Lloyd stared at Sheila.
Sheila stared at Lloyd.
Lloyd stared at Sheila.
Sheila stared at Lloyd.
Lloyd stared at Sheila.
Sheila stared at Lloyd.
Lloyd raised a
hand. “Excuse me.”
“Yes?”
“…What?”
“Miss O’Leary,” said
Lloyd, holding up a hand to stop her. “Before
you get too ahead of yourself, I have to ask you a question.”
“What is it?”
“…What?”
Sheila glanced aside. “This is harder than I thought,” she muttered
to herself. “I guess he’s one of those
guys who are all looks and no brains…”
“I object! You can’t possibly
expect for me to agree to this so quickly, can you? You’re proposing that we make merry, here and
now, in a school restroom? And
furthermore, have you forgotten that just minutes ago you were throwing bombs
at me? And prior to that, you’ve been
stalking me? And need I remind you that you were throwing bombs at me?!”
Sheila ducked back
down, like a rabbit sinking into its hidey-hole. “S-sorry!
I…I-I was just so nervous that I realized that I’d rather blow you up
than try to talk to you!”
Lloyd could only stare
at the stall.
“I’ve been training all
summer,” Sheila began, sliding back into view.
“I took a correspondence course at the local athletics center…and then I
decided to just spend the next few months reading on commando maneuvers
protocol on the internet. If I couldn’t
meet with the one that I loved in person, then I’d just have to become a master
of stealth and follow you in secret…and if things got too hairy, I’d use my
tools to make a quick escape.” She
glanced aside again. “I guess I made the
wrong type of bomb, though…but at least you survived. You’re a little more physically capable than
I would have guessed.”
She’s certainly capable at romancing, Lloyd thought. But he shook his musings out of his
mind. “Miss O’Leary, I can tell that
you’re far from the average malcontent, and that alone gives me reason enough
to have faith in you. Still, I’m afraid
that I can’t accept your proposal.”
“B-because of the
bombs?”
“That too. But more importantly, the timing is far too
unsavory. Perhaps someday we might, but
as things stand -- as long as I haven’t an idea of just who you are -- the gap
between us remains insurmountable.” He
gestured toward the door. “To say
nothing of the faculty members eager to sink their disciplinary claws into you.”
“Disciplinary
claws?” Sheila lowered her head a
bit. “Oh man. This guy sure uses a lot of weird language…I
may be in over my head here. A-am I
gonna have to start carrying around a dictionary? Or…um…maybe a thesaurus?” She snorted a few more times.
Very capable at romancing.
“Whatever the case, I suppose there’s nothing much more to say.” He offered a quick but gentlemanly bow. “Much as I enjoy your proposal and your
attention, and your…antics…I’m afraid
I’ll have to decline.”
“But I love you!”
Sheila cried out, shooting her head past the stall’s edge.
“Y-yes, well…” Lloyd stroked his cheek. He hadn’t forgotten about that little detail;
if anything, that element kept running through his mind even as he strung his
words together. Just how was he supposed
to deal with that? Sure, this girl had
very nearly turned him into a pile of splattered guts, but only out of some
quirky anxiety. How could he turn his
back on someone of the fairer sex? And
more importantly, someone who’d confessed to him?
Time to test my tact, Lloyd thought. “I suggest we ‘take it slow,’ as they
say. Given time to develop our
relationship and meet much more regularly -- in person, and NOT in air vents --
doubtless you’ll have a chance to sway me to your persuasion. Why, with the right motions, you could easily
make it so that I love you as much as you love me. Or perhaps you’ll find my company ultimately
unfulfilling, and move on to a more suitable, less unsavory fellow to admire.”
Sheila tilted her
head. “You don’t think you’re good
enough for me?”
“Arguably. I didn’t inherit my father’s hardy body or
monstrous strength -- two factors that, as I understand it, would make me far
more desirable in the eyes of women everywhere.” He rubbed the back of his head and grinned
sheepishly. “If it’s my genes you’re
after, you might find your progeny more than a little underwhelming.”
“Nuh-uh. If I have children with my true love, then
the curse that’s been in my family for generations will finally be lifted.”
“…I beg your pardon?”
“My family was cursed
by fairies a dozen generations ago. And
if I want to finally get rid of it, I have to have children with my true
love.” She ducked out of sight for a
minute, and Lloyd heard her blow her nose into some toilet paper. “Urgh.
Should have brought more tissues; toilet paper’s too harsh on the nose.”
“Wait a minute! Just…just one minute here -- what’s all this
about ‘curses’ and ‘fairies’?”
“My family got involved
with some fairies a long time ago, and the fairies cursed them. So now everyone of the O’Leary bloodline has
to deal with…well, it varies from person-to-person.” She sniffled a few times. “I…I guess I’ll go ahead and show you. You’d have to find out eventually…unless we
were doing it in the dark.”
“What are you…?” But Lloyd cut his question short; a great
sense of foreboding began to creep through him.
He steeled himself, keeping his heart’s beating as stable as he could --
but he couldn’t do anything to stop his sudden trembling. Would he have to take flight? Or would he risk it all in the face of a new
threat?
The sound of shifting
fabric made its way out of the stall.
“J-just don’t be mad, okay? I’m
only doing this because I love you, Lloyd.”
A slew of clicking sounds followed soon after -- and with that,
something fell to the floor.
Lloyd crouched down and
peeked at the bottom part of the stall.
Apparently, Sheila had taken off a few of her belts -- belts laden with
pouches, bombs, grenades, and enough bullets to make an NRA member jump for
joy. “Er…what exactly are you doing?” he
asked, watching as her army boots jostled about.
Sheila didn’t bother
answering. She just kept shifting
around, little by little -- and then, she slipped off her boots and let them
tip over. “M-Miss O’Leary…yoo-hoooooooo…is
anyone there? I…I would very much like
to know what you’re planning to do.” He
held up two quaking hands, all too aware of his reddening body and his spiking
heat. “I mean, I certainly wouldn’t
expect for a girl I hardly know to begin doing what I think she’s doing.”
A pair of camo pants
fell around her ankles. She brushed them
aside with one foot.
“HNGHAH! M-M-Miss O’Leary!” Lloyd waved a hand in front of his face. “S-surely you aren’t planning something as
indecorous as taking off all your clothes and standing before me! Because that would simply be an unprecedented
compromise of school day manners!”
A white tanktop fell to
the ground.
“AGRABAH!” Lloyd threw himself in front of the stall
door. “Now see here! Much as I would appreciate the fair form of a
maiden such as yourself, I’d prefer NOT to be the prime suspect in a sexual
harassment suit! Given my luck -- and
the propensity for people to walk in at the worst possible moment in situations
like these -- I’d rather not see you in a state of undress right now!” He snapped his head to the left. “Maybe eventually, but not now!”
“Lloyd, I’m wearing
more clothes underneath.”
“Eh? B-but your feet are --”
“I’ve got some hanging
on the hook here. I’m putting them on now.”
“Oh.” Lloyd swiped at his forehead and leaned
against the door. “Whew! You gave me quite a fright. For a moment I thought you’d do something a
bit too risqué for a Monday afternoon!”
“No. I just thought…I-I mean, I figured I should
show you the truth. See, the fairy’s
curse…it…it made me something beyond human.”
Lloyd raised his
eyebrows. “Care to elaborate?”
“I’ve got the left arm
of a demon. I try to keep it hidden most
of the time, but…well, it’d only be a matter of time before anyone -- you,
especially -- saw it. And…a-and I trust
you enough to show it to you first.”
“Miss O’Leary…do I
really mean that much to you?”
“Uh-huh.” She snorted a bit more. “If it’s you, I’ll be happy.”
Lloyd furrowed his
brow, and started stroking a temple. Sheila O’Leary…try as he might, he
couldn’t remember anyone by that name.
And he would have certainly remembered someone as distinct as her. So why?
Had she been stalking him in secret all this time? Was she just an incidental encounter? Or someone from his past he’d long since
forgotten? So, yet another strange woman appears before me, he mused, covering
his mouth. And here I was thinking that I was the oddest fellow in this story.
“Very well. If you’re willing to trust me, then I’ll
trust you as well,” said Lloyd, unable to hide a smile. He stepped away from the door and turned to
face it. “If you want me to see your
devil’s arm, then -- and pardon my pun -- I’ll accept your true form with open
arms!”
“Lloyd.”
“Yes?”
Sheila blew her nose. “I lied.
I really did take my clothes off.”
“Oh.” It took a full five seconds for Lloyd to
process what that meant.
“Hghabaghdababa! Miss O’Leary,
you can’t --!”
But it was too
late. She swung the door open and
stepped outside.
Lloyd’s mouth hung wide
open. He started sweating all over
again, and he turned redder than the ace of hearts. He reared back, as if staring down a junkyard
dog, with fingers squirming and his legs struggling to keep his body
upright. “E…E…E…” he sputtered, his eyes
bulging so far out of his head they nearly shoved his glasses off his
face. “E…E…E…”
He fell to his knees,
and threw up his hands -- as if to drag the very sky down to earth. “EXCALIBUR!” he roared.
Skin so smooth and
pearly that it hardly seemed real -- doubly so, as it cast an almost ethereal
gleam. Legs as long as Lloyd’s, and
eight times as shapely, begging to be stroked by a hyperventilating onlooker. Hips so wide they could bear Paul Bunyan’s
children, no doubt bound to an ass so pert and bubbly he could have jumped off
it like a trampoline, both sheathed in green undies that might as well have
been painted on. A trim, slender waist,
glistening like the rest of her body and curved like a million-dollar
vase. Fingers and toes so delicate
they’d make a geisha look like a gorilla, and ending in nails gleaming with a
jewel-like luster.
And her chest. That chest.
THE chest. Perfect shape. Perfect symmetry. Swelling and contracting with each breath she
took, with more than a bit of bounce following each motion. Breasts several sizes past the D-cup
threshold, safely contained in a lacy, shamrock-green bra; Lloyd could almost
hear them speaking to him, their siren song begging for release.
Lloyd’s eyes almost
fell out of his head. Sheila O’Leary might
have had the head of a nerd, but she had the body of a supermodel…or better
yet, a caricature of one.
