If you're reading this -- whether you're a part of that community or not -- I hope you'll take time out to have a moment of silence.
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And now, let's move on to a different subject. Click the jump for my typical irreverence.
…This is gonna suck.
(Warning: spoilers to follow.
Leave now if you haven’t seen the movie.)
(Warning: seriously, if you haven’t seen the movie -- and want to
remain impartial to the movie and form your own opinions when the time comes --
then close the page and go read something else.)
(Warning: you’re still here?
Look, it’s a nice sentiment, but don’t try to be a hero; what follows is
going to be a slew of spoilers, but more importantly a series of highly
debatable, highly controversial opinions.
If you’re the sort that’s easily incensed by opinions that don’t match
your own, this is not the post for you.
Leave. Now.)
(Warning: beware the Portuguese man-o-war.)
I…I, uh…I don’t…I mean
I kind of…urrrrrrrrgh.
All right. I guess I’m just going to come out and say
it. As of this moment -- until I
inevitably spend seven thousand words and the better half of a week pounding
out my final thoughts -- I…
Oh wait. Hold on a second. Wheat lands, swathe me with your divine
protection! Barrier! Okay, good.
That’ll give my defense a boost, at least for a little while. Now where was I? Oh right.
I don’t really like The Dark Knight Rises.
I know, I know. Blasphemy in its purest form. I must confess and attempt to repent for my
sins, but even then it won’t be enough.
All that’s left for me is to be excommunicated, and plunged into hellish
depths so yawning that the devil himself would be afraid to venture in. But make no mistake: this is going to be one
of the hardest things I’ll have ever written.
Do you think I like
feeling this way? Do you think I like
feeling underwhelmed and disappointed by a movie that humanity itself has
practically anticipated? Do you think I
like walking out of the theater, knowing that my own preferences and ideas will
inevitably be called out because I dissent?
“Oh, you don’t like gritty stuff, so that’s why you don’t like the
movie.” Or “Oh, you’re not a Batman fan,
so you have no right to speak.” Do you
think I like knowing that those two statements aren’t ones coming from others,
but from myself?
I mean…just…dammit.
This is just so aggravating; I spent a walk out of the theater
stewing. I spent the ride home
stewing. I spent the remainder of the
night -- from getting back at around 12:30 A.M. to eventually falling asleep at
around 3 -- stewing. I even started
pacing around my room at one point, rubbing my head and trying to sort out my
thoughts and opinions -- trying to convince myself that I was overthinking
things, and I should just be happy.
Doubly so considering a friend of mine who went with me; he came out of
that movie practically glowing, and
proclaiming with utmost honesty that TDKR
is a perfect, badass movie.
I envy him. I envy everyone in his little viewing party
(one that included myself, my brother, said buddy, and four other friends) who
managed to watch that movie and come to a decision. Meanwhile, I’m sitting here typing, thinking
to myself that A) I’m over-thinking, B) I’m waffling, C) I’m trying to change
my opinion into something more acceptable, D) I’m letting my preferences get
the better of me, E) I seriously need to relax or I’m going to give myself an
ulcer, or F) all of the above. I don’t
like feeling this way -- and to that end, I’m going to do all I can to lay
these feelings, and this movie to rest.
So here’s what I’m
going to do. I’m going to write. I’m going to go over what happened in the
movie. I’m going to give my thoughts and
opinions -- what worked, what didn’t work, comparisons, contrasts, etc. I’m going to do a service to TDKR; I didn’t pull any punches when it
came to Prometheus, and since I
committed myself to a new standard of being impartial and analytical, I’d be
betraying both myself and the work of hundreds if I didn’t offer an honest
opinion about the movie. Then -- and
ONLY then -- will I be able to decide my true,
final thoughts about TDKR.
There’s nothing wrong
with what I’m doing. I’m just going to
do what I always do: write. I’ll write,
give my opinion, and do what I can to prove my case. Make of it what you will; come to your own
conclusions, correct me, agree with me, whatever. Just give me some space for my thoughts, and
I’ll gladly do the same for you. That’s
all.
And now, with all that
said, let’s talk about The Dark Knight
Rises.
