I hope you’ll forgive my
impertinence, but I probably don’t watch all the movies/TV shows that someone
my age should. That’s not to say I don’t watch TV, of course. Far from it; I make a note to watch every new
episode of Raising Hope and How I Met Your Mother I can, and I’m one
of those crazy people who still thinks The
Simpsons is funny. I was also one of
the freaks who saw Scott Pilgrim vs. The
World in theaters…but to balance that out, I also saw Super 8, all the Marvel Comics movies last year (with Captain America being my favorite), and Toy Story 3. I also saw The Thing (2011 version), but the less I say about that, the
happier I’ll be.
More like This Thing Totally Blows, am I right?
Setting movies aside, I
think the one thing keeping me from getting into a lot of programs is the same
problem that a lot of people have: continuity.
Someone who’s been watching a series from its first episode is a lot
different from someone who jumps into the fifth season because you see one of
your Facebook friends commenting about it.
They have an understanding of the show’s nuances, a connection with the
characters, and expectations that have both been fulfilled and will be
fulfilled by the story proper, in line with the foreshadowing and the viewers’
own forecasts. Anyone jumping into a
series just points at the screen and says “Who’s that?” until they need a
fistful of cough drops.
That’s pretty much
where I am with The Walking Dead
right now. I’ve seen…oh, about three and
one quarter of an episode as of this post.
When asked if I liked what I saw, I answered, “I think I’d get a little
more enjoyment out of it if I knew who the characters were…but overall I
wouldn’t mind seeing more of it. It was
good.” It was more or less a placeholder
answer until I could give the show a good analysis -- the problem being that I
could never give said analysis. I’d been
locked out of the series merely by not being near a TV with a cable connection. I could try and play catch-up by reading
summaries and character descriptions (which I’ve started, by the by), and maybe
peck away at episodes past online, but I’m willing to accept that the ship has
sailed.
But even if I did watch
every episode online, catch up on character and show summaries, take the comics
into consideration, AND make sure I never missed a new episode, I can’t help
but wonder: is The Walking Dead a
ship that I even want to sail on?
There are two things
that are holding me back. One: I -- like
a lot of people -- am tired of zombies. In the past six years, we’ve had zombie games
like Dead Rising, Dead Rising: Case Zero,
Dead Rising 2, Dead Rising 2: Off the Record, Resident Evil 5, Resident Evil:
Revelations, Left 4 Dead, Left 4 Dead 2, Dead Island, Dead Nation, Plants vs.
Zombies, and Yakuza: Dead Souls. You know, to name a few. To say nothing of games squeezing in zombies
because…because zombies, like Call of
Duty: Black Ops and Saint’s Row: The Third. And if I started listing all the movies that
have zombies in them, I’d probably never stop -- so let’s just say Zombieland and leave it at that. The point is, the media is oversaturated with
zombies, and I wouldn’t mind if we all decided as a species that we can have
things that don’t include zombies. It’s
not that we hate you, zombies; we just need a little space right now so we can
sort things out. And then I hear that The Walking Dead is supra-popular and I
wonder if we’re not in an abusive relationship with zombies.
So what’s the second
thing? Well, from what I’ve heard --
from fans, no less -- The Walking Dead
is not very good.
More like The Caulking Dead, am I right? Eh? Eh?
Dan O’Brien of Cracked
is my favorite writer on the internet (to the point where I’d argue he deserves
the title of Net Lord). If not for one
of his articles, I probably wouldn’t know The
Walking Dead outside of its title -- but having opened Pandora’s Box, I
wonder if there’s some truth to his words.
Scratch that; the words of others.
Net Lord O’Brien’s comments suggest that the show has problems. The comments in the Cracked forum suggest
that the show has a lot of problems. Thereviews from The Onion’s AV Club (and the ensuing comments) suggest that the
show has a lot of problems. Yet they
keep watching it. Lots of people keep
tuning in. The hate comes in liberal amounts. In spite of said hate, I want to keep
watching and see what the hubbub is all about, and avoid getting locked out of
a show like I have so many times before.
What the hell is going on?
My guess is that The Walking Dead is the new Smallville.