Sheila clasped her arms
behind her back. “Th-this is what the
curse did to me,” she explained, shifting about a bit.
“THAT’S what you call a
curse?!” Lloyd yelled. He sprang to his
feet. “Miss O’Leary, surely you
jest! Such a blessing, such an endowment
heaving before me, larger than any bust I’ve ever beheld in real life or on the
internet, is nothing short of God’s majesty given form -- the form of two soft,
majestic, positively magnificent
collections of flesh and tissue…the matron’s symbol, personified, and aggrandized
to its apotheosis! The zenith has been
reached; no mortal OR deity may dare challenge you! Aphrodite herself would spread unsavory
rumors about you in a bid to have your divine form sullied -- BUT, any harm
that would come to you and your well-being, be it emotional or otherwise, would
merely ricochet harmlessly off your impenetrable fortress of a body! The bastion of motherhood, of grace and
warmth and love, and milk! For a man to decry you, and subjugate you to
ridicule by merely bemoaning your improbable yet insatiable form, is NOTHING
SHORT of a crime against all men, all creatures that walk the earth! A sin!
O, joyous day, for such a woman to walk the earth! Come, let us depart for the forest, where I
shall invoke the muses and sing you twenty-seven songs of glory, that you may
--”
“Ah-CHOO!”
Sheila’s sneeze blew a
few liters of snot onto Lloyd’s body.
“…S-sorry,” she muttered, blushing as Lloyd wiped his glasses on his
shirt.
After wiping himself
down with a few paper towels, Lloyd set his glasses back atop his face and
brushed at his bangs. “Think nothing of
it, my dear.”
“So…you, um…you like
what you see?”
“YEEEEEEEEEEEEES! Yes MA’AM!
Did my speech just now not sway you to my appreciation of your
condition?”
Sheila looked up at the
ceiling. “Y-yeah…I kinda wasn’t paying
attention. You just kept talking and
talking, and…well, sometimes it’s hard to keep up with that stuff, you know?”
“But I thought I did
rather well!” Lloyd moaned, lowering his head (and giving himself another
chance to stare at Sheila’s chest).
“I’m sure it was really
pretty. Like…totally pretty, for
sure.” She snorted a few times. “Sooooooooo…you ready to do it?”
Lloyd snapped his head
back upward -- this time, looking her in the eyes…or at least, he kept one eye
on her glasses and the other on her chest.
“Eh? What do you mean?”
Sheila walked toward
the door, and stood in front of it, her hands clasped daintily before her
hips. “Sorry, Lloyd. But I’m not letting you out of here until we
do it.”
“Eh?! B-but why?!
What did I do to deserve this?”
“You wanna know what you
did to deserve having a girl with over-the-top curves pine after you and give you
an opportunity to make merry with her without any questions right here and
now?”
“Ah --” Lloyd held up a
finger to object, but cocked his head to the side. “Okay, I deserved that. I suppose I walked into that one.”
“Besides, you’ve seen
me now. You like it, too.” She sniffled a bit, but took a step forward
regardless. “S-so…so that means you
wanna go at it, right?”
“I should have known
this was just an attempt to have me perform such salacious deeds! Much as I approve of you, and much as I
profess my devotion to pleasing the fairer sex, you’ll not best me today!” Lloyd jerked his head away and shut his
eyes. “Taut-bodied temptress! I’ll not be seduced!”
“Lloyd.”
Lloyd opened his eyes
and looked at his hands; they hovered in midair, armed and ready to snag a
touch. “…Okay, I’m seduced. But I’m STILL not going to do anything with
you today!”
“Why not? Don’t you want to touch me?”
Lloyd bit his thumb. With all the excitement (in more ways than
one) in meeting Sheila, he’d forgotten about his little ability. A mere handshake was all it took for him to
head inside a woman’s heart and start his process in the audition room; if he
so much as hugged her, what would happen?
And even with just a slight motion, he’d still head into that room…would
he face failure and danger once more, just as he had with Lien-Hua?
Until I better understand my power, I’d best keep my hands to myself,
he thought. But Miss O’Leary seems to be in no mood to move. Under normal circumstances, I’d just try to
move her aside…but in this case, that may be out of the question.
Sheila pouted. “I…I-I’m gonna give you till the count of
three,” she warned. “If you don’t come
over here, I’m going over there.”
“W-wait! Hold on a minute! We can sort through this like adults! We’ve no need to give into base desires so
rea-”
“One.”
Lloyd held up his hands
and backed up a step. My fortunes have soured…if I don’t act
quickly, then I’ll have more than just a little guilt on my hands! But how can I escape such a poor situation?! He frowned and let loose a quick sigh. Perhaps
I would have had better luck dodging those bombs.
Wait a minute…that’s it!
“Two.”
Lloyd ducked into the
stall, but darted back out quickly -- yet he hadn’t come back
empty-handed.
“I’m giving you an
ultimatum, Miss O’Leary,” he declared with a wide yet panicked smile. “Let me free, or I’ll be forced to use this
grenade!”
TO BE HEARTINUED…
No comments:
Post a Comment