Spirit Showdown #6: The Convict

Hey, have you ever heard of that anime Kikaider?

Well, I suppose technically it should be that franchise Kikaider; as I understand it, there was a live-action version that predated the anime by a few decades.  But I know the anime -- few episodes that there were -- best, thanks to its Adult Swim run.  I liked the show; in fact, I liked it so much that I thought, “Hey, what if I made a story like that?”  And it didn’t take long for a story to start taking

[SYSTEM ERROR]

form.  And by “form” I mean pretty much a carbon copy.  Only instead of a grim and introspective yet gentle fighting machine, it featured a grim and introspective yet gentle fighting fox-boy.  And instead of fighting furious robots, my guy would fight furious mutated animals.  And of course, it wouldn’t have been a story without that much-adored “I have amnesia that obscures incredibly vital details” angle.  And he would be such a deeply-disturbed and fragile little flower; hell, the

[SYSTEM ERROR]

plan was to actually call the story “Altered Soul.”  Consider yourselves fortunate that it was just a phase, and that the story never got too far past the concept and initial planning; call it an evolutionary dead-end.  That story has long since been buried, and the characters therein have either been erased or transformed into entirely new entities with entirely new personalities.  Is it better now?  I think so, most definitely.  Is it good now?  Theoretically, I think it stands a chance.  Do I like it more this way?  Well, I have to say

[WARNING: FATAL SYSTEM ERROR.  FATAL SYSTEM ERROR.  ENTROPY LEVELS CRITICAL.  BOUNDARY STABILITY AT HIGH RISK.] 

Uh…do what now?

[DISTORTION IMMINENT.  DISTORTION IMMINENT.  REALITY FACING MELTDOWN.]

Okay, now THAT I understood.  So what do I do about it?

[REALITY MELTDOWN INCOMING.  ESTIMATED TIME UNTIL UNIVERSAL COLLAPSE: ELEVEN SECONDS.]

Oh, you’ve gotta be…!  I haven’t even started on my bucket list!

[ESTIMATED TIME UNTIL UNIVERSAL COLLAPSE…well, who’s to say, really?  It could happen today, tomorrow, or even yesterday.  Don’t you just love how unpredictable the fabric of reality can be?

Oh nuts.  It’s that time again, isn’t it?

Bored with Power

You know, I’ve been thinking.  (Cue the frenzied screams of a thousand innocent orphans.)

I like video games.  I like a lot of video games -- and say what you will about the industry today, but there are still LOTS of gems out there, so it’s safe to assume that I’m going to keep gaming for a while longer.  But even with that in mind, I find a lot of games today frustrating.  Aggravating.  Inspiring sadness and exhaustion, rather than solace and elation.  I don’t like feeling this way about one of my favorite pastimes, but it’s becoming increasingly common.  And I think I’m starting to figure out why I have problems with so many games.

I’m tired of feeling powerful.  Dead tired.

Back on the Grid...and other stuff.

*holds envelope to forehead*

Rage-inducing cabinets, a last-resort tranquilizer, a dog paw on a stick, the stupidest plumbing system ever created, inherent social awkwardness, a milk-chugging contest, an overzealous plate-server, the boots of life,  a baby monitor that regularly instills fury, thousands of digitized words, and theories related to the effects of entropy on time.

*opens envelope*

Things I saw at or near my grandma's house Turkey, and my failed conquest therein. 

BRB Getting Turkey

Visual puns!  

(I'll be back in a week.  Or less.  Let's just see how my conquest goes.)

I Hraet You -- A Reconsideration

You know, I’ve been thinking.  (Cue the ear-splitting wails of a million virtuous maidens.)

Warning: real talk imminent.

I Hraet You (55)

Beat 55: See You Space Heart Boy

“Ha HA!  And now for that foot…rub…?”

Lloyd sat straight up, eager to make good on his promise -- and he likely would have, if not for the blanket of night shrouding the room.  What sorcery is this?  Where has everyone gone?  Where has the sun gone?  He started counting off on his fingers.  Let’s see…I remember welcoming Lady Overdose into the group…and then I went to wash my hands…and then I remember everything going dar- oh, that explains it.