I don’t know much about the former, but I watched nearly every
episode of the latter throughout its ten-season run. A lot of people said it sucked, but I watched
it anyway because 1) Superman and 2) I decided to adopt a “screw the haters”
policy. If I may go off on a tangent
(like you have a choice, fools!), in retrospect Smallville wasn’t very good.
It had its high points, of course, and overall I’d give it a positive
score if needed, but there were a lot of…iffy
elements. Teenage Clark Kent did a lot
of faffing about before finally donning some semblance of a costume, with no
shortage of angst. A lot of
conversations spun around in circles, from the aforementioned Super-Angst to “I
know you’re a bad guy Lex/Lionel Luthor, and I’m on to you.” Lana Lang made the plots of a lot of episodes
incredibly stupid and pointless, and the conflicts could easily have been
avoided if 1) she remembered that when Clark says “don’t trust or DATE that
mysterious stranger,” there’s evidence to back it up, 2) she’d stop poking her
powerless nose where it doesn’t belong, 3) she’d realize that she was a human
with emotions in later seasons, not just a vehicle for getting into trouble or showing
off spiffy new skills, and 4) didn’t throw herself into Lex Luthor’s arms because Clark zigged when she said zag. Plots and story arcs were silly; suddenly,
Smallville’s girls -- Lana chief among them -- are possessed by witches! And then, suddenly, vampire sorority
girls! And then, suddenly, zombies!
(Urrrrrrrrgh…) And repeat plots, like
Clark’s powers suddenly getting transplanted into his dad/Lana/Lex/random star
of the episode, never to be seen again. Or
how five-sixths of most episodes were devoted to developing romance (or spinning
in circular conversations) instead of Superman actually doing stuff. Lord knows we need more drama!
More like Smallville: Attractive White People Creek, am I right? That one's good, right?
But as I said, I liked Smallville. Fights only lasted for about five minutes per
episode, but hey, how many people can take a punch from Superman? And when he did
get to cut loose in a big fight, he cut loose-- like uppercutting Bizarro into
the sun, or teaming up with the other superheroes (yes, other superheroes) to
raid a Luthor facility…complete with a “cool guys don’t look at explosions”
nonchalant walk. The appearance of
characters in the Superman mythos, like Jor-El and Brainiac, added plenty of
surprising twists. Jonathan Kent was so
badass, the only way to keep him from overshadowing Clark was to kill him off…and
even death didn’t stop him from popping in every once in a while. Angst aside, the pondering that Clark did on
his road to heroism did put up some good points -- and by the same token, the
transformation of Lex Luthor from a guy Clark saved from a car crash to him
literally saying “I am the villain” was a series-long story arc that I found
fascinating. Nearly every season finale
left me breathless, practically shaking my screen in the hopes of summoning the
next episode to my TV. And most of all
-- in a world where lots of fiction has to be gritty and dark in order to be “successful”
-- Smallville was there to remind us
that heroes are out there, and that ideals and justice aren’t just relics of
the past.
So what does any of
that have to do with The Walking Dead? Easy.
From what I’ve seen, and as I understand it, The Walking Dead and Smallville
have an uncanny number of parallels.
Sure, Smallville was about
Superman on the surface, but when you realize that Clark is gallivanting about
in a red and blue jacket contemplating his next action, you start to realize:
it’s not about Superman, but the journey to become Superman. The circumstances, decisions, and people
around Clark -- good and evil -- helped him develop, and pushed the story
towards a climax in which we finally see him take flight. I’d argue that, even based on a few episodes,
The Walking Dead is only tangentially
about zombies; it’s about the characters and how they respond to this
situation. Sticking together in the face
of adversity. Making choices for the
sake of morality, and the survival of the group. Overcoming one’s demons, past and present,
and securing their future. That’s
cool. I get that. And it’s stuff like that I want to see more
of.
