“Lloyd, you must be out
of your damn mind!” JP yelled, squirming in his ropes (and to his horror,
bumping his head against the shotgun barrel).
“Does this look like someone you want hanging around you?”
Lloyd nodded, and held
out a hand to Mrs. Overdose. “She is a
woman, after all. And surely my sacred
hall of love is more than enough of a reason to --”
Mrs. Overdose shoved JP
aside and aimed her gun at Lloyd’s face.
“I don’t suppose I get paid extra for turning this guy’s head into
tomato soup, huh?”
Gaston chuckled and
clapped, and crossed his legs. “Ah,
always quick on the uptake, Mrs. Overdose.
Always ready to fire the first shot…it’s such a delightful trait,
madam. But, stay your hand -- I’m not
quite ready for our dear jester to bow out.
Not yet, at least.” He rested his
chin atop one hand, and leaned forward; the holes in his mask nearly filled the
air with smothering glee. “I want to see
it with my own eyes. I want to see our
dear monsieur struggle futilely, right up to the final curtain.”
“You haven’t bested me
yet, Gaston!” Lloyd shouted. “So long as
I have time, I can keep fighting!”
Lloyd started for the stage. “Fortune favors the bold.”
“All right, then. Suppose you manage to use your power to gain
some semblance of an advantage. And then
what? Would you have her turn her arms
on me, and render me little more than a crimson stain? Would you command her to do a deed that you
could never -- WOULD never do? Would you
touch her heart if only for a chance to strike back at me, the one who has so
wronged you, your family, and your friends?”
He shot a finger at Lloyd’s heart, head cocked and shoulders a-rocking. “Ku fu fu…I wonder who among us is the true
villain. The one who admits his aims so
readily? Or the one who masquerades as
an agent of justice? Of love?”
Lloyd pressed a foot
against the top of the stage’s first stair, but came to a halt. “You give me too little credit, Gaston,” he
said as he pushed up his glasses. “You
assume that my sole aim is to have Mrs. Overdose subdue you, and cast her to
the wayside?”
“That’s what I’d do,”
JP muttered.
Lloyd cast an eye at
Gaston. “My dream is to create a
splendid harem -- a world of love without limits, without equal. To abandon a single person, or to abuse them
for my own gain, is an action worthy of the finest damnation the gods can
muster…but an action that pales in comparison to your mere existence
nonetheless.”
“You flatter me,
Lloyd,” said Gaston.
“That wasn’t my
intention, I assure you.” He flashed
Gaston a mocking smile. “Realizing my
dream is my chief -- and most difficult -- task. And the sooner I’m done with you, the sooner
I can move on to something that truly matters.”
Gaston didn’t bother
answering. He just had one last laugh,
and folded his arms.
JP raised an
eyebrow. “That almost sounded cool. But if you’re done trying to make yourself
look like a tough guy, I could sure use a hand not getting blown to pieces.”
“You needn’t worry,
brother. Your hero, the prince of love,
has arrived!” It was a statement that
would have had more oomph if Lloyd hadn’t tripped and face-planted onto the
stage.
JP looked back at Mrs.
Overdose. “Sooooo…you wanna just shoot
me now and get it over with? Because I
think I’d prefer that to getting trampled to death.”
But before Mrs.
Overdose could give him an answer -- or the sweet, releasing touch of death --
Lloyd sprang to his feet and started for the pair. “Now see here, Mrs. Overdose! I can’t have you making a mess of my kin --
not as long as I draw breath! For you
see, I, Lloyd Beatrice Hoigleheimer, have much to discuss with you! And I pray that before this day is done, I’ll
have put myself in a position to give you clear access to the Promised Land! An infinite world of love, and joy, and
freedom, and the occasional delightfully buxom young woman!”
Mrs. Overdose turned
aside, and swirled her reed around in her mouth.
“Aha! So I see you’ve started to consider the
possibilities!”
“Nah, I stopped paying
attention a while ago.” She started to
frown. “Just wondering if I’m ever gonna
get paid.”
“Who on earth would
care about money at a time like this?”
“I would. I totally would,” JP grumbled.
“Never mind you, you
munchkin-sized miser! The adults are
talking here on matters of love!
Beautiful, gun-less love!”
“You DO remember that
you’re only seventeen, right?”
Mrs. Overdose looked
over to Gaston. “Hey, phantom of the
opera! Any chance I’m gonna get SOME
money today, or am I gonna have to make you even uglier? ‘Cause at this point, I’m more than happy to
rearrange your face so that you can lick both my feet at the same time. Hell, I’ll even do it free of charge.”
“Oh, so it’s
compensation you want? Well, why didn’t
you say so sooner? I’ve had it ready for
you this whole time.” Gaston reached into
his suit and pulled out a fat stack of dollars, and tossed it onto the stage a
few yards away from Mrs. Overdose. “It’s
all yours. And there’s plenty more to
come, provided that you put on a show for me.
We ARE in an auditorium, after all -- indecorous as it may be at the
moment.”
“About friggin’
time.” Mrs. Overdose started to reach
for the stack, and --
“That’s quite enough of
that!” Before she could get too far,
Lloyd made a mad dash for the money. A
shame that he didn’t get too far.
Ka-SHOTGUN WHIP!
Mrs. Overdose didn’t
bother holding back. She just let loose
with the heaviest strike she could muster -- more than enough to send Lloyd
flying off the stage and crashing against the floor. “Hrk!
S-such a vicious blow! Truly,
this is the power of the fairer sex,” Lloyd moaned as he sat back up. But as he did, a near-delirious smile spread
across his face. “It’s a power I’m all
too familiar with -- and I’m afraid it’ll take a bit more than that to thwart
my efforts!” He climbed back atop the
stage, and sped toward the money agai-
Ka-ANOTHER SHOTGUN
WHIP!
Lloyd went flying right
back to the ground, this time landing on his face with a thud. “Hrrrrgh…another fearsome strike…!” But just like before, he climbed to his feet
and adjusted his glasses. “But you will
bear witness to my resolve!” He climbed
back onto the stage, and --
Ka-SERIOUSLY ANOTHER
WHIP!
Lloyd landed on his
crown that time -- and if not for his remarkably hard head, he might have
suffered a real injury. But of course, he
just stumbled to his feet once more.
“I’ll…I’ll show you!” He climbed
on the stage --
Ka-SOME PEOPLE NEVER
LEARN!
Lloyd stood up once
again. “This battle is not yet over!”
Ka-THIS IS GETTING KIND
OF SAD!
“FEEL MY SPIRIT’S
SCALDING HEAT!”
Ka-MAYBE THIS ONE WILL
KNOCK A TOOTH OUT!
JP wriggled a few
inches closer to the stage’s edge.
“Lloyd? Maybe now would be a good
time to try something different! Maybe,
like, grabbing me and bailing out of here?
I wouldn’t mind being safe for once, you know! Had kind of a bad day!”
Lloyd slapped a hand
against the stage, and then another hand, and finally managed to drag himself
to a standing position. “I…I will not
abandon a woman in need…!” He started sliding
atop the stage like a slug. “I can feel
it. I know…that this woman…needs my
help! And it’s my job -- my duty -- my
very reason for living -- to heal her with my OVERFLOWING LOVE!”
“Does she even WANT
your help?”
“Of course she does --
even if she doesn’t know it!” He rested
on one knee. “A life dedicated solely to
the gathering of money…a life committing crimes against innocent children…a
life that sacrifices free will and common decency to follow the whims of a
masked schemer…does that sound like the kind of person that DOESN’T need help?” He wobbled to his feet once more, and ran a
fist across his mouth. “I foresee a
beautiful new world -- and I intend to bring as many people as I can into
it. And when I do --”
“You should probably
listen to the kid,” said Mrs. Overdose.
“You know why I’m doing this? You
know why I’m working for a freak and doing one random-ass job after
another?” She shot an eye at the money,
and then looked back at Lloyd.
“Easy. It’s because I want
money.”
“For what reason could
you --”
The gunwoman
snorted. “Oh, I get it. Just because I’m gettin’ old, you think I’ve
got some kind of sob backstory? What,
you think I’ve got sick grandkids waiting at home for me? Or I’m just tryin’ to save an old
friend? I can’t believe I’m sayin’ this
about a crappy-ass actor with purple hair, but you’re even dumber than you
look.”
She shot a thumb at
herself. “I want money because I like
money. It’s all for me. Not some kid.
Not someone I love. It’s all
about me -- always has been, always will be.”
Gaston’s hearty guffaws
filled the auditorium. “Oh, now THIS is
entertainment!” he said with a showy clap.
“Now then, Lloyd. What will you
do in the face of adversity? What power
can you muster to make your aims a reality, and your life a guarantee?”
“You just wait,
Gaston!” Lloyd shouted. “I’ll win her
heart soon enough!”
“How? Is it not obvious just how misfit the two of
you are?” He waved a hand through the
air, fingers a-squirming. “This is
reality. Humans that you may be, there
is an unbridgeable gap between the two of you -- a dichotomy that separates
minds as well as hearts. You have no
hope of convincing her, one who has seen the world and revels in reality, to
join you -- you, or your scatterbrained fantasy.”
Lloyd winced, and gazed
at Mrs. Overdose. Much as he hated to
admit it, Gaston had a point. If he
couldn’t have her become endeared, he couldn’t enter the audition room -- and
even then, he’d have to find a way to convince her to abandon her work as
Gaston’s goon. How could he approach
her? How could he prove that his love
was greater than money?
Gaston tapped his
wrist. “Best get a move on. The clock is still ticking.”
TO BE HEARTINUED…
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