The following is probably
the most rational, unbiased, laissez-faire, and comprehensible E3 reaction blog
post you’ll find on the internet.
HUUUUUUURGH VIDEO
GAMES! RRGHRAAAGH WHY ARE THERE SO MANY
SHOOTERS AND KNIFE KILLS? OHMAHSTAHZ
RAYMAN LEGENDS AND WATCHDOGS! WAITWHA
NIKE AND KINECT NOOO I HATE BEING FIT!
ZOMBIE REGGIE WOULD LIKE YOU TO BUY A WII U! PIKMIN 3 YEAAAAAAAAAAAH! AND THEN THERE WAS A DANCE PARTY!
What? I delivered on my promise.
…All right, here. My real thoughts on E3.
One: I like to try and
prove that I’m right through evidence.
Things I’ve read and seen, pros and cons, and good ol’ fashioned logic
-- without those, I won’t prove anything.
Two: What I say is
largely opinion, either mine or based on the word of others. It’s fourth-grade knowledge; the moment you
start using words like great/terrible/best/worst is the moment it stops being
fact and becomes opinion.
Three: Just because I
can prove I’m right (or at least try to) doesn’t always mean it’s fun. If I predicted that the world would end
tomorrow and it actually did, I guarantee you I wouldn’t be dancing about
it. It might LOOK like I’m dancing as I
try to dodge the hammering rain of hellfire, but that’s just a consequence of
me trying to, you know, live.
So when I look at what I posted just a few weeks ago for comparison’s sake, I don’t feel particularly
accomplished, or proud, or even happy. I
just feel…all right. And as a whole,
that’s how I feel about this E3.
If I had to describe
the conferences as a whole in one word, it would be “safe.” That’s all that the gaming gang -- Microsoft,
EA, Ubisoft, Sony, and even Nintendo -- needed.
While the Big N still had higher stakes to attend to, even they had the
same general goal as the others. This E3
was just a progress report. It was a
chance to tell gamers “Okay, you know this stuff is coming, so let us show you
how we’re doing on that and why you should care about us.” Fair enough.
It wasn’t like EA was about to announce a new console. So basically, how much this E3 rocked or
sucked depends on how much you approve of the companies playing it safe. If you resign yourself to an expo full of
practicality that shows glimpses of what you already expected with the
occasional surprise, then you’re probably not complaining. If you were expecting jaw-dropping
revelations and supreme evidence as to why you should throw your dollars at
these companies, you’ll probably walk away shaking your head and needing a few
dozen beers.
Well, that’s enough of
an overview. Let’s talk about the
conferences one-by-one. I’m not going to
grade/rank/score them because my Point Calculator 8000 is on the fritz, so just
read on (and pretend you’re playing with a pinball machine if you absolutely
need numbers to look at).
It started with a
shooter, and it ended with a shooter. If
I didn’t know any better, I’d say that there was something almost poetic about
it…except the words are made out of bullets.
I also like how Blops2 trades
in its brown aesthetic so it can dye itself a healthy shade of goldenrod.
Well, as I said, all
Microsoft had to do was maintain a stable level of hype. So they did -- or tried to do -- just that:
they showed off some games, like Halo 4 and
the aforementioned Call of Duty: Black
Ops 2. Plus they had some Far Cry 3 and some Tomb Raider, and of course some Assassin’s
Creed 3. As I noted yesterday, the
theme of this E3 seemed to be “killing the crap out of guys with knives” -- in Tomb Raider it was most noticeable,
because the first thing I’d do if I was trapped in the wilderness alone and
battered with untold dozens of crooks crawling about, the first thing I’d do
after shooting a guy twice with my bow is run up to him and try and carve his
sternum out as a trophy. Kidding aside, I think that I’m more excited for Tomb Raider -- regardless of my stance
on gritty reboots -- than I was before…though now I’m a little worried about
the de-emphasis on exploration and the string of set-pieces and murder
opportunities shown on-stage. (On a side
note, I like how the showcase of a new Forza
game was undercut by showing off a trailer for Gears of War Judgment first.)
