“I wonder if ‘being
held at gunpoint’ is going to be the trend of the day.” Nevertheless,
Lloyd held up his hands and offered a disarming smile. “Pondering aside, let me be the first to say
there’s no need for violence, Arjuna.
We’re both more than capable of talking this out. Lay down your arms, and I’ll gladly prove I’m
no reason to brandish a crossbow.” He
took a step forward, and --
Ka-SWISH-GRESSIVE
NEGOTIATIONS!
An arrow whizzed by
Lloyd’s ear before he could even bring down his foot. “…Okay, I can see you’re more than a bit
serious about puncturing my brain,” he said, leaping back two feet, “but I’d
really prefer if you didn’t. I like my
skull the way it is, you see.” He pulled
his foot away, and took another step back just to be safe. “See?
I’m no danger to you.”
“D-don’t screw with me,
Lloyd! I know you!” Arjuna started to take aim, though Lloyd
wondered if he’d manage another warning shot with such a shaky grip. “I know you’re trouble -- especially
now! Especially since you’re here! Especially if you’re near me!”
Lloyd could only (try
to) smile, hoping that it’d help disarm Arjuna.
It didn’t, of course. If
anything, he looked more and more eager to pull the trigger, his eyes bulging
and knees knocking. A part of him
doubted that his crossbow -- a small mishmash of plastic, duct tape,
poorly-sawed wood, and even bits of cardboard -- could fire a lethal bolt. Then again, considering that Arjuna’s first
shot still hung from the wall, Lloyd didn’t have much reason to doubt his
handiwork at the moment.
“I’ve no desire to
mount or strangle you. I just want to
talk, and ask for your aid.”
“Screw you! I KNOW what happens next! I agree to help you, and the next thing I
know I’m strung up by my toes and getting smacked around like a sandbag! Well I can tell you right now that that’s NOT
happening!” He backed himself into a
corner and pulled a camper’s knapsack closer to him. “I-I’ll have you know that I’m armed to the
teeth! You don’t want to see what I’ve
got in store for anyone who tries to mess with me!”
Lloyd raised his
eyebrows. “Oh! Actually, I do! I’ve always admired your craftsmanship --
what wonders have you brought with you today?”
“Wonders of your doom,
Lloyd! Wonders of your doom!”
“Is it awesome doom, at least?”
Arjuna tried to bare
his fangs, but he looked more like a happy Chihuahua. “Y-you just take one more step and find out!”
he shouted. He ducked down and started
digging through his bag. “Or better yet,
just stand right there! I’ve got just
the tool of survival for you! I think. I hope.
I wish. Oh man, please let me
have my pocket chainsaw on hand. That’ll
show him! That’ll beat him! That’ll save me!”
“Just go ahead and take
your time, I guess,” said Lloyd. “I’m
nothing if not patient.” He looked to
the rest of the student council. “Was he
always this…er, excitable? Or is it just
the threat of splattered brains that’s colored my perception?”
One of the guys in the
front slammed his head on the desk.
“Yeah, he’s always like
this. We’ve been here since before the
sun came up, and he’s just now getting to the actual meeting.” He glared at Lloyd. “And then you had to go and scare him
again. Thanks for that. Not like we had to spend two hours telling
him we’d cleaned out all the spiders in the room.”
Lloyd couldn’t help but
notice a pair of the creepy crawlies on the ceiling, but decided to keep that
to himself for the moment. He pretty
much had to; he’d just taken notice of the girl standing in the back of the
room, staring and pointing at the spiders and snorting to herself. Naturally, Lloyd found her much more
interesting than any spiders -- she was tall enough to look him right in the
eye, and might have even had a centimeter or two on him. He took quick note of her above-average bust,
and the rest of her form followed suit -- nowhere near thick, of course, but
between those hefty hips and rounded thighs, he figured she wasn’t wanting for
a meal.
But Lloyd could (with
some difficulty) set her measurements aside for the moment; she looked as if
she’d fought a hobo, a nine-year-old, and an eighties starlet for her ensemble. A too-small tanktop clung to her form, with
one strap hanging off her shoulder, and leaving her midriff fully exposed. On top of that she had a half-shredded
T-shirt, bearing some abstract depiction of a kids playing jump rope in gaudy
shades of red and pink. A pair of
too-small track shorts clung to her hips, with more than a few tears to show
for it; in stark contrast she’d taken on a pair of ruffled, mismatched socks,
and the remains of a few pink leg warmers clung to her ankles (a distraction
from her decaying tennis shoes, no doubt).
Lloyd couldn’t help but
tilt his head a bit as he stared at her.
And to his surprise, she looked back at him. Her skin tone reminded him of Lien-Hua, but
managed to make his teacher look like she’d just gotten a tan. Long, sienna-hued locks ran down past her
shoulder blades, but more than a few of them shot out in other directions. And those eyes -- Lloyd couldn’t even see a
hint of a shine in them, eyes so black that they might have absorbed light
instead of reflected them. But somehow,
he knew that she didn’t mind them; the curvature of them worked with and even
enhanced her smile.
Lloyd smiled back at
her, and her smile stretched and shone a bit more. But only for a moment; she froze, and gasped,
eyes wide and finger thrust at Lloyd.
Without another sound she ran through the room and shoved past him, and
darted into the hall at top speed.
Well, that was odd. Lloyd
scratched at his temple. And I’m pretty sure that was the most
plot-relevant character yet. I’d assume
that letting her run wild was…probably not the best idea. Maybe I should give chase and --
Ka-THUNDER-BUST-A-ZAP!
“Hngahdgahdgahdgah!” The voltage sent Lloyd tumbling without a
fight; he crashed against the floor, convulsing and throwing his limbs like a
dying spider. The cause? Arjuna, wearing rubber gloves and holding
what could arguably be called an electric toothbrush...one fused with a Tesla
coil, at least.
“That’s what you get
for underestimating me, you no-good troublemaker!” he shouted, though he still
looked ready to burst into tears. “Now
just get out of here and -- and go do whatever it is troublemakers like to do
with their free time. Except hurt
me! That’d be a not-good thing to do!” He turned to his left and raised his arms to
rally the rest of the council. “Y-you
all saw it! He was an animal, a
madman! He came towards me first; I only
acted in self-defense. You’re all my
witnesses, right?”
A few groans came from
the council.
“Good enough.” Arjuna pressed his thumb into the switch on
the toothbrush, and voltage started to crackle around its minty-fresh
bristles. “All right, Lloyd! This is your last chance -- better get outta
here now, or else I’ll be forced to give you a real taste of --”
Lloyd sat up and
started smoothing his hair back into order.
“Huh. I had no idea you could
build so much voltage from such a tiny item.
Truly, your skills precede your reputation.”
Arjuna leapt back. “The hell?!
How are you even conscious?”
“Hmmm. Hard to say exactly. I’d assume it was because you held back too
much with your offense; on the other hand, I’ve met the business end of a Taser
more than a few times in the past.” He
dusted off his chest. “I suppose I have
a fair bit of tolerance to electric offenses.”
He climbed to his feet, forcing Arjuna to start reeling and
stumbling. “Now then. Regarding our business together -- I was
hoping that you could lend me a hand with something.”
“Not a chance! No chance!
Zero chance! I don’t want
anything to do with you, ever -- and if that means turning you into a fried
catfish, then…then I’m gonna do it!” He
cranked up the voltage on his toothbrush, turning what was once a lollipop of
lightning into a verifiable club. Of
course, said toothbrush couldn’t handle the power for long, and with a pained
whirr it started to smoke and shake. In
a moment’s time, it turned into little more than the tackiest toothbrush ever
approved by four out of five mad scientists.
“Now can we talk?”
Arjuna didn’t bother
with a response; he just headed for the knapsack and started digging once
more. “I-I’m authorized to use lethal
force!” he wailed. “Don’t make me bring
out that crossbow again -- even though my aim is terrible, and probably even
worse now that I’m all flustered and nervous.
Oh God, why did I come to school today?
I should have just taken off…oh, but then my perfect record would have
been --”
“Arjuna.” Lloyd held out a hand; even though the
president had no intention of shaking it (or even looking at it), it at least
got him to calm down a millionth of a degree.
“I’ll make my business clear here and now. I’ve no intention of harming you, or anyone
in this school; if anything, I hope to repair the damage caused to it by
yesterday’s frivolities.”
Arjuna sniffled a
little, and peeked over his shoulder.
“If what I’ve heard is
true, you have a wealth of the school’s information recorded, filed, and even
memorized. If that’s the case, then I’m
hoping you’ll lend me a bit of the information I need.”
“…What kind of
information?”
“I need to find out
where two students and one teacher live.
My intent is to make a visit, aid them as best I can, and have them
reinstated as members of the L. Bernstein family soon enough. That’s all.”
He glanced aside. “Well,
technically my intent is to take steps forward in creating my own everlasting,
borderless harem, but semantics aside all I need from you are a few
addresses.”
“That’s it?”
“That’s it.” He laughed nervously. “For now; between the two of us, you ARE
quite a bit smarter. And knowledgeable. And reasonable.”
A biting laugh came
from somewhere in the room, but Arjuna ignored it. He just climbed to his feet -- slumped and
fidgeting, but at the very least capable of looking at Lloyd without
hyperventilating. “Wh-whose addresses do
you need?”
“If you could give me
the addresses of Sheila O’Leary, along with --”
Arjuna’s eyes looked a
second away from popping. “Sheila
O’Leary? You’re serious?”
“Why wouldn’t I
be? If not for my bumbling, she might be
having a ball here on school grounds as we speak.” Lloyd raised an eyebrow. “Is there something wrong?”
The president shook his
head, and chomped down on his thumb in a bid to stop his teeth from
chattering. It didn’t help. “Sheila O’Leary…Lloyd, if you’re planning on
seeing her, then you’ve gotta be careful.
That girl’s more dangerous than you’ll ever be.”
“That much is obvious,
isn’t it?”
“I’m not just talking
about those -- h-her. What I mean is…”
His eyes darted across the room, and he looked like he’d just stumbled into the
bad part of town. “How do I say
this? Sheila is…she’s…”
Ka-DRAMATIC
INTERRUPTION!
One of the windows
shattered, then a second, then a third; heavy boots kicked each pane of glass
inward, and as they swung into the room they turned the fallen shards into
dust. Six boots -- two for each entrant
into the council room. Each entrant,
decked out in army fatigues and camo, black trench coats and plated
gloves. Each entrant, drawing themselves
to their full height almost in tandem -- and each one of them covered their
faces with serpentine masks.
“Lloyd B.
Hoigleheimer,” the snake-faced one in the center announced. “Found you at last.”
Arjuna snapped his head
toward Lloyd, who buckled at the sound of his name. “Oh. I
guess I am trouble after all.” He smiled nervously. “Fancy that.”
TO BE HEARTINUED…
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