Does whatever a spider can! Let's discuss Spider-Man: Homecoming!


October 15, 2012

I Hraet You (46)

Beat 46: Something About a Gap...

“Lloyd, you must be out of your damn mind!” JP yelled, squirming in his ropes (and to his horror, bumping his head against the shotgun barrel).  “Does this look like someone you want hanging around you?”

Lloyd nodded, and held out a hand to Mrs. Overdose.  “She is a woman, after all.  And surely my sacred hall of love is more than enough of a reason to --”

Mrs. Overdose shoved JP aside and aimed her gun at Lloyd’s face.  “I don’t suppose I get paid extra for turning this guy’s head into tomato soup, huh?”

Gaston chuckled and clapped, and crossed his legs.  “Ah, always quick on the uptake, Mrs. Overdose.  Always ready to fire the first shot…it’s such a delightful trait, madam.  But, stay your hand -- I’m not quite ready for our dear jester to bow out.  Not yet, at least.”  He rested his chin atop one hand, and leaned forward; the holes in his mask nearly filled the air with smothering glee.  “I want to see it with my own eyes.  I want to see our dear monsieur struggle futilely, right up to the final curtain.”

“You haven’t bested me yet, Gaston!” Lloyd shouted.  “So long as I have time, I can keep fighting!”

“Oh?  You’re going to fight me?  Truly a poor choice of words, my friend.”  He turned to Mrs. Overdose, gun at the ready, but relenting as asked.  “What exactly IS your strategy?  You wish to befriend my partner, and have her join your cause?  A fair move in the long run, but need I remind you that you have less than fifteen minutes to do so?  Do you earnestly believe that you can?”

Lloyd started for the stage.  “Fortune favors the bold.”

“All right, then.  Suppose you manage to use your power to gain some semblance of an advantage.  And then what?  Would you have her turn her arms on me, and render me little more than a crimson stain?  Would you command her to do a deed that you could never -- WOULD never do?  Would you touch her heart if only for a chance to strike back at me, the one who has so wronged you, your family, and your friends?”  He shot a finger at Lloyd’s heart, head cocked and shoulders a-rocking.  “Ku fu fu…I wonder who among us is the true villain.  The one who admits his aims so readily?  Or the one who masquerades as an agent of justice?  Of love?”

Lloyd pressed a foot against the top of the stage’s first stair, but came to a halt.  “You give me too little credit, Gaston,” he said as he pushed up his glasses.  “You assume that my sole aim is to have Mrs. Overdose subdue you, and cast her to the wayside?”

“That’s what I’d do,” JP muttered.

Lloyd cast an eye at Gaston.  “My dream is to create a splendid harem -- a world of love without limits, without equal.  To abandon a single person, or to abuse them for my own gain, is an action worthy of the finest damnation the gods can muster…but an action that pales in comparison to your mere existence nonetheless.”

“You flatter me, Lloyd,” said Gaston.

“That wasn’t my intention, I assure you.”  He flashed Gaston a mocking smile.  “Realizing my dream is my chief -- and most difficult -- task.  And the sooner I’m done with you, the sooner I can move on to something that truly matters.”

Gaston didn’t bother answering.  He just had one last laugh, and folded his arms.

JP raised an eyebrow.  “That almost sounded cool.  But if you’re done trying to make yourself look like a tough guy, I could sure use a hand not getting blown to pieces.”

“You needn’t worry, brother.  Your hero, the prince of love, has arrived!”  It was a statement that would have had more oomph if Lloyd hadn’t tripped and face-planted onto the stage.

JP looked back at Mrs. Overdose.  “Sooooo…you wanna just shoot me now and get it over with?  Because I think I’d prefer that to getting trampled to death.”

But before Mrs. Overdose could give him an answer -- or the sweet, releasing touch of death -- Lloyd sprang to his feet and started for the pair.  “Now see here, Mrs. Overdose!  I can’t have you making a mess of my kin -- not as long as I draw breath!  For you see, I, Lloyd Beatrice Hoigleheimer, have much to discuss with you!  And I pray that before this day is done, I’ll have put myself in a position to give you clear access to the Promised Land!  An infinite world of love, and joy, and freedom, and the occasional delightfully buxom young woman!”

Mrs. Overdose turned aside, and swirled her reed around in her mouth.

“Aha!  So I see you’ve started to consider the possibilities!”

“Nah, I stopped paying attention a while ago.”  She started to frown.  “Just wondering if I’m ever gonna get paid.”

“Who on earth would care about money at a time like this?”

“I would.  I totally would,” JP grumbled.

“Never mind you, you munchkin-sized miser!  The adults are talking here on matters of love!  Beautiful, gun-less love!”

“You DO remember that you’re only seventeen, right?”

Mrs. Overdose looked over to Gaston.  “Hey, phantom of the opera!  Any chance I’m gonna get SOME money today, or am I gonna have to make you even uglier?  ‘Cause at this point, I’m more than happy to rearrange your face so that you can lick both my feet at the same time.  Hell, I’ll even do it free of charge.”