He slid off the couch and stood up, with the distant street lamps providing just enough light to move through the den.  Did I really sleep for this long? he wondered.  He scratched a few of his bangs.  My goodness.  I must have been more tired than I thought -- if the rest of my life is going to be as hectic as today was, I may need to consider joining a gym. 

Spirit Showdown #5: The Hunter

“I've got a story idea for you.”

I turned toward my brother, barely able to hide the disdain on my face.  “Another one?  What happened to your last idea?  You know, the one that was pretty much Cowboy Bebop?”

“Forget that one.  I’ve got a new idea.”  He folded his arms and smirked, nodding to himself at the thought of his idea’s inherent brilliance (as he often did).  “Okay.  So there are these guys…with cybernetic implants…and they’re all bounty hunters…and…”

I tilted my head.  “You sure love pushing that cybernetic implant angle, don’t you?”  I turned back to the computer screen.  “And I’m pretty sure you’ve already pitched this idea before.  Something about cyber ninjas, or assassins, or whatever.”

“It’s a good idea!  You should write that -- forget about all your other stories and write that one!”

I shook my head.  “I’ll tell you what.  If you can give me a better pitch -- one that’s fully thought out, doesn’t just copy Cowboy Bebop or Outlaw Star or any other anime, and DOESN’T have cyber-ninjas -- then I’ll think about it.  But you’ve gotta put in a little work. Give me something to work with.”

“Oh yeah, I’ll give you something good!”  And to this day, I await that “something good.”

To say that my brother and I have divergent tastes is like saying maple syrup is different from wet cement.  We tend to have clashing worldviews, as expected of two brothers; he’s the cynic to my optimist, the pride to my self-deprecation, the Ken to my Ryu (quite literally, across a number of fighting games).  But the one point that we’ve never seen eye-to-eye on is the concept of ninjas.  He’s always been a fan of them, proclaiming that they’re the ultimate badass warriors; I’ve always put more stock in the samurai, and I’ve gone on record explaining why I have such a strong distaste for ninjas in fiction.  And of course, he’s tried dipping his hands into my stories -- trying to make them nastier, more mature tales full of sword-swinging spectacle, without understanding what made the stories he likes (or stories in general) work.  I assume he’s gotten wiser in the years since his pitches…but then I remember that he bought Resident Evil 6 at full price, and I’m filled with near-lethal amounts of shame and apprehension.

But you know what, bro?  You finally got your wish.  You wanted cyber-ninjas?  Then for once, I’ll indulge you. 

I Hraet You (54)

Beat 54: Good Communication Begets Good Relationships (In Theory)

The light bulb swayed left and right above the table.  If not for the afternoon sun and the half-exposed windows, it would have been the only thing keeping the kitchen alight.  Trixie sat at the edge of her seat, legs shoved together and clutching Mrs. Overdose’s shotgun; just the sight of it made her uneasy, and the fact that she held such a deadly instrument (and in the presence of the trouble-magnetic Hoigleheimers) made her want to bury her head in the sand.   So she ran her eyes over the magnets on the fridge.  She counted their number over and over, hoping that strange circumstances wouldn’t lead to a misfire.

All three Hoigleheimers sat at the table, with Mrs. Overdose leaning callously against the far wall -- and she’d have to get past Patton if she wanted to escape just the kitchen, much less the entire house.  JP leaned back in his chair, hands tucked behind his head and eyes closed as if trying to doze off.  Patton rested his meaty elbows on the table, resting his chin behind his hands and groaning ever louder.  Lloyd sat in place with his arms folded, and one leg crossed over the other.  Trixie could only see him from behind, but she caught glimpses of his hand tightening round his arm. 

She glanced aside for a moment.  Why does this scene feel so familiar?

Housekeeping Get!

You got the Reference!  This string of game-associated words can put a smile on your face whenever you see it.  You can set it to X, Y, or Z from the Start Menu.