And then there was the
other stuff. Hoo boy…
Look, I’ll admit that I
understand what Microsoft’s trying to do.
We’re at a point in society where we can start making the stuff seen in
speculative fiction a possibility; with things like the Kinect and MS’s
constant efforts at making the 360 a hub for entertainment, I can’t blame them. They’re moving us towards the future, little
by little. The problem is that even
though I understand what they’re
doing, that doesn’t mean I enjoy what
they’re doing (especially at a conference that’s supposed to be about games,
last I checked). So when Microsoft
trotted out its Nike/Kinect partnership dealie, I started flipping through
whatever reading material I had on hand.
The same applies for their discussion about sports, and all the
partnerships coming to Xbox Live. And
the same applies to Xbox Music. And the
same applies to…wow, did they really have all this junk during their
conference? How long was I reading
for? And how long was that thing?
I think that the
problems I had with the MS conference is a problem that I have with waaaaaay
too many games this generation: everything
looks the same. With the exception
of a chosen few, games nowadays have too-similar styles. Brown and gray environments -- and if not
those, then a washed-out palette. Urban
decay, crusty habitats, and a healthy layer of grime either in the world or on
the people themselves. A seventy-percent
chance that the world the game creates is an awful place to live (via war, an
apocalypse, or otherwise), or that the characters in it are miserable or down
on their luck. Zombies and/or
explosions. And the less said about
gameplay similarities and trying to be “cinematic,” the better off I’ll be.
Let me paint a picture
for you. MS wants you to get excited
about MS games, products, and services (incidentally by using some third-party
titles, but I digress). To do that, they
show you games that you already know about, and have either pledged your soul
towards pre-ordering, or want to burn their headquarters in effigy. The choices you have are myriad, but eerily
similar to one another; the alternatives -- Kinect trying to pass off a
medieval 3D Angry Birds as something
special -- aren’t much more appealing.
Take those away and what have you got?
Besides that.
SmartGlass. Oh, right.
In all fairness, this does seem like another earnest attempt by MS to
push us into the future, and not just a chance to take a share of Nintendo’s
thunder (although given statements like “using the devices that you already
own,” it’s arguable that they’re out to drive a stake through the WiiU’s game
pad). That said, I don’t see the appeal
of SmartGlass right now. It’s
interesting tech, to be sure, but what does it mean in the context of
games? Yeah, it’ll probably become
something big somewhere down the line, but right now? Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…yeah, I guess it’s
cool. Guess we’ll just have to wait and
see.
Regardless, the
highlight of the show and the SmartGlass showcase was South Park: The Stick of Truth.
Or to be more precise, the headshot that Matt Parker and Trey Stone
scored on MS.
I remember a time when
EA couldn’t do much else besides put out crappy licensed games. Okay, that’s not exactly true…I remember a
time when EA had this one golf game out for the Genesis, and I consistently got
bogeys because I couldn’t time my swings correctly. Now they’re one of the biggest names out
there -- for good and for ill.
In this case, it seems
like it’s mostly for ill. Why, you
ask? Well, when you start off your
presentation saying how you plan to turn games into a service and “continue
providing content long after release,” that doesn’t exactly make me want to
profess my loyalty.
So, the games. Um, let’s see here. They showed off a new Madden and a new FIFA. Or at least, they showed Madden for the second time that day. And they touted just how much they planned on
integrating their sports games with social media and the like. That’s cool, I guess.
And they showed off Dead Space 3 with co-op gameplay -- you
know, just in case you didn’t want to play a survival horror/action game and
needed a pal to help you face the untold hordes of aliens without fear. And there was talk about Battlefield 3 DLC for the next nine months…including, but not
limited to, soldiers on motorcycles. And
just in case you hadn’t gotten your shooter fix yet, they showed off Medal of Honor: Warfighter (at least
they’re upfront about it in the title).
At least it’s using the Frostbite 2 engine…you know, just in case they
decided to NOT try and differentiate it from Battlefield. Oh, and there
was Crysis 3, so…more shooting? That’s…that’s pretty…thorough.
