Patton nodded slowly
and folded his arms. “So that’s how it
is, huh? Manly or not, you’re the bad
guy. You’re about to wreck Porbeagle,
for one reason or another.” He unfolded
his arms, and started popping his knuckles.
“All right then. Get ready to eat
your own face.”
“Ah-ah-ah -- we can’t
have any onstage violence until the script demands it,” said Gaston, waving a
finger at the colossal captive. “The
time is not yet right for the duel -- and I certainly wouldn’t engage in one with
an extra like you.”
“Extra?”
“Figuratively speaking
of course. As the show’s mastermind and
arguable leading man, I have more of a…shall we say, stake in the show. I suppose
it’s a bit hasty of me to call you extras, but you’re all at least a tier lower than I am.”
“Oh, don’t worry, my
dear. I haven’t forgotten about your
compensation. You’ll get the money for
your daily bread soon enough -- but first, I would think that a bit of a…shall
we say, explanation is in order.”
Mrs. Overdose slammed
her head against the door.
Gaston swept his hands
through the air slowly, as if trying to conduct a symphony; each motion sent
his fingers into a chaotic dance. “Would
you like to hear a secret, Monsieur Hoigleheimer?”
“I’ll pass, thanks.”
“No? So the brute refuses to open his mind? Ah, what a shame.” He looked to Trixie, his mask’s smile almost
curving even further. “And how about
you, mademoiselle? Eager to have your
mind opened?”
Trixie glared at him.
“Then I suppose that
leaves the young Hoi-”
“I-I’M NOT AFRAID OF
GHOSTS!” the sweaty JP blurted. “THEY
DON’T EVEN EXIST!”
Gaston stared at JP for
a minute, and then turned to the rest of the group. “And now, as is the standard, I shall reveal
my rationale. Ku fu fu…I know the custom
is to reveal the master plan, but I just find that old convention so trite --
and of course, I can’t have my precious plans ruined before the grand
premiere. You follow, yes?”
He didn’t even bother
waiting for an answer; he just continued his conducting, humming a tune that
likely sounded sublime to him, but came off as a cacophony to the captives. “Let me tell you a secret about this great
blue planet of ours,” he practically sang.
“All the world’s a stage.”
Mrs. Overdose held a
palm over one eye. “Here we go...”
Gaston’s cape flowed
even more than before, as if a divine wind danced about him (or someone opened
a window). And then he began:
“All the world's a
stage,
And all the men and
women merely players:
They have their exits
and their entrances;
And one man in his time
plays many parts,
His acts being seven
ages. At first the infant --”
“Will ya get on with it
already?” Trixie yelled. “Whaddya want
from us, and what’re ya plannin’ on doin’?”
Gaston froze in
place. “My, my…women today are so
earnest and direct; rather distressing that they can’t take a moment to enjoy
the niceties of Shakespeare.” He relaxed
his body, and returned to his usual -- if exaggerated -- stance. “Even with that segment, you understand the
gist of that visionary’s intent, yes?
You understand the nature of life itself?”
Patton and Trixie
exchanged a quick glance.
“Humans…they are born,
they live, and then they die. A standard
progression, a common cycle that binds us all -- it is our connection to the
mortal coil that unites us as a species.
It is a truth that one must accept, lest they seek to be thought a
fool…or worse, struck down by the wrath of the Lord. However…”
Gaston held up a finger, keeping it more rigid than the trio thought
possible of him. “Humanity has lost its
way. They have become so acclimated to
the rules and conventions of the day that they have erred. They are content with living such stale,
colorless lives. They are content with whatever they believe is “natural” and
“normal.” The only thing they refuse to
be content with is that which differs; the unique and unseen are dismissed,
disrespected, or outright dismantled.”
He spun around, and his
cape whirled about as he virtually broke into dance. “Ah, this world! How it clings to reality! How it abhors the flighty, unforeseeable,
vibrant colors in time’s tapestry! But
alas, such is life…such is humanity.”
Gaston stopped moving,
and stared at the trio -- and for a moment, a wave of malice swept out of his
smiling mask. “It sickens me.”
He raised a hand to the
heavens. “And that is why I intend to
change all of that, post-haste. What
this world needs is -- to put it in contemporary terms, fair friends -- a
shake-up. It needs a jolt, a bolt with
more voltage than Zeus Himself could provide, to bring a revolution. To remind the populace of the whimsy, the
zest, the beloved uniqueness of our world, I intend to take control. To be the director of a new world order.” He pressed that same hand to his heart --
though his fingers refused to touch the blade lodged inside it. “It’s true, I may be using some rather
unsavory brute force, but my intent is indeed heartfelt. For the sake of a paradigm shift…for the sake
of a unified, transformed world, where the heart is free to appreciate
unexplainable wonders…I will descend upon the earth, and alter it as per my
designs.”