Anyway, a couple of minor things I want to bring up.  First of all, if you’ll look at the rightmost tab of menu bar, you’ll notice that there’s a new feature: the “Let’s discuss” section.  I’ve been thinking about doing this for a while now, and in light of my eight thousand word treatise post on Halo 4 and the upcoming post on Majora’s Mask (which I’m sure will have no repercussions  on the safety of mankind) I figured I might as well start filing all the LD posts under that tab.  This way, you’ll quick access to all of the other discussion posts I’ve done, as well as get a look at what I’ve got planned next time.  In this case, it’s Majora’s Mask, and I hope to have Xenoblade Chronicles come soon after.  Pretty handy, yeah?

Moving, on, I have another announcement to make: after this Thursday, I Hraet You is going on hiatus.  I said before that I’m putting it aside, and once the 55^th chapter goes up that’ll be the end of it for now.  But don’t worry; it’ll be back one day.  In fact, you can think of Thursday’s chapter as the “one hour season finale” -- it’s a big one, and while I won’t declare that there’s some over-the-top action (there was already a wacky chase scene), it does bring the arc to its conclusion and set up for even more insanity.  I don’t want to commit to an exact date for its return, but I can tell you right now that you won’t be seeing Lloyd and company for the rest of the year.  Maybe some time in March or April I’ll pick up the story again -- but I don’t want to make any promises I can’t keep.  I’ve got some other stuff I want to work on in the meantime, up to and including spreading awareness that IHY even exists.

Whatever the case, you can take solace in knowing that there are going to be 55 chapters -- a good 100k words’ worth of content divided into fun-sized portions -- for you to read whenever you’re ready, and can read for free.  I’ll sprinkle some extra content into the blog when I can (I have something planned for later this week), but know that when you’re in the mood for some laughs, some ham, and some hearty-McHeart-heart action, Lloyd will be waiting for you.  Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut with that in mind, I want to hear from the lot of you about what would be best for you -- basically, what you want to see that would make IHY a better experience.  Administrative things, user-friendly things, new-reader-friendly things, even things related to the story -- whatever comes to mind, I want to hear it.  I want a lot of people to feel the love, and it’ll be a whole lot easier with a little help from you guys.  So if there’s something you’re itching to say, say it in a comment.  I’ll see what I can do.

And that’ll do it for now.  See you guys around.

(See?  I can make short posts every now and then.)

Let's discuss Halo 4.

This is gonna suck.

I Hraet You (53)

Beat 53: Well, That Proved Effective

Lloyd led the way through the school’s halls, wearing something faintly resembling a smile.  He’d managed to garner a win -- albeit a slight one -- out of what could have been a much messier situation.  He’d taken a stand against Gaston, saved his brother, won over his nemesis’ henchwoman, and managed to do it all without a single shotgun blast to the face.  He’d earned the right to strut a bit (and indeed, his lively steps reflected that).  He had every reason to show a bit of cheer.

A shame that he had two professional killjoys in his party.

“So let me see if I got this right,” said Mrs. Overdose, lugging JP around on one shoulder like a rolled-up rug (and stepping over a splotch of spiders).  “You say you’re gonna be my servant, but I’m the one who ends up carryin’ your kid brother around?”

Lloyd turned back toward her and nodded.  “Truth be told, you are considerably stronger than I.  It’s only natural that I leave him in your capable hands; I’d assume that even his slight weight would be enough to rip my arms from their sockets.”

Spirit Showdown #4: The Hoodlum

And here we are at the fourth installment.

I find it kind of funny that this next guy would pop up in an instance like this.  I’ve mentioned before that four is my “lucky” number (though “coincidental” would probably be the better description).  It’s certainly my favorite number, in spite of -- or maybe because of -- the death-infused connotations that come alongside it.  Whatever the case, it’s a cool number, and certainly meets my qualifications of being able to tell odd numbers to piss off.

What I find interesting is that on this, the fourth post, there’s going to be a marked change in a number of ways.  The last three heroes focused on the “Power Trio” -- characters that belong to (theoretically) simple stories, and make their way through them with strong offenses.  The next three belong to the “Speed Trio” -- their abilities are centered on skill and maneuverability.  More importantly, their stories aren’t quite as squeaky-clean as the last three; we’re starting to slide into some “shades of gray” territory here.  And who better to kick off the transition than this guy -- someone who’s done such a massive flip-flop in character that he might as well be a different character?  With character?

