You don’t need me to
tell you how bad Infinite Stratos is,
because it shoots itself in the foot with a cannonball from the start.
The premise is
that in the future, all military hardware has been surpassed by the IS system -- that is, women don armor and weaponry and duke it out wherever
conflicts may arise. So basically, women
in this universe don’t pilot mechs; they ARE the mechs, only significantly
dumber. I refuse to believe that there’s
a military in any universe that would approve of girls
going out to battle with armored arms and legs, but nothing to protect their
heads or bodies (or thighs, in many cases) but a skintight leotard. Setting aside the fact that we have tanks,
planes, and ballistic missiles for a reason, even if the IS pilots had an
“anti-everything shield” it doesn’t work in the context of this universe. One of the first main characters introduced
is a sniper. Unless she’s the only sniper in the world,
there’s nothing stopping any given soldier from grabbing a rifle and ending a
few lives from halfway across the battlefield.
But you know what? The concept itself isn’t completely
wrong. If the only reason these girls
are in fanservice-ready suits is because of fanservice, then all they had to do
was take out the military aspect and put them in a different context. Put them in some kind of sports
competition. Have them be on teams, and
competing in arenas for fame and fortune.
Have them literally try their hardest to put on a show. That would make it so that A) there are no
gaps in logic over how there could be a military that approves this concept, B)
there are no tonal issues trying to marry a serious plot with…the other kind of
plot, and C) you don’t make the military, real or not, out to be such a
farce. All Infinite Stratos needed to do was make a few minor tweaks, and it
could have approached being good. Alas,
it didn’t care enough to try.
So what does it care
about, then?
I have a feeling that this
is gonna be one of those posts…
I’ve heard the argument
that if you don’t think about Infinite
Stratos as a mecha show and think of it as a harem comedy, it’s much
better. I don’t buy into that at all, in
the same sense that I don’t buy into the “turn your brain off” mentality used
to “enjoy” things like the Transformers movies. Ignoring the fact that you kind of need your
brain on at all times, you can have your dumb movie and engage with it for a
much greater experience than basic, visceral thrills. Not too long ago, Pacific Rim showed us just how rewarding a movie can be
intellectually and emotionally, especially if you give it the (rightful) chance
for it to engage you on more levels than just “giant robots punching
monsters”. Simply put, if you have to
apologize for the faults of a story to the point of ignoring its faults or
lowering your standards, then it’s a bad story.
Period.
But I’ve found
something interesting when it comes to Stratos. I read the comments on anime blogs before I
watched the anime itself, and it’s given a clear sign that not everyone buys
into my mentality. That’s fine, I
suppose -- but there’s more to it than that.
People are willing to get
swept up into its pace, and take it for what it is instead of what it could
(and should) be. More to the point,
there are proclamations and discussions over who’s “best
girl”. It’s subjective, I know, but
it is very interesting -- especially when, in light of the recently-aired
season, the comment threads full of “X is my waifu” declarations are also the
threads full of “this show is awful” outcries.
It makes me wonder if there’s some secret aspect to the show that makes
it worthwhile. Hell, just looking at the
comments of that Reddit post tells me there’s some real juice to the
concept. For all its apparent bungles, Stratos is doing something right. So one day I figured that hey, maybe I should
give it a look and decide for myself if it’s got anything worth
Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooope.
You know what the sad
thing is, though? Honestly, Stratos gets off to a pretty good
start. Not perfect, by ANY means, but
the first few episodes are fairly entertaining.
Leading man Ichika is established almost from minute one as a guy who’s
not only out of his element, but constantly beaten down by his circumstances
and his surroundings; he may be the only guy in MechWarrior Academy, but he’s far from living in paradise. He’s got massive manuals to memorize, the
girls treat him more like a circus attraction or a goat in a petting zoo than a
person, and the only two people who could help him get accustomed to his new
life -- his older sister Chifuyu and his old friend Houki -- are both dead-set
on giving him the cold shoulder…that, or physical abuse. Generally speaking, at the outset being Ichika is suffering.
