“I’m not saying [Kingdom Hearts III] is the game of the year. But it’s inching toward that point. Slowly.”
“Okay, yeah, no, this is not the game of the year and never will be.”
--Me, this week
Welp. Here we are again. How about another wrestler theme for the books?
Actually, game, I have a pretty good feeling that I do know you.
I want to start off by saying that this post will be lax on spoilers for everything before the Pirates of the Caribbean world -- and since I played the Big Hero 6 world first, that’s part of the spoiler-fest as well. Now that that’s been established, I’ll make a claim: this is not purely the doom-and-gloom, “this game sucks” post you’re salivating for. Outside of NieR: Automata and Octopath Traveler, Kingdom Hearts III is still probably the best game with the Square-Enix logo on the box (at least out of the ones I’ve played). There are just two problems with that claim.
1) That doesn’t mean very much, considering.
2) There are some grievous flaws that keep it from being an unbridled success.
And frankly -- as I suspected well before release day -- I knew this would happen. Not the idea that the game would have problems, oh no. I knew that if and when the game came to roost with all of its leaking, rancid warts, it was going to hurt. And it does hurt. There are good things about KHIII. I’ve had fun on more than one occasion. It’s put a smile on my face more than any Final Fantasy game since…jeez, probably FF10. At least intentionally. But I’m getting close to the 20-hour mark for the game, and I’m having flashbacks of how I felt when I played through 3D. You don’t want me to feel that way. Trust me.
I put up that spoiler warning to start, but here’s the thing: it really doesn’t feel necessary…because it doesn’t feel like the game has even started yet. I’m worried that KHIII is going to do that Squeenix thing where there’s a decent start, a whole lot of nothing happening for 15-20 hours, and then the dumbest thing(s) possible happening as it limps toward a flaccid finish. While there’s some variability on when/how/why things happen the way they do -- 3D soiled the bed hard enough to leave a putrid crater in the last few hours of its runtime, AKA when the story actually started progressing -- modern-day Squeenix JRPGs have a huge issue with faffing about. And then when it’s time to stop faffing about, the “reward” is as welcome as a knife to the lung.
Right now it feels like I’m not just on a quest to find the other potential guardians of light. I’m on a mission to find the plot -- the actual progression that creates highs and lows throughout the journey. Challenges that make, break, and shape the cast. Actual, meaningful content. There is something there, to be sure. But KHIII, if not the whole franchise, is haunted by this issue. It’s good at giving you vignettes, but stumbles every time there has to be an overarching narrative. The vignettes don’t connect well to the main plot, which should be the main draw and the number one factor. Yet as always, the main plot gets marginalized until it’s time to awkwardly cram it into a single world, or single event, or single whatever.
Why that happens in each game varies. But since this is a post on KHIII, I can pinpoint the core problem here. Well, problems, intertwined as they are. So here it is: I’m almost 20 hours in, and I have no idea what the villains’ motivation is.
In the context of the franchise? Yeah, I know it, thanks to (being forced to absorb) the lore from previous games. The endgame, I think, is for the thirteen seekers of darkness -- led by Master Xehanort -- to clash with the seven guardians of light in a battle that, presumably, will create the X-Blade (as in the Greek letter chi, even though it’s pronounced “key” in-universe because shut up) which will then trigger another Keyblade War and then bring forth the true Kingdom Hearts. Or something. I still don’t know how you have a war with less people than it takes to play a football game, or what happens when the good guys refuse to even play, or why Xehanort is even bothering with such roundabout methods when he can just nort whoever he wants and -- no, no, let’s not get bogged down by that now.
There’s a close approximation of a motivation -- Yen Sid offers an explanation at the start -- but the details are the usual stumbling block. And because the details aren’t properly minded, the contradictions sprout like crazy. So in Tangled world, Marluxia suggests that if Sora and crew can’t fill out his ranks with Roxas and the Birth By Sleep gang, then the Organization will rope in the new seven pure hearts/princesses of light as substitutes. Okay, fine. But then when Rapunzel is scouted as a princess, Marluxia intervenes to try and steal away her happiness…I guess…to ensure that she gets infested with darkness and becomes a worthy vessel? But I thought that the whole shtick behind the princesses was that they don’t and can’t have darkness? Was that it? Did I just make that up?
Okay, so Marluxia’s meddling ensures that Rapunzel goes through that Disney thing where there’s a misunderstanding and/or the lead is forced into their darkest hour -- which in this case means that Rapunzel’s back in Mother Gothel’s hands and back in the tower. But then Rapunzel follows Tangled’s script to a T, tells Gothel off, and gets her hair cut; Marluxia decides that Gothel’s of no use and the villain falls out the tower, becoming a Heartless for Sora to fight because Marluxia already infused her with darkness beforehand to…make sure she did something that…she already would have done by herself…?