He pointed at JP, at
Patton, at Trixie. “And none of you can
stop me.”
“Yeah, we’ll see about
that,” said Patton.
Gaston didn’t even
flinch; he just opened his arms wide.
“Ku fu fu…oh, so you think you can keep the world on its errant path
with muscle alone? Very well, then. I welcome you to try, Monsieur. Aim well, and try to hit me.” He waved a hand at Mrs. Overdose. “You needn’t retaliate, my dear; as you’ve
likely guessed, I’m in no danger.”
“Wasn’t planning on it
anyway,” the huntress cracked. “No pay,
no point.”
“A-ha! Ever the shrewd businesswoman!” He focused back on Patton. “Now then, what say you to a gentlemanly
duel? I’ll even do you a service; I’ll
allow you, good sir, to throw --”
Patton didn’t even
bother letting him finish. With a primal
roar he leapt at Gaston and slammed the ground; the sheer force of the attack
practically made the mansion rumble, and Trixie’s hair fluttered from the
gales.
If his attack had hit a
normal man, he’d be a splatter on the carpet.
But Gaston was far from normal.
For one thing, he’d dodged the attack with ease. And for another, he stood on the ceiling.
“Ku fu fu…my, so
impetuous,” he taunted, his cape still hanging around him as if he stood in
normal gravity. “Well, I was going to
say ‘I’ll allow you to throw the gauntlet’ but I suppose I’ll revoke that
statement; good manners are wasted on a beast like you. And I’d throw my own glove, but, well, these
are just my favorite pair of gloves,
and I’d hate to get them dirty.”
“Get your ass down
here!” Patton roared. “If I have to jump
up there and get you, you’ll regret it!”
“Mr. Hoigleheimer, are
ya just gonna ignore him bein’ able to stand
on the ceiling?!” Trixie asked, taking hold of his now rock-hard arms. “I mean, I wanna kick his dandy ass halfway
‘cross town, too, but --”
“Good. Then I’ll throw you up there, and you can
drag him down here so I can finish him off!”
“That’s not what I --”
Patton looked down at
JP. “Oh, wait. Son, did you want to finish him off? I think you’re old enough for your first
taste of vigilantism-based assault.”
“Whatever, I don’t
care! Just kill him already!” JP shook his head furiously. “A-a-and you CAN kill him, because he’s NOT a
ghost!”
Gaston clapped
stridently from his perch on the ceiling.
“Keh ha ha ha! Splendid! Simply splendid! You see?
THIS is the zest of LIFE!
Irregularity, unpredictability, a disregard of reality! And yet…and yet…I want more! So much more!
I know you can give it to me…I know, instinctively, that you can all let
your extremities run wild! And I’ll have
them -- all of them -- made real soon enough!”
He pressed a hand to
his mask, but that did little to stop his uproarious laughter; his howls echoed
from one corner of the mansion to the other, shaking the dust and cobwebs from
their resting grounds. And then, just as
quickly as he’d started, he stopped -- and he looked down at the trio. “My, oh my.
Methinks I’m getting ahead of myself; we’ve yet to finish our little
fight, as I recall. So allow me to
deliver the killing blow.” He threw out
an arm in a flourish, and snapped his fingers.
And with that, the
entire mansion flipped upside down.
Neither Trixie, nor
Patton, nor even JP had enough time to register the turn; the mansion turned so
fast that they didn’t even tumble against the floor. They just started falling toward the ceiling,
and crashed against it with a resounding thud.
And they didn’t fall alone; paintings, the carpet, and even the
chandelier came crashing down, each one bringing with it a crash of varying
magnitude.
Amidst the chaos,
Gaston stood atop the ceiling -- or rather, the now-bare floor. “Ku fu fu…I hope now you’re all starting to
understand,” he said as he watched them stumble to their feet. “You have potential, but in the end, you’re
all limited in your capacity. What you
need is a director, playwright, a craftsman, a savior to give you what you need most. So heed my voice; let me give you the
direction you so need, and let the flow carry you to a new plateau.”
Patton bore his
teeth. “And what if we don’t want to?”
“Then I’m afraid I’ll
have to be a bit unpleasant with you.”
He twirled his fingers through the air -- and shortly after, a grinding
rumble echoed through the grand hall.
The source? The walls themselves -- all of them moved
towards the group, moving faster and faster and faster, with a very clear
intent in mind.
To crush them all.
TO BE HEARTINUED…
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