But here’s the thing:
Ichika may note how bad things have gotten, but at the outset he takes it like
a champ. He’s a nice guy, but he takes
no guff from anyone. Screw around with
him, and he’ll stand up against anyone who tries to write him off. He’s kind of a dumb guy (as you’d expect),
but that won’t stop him from firing off a good quip if he gets the chance. It’s in the early episodes when it’s
established that he’s the main character for a reason: because it’s his
show. He’s the mover-and-shaker, even if
his circumstances are less than ideal.
So. How about those girls? Namely, who is “best girl”? Well, here you go.
It’s Cecilia
Alcott. Cecilia wins. Cecilia is best girl.
The connotation of
“best girl” seems to imply that objectively, there’s no competition. The best girl is best, and there’s no reason
for debate. It’s a bit jokey so that
net-goers don’t have to come to blows, so in a way you can probably redefine
the term as “this is my favorite girl amongst the cast”, only in fewer
words. Fair enough. So I guess in my case, Cecilia is best for a
number of reasons -- and it has nothing to do with her character design, or the
fact that in the dub she has a British accent (which, as you’re well aware, is
the greatest of all accents). No, it’s
because -- again, at the outset -- Cecilia has the best chance of making the
story much more than just a stupid harem comedy.
She’s proud. She’s boisterous. She’s selfish. She friggin’ loves her country, to the point
where when she makes long speeches (which is surprisingly often), the British
flag starts flapping behind her. She’s
got the skills to back up her bravado, establishing herself as a world-class
sniper in her first fight, beating Ichika in their first fight even when he
unleashed his Protagonist Powers -- she considered it her loss, but given how
easily she overwhelmed him for 95% of the match I’d say she’s being generous --
and manages to save his dumb ass when trouble brews. She wasn’t just another spot on the Harem
Bingo card; she was an actual character with her own presence, desires, and
personality. She might have been a
walking joke, but she was a good walking joke -- and not a joke dependent on
her lust for Ichika’s spandex-shrouded body.
Wikis, websites, and
supplementary materials seem to suggest that in the world of Stratos, gender dynamics are shifted
drastically in the favor of women, as they’re the only one who can make use of
the IS system. In a way, that makes the
better part of the school’s treatment of Ichika more understandable, at least
in the context of their world. He’s not
a comrade, or a peer, or even a potential friend; he’s someone to be observed
at their leisure, and shoved aside and around when the ladies are done with
him. He has no control over his life,
because the women around him -- the ones “wearing the pants”, even though as
per The Laws of Anime no female character can wear pants, EVER -- are doing all
the controlling. I can only wonder how
men throughout the rest of the world are being treated. Are they meek homemakers? Are they subject to inequalities in the work
place? Are they resentful of their place
in the world? Has there been a
regression in society akin to the pre-rights movements of old? Or could it be that the men (and women alike)
pretend or don’t even perceive there’s nothing wrong, and just plaster smiles
on their face?
Given the scope of Stratos -- i.e. its focus on MechWarrior Academy -- it might be a
little too much to ask for a sweeping view of society in this brave new
world. But that’s precisely what Cecilia
could have been used for. Does she give
Ichika trouble for being an idiot, Japanese, a man, or a mix of the three? I’d say that on some level, she has her
biases; she has no choice, because society has engraved into her mind that it’s
all right for her to act and think the way she does. And that’s actually an element that’s supremely interesting -- more so than
harem hijinks or even the occasional robot battle. Cecilia could have stayed as the same general
person, as could Ichika, but their interactions could have shed a light on the
world around them as well as developed their characters. Hell, this whole franchise could have become Pride and Prejudice and Mechs if they
were willing to explore the relationship a bit more. And while it’s arguable that the harem
shenanigans and the competition to “claim” Ichika is an extension of the societal
conflict and inequalities, what IS offered can’t even begin to rival what COULD
BE offered.
As you’d expect, the
show begins its collapse as early as episode 3.
Cecilia’s introductory arc comes to an abrupt end -- itself preventing
Houki from having an arc of her own, and leaving the audience with a really bad first impression of her -- because,
surprise! It’s time for another girl,
China’s twintail-bearing Rin, to make her appearance! And after two episodes, her arc is
over…except “arc” is a charitable phrase, because it’s mostly just her getting
huffy over Ichika and some promise they made when they were kids. I hope you’ll forgive me for not being
thrilled; it’s not exactly reassuring to know that A) Rin’s arc is about as
riveting as a long grocery store line, B) this might be the first and only time
Rin will get time to develop as a character, and C) the show is getting further
and further away from the actual plot -- which literally has to explode onto a
scene to remind you that there’s something else going on besides fighting over
Ichika.
I’m not even
joking. Ichika is like a magnet that
pulls all of the character out of the characters; the general progression
regression happens almost every time without fail. Girl is introduced ==> Girl clashes with
Ichika ==> Ichika does something, usually one thing ==> Girl lays claim to Ichika, directly or indirectly
==> Girl is threatened by the introduction of a new girl and they shout/fawn
over him. I suppose it’s a setup that
works if you’re a squawking hen enthusiast, but in most cases it doesn’t
work. At all. Example: Houki takes a shot at Cecilia by
saying she has a “fat ass”.
Setting aside the fact
that Cecilia’s ass is nothing short of picturesque (seeing as how it took up
about a third of a shot in one episode) and presumably no different from
Houki’s ass, an insult like that is wildly
out of character for a person who’s not only shown disdain for Ichika alone,
but underneath her harsh exterior is supposed to be a proper and demure (if
overly serious and uptight) lady. Does
that sound like the sort of person who would bust out the talons over a boy,
let alone break out the insults? Even if
that was just an addition to the dub, it doesn’t change the fact that these
girls would be arguing in any language…because why, exactly?
Stratos makes some huge-ass assumptions about its audience. Why should I or anyone else believe that
Cecilia would get so hot and bothered about Ichika over a fight she dominated
in, to the point where she starts falling for him? Why should anyone find entertainment in
seeing dozens of lines of dialogue go toward arguing when those lines could
have been spent developing characters so that they’re more than just archetypes
or broad strokes?
And more importantly,
I’d like to think that there’s a special level of hell reserved for anyone who
abuses the “childhood friend” trope as much as Stratos. Houki and Rin start
out as almost the same character (looks aside), and the show assumes that
because their relationship has already been developed off-camera, there’s no
real reason to try and show any semblance of chemistry, camaraderie, or even
concern until it’s time for the girls to blush over Ichika’s condition-bred
trigger words. Seriously, is there anyone in the real world who uses the
phrase “childhood friend”, let alone spams it as much as this show? Then again, on the subject of triggers I’m
wholly convinced that according to The Laws of Anime, saying the word “cute” completely
overloads the fairer sex’s senses.
If it seems like I’m
being too harsh on the show, then let me pause right now and say that Stratos isn’t the worst thing I’ve ever
seen; merely the fact that there could have been something worth sinking my
teeth into puts it several dozen steps above certain other terrible things I
could name. When it’s time for mech
fights, it’s time for mech fights; they’re pretty cool, and while there are
some massive gaps in logic (Rin is hyped up as a close-range specialist, but
spends the majority of her episode shooting from afar), they do offer a reprieve
from some of the inanity. Unfortunately,
I have to un-pause because the show is hell-bent on going further into inanity,
as proven by episode 5. Even Stevie
Wonder wearing a burlap sack and locked inside of a safe could tell you that this character is not a boy -- but the
show tries to sell you on that regardless because…reasons?
No, Stratos.
NO.
It just breaks the show
wide open. Why would France try to
introduce a male candidate? How did they
successfully dupe everyone in the world to believing that their representative
was a boy? Wouldn’t any given test have
proven they were lying? Wouldn’t MechWarrior Academy have detected
something was amiss based on the mannerisms, posture, and voice alone? Why wouldn’t “Charles” and “his” existence
spark dozens of experiments and inquiries, and begin putting forth the idea
that the very structure of the world -- IS and beyond -- is about to
change?
By extension, why isn’t
Ichika under constant examination? Why
isn’t he in a lab? Why won’t the show
give me a good answer as to why Charles Charlotte had to masquerade as a
boy, given that her explanation suggests she could have come to the academy as
a girl and gotten everything she needed to -- information about Ichika,
recognition for her father’s company/country, more training -- by virtue of her
natural (and top-notch) skill set? Why
would the show create these circumstances if A) it’s not going to do anything
with them, and B) it’s just going to create plot holes thanks to negligence to be filled solely with a pair of apparently-retractable breasts?
Ichika loses most of
his charm and none of his stupid, Houki stays the same only with the occasional
mate-attracting ritual show of affection, Rin stays the same (i.e. is
pretty much mini-Houki) but actually gets more screechy, and each new girl
offers up more disappointment than the last.
Charles/Charlotte’s arc starts and stops in what’s almost a tangent of
her two episodes, capped off with her getting fed by Ichika (don’t ask). Germany’s representative Laura might
establish herself as an ass-stomping borderline villain -- wearing pants! -- in
the beginning, but that doesn’t matter because you’re just counting the seconds
before she turns into a blushing hanger-on.
I’d say that Cecilia walks away with the least damage done, because at
least in her case you could maybe argue
she’s acting out of a sense of pride and jingoism, but given that the anime
goes to further and further lengths to make her a joke I’d say that’s an
unintended interpretation. Then again,
being a joke in Stratos is the best
level of hell you could ever hope for.
I wish I could say more
about the plot, but alas. Speaking as
someone not too keen on the Stratos canon,
based on what I’ve seen there are at least two avenues worth pursuing: it could
be a story about an antagonistic force -- terrorists, or something like it --
looking to steal and harness new technology to turn there is units into the
ultimate tools of war. An arms race, of
sorts, breaking free of the constraints imposed by the IS developers
(spearheaded by Houki’s older sister).
The other possibility -- besides the one I suggested about making it a
sports series -- is to make it about the global relations between the
countries, and how those change as a result of the IS technology. Have the girls engage in more than just being
stereotypes, or just mere students; have them be movers-and-shakers in the
world for the sake of their countries.
Give them some semblance of political weight, not just a fancy
title. Barring that, just turn the whole
thing into G Gundam with 2000% more
breasts.
Instead, the major
thrust of the plot is a tournament. A
tournament that’s supposed to be about…something…but
instead becomes a contest to see who gets to date Ichika.
That’s the plot,
then? Who gets to go on a date with
Ichika? No. That is not a plot. That is not a compelling conflict. There are no stakes. There’s no tension. It devalues the mech battles, because these
characters aren’t really in danger, and they’re moving toward a goal that’s
more alien than Dr. Zoidberg. There’s
nothing to be gained from it as a viewer, because A) these girls have by and
large already done plenty of things that constitute going on a date, and B) the
further the show goes, the less of a character they have, which kind of
invalidates any sense of chemistry or presence any of these people have with
one another. And on top of all that,
they’re willingly throwing out a perfectly good plot -- an invading enemy mech,
which is unmanned and therefore proves that there are some tech-savvy
malcontents out there -- for the sake of showing Ichika grabbing Charlotte’s
ass in the most contrived way possible. And
then there’s a beach episode, where pretty much everything comes to a halt.
This show is not making
it easy on me. But that’s fine. It’s fine.
It’s totally fine. I mean, I’ve
been through worse. And if I can live
through that, then I can live through this.
So, how many episodes have I gotten through?
Eight and a quarter? Okay, and how many are there? Oh, two seasons’ worth. Huh.
Bardock, you wanna take
this one?
I’m out. I’M OUT.
And I wouldn’t recommend Stratos to
anyone under normal circumstances unless they’re schoolgirl enthusiasts. The only capacity, the only reason to watch
this show is as a test of will and endurance.
I had to struggle to watch the episodes that I did, and having heard
that season 2 is an absolute disaster, I have no interest to go any
further. None at all. They had something good, but they squandered
it with glee. And there are few things
that are worse in this world than a story that squanders its potential.
Sorry, Cecilia. You may be best girl, but that doesn’t mean
much in an anime that belongs in the trash bin.
Cripes a la mode. You know, it really says a lot about an anime
when I have to use Kamen Rider as a
chaser between episodes. And none of
those things are good. But at least it’s
over; all things considered, I’m starting to wonder if making anything
involving a harem is a dead-end. Stratos seems to have gone out of its
way to prove that the harem is a self-defeating model, so by that logic anyone
who tries to do otherwise is a complete
Oh. Right.
*hikes up britches*
Looks like you and me aren’t done just yet, Stratos…
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