So wait, does Marluxia’s plan -- and the Organization’s plan, as well -- depend on princesses getting infused with darkness (by way of falling prey to negative emotions) and no longer being pure lights? So that then they can nort them into seekers of darkness? OR do they need to protect and preserve the seven pure lights so that they can become guardians? Even though they’re not Keyblade wielders and only a small percentage of them are combat-ready? I’m confused, because it seems like the Organization is trying to have it both ways. In Frozen world, Larxene wants to see if Elsa will choose light or darkness, and…then what?
What would they have done if at any point Elsa had actually died? Or Anna, given how close she came to becoming a Popsicle? Larxene’s all smug because finding Anna means they’ve got a twofer for light hearts, but what’s the criteria for success here? Why go with backup plans when the Organization has every tool needed to trigger the second Keyblade War by virtue of norting and time travel? And replicas, potentially? What’s the end goal for their evil and subterfuge? Ambitions run wild? Justifying existence? Evil for evil’s sake?
Never mind. Here’s the bigger problem: the villains in general suck.
It’s an issue with both their baseline and implementation. As it stands, I legitimately can’t tell the difference between Marluxia and Young Xehanort; both of them are callous, smug, condescending, and can’t for the life of them speak in clear, direct, concrete language. It’s a struggle to see any meaningful emotions from them. It doesn’t make them mysterious or threatening; it makes them boring. I wrecked their plans in the kingdom of Corona and the Toy Box (respectively), but I have no clue if I made any progress in my quest, or put a dent in their plans, or even gave them some mild inconvenience. Like, the most I got out of Y. Xehanort was two seconds of him gritting his teeth, and right afterward it was back to “just according to keikaku” mode.
Setting aside the fact that their nonchalance in every scenario denies me the chance to feel accomplished for making progress, every clash I’ve had with the Organization so far has been a grand buffet of nothing. All they’ve done is cause havoc offscreen, show up to smugly taunt Sora, spout cryptic nonsense that tells me less than nothing, and then leave while acting like everything’s going just according to keikaku. Larxene’s probably the best of the bunch right now because at least she gets into the act (with gestures so rapid and hammy she wouldn’t look out of place in an episode of Power Rangers), but every time they show up, I either sigh or groan. Certainly, I resent their mere presence -- right down to their mere entrance from world to world.
Side note: if these guys can warp to Sora whenever they feel like it, what the hell was the point of the Recusant’s Sigil?
Side note part deux: can I please start having boss fights with these guys so I can kill them off for good? Please?
It’s bad enough that I’m on a quest for the plot (again) because a bunch of rambling jagoffs are holding the script hostage. But the Organization sucking is leaving ripple effects on the entire story, such as it is -- and given who’s penning the tale, it doesn’t need any more unsteady hands rocking the boat. Like…okay, sure, this is the brainchild of Nomura and crew (especially Nomura, more so than I originally thought), and they’re allowed to do whatever they want with their intellectual property. With that in mind, you would think -- you would THINK -- that they would treat it with care. Now we’re at KHIII, and apparently they can just throw around and throw out all of the concepts that helped make the franchise special to begin with.
So according to the new KH lore, Keyblades can be broken. Okay, fine. I can believe that. Like, I thought that they were a manifested mixture of a person’s psychological makeup and the sacred energies of the universe -- and to be fair this might just be my headcanon projections -- but fine. Zangetsu got broken in Bleach a few times, but it got reforged and I didn’t mind there (mostly because the means to reforge it were largely metaphysical). And hey, maybe a broken Keyblade in KH could have all sorts of consequences and connotations. If that’s going to happen later on, then the devs are keeping that card close to the chest.
What really gets my goat is the fact that Keyblades are even less special than the canon has progressively implied -- which is saying something, given events in KHII. Riku gets his Keyblade broken, which made me think “Oh jeez, this is bad. What’s going to happen to our boy now?” Riku’s response? Shrug it off, plant his broken blade in the dark realm’s sand, and then walk right out of the evil dimension with Mickey to get a new one.
What? What? Are you for real right now?
Am I…am I going crazy here? Am I remembering things wrongly? Is this what it’s like to be gaslighted? I thought that the Keyblade was special back in KHI, because Sora was (almost) the only one that could use it, a sacred weapon and the only deterrent against the Heartless. Then Mickey shows up at the end with his own Keyblade, but fine. He’s the king, he’s Mr. Disney, and it’s the end of the game. Suspension of disbelief.
Then you get to KHII, and Riku/Ansem just tosses Kairi a Keyblade she uses for like one scene. That’s terrible, but you could maybe argue that Riku’s just using his newfound powers to jury rig something together. Then at the end of KHII you see a field of Keyblades, implying that there was a major conflict in the past. I’m mostly okay with that; it would mean that the Kingdom Key is special because it’s the last surviving relic of an apocalyptic age. Then you get to 3D, and Axel just summons one. Because he’s a popular character, I guess, but fine. Whatever. Whatever. It’s an extension of his heart.
