2018

Final Fantasy: All the Bumblers


Hmm.  Let’s see.  I could do another relevant, incisive, and heartfelt post on politics.  Or, alternatively, I could dump all over a franchise that’s way too easy to make fun of, yet draws my eye and ire every time because of a worthless vendetta I have against one of gaming’s most beloved brands.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.  Tough choice.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Oh, wait.  It’s not a tough choice at all.  Gather around, children, for today is a glorious day.  Come, take a seat around the campfire as Grandpappy Voltech blathers on about Final Fantasy.  Again.  Because it’s what you crave, presumably.

November 8, 2018

Re: RE: Super Smash Bros. Ultimate


How to become a Game of the Year 2018 contender instantly -- irrespective of actual game quality or even a full release -- as explained by Super Smash Bros. Ultimate.

Step One: KILL EVERYONE YOU LOVE.

That’s…pretty much the only step.

November 5, 2018

Sideswiped by Politics (Part 1)


Is Smash Bros. Ultimate out yet?

No?

*sigh* Fine.  Let’s talk about politics some more.