You might want to have your inhaler ready, people.  It’s about to get friggin’ weird.

I Hraet You (52)

Beat 52: So This Here’s the Falling Action, Right?

Mrs. Overdose jerked her hand back, as if she’d just been stung by a wasp.  “What in the hell was that?!” she yelled, eyes wide; if not for the shotgun in her opposite hand, she would have taken to nursing her palm.  “You some kind of wizard or somethin’?”

Lloyd stroked his chin and nodded, with a huge smile plastered across his face.  “Well, I suppose that’s as fitting a title as any.  For you see, by many accounts you could call me the wizard of lo-”

Mrs. Overdose readied her shotgun.  “Let’s see if you wizards know how to deal with bullets.”

Cloud Atlas: Reach Out to the True-True

Oh jeez.  Where do I even begin?

I guess I can start by saying two things.  One: this might actually be a short post, because I know almost exactly what I want to say; you won’t be seeing a week’s worth of content like you did with The Dark Knight Rises.  Two: I don’t really want to make this post -- like, I want to, but I don’t want to.  I feel like there’s not much I need to say, and only so much of merit.  And unlike other posts where I’d pretty much spell out the whole movie, I don’t think that’s necessary or appropriate this time around, as you’ll see by post’s end.  Whenever that may be.

So let me start (again) by saying this: I went into this movie not knowing what to expect.  I mean, yeah, I saw the trailer for it for the first time when I saw Looper.  I didn’t think much of it, except a call back to a joke made on The Editing Room: “I couldn’t decide which movie to make, so I just made ALL OF THEM!”  I didn’t think much of it at the time, but it’s not like I automatically hated it.  I just had the same neutrality I often do with movies, and more so for trailers (remember when the Prometheus trailer made the movie look sick as shit?  And then the movie happened?).  But apparently, the trailer -- and the presence of Tom Hanks -- was enough to win my brother over, and he had designs to go see it with me as soon as possible…or as soon as Assassin’s Creed 3 came out. 

So I went with him, and sat down in the theater with him.  And after about seventeen minutes of preview trailers, I watched the movie.  I sat there and watched that movie for nearly three whole hours.

Three whole hours.  Huh.  I feel like that reminds me of something.  Something…magical.  Something worthwhile.  Something that I owe myself to experience again and again and aga--

Did I say worthwhile?  Sorry, I meant a complete mess.  I’m sure that has nothing to do with my opinion of this movie, though.

(All right, people, you know the drill.  Spoilers of every persuasion are going to follow, so if you’re not in a mood to get tailed by them and stabbed in the face, you’re better off hiding in a stack of hay and hoping the Redcoats don’t find you, or else you’ll desynchronize and have to start the mission over.

No, I haven’t played Assassin’s Creed 3 lately.  Why do you ask?)

I Hraet You (51)

Beat 51: A Steel Heart and Smelting Tears

For a moment, Lloyd could help but shake; chill after chill ran through his body, and for a moment he thought he might buckle over again.  But he didn’t; he held his ground, and in spite of his cooled body he felt a surge of heat from his toes all the way to his crown.  I’ve almost done it, he thought, his smile tingling as it embraced that surge.  I just need to press onward.  I’ve got all I need; it’s just a matter of reaching out and touching her heart!

Unfortunately, Mrs. Overdose looked anything but receptive.  With a face like hers, she could scare off a horde of mountain lions -- clenched teeth with lips curled into a snarl, hair bristling and sharpening, and even her eyes seemed to shrink a few sizes.  She held her position on the stage, but with her forward lean she looked as if she might pounce onto Lloyd’s desk.  Even her mole-faced mask looked incensed, in spite of its hidden eyes.

“You seem to have grown a bit agitated, Mrs. Overdose,” said Lloyd as he pressed a hand to his chin.  “Could it be that your lack of a husband could affect you that deeply?”