“Oh, so it’s compensation you want?  Well, why didn’t you say so sooner?  I’ve had it ready for you this whole time.”  Gaston reached into his suit and pulled out a fat stack of dollars, and tossed it onto the stage a few yards away from Mrs. Overdose.  “It’s all yours.  And there’s plenty more to come, provided that you put on a show for me.  We ARE in an auditorium, after all -- indecorous as it may be at the moment.”

“About friggin’ time.”  Mrs. Overdose started to reach for the stack, and --

“That’s quite enough of that!”  Before she could get too far, Lloyd made a mad dash for the money.  A shame that he didn’t get too far.

Ka-SHOTGUN WHIP!

Mrs. Overdose didn’t bother holding back.  She just let loose with the heaviest strike she could muster -- more than enough to send Lloyd flying off the stage and crashing against the floor.  “Hrk!  S-such a vicious blow!  Truly, this is the power of the fairer sex,” Lloyd moaned as he sat back up.  But as he did, a near-delirious smile spread across his face.  “It’s a power I’m all too familiar with -- and I’m afraid it’ll take a bit more than that to thwart my efforts!”  He climbed back atop the stage, and sped toward the money agai-

Ka-ANOTHER SHOTGUN WHIP!

Lloyd went flying right back to the ground, this time landing on his face with a thud.  “Hrrrrgh…another fearsome strike…!”  But just like before, he climbed to his feet and adjusted his glasses.  “But you will bear witness to my resolve!”  He climbed back onto the stage, and --

Ka-SERIOUSLY ANOTHER WHIP!

Lloyd landed on his crown that time -- and if not for his remarkably hard head, he might have suffered a real injury.  But of course, he just stumbled to his feet once more.  “I’ll…I’ll show you!”  He climbed on the stage --

Ka-SOME PEOPLE NEVER LEARN!

Lloyd stood up once again.  “This battle is not yet over!”

Ka-THIS IS GETTING KIND OF SAD!

“FEEL MY SPIRIT’S SCALDING HEAT!”

Ka-MAYBE THIS ONE WILL KNOCK A TOOTH OUT!

JP wriggled a few inches closer to the stage’s edge.  “Lloyd?  Maybe now would be a good time to try something different!  Maybe, like, grabbing me and bailing out of here?  I wouldn’t mind being safe for once, you know!  Had kind of a bad day!”

Lloyd slapped a hand against the stage, and then another hand, and finally managed to drag himself to a standing position.  “I…I will not abandon a woman in need…!”  He started sliding atop the stage like a slug.  “I can feel it.  I know…that this woman…needs my help!  And it’s my job -- my duty -- my very reason for living -- to heal her with my OVERFLOWING LOVE!”

“Does she even WANT your help?”

“Of course she does -- even if she doesn’t know it!”  He rested on one knee.  “A life dedicated solely to the gathering of money…a life committing crimes against innocent children…a life that sacrifices free will and common decency to follow the whims of a masked schemer…does that sound like the kind of person that DOESN’T need help?”  He wobbled to his feet once more, and ran a fist across his mouth.  “I foresee a beautiful new world -- and I intend to bring as many people as I can into it.  And when I do --”

“You should probably listen to the kid,” said Mrs. Overdose.  “You know why I’m doing this?  You know why I’m working for a freak and doing one random-ass job after another?”  She shot an eye at the money, and then looked back at Lloyd.  “Easy.  It’s because I want money.”

“For what reason could you --”

The gunwoman snorted.  “Oh, I get it.  Just because I’m gettin’ old, you think I’ve got some kind of sob backstory?  What, you think I’ve got sick grandkids waiting at home for me?  Or I’m just tryin’ to save an old friend?  I can’t believe I’m sayin’ this about a crappy-ass actor with purple hair, but you’re even dumber than you look.” 

She shot a thumb at herself.  “I want money because I like money.  It’s all for me.  Not some kid.  Not someone I love.  It’s all about me -- always has been, always will be.”

Gaston’s hearty guffaws filled the auditorium.  “Oh, now THIS is entertainment!” he said with a showy clap.  “Now then, Lloyd.  What will you do in the face of adversity?  What power can you muster to make your aims a reality, and your life a guarantee?”

“You just wait, Gaston!” Lloyd shouted.  “I’ll win her heart soon enough!”

“How?  Is it not obvious just how misfit the two of you are?”  He waved a hand through the air, fingers a-squirming.  “This is reality.  Humans that you may be, there is an unbridgeable gap between the two of you -- a dichotomy that separates minds as well as hearts.  You have no hope of convincing her, one who has seen the world and revels in reality, to join you -- you, or your scatterbrained fantasy.”

Lloyd winced, and gazed at Mrs. Overdose.  Much as he hated to admit it, Gaston had a point.  If he couldn’t have her become endeared, he couldn’t enter the audition room -- and even then, he’d have to find a way to convince her to abandon her work as Gaston’s goon.  How could he approach her?  How could he prove that his love was greater than money?

Gaston tapped his wrist.  “Best get a move on.  The clock is still ticking.”

TO BE HEARTINUED…

No comments:

Post a Comment