Is that present in what
I’ve seen in the show? Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…kind
of. Again, blame continuity lockout, but
I’m having a hard time differentiating between characters (besides the obvious
labels of “black guy, Asian guy, old guy, woman, woman, etc.”). I know that Rick is one of the lead
characters and arguably the closes to “hero” you can get in this shades-of-gray
setup. I know that Glen is going up
against zombies even though he’s not necessarily a fighter, and has a crisis of
confidence that could spur some character development -- that’s cool, I respect
and appreciate that. I know that Hershel
is the southern-fried “leader” of the group on the farm, and a doctor, and
comparatively cynical to Rick; that’s all right. And then everyone else is just kind of…there. Like, I want to know these characters, but I
need more to work with. More
information. More of these people
responding to action. In a series where
there can be long periods of time where characters stand and talk to each other
-- again, just like Smallville -- I
think we can all agree that we need some exciting conflict between characters,
either from dialogue or OH GOD ZOMBIE ATTACK to keep things moving. Does TWD
offer that from what I’ve seen? Yeah…but…you
know.
More like Tariff Slick Limes, am I right? Please don't shoot me.
It annoys me that that’s
the most I can say about the show. Yeah…but…you
know. Like I can’t form an opinion
because I don’t have the full context. I
don’t want to say anything like “Yeah?
Well, Character X is an idiot because ____________,” because I don’t
have enough evidence to back it up. But
I can’t shake this niggling feeling that something is wrong here. Going back to the Smallvillian implementation
of action (where actual zombies/living enemies show up, in this case), It’s the
dialogue that matters most. But most of
it comes off to me as kind of gray.
These guys are arguing about something!
Yeah! Now these guys are gonna
argue! Okay! Now these two characters will say “What do we
do now?” All right! And then another few
characters will argue “It’s all over for us” or “It ain’t over yet!” Cool beans.
…I’d offer more
concrete examples, but I’m having a hard time remembering any.
What the hell is wrong
with me? Have I just been zoning
out? Have I not been paying
attention? Am I just biased because
there aren’t bright colors and Hadoukens zipping around? Is it my lack of investment in the
series? I’m usually on top of things
when it comes to analyzing and intuiting the cogs in a story; why am I drawing
a blank on this?
And then I read the
comments that other people -- professional and informal -- have written and I
get nervous. I read that “these people
are idiots” or “I don’t know who these people are” or “where are the zombies?” And unlike me, these are indeed people who’ve
stuck with the show for a lot longer.
They know, and understand, and judge based on hard evidence. Subjectivity is always at play, of course,
but…yeah…but…you know.
For example:
“This has to be the
stupidest cast of characters ever assembled on a major network show (or at
least on of them anyway). I was so pissed that they (Rick) decided to risk
their lives to save some dude, who just seconds earlier was trying to kill
them. Aside from the fact that they were getting swarmed and were almost killed
while trying to chop off his leg, they now have this bleeding stranger from
a rival group that they have to take care of. In terms of stupidity,
this is an extremely close number two to dangling Glenn in the well, which, so
far, was the stupidest thing these idiots have done.”
Or:
“I have no evidence the
TWD writers have thought out their characters beyond Robert Kirkman's initial
descriptions, because they haven't progressed far beyond them. Characters, like
T-Dog and Hershel's family other than Maggie, that never appeared in the comic,
seem barely conceived at all.”
And here’s a gem:
“When confronting each
other, its always the exact same surface level, variations on a bitching. Often
the only brief growth that The Walking Dead imbues within its characters is
through horror and violence. People don't change their minds through reasoning
with each other. Hard to call it a drama when, really, the dramatic elements
are nil. Rick is always going to be the guy that grits his teeth and whiney
huffs, "I'm just trying to do the right thing!" until some
action-based event comes along to knock him on his ass, then rinse and repeat.
As a result, they just never feel real, there is little human depth.”
You’ll forgive me for
being a bit…apprehensive. And I hope you’ll
forgive my impertinence, but I’m at a loss here. But in spite of that, in spite of my issues
with gritty, dramatic zombie-fests and less-than-glowing opinions about the
show, I’m going to stay positive. I’m “The
Eternal Optimist,” remember? I have a
feeling that, even if TWD has its
issues now, it’s only a matter of time before it becomes something even
better. Just as Net Lord O’Brien
suggested, it has this certain appeal to it, one more conductive than a
hyper-electromagnet constructed by Dr. Nightmare in his lair atop Mