Final Fantasy Type-0: Kill ‘Em All, Kupo! (FINALE)

“When nine and nine meet nine, the depths of reason shall stir. When the seal of creation is broken, a voice like thunder shall sound, and thou shalt know -- we have arrived.”

--Ace in the Final Fantasy Type-0 opening.

Huh.

So you know what I just realized?  I have no idea what that means.

Do We Need Final Fantasy Anymore?

You knew this was coming, didn’t you?

Final Fantasy Type-0: Kill ‘Em All, Kupo! (Part 8)

*HEADDESK*

*HEADDESK*

*HEADDESK*

*HEADDESK*

*HEADDESK*

All right.  Let’s talk about the ending.

*desk breaks*

Do We Need Assassin’s Creed Anymore?

Hey guys!  Did you see the trailer and stuff for Assassin’s Creed: Syndicate?  It’s a brand new start for the franchise, and the game that will do next-gen consoles justizzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…

Yeah.  Like I could keep that one up for long.

Final Fantasy Type-0: Kill 'Em All, Kupo! (Part 7)

“Hey, what was that red stuff at the start of the game?”

That was what I asked myself several times throughout the game, most notably in the second-to-last chapter.  See, in the first mission there’s a red mist and lights and tentacles that appear out of nowhere that -- well, they don’t really attack you per se.  They just kind of hang there menacingly, and none of your attacks work on them.  They’re gone before long, though, both in the mission and the story at large.  Seriously, I don’t think anyone comments on what they saw.  Ever.  It’s pretty much stricken from the game -- a game which, I should say upfront, I’ve finished as of this post (as compared to the earlier ones).

Since the game pretty much decided to ignore it, I did too.  I focused on the main plot, i.e. the war between the on-the-ropes Rubrum and the invading Militesi Empire.  As such, the main villain of the game (if you could call him that) is Imperial Marshal Cid Aulstyne, the guy behind the Empires forces…if we assume that said empire has no distinction between military leaders and political leaders, but whatever.  It’s safe to say that he’s the one players will have to face off at some point -- because with this being a Final Fantasy game, and following in the footsteps of vanilla FF13, anyone who is old and has wrinkles is evil and must die.

Sounds simple enough, right?  Oh, if only…

Let's discuss Mortal Kombat X (Part 2).

Credit where credit’s due -- MKX deserves some props for being the first game to have an item-unlocking shop where a virtual wolf can attack you.

The Krypt could have been a simple menu, but apparently the guys at NetherRealm went the extra mile and created a faux-dungeon crawler for you to move around in.  It’s not what I’d call amazing, and it’s probably an annoyance to anyone who just wants a menu to buy costumes/concept art/Fatalities, but it has its purpose.  Seeing as how you have to get in-game currency to unlock stuff, it incentivizes players to get in deep with the other game modes -- which is good, because it makes them practice without necessarily “wasting time” in training mode.

There are multiple “towers” for players to tackle at their leisure, each with their own unique conditions (the Test Your Might tower being the place to button-mash your way to glory).  Okay, sure, playing against CPUs isn’t exactly the best way to train, but it’s something; it lets the player get used to the game before they take the fight online or against friends.  Or, alternatively, it gets them ready for MKX’s Faction War, wherein you choose a clan at the start and complete challenges (online or off) to boost your Faction’s rank and gain rewards.  As far as I know, that’s a bust -- because surprise, surprise, everyone wanted to be part of the ninja team and there’s no point in even trying to fight back.

So forget it.  Let’s move on to the story. 

Spoilers are about to GET OVER HERE, so watch out.  Also, I thought about replacing all the Cs in this post with Ks, but that would’ve been stupid and annoying, so screw it.

Final Fantasy Type-0: Kill ‘Em All, Kupo! (Part 6)

It’s funny how a game can wear down all your optimism and goodwill, isn’t it?  But, here we are.

…Yeah, this game sucks.

Let’s discuss Mortal Kombat X (Part 1).

I’d just like to take a moment to mention that in my first match of Mortal Kombat X, I managed to pull off a Fatality just by mashing a couple of directions and hitting a button.  It was complete luck, but somehow I found Jax ripping open Reptile’s head and stuffing a cigar into it like an ashtray.  Almost immediately, my brother accused me of looking it up on the internet beforehand -- the greatest of sins to be committed when trying out a fighting game raw.  (Though it’s worth noting he spent a fair amount of time with vanilla Marvel 3 before our inaugural match.)

I think at that stage, he drastically overestimated how much I cared about winning.  As I’ve said, I’ve never cared about Mortal Kombat, and anyone who assumes that I hate it is justified in doing so.  I’m not saying that anyone who does like it is wrong; it’s just that it isn’t for me.  I’ve got an armada’s worth of biases, and unfortunately they’ve kept MK from even setting sail on the metaphorical ocean. 

But hope springs eternal.  Maybe this, NetherRealm’s latest attempt to bring in new fans and old loyalists, and offer up the TRUE next-gen fighting game, is the chosen one.  Does it have what it takes?  If nothing else, can it win me over at last?

Well, let me say this to start: I think I get Mortal Kombat now.