But then you get to KHIII, and apparently getting a new Keyblade is as easy as going to Home Depot. Granted Riku gets his new weapon offscreen so we don’t see the process behind it (which is a problem in its own right, but whatever), but come on. Come on, guys! Riku is one of the main characters in the entire franchise, and we don’t get to see what could be a pivotal moment in his arc? We don’t get to have the manifestation of his resolve shown to us? Just give him a giant car key with no explanation and no fanfare -- which you can apparently do now? In a process that’s not even worth mentioning? Did Mickey reforge it? Did Yen Sid? Did Riku? If so, how?
And if it’s that easy to forge and reforge Keyblades -- and upgrade them, as KHIII’s latest gameplay mechanic reveals, not counting the Ultima weapons sprinkled throughout the franchise -- then why aren’t they being produced and offered en masse? Why aren’t Keyblades being given to people to help in the fight with Xehanort? I mean, sure, I get it; the first Keyblade War happened because a bunch of idiot children fought a battle instigated by their idiot leaders, and no one’s in a rush to repeat the mistakes of the past. But it doesn’t have to be an all-or-nothing scenario.
Granted there’s a part of me that wants that scenario, because what better way is there to send off this arc of the franchise, and up the conflict’s scale into something even 20% larger than a paintball game? Why not explore the narrative possibilities of such an extreme method? But okay, if it really is a concern that such great power has to be kept under tight control, then carefully manage the recruitment process. Surely there have to be people in the multiverse capable and worthy of wielding Keyblades. Someone, somewhere. Maybe Mickey knows some guys. Maybe Yen Sid can find some people. And Riku’s a Keyblade Master now, right? So he can scout for talent and decide if others are worthy…in a manner unlike how he became Keyblade compatible.
youpileofaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaassssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
If it seems like I’m dwelling on completely inconsequential details, then think again. This is important, because these “details” are a summation of everything wrong with this franchise. One: plot details only come into play to advance the overarching story towards a predestined conclusion, even if they contradict previous plot details. Two: there’s rarely, if ever, any interest in fully exploring the particulars of the universe set up. Three: the favoritism-fueled tunnel vision towards some story elements blinds the devs to pretty much everything else. Again, I’m nearly 20 hours in and the game’s story -- this, the last game in the story arc, the one some people have waited more than a decade for -- is on life support. Why? Because instead of exploring new avenues and possibilities, Nomura and crew, in their infinite wisdom, decided to offer us a divine blessing and have an entire story revolve around characters that, for the most part, aren’t very good.
This isn’t just my hate-boner for Terra talking. (Well, not entirely.) Roxas, Xion, Ventus, Namine, Terra, and even Aqua haven’t gotten the attention or craftsmanship they needed -- and still need -- to become so crucial that the fate of the multiverse depends on their revival. That’s a subjective statement, I know, but given the world-class “quality” of the franchise’s writing, I don’t think I’m talking out of my ass any more than usual. Even at their very best, the time has passed for most of these guys. Instead of pushing onward to the future, we’re still stuck in the past with a lot of the same major players -- and many of them have barely been fleshed out beyond their hairstyles.
Until proven otherwise, I’m convinced that literally the only reason Demyx is back is because of the power of memes.
The story’s not moving. I’m betting that it will soon, and in the dumbest direction possible (because history repeats, and repeats, and repeats). Right now, though? I’m not satisfied. I’m frustrated. KHIII’s Disney vignettes have their merits, of course. The problem, to reiterate, is that there’s nothing holding them together -- no skeleton, no foundation, no cohesion. It’s a story about its characters, but most of them have to scrape like feral moles to even dream of reaching par. Hinging so much of the story on them, and moving them across the proverbial chessboard with no discipline or adherence to rules is about as harmful as you’d expect.
Sora is on a mission in this game to obtain the power of waking and free those lost to the Xehanort gang’s manipulation in the past. So far, he hasn’t turned up anything (which wasn’t helped by him reverting back to Level 1). Between his failure to gain new power, the Organization members that do nothing but show up, taunt, and leave, and the previous Keyblade wielders they don’t even know how to find, let alone wake up, all I’ve done for nearly a full day in real time is spin my wheels. And I’m no expert on the franchise, but, uh, I had a thought. Instead of having Sora bumble around in the dark, do you think maybe Riku or Yen Sid could, I don’t know, tell Sora how the fuck to activate the power of waking? Or maybe have him hang out with Kairi and Axel in that Hyperbolic Time Chamber Merlin can apparently create now, just ‘cause, and have him train there until he’s either mastered waking or until he’s Level 9999 and can thus curb-stomp the Organization into oblivion?
How do you make a story that falls apart even when there’s nothing happening? How do you make a story that, even with enough foibles to sink any other production, is still the best game Squeenix has put out in years?
*sigh*
…
…
…
…Wasn’t this post supposed to not be all about the doom and gloom? Guess not.
I guess I’ll have to get into the positives another day. For now? I don’t know, man. I need a muffin or something. Maybe that’ll cheer me up.
Either that, or more wrestling. It’s been a hot minute since I’ve seen any matches.
No comments:
Post a Comment