--So the movie opens
with --
Wait, wait, wait, wait,
wait. Hold on, there are two things I
need to bring up first. Before I get too
ahead of myself, I want to start by saying that The Dark Knight Rises is NOT
-- I repeat, is NOT -- a bad movie. It is a good movie. It is a movie that deserve respect for the
amount of work and talent put into it, and worthy of praise heaped on by those
that see and enjoy it. Just because my
opinion is…well, let’s call it mixed for now…doesn’t mean that it’s objectively
bad. And likewise, I’m not going to try
and convince you that the movie is bad and you shouldn’t see it. Because you are either going to see it
anyway, or have already seen it -- again, because you exist. In fact, I’d argue that if you haven’t seen
it or don’t want to see it (if you’re some kind of contrarian), then you should
see it anyway.
The second thing I want
to bring up is the inevitable comparison to The
Dark Knight -- or better yet, to give an analogy. I like to think of the two movies in this
respect: The Dark Knight is to The Dark Knight Rises as Final Fantasy VII is to Final Fantasy VIII.
In case you don’t know,
FF7 is kind of a big deal to
gamers. FF7 is the game that established RPGs -- JRPGs especially -- as a
tour de force in the public conscious.
It was big, it was bombastic, it was brutal, it was brilliant…but it
also had depth, meaning, memorable characters, and has largely withstood the test of time. It is THE game that gamers
think of when someone mentions Final
Fantasy or JRPGs -- a fact that developer Square Enix is all too aware of
-- and in many respects, everything that’s right with the genre. Conversely, FF8 is considered to be the origin and enduring symbol of
everything that’s wrong with the genre…to say nothing of the (often justified)
confusion, disappointment, and hate heaped upon the title. While I wouldn’t call FF8 a masterpiece -- in spite of spending more time with it than I
care to admit back in the day -- I think that it’s not as awful as people
say. More importantly, I think that FF8’s greatest crime was being the
follow-up to the people’s darling FF7. You don’t follow up a massive gift to your
lover with a palm-sized one; otherwise, you’re just inviting disappointment and
a night on the couch.
TDKR is in the same situation.
Like I said, it’s not a bad
movie -- but compared to TDK, it
might as well be. I plan to discuss this
later, but for now let’s stick with a comparison of villains. Comic fan or not, I know that Joker is one of
Batman’s most iconic villains; moreover, he’s one of the most iconic villains
in comic book history. I know him best
from the cartoons of yesteryear as a smiling, laughing, tackily-dressed
psychopath with no shortage of prank-themed death weapons. That’s fine.
But when I saw TDK, I saw
Joker in a whole new light. I saw Joker
as more than just a villain; he was someone rightfully and legitimately
terrifying. Chalk it up to the late
Heath Ledger’s skills or just Nolan and the movie in general, but Joker
provided a chilling performance as he toyed with everyone and gave ol’ Brucie a
run for his money. Granted that was
partly done with no shortage of omniscience, but it still made for a genuinely
gripping movie.
Bane, on the other
hand…Bane never struck me as anything more than hired muscle. I saw him as someone who provided a foil to
Batman, but on a different axis than what was on display in TDKR; whereas Batman relied on
intelligence, skill, preparation, and technology to win, Bane -- by virtue of
his strength-enhancing serum -- relied solely on dumb, brute force. He was a thug, but a deadly one
nonetheless. Not knowing the comics (though a quick jump to Wikipedia suggests he's more intelligent than I gave him credit for), I
can’t be sure as to how accurate a declaration that is; that said, I have my
image of him. And that image naturally
contrasts with the movie; was Bane ever that cultured and silver-tongued? Is he really the type to come up with his own
plan and command others? I suppose
there’s no sense in wondering, given that the movie’s out and the
interpretation has been made…but even if this Bane is more intelligent (or
not), he’s not all that compelling.
That’s with regards to Joker AND fiction/writing as a whole, mind you; he’s certainly
imposing, and certainly dangerous, but not once did I feel the same amount of
fear I did from TDK’s Joker. Not once did I think “Wow! Bane is an amazing villain!” He was just a villain -- and in light of the
pedigree at hand, he could have, and should
have been amazing.
I’ll add more on Bane
later, but I think I’ve made a fair enough point already. So now, finally,
let’s talk about The Dark Knight Rises.
--My favorite characters in the movie (from 3rd to 1st place) are Lucius Fox, Alfred, and Commissioner Gordon. I almost wish the movie was more about Gordon than Batman...and by almost I mean certainly.
........................................
--..What, you were expecting more?
Don't worry, I'll get to it. Oh, believe you me, I'll get to it. But I've already blown nearly two thousand words on this "intro" alone, and I want to have a nice clean slate for the next post. So...yeah, I'm gonna go ahead and sign off now. Tune in very soon for more flaky reasoning and worship of old men.