At least they had a
non-gritty, non-shooty SimCity locked
and loaded. For a second I started
getting hyped when it looked like they were showing off a new Burnout, but then I saw that it was just
Need for Speed. I think my favorite part of this conference
was when I went to feed my dog and grab some fish.
You would think that
after the cataclysmic event that was Mr. Caffeine, Ubisoft would pull in the
reins and avoid embarrassing itself and everyone watching with half-baked
announcers and stage gimmicks. So
naturally, the first thing they did was embarrass itself and everyone watching
with half-baked announcers and stage gimmicks.
Nothing says video games like impromptu dance parties and awkward
attempts to entertain the audience.
That aside, Ubisoft --
to my surprise -- had a pretty solid showing this year. Assassin’s
Creed III is their big title right now (by dint of featuring more stabbing)
and while there’s no doubt it’ll be a competent game, the CG trailer leaves me
shaking my head in disdain. I always
thought of the assassins as masters of stealth and subterfuge; I guess Ubisoft
doesn’t feel the same way, because they were content with showing Connor taking
on the entire Redcoat army by himself and making a win against the
possible. I like how nobody can seem to
land a shot on him, even after he steps within point-blank range of their
general and Connor stares at him menacingly without
moving.
But with that aside, I’m actually, truly,
genuinely intrigued by the new IP Watch
Dogs. First of all, it’s not a
shooter (at least not a pure shooter).
Second, it looks like it’s actually primed to tell an interesting,
meaningful story. Third, it leaves me
wondering just how the protagonist -- if you can call him that -- will use his
seemingly-magic cell phone to solve his problems. I’m just so thankful that there’s still a
game out there that doesn’t have all its problems solved by knife stabs. Of course, that doesn’t mean that the game’s
perfect by virtue of being the new kid.
At the end of the day, the protagonist pulls out a gun and starts
shooting, and engages in gunplay that wouldn’t look out of place in a Rockstar
game; just in case information manipulation and cyber-domination aren’t cool
enough for you, there’s an explosion to wake you up. But in spite of my quibbles, that’s the one
game that’s got me hyped, if nothing else.
I just hope people are liking it for the right reasons (given G4’s
replay of footage that axed all the technology shots to show the action, I feel
a bit worried).
Side note: Rayman Legends made me puke glorious
rainbows…but that’s to be expected when you’re the sole, divine savior amidst a
sea of grit and scowling.
Okay, I’m gonna step
away from talking about Sony as a gamer and talk about Sony as a writer (and if
you saw the conference, you probably know what I’m referring to). Sony…Sony, you deal with electronics. In the context of the PS3 and Vita and --
once in a blue moon -- the Move, you deal with video games. That’s your thing. That’s your medium. You own it.
You do not own
books. Don’t…just don’t. I’d talk more about that, but for now that’s
all I’m going to say.
Anyway, moving on to
the rest of the conference. First up was
Beyond, from the guys behind Heavy Rain. You know, sometimes I think I’d prefer it if
all these game developers out to make “cinematic experiences” just moved en
masse to making movies, because for the life of me I couldn’t find anything
that looked like gameplay in the demonstration they brought up. Seems like they were more excited about
showing off cutscenes and face-rendering technology. And on that note, I like how they were so
excited about their Face-o-Tron 6000 and
how they nabbed Ellen Page for the role, and then had her sitting there quietly
without a twitch for all but the last few minutes and a trailer featuring her
character going to town on some dudes.
Riveting.
There was also Playstation All-Stars: Battle Royale. Again, this isn’t a game that I’m too worried
about; it’ll be a financial success by way of aping Smash Bros., and by that same token it’ll be a solid game. This was just a little progress report and a
way to get the fans excited…though what’s baffling is that when presented with
a chance to show off some of the characters, they picked Fat Princess instead
of PS3 posterboy Nathan Drake…and then acted like his reveal at the end of the
presentation was a big surprise. Well, I
guess it wouldn’t be the first time Sony’s made a baffling decision.
Let’s see, what
else? Oh, there was some talk about the
Vita, and how there are going to be PS1 classics like Final Fantasy VII heading to it.
And another Assassin’s Creed,
and another version of CoDBlops. Huh.
Guess that’s all you need to prove your hardware’s worth, huh? Okay, let’s move on.
God of War: Ascension is just as violent and chaos-happy as
everybody expected. I don’t think I need
to say anything more about the game that codifies this year’s theme of “killing
the crap out of guys with knives.”
What I WOULD like to
talk about, however, is The Last of Us. While it does feature some much-needed
stabbing, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t intrigued by it. I’m not in loved with it, and I’m not
insanely hyped about it, but I’m a little curious. On the one hand, it looks like another take
on the zombie apocalypse. On the other
hand, it looks like a GOOD take on the zombie apocalypse. The lead characters are interesting and it
looks like they have a deep, meaningful relationship, but I’m more excited
about the world they live in. What
happened, exactly? What’s it like
now? How do people survive
nowadays? If memory serves, the lead --
Joel, I think is his name (even though he reminds me of an old, bearded Nathan
Drake) doesn’t have regenerating health.
He has to reach into his backpack to use and equip items. Does that mean there’s going to be less of an
emphasis on piece-to-piece action, and give us time to soak in this ugly yet
beautiful world? Similarly, does that
mean we’ll get an opportunity to gather materials that will help the duo
survive? Like Watch Dogs, it’s a concept that can be screwed up pretty quickly…buuuuuuuuut
it’s also a concept that can make a truly amazing experience.
So, Sony, and everyone
involved…ya done good.
Nintendo
Well. Here we are.
Much like this E3 as a
whole, opinions are split on whether Nintendo had a good showing this
year. On one hand, you’ve got a camp
that -- in spite of seeing three new Mario
games, a new Pikmin game, a new Castlevania, the upcoming release of KH3D (which, in spite of my rage on
other installments in the series, I’m actually willing to trust), an updated
version of Batman: Arkham City, a
delightful-looking LEGO title, impending releases of Rayman Legends and Assassin’s
Creed 3, an original IP featuring zombies, a full explanation of the WiiU
(since for some reason there was some confusion on whether it was just an
add-on or a new console last year), a Thanksgiving-sized taste of what it can
do, and Reggie Fils-Aime doing his thing -- being a charismatic, meme-tastic
juggernaut -- people STILL aren’t satisfied with the conference.
On the other hand, you’ve
got a camp that’s willing to settle for three new Mario games, accept a port of a year-old game, look past more dance parties and karaoke demos,
ignore the missing mention of a “competitive price,” allow Nintendo to continue
peddling its Miis with reckless abandon in a convention ostensibly for the
hardcore gamers, and clap politely when Nintendo closes out its convention not
with the reveal of an old franchise reborn and re-purposed for the new tech,
but instead unveil their game-changing software…Nintendo Land. Thankfully,
the one thing we can agree on is that in terms of awkwardness, Nintendo kept
that rating low.
Personally? Nintendo’s in the green with me. First of all, Scribblenauts Unlimited makes ALL arguments invalid. Nigh-infinite, diction-based reality bending
with a cartoonish veneer, multiplayer, and a genuine story mode? That alone should shut EVERYONE up; alas,
such is life.
Second, just because
Nintendo didn’t show a new Zelda or Smash Bros. footage doesn’t mean we’ll never
get them. They already implied that
there wasn’t enough time to show off everything they wanted to, and what they
did show -- yes, even Nintendo Land
-- accomplished the goal of showing what the WiiU could do and that it had
games, both first- and third-party.
Considering that it hasn’t even been a year since the last Zelda came out, I’d say it’s good to
wait a bit. Considering how long it was
(or at least felt) between the first trailer for Smash Bros. Brawl and how many delays there were until the actual
release, I’m glad they’re keeping their cards close to the chest.
Third -- and this, I
think, is most important -- is just how much Nintendo’s design philosophy shone
through. MS tried to “steal their
thunder” by giving smartphones and tablets and the like connectivity with the
Xbox. Fair enough. But what MS couldn’t capture was the idea
behind the WiiU. Nintendo took time out
to emphasize the importance of the console being the focal point of the living
room; it’s designed to be something that, potentially, five whole people can enjoy
at once. Whether it’s two brothers
cooperating to beat a level or just making parties that much crazier, it’s a
console designed to make people put down their phones and play together. Having fun together. Laughing together. In a way, it’s a chance to “de-jade” gamers
and non-gamers alike. The WiiU no doubt
has some serious tech behind it, as does the Xbox, SmartGlass, and any given
phone made in the last year or so. But
it’s the purpose behind that
technology that Nintendo’s trying to convey, and I think they’ve either
captured that purpose or are very near to it.
It’s a platform to bring people -- REAL people, not just random scrubs
you’ll never see or hear in an online match in Street Fighter 4 -- together.
It’s an idealistic, if lofty goal that I can’t help but approve of.
But I just can’t quite give Nintendo my blind
blessing. This E3 was a chance for them
to prove themselves; while they succeeded in some rights, they failed in
others. I can’t call myself unbiased if
I blast other companies for peddling the same two games over and over, but give
the House of N a free pass just because its games are more colorful. Mario is safe. Mario will sell. Therefore, Mario will appear on everything
with a Nintendo label. Would it really
be that hard to bring back another franchise?
They’re banking on nostalgia, so why not resurrect an old friend? More importantly, this was a chance for
Nintendo to prove to gamers that they could balance hardcore and casual gamers,
and remove the stigma that they’re only in it for the kids now. the fact that ZombiU is a thing that’s happening should have been enough (and
depending on how you spin it, it is).
But for Nintendo to try and hype us up with Nintendo Land -- a game that hovers dangerously close to being
another minigame compilation -- is what I like to call a boneheaded move. It makes me think back to E3 2008, when their
definition of a hardcore game was Animal
Crossing.
But like I said before,
I’m not worried about Nintendo. They’ve
got games like Pikmin 3 for
first-party support. They’ve got games
like Tekken Tag Tournament 2 for
third-party support. They’ve got the
tech, a goal in mind, and a commitment to being the best gaming company they
can be -- a respite against the grime-laden, cynical world of games we live in
these days. Do they have their
faults? Yes. Did they stumble a bit at this E3? Sure.
But so did everyone else. So do
all of us. What’s important is that even
if we stumble, we keep moving forward.
Nintendo’s moving forward. Sony’s
moving forward. Microsoft’s moving
forward. Ubisoft and even EA are moving
forward. And that’s all right with me.
This was, as I said, a
safe E3. There were a few surprises, but
most of what we saw was either already expected, or just a formality (or
ignored with extreme prejudice). But right
now, safe is good enough. Think of this
expo as a step in a staircase; it’s very level and stable, and that’s the way
you want it. Get any crazy tricks or
spikes, and you’re going to take a nasty fall.
But you can stand safely on it. Use
it as a base to ascend higher and you’ll be fine -- even better off than you
were before. You seriously think that
the industry is going to implode on itself now?
Not quite; maybe someday, but for now, we’re in a good place. And for the time being, I’m going to remain
optimistic. Even with safe games and
safe motions, games like Watch Dogs
and Rayman Legends and Scribblenauts Unlimited prove that there’s
something special out there, even in this modern age of gaming. Even beyond that, there are still plenty of
awesome titles out there that’ll get you hyped -- Persona 4 Arena is primed to be an astounding fighting game,
regardless of whether or not it had a presence at E3.
So, bottom line? Not the best E3, but good enough for
now. There’s a lot of room for debate,
but there’s still a lot of room to grow.
And so, with a tip of my metaphorical hat I say: here’s to better days.
See you guys
around. I’ve got a sunset to ride into.
Scribblenauts Unlimited? I should try to find that DSi.
ReplyDeleteOr you could upgrade to a 3DS, since it's coming to that too. Regardless, I'm salivating at the prospect of making my tank house.
DeleteIt's a tank, but it's also a house. UNLIMITED POWER!