I Hraet You (20)

Beat 20: Oh Right, There Are Other Characters

7:42 A.M.

Costs Accrued: $29.50

“So what happens now, pal?”

JP waved a hand through the air as he continued his business, sitting pretzel-style on the laundry room floor.  “Don’t stand over me when I’m working.  It’s irritating.”

Trixie backed up a few steps, though it didn’t help very much; she’d seen cardboard boxes with more breathing room.  She pressed her back into a hanging calendar, arms folded and finger tapping against her elbow to the beat of the bumping dryer.  “Ya said ya had somethin’ planned for me, so --”

“And I do,” said JP, the snipping of his task just barely audible over the nearby machines.  “So be a good little girl and be quiet for a while.  Think you can manage that, Tex?”

Of Virtua Fighter and Volcano Knees

A while back, I was having a conversation with my dentist about what I was going to do that summer.  “Do some writing” was the obvious choice, but with no small number of tools hovering around my mouth I wasn’t in much of a mood for conversation about the particulars.  So I just said “play some video games.”

“Oh?  Do you have Wii Sports?” he asked with a smile.  “My kids love that -- all that boxing and stuff.”  I told him that I did (though I’d loaned it out to a friend).  “What kind of games do you like?”

“Fighting games,” I answered -- though with his assistant currently shoving metal into my mouth, it sounded more like “Haahigg gaaaaze.”  I managed to raise my fists to illustrate.

It was a weird moment in more ways than one.  See, I like to think of myself as an intellectual gamer -- one that preferred titles emphasizing the mind and strategy instead of rote button-hammering and battering enemies with bullets and nail bats.  So I’ve collected my fair share of RPGs and strategy games -- a couple of Advance Wars, a couple of Disgaeas, a heaping helping of Shin Megami Tensei games…I even spent the better part of six months pining for Valkyria Chronicles.  I hold games that give you time to stop and think in high esteem...and the less said about my love of Phoenix Wright and 999, the better.

Given that, you’d think that I’d hate fighting games.  And to some extent, you’d be right. 

I Hraet You (19)

Beat 19: Always Restock Your Fridge.  Always.  

The principal’s office.  Lloyd had been to it a few times in the past; he was there when the drama club tried (and failed) to garner some more funds.  Not to mention requesting a slot for the club’s bake sale.  And the less said about his regular visits on matters of sexual harassment, the better. 

He sat as tranquilly as he could in the chair, staring at the cluttered desk before him.  Towers of ruffled paper and enough pens to lend to the entire student body lay atop it; behind it, an oversized, upholstered office chair that would suit a king.  A slew of cabinets dotted the room, framing short-yet-stuffed bookcases.  Ritzy plaques and forms decorated the walls, though Lloyd noticed that since last spring a few more fishing-themed pictures had gone up.  The room might have looked a bit stuffy -- and smelled like dried-out fish -- but to some extent, Lloyd couldn’t help but relax.

EVO 2012...Also, I Hraet You

So.  Guess what I'm watching?

Iron Chef?

As anyone who's seen me online knows (especially given the name of the blog), I have a deep appreciation and respect for fighting games.  Am I good at them?  Not really, no.  I've got slow reflexes, and I can't do much outside of a very limited number of combos.  Even so, I like the ideas behind them -- the strategy, the systems, the characters, and the over-the-top style prominent in virtually every game...well, except Mortal Kombat.  Don't care for that one.

Maybe this won't be so bad...

Can't go wrong with a Rastafarian color scheme, right?

Street Fighter: America Sheds a Tear for the 4th

I pledge allegiance to the hair

Of the greatest Street Fighter in America

And to the rolling sobat, on which he charges

One Sonic Boom, under Guile

Invincibility frames, with liberty, and Flash Kicks for all.

Happy Fourth of July, everyone -- from one world warrior to another.

Kingdom Hearts: Eraqus, This is Your Story

I’m a little wary about watching Birth by Sleep to its conclusion.

It’s on my to-do list, but it just feels like BBS is sliding farther and farther down that list.  I started watching Aqua’s story a while back, but I haven’t found the drive to see it through to the end (and of course, the same applies for the final story/ending).  Really, what do I have to look forward to?  Aqua faffing about in Disney dimensions for eighty percent of her story, only to have about ten percent of it actually matter?  And for what?  A final showdown featuring more cryptic, sequel-begging dialogue?  More abuse of The Big Four Words of the series (light, darkness, hearts, friends)?  Setup for the rest of the franchise that’s ultimately inconsequential? 

I view BBS as a story that, at the end of the day, didn’t need to be told.  It’s like if someone wrote a book about the origin of the guy who made Abraham Lincoln’s hat -- sure, it’s interesting, but does it really change anything?  Hell no.  I’d rather read a book about Abraham Lincoln, because he’s the one doing all the legwork as one of the presidents (figuratively speaking, of course).  I don’t want to read about the emotional turmoil of a hat-maker -- doubly so if said turmoil comes from one character that’s nigh-inconsequential, and another character that doesn’t know his foot from a bottle of sarsaparilla. 

But I’ve been thinking about the game for a while.  I’ve been thinking about why the game intrigued me in the first place.  I can tell you right now it wasn’t Ven, and certainly not Terra; I placed a fair portion of my hope in Aqua, as per my gut instincts.  But there was another character that caught my eye, and even got me to like him by virtue of his potential high-level-badassery. 

And it’s at this point I have to wonder: why wasn’t this game about Master Eraqus?

LOOK HOW BADASS HE IS!  LOOK AT HIM!

Back in the game.

*holds envelope to head*

Four fireworks shops, a tank, an artillery cannon, horse poop in the middle of the road, a WWII special on The History Channel, sweet and sour sauce, a sack full of pee, Bingo pens, a keyboard, eighty percent of my shaved-off hair, a crapton of wasps, and a town called Cut n' Shoot.

*opens envelope*

...Things I Saw At, Near, or On The Way to My Grandma's House.

Yeah, I'm back from my little trip.  And I got a haircut.  You know what that means; Cross-Up is back online, with all the posts you could ever hope (?) for.  And on that note, a quick announcement: updates on I Hraet You will resume this Sunday.  I want to keep up the two-chapter-a-week routine, plus I want to build a nice, healthy buffer...to say nothing of me working on some other projects.  Maybe you'll see them on the blog soon enough.

Or maybe I'll just stare at them until I wither and die.  I haven't decided yet.  Until then, enjoy this eerily appropriate song (based on its title mostly).

I Hraet You (18)

Beat 18: It Really Could Have Ended Only One Way

Deirdre let fly a coquettish giggle.  “Well, you’re a little slow on the uptake, aren’t you, Tiger?” she asked, flashing a gleaming smile.  “Do you want me to spell it out for you?”

Lloyd shook his head jerkily.

“Well, that’s a shame, isn’t it?  Because I’m gonna spell it out anyway -- just so you and I are on the same…hmmm hmmm, wavelength.”  She tugged herself upward, pressing her breasts against Lloyd’s chest, and shifting her cotton tail against his leg, as she moved toward his ear.  “You and I are going to [CENSORED] and [CENSORED] all day and all night, and then [CENSORED] while you [STILL CENSORED] and I [DEFINITELY CENSORED].  And then I’ll [WOW THAT’S MOST CERTAINLY CENSORED] with a [OH SWEET APPLE PIE THAT’S CENSORED] while I [GOOD GOOGLY-MOOGLY I’M NOT GETTING PAID ENOUGH FOR CENSORING] and [OKAY THIS IS JUST WRONG I’M OUTTA HERE] like a Portuguese man-o-war.”  She ran a finger across the top of his ear.  “Sound fun?”

Columna Cerului? Collaboration?! Crazy!

Transcending history and the world, a tale of souls and swords, eternally retold...oh wait, wrong game.

Anyway, for the past couple of weeks I've been working on a collaborative project with my blogging comrade, Konstantine.  Who is that, you ask? Konstantine Paradias is a metaphysical singularity -- a collapsing point on which warriors, philosophers, and lovers from days past live on within his blazing core.  As decided by fate and his own noble soul, he has chosen to use his great and terrible power for the betterment of mankind.    He also reviews comic books.
   
That (incredibly honest and truthful) introduction aside, we've worked together to come up with a product that will hopefully delight, entertain, and make you want to ram dollars through your screen into cyberspace -- a dream RPG dubbed Columna Cerului.  Go read the hell out of it...and if you haven't already, be sure to follow the crap out of his blog.  It's probably the smartest thing you'll do all day -- or at the very least, the best thing you can do with your time online.

You heard me.