Breakdown, breakdown! Let's analyze JoJo's Bizarre Adventure and do it shining justice!

February 26, 2015

Re: RE: Dragon Age: Inquisition

If it was any other game, I would have given up.  But I have faith in BioWare.  EA, not so much, but the fact that DA:I has even a tangential relationship to the Mass Effect games -- i.e. it may not have the same team, but it comes from the same figurative country -- means that I can’t write it off just because of seven or eight bad experiences.  I won’t.

So I went back in.  And sure enough, The Sidequest Trap tried to ensnare me yet again; how a set of sandy canyons manages to pack in more random NPCs needing a gofer is beyond me.  And contextually, they’re not on stable ground; imagine if you were there with the intent of scouting the area and ousting the demons, only to have someone try and strong-arm you into finding their ring.  I may be playing as the more-or-less savior of the world, but I’m not a miracle worker.  Also, I don’t care.  And when a game -- no matter the genre, but especially for something like DA:I -- makes you stop caring about the world, it’s a surefire sign that something has gone wrong.

But as it turns out, I did find something to care about.  That same something has gotten me thinking about more than just DA:I; it’s made me wonder if too many games in general are on the wrong track.

February 23, 2015

An I Hraet You Quasi/Anti-Update

If you’ve got a functioning pair of eyeballs, then you’ve probably noticed that things look a little different around here.  Not different enough to make you go “Yikesy mikesy!” I’d bet, but enough to at least earn a partially-raised eyebrow.  I wouldn’t call the new look a complete overhaul of the blog, because it isn’t; I just tweaked things here and there in terms of aesthetics.  Not the layout.  And even then, I’m not 100% sure I’ll stick with everything here; the color scheme looks as sickly as I did not too long ago when I learned first-hand why you should never gamble with year-old honey mustard dressing.

Consider it a lesson I’ll take to heart.

Anyway, the biggest and most important change -- one that I should have made a long time ago -- is that the post background is white, while the post text is black.  The colors are inverted.  It doesn’t look as cool as the last setup, but from what I’ve heard, it’s certainly more readable.  And that’s what I need to go for right now more than anything; the reason for that is because hopefully, I’ll have people do even more reading on this blog soon enough.  And it’d probably help my case if I wasn’t doing my best to make people go blind.  Just a hunch, though.

February 19, 2015

RE: Dragon Age: Inquisition

It’s times like this where I have to wonder: is there something wrong with me?  (You know, besides the obvious?)

I mean, seriously.  Right now it feels like I’m sitting in a confessional -- which is something I feel like I have to do every time the “latest and greatest” is out on those newfangled vidya gaem boxes.  Like -- okay, I didn’t like Destiny.  That’s understandable, right?  And I didn’t like The Last of Us -- not exactly a popular opinion, but I can actually explain why if given the chance (fully functional flamethrower, anyone?). 

But then I get to Dragon Age: Inquisition, a game that’s not only an RPG -- in my wheelhouse more than those shootgaemz -- but also a game that’s delighted plenty of gamers.  Earned solid review scores.  Made several GOTY lists, even if the bar was set within the bowels of the earth for 2014.  I should be able to dive in.

But I can’t.  I’m about a session away from swearing it off for good.  And I guess now I have to explain why.

February 16, 2015

RE: Re: RE: Beyond: Two Souls

Alternate post title: How to Ruin Valentine’s Day

Alternate (alternate) post title: The Actual Title of This Post Has Too Many Colons

February 5, 2015

What’s The Deal With Chosen Ones?

Well, I was planning on tossing up a different post, but this one’s going to have to take precedence.  Blame Hollywood.

Now then.  If you’ve followed this blog for long enough, you may know that I have…expressed my distaste for Final Fantasy 13-2 (i.e. I consider it the worst game I’ve ever played).  That distaste stands strong today, but there’s been a nasty side effect: since then, I’ve been iffy about any story that features time travel.  More specifically, if a story features some space-time shenanigans, then I’m hoping that it’s used to great effect.  Based on what I’ve seen semi-recently, my hopes have been dashed.  It’s to the point where I waited for good news on Project Almanac -- though apparently, I was a fool for putting stock in a Platinum Dunes production.

Still, there was one other movie I was interested in, and as such checked Rotten Tomatoes much more frequently than I usually do.  Said movie?  Jupiter Ascending.  Because as you know, SPACE IS AWESOME…but even the awesomeness of space is hard to swallow based on the info surrounding the movie.  I remember looking up info and plot details, and upon reading up on how Mila Kunis plays some prophesized queen of the galaxy or whatever, my heart sank so fast that it’s shacking up with mole-men.  Even then, I figured that the movie would be good enough.  It’s not the first story to feature a chosen one, and it won’t be the last.  As long as the execution is high enough, then --

It pretty much started at 35% on Rotten Tomatoes.  Oooooooooooof.

February 2, 2015

Dinosaur Island: A Christmas Anti-Miracle

Dinosaur Island is a terrible movie and no one should watch it -- but I ended up watching it anyway, so let’s talk about it because I’m dumb and probably want to hurt myself.

That has to be one of my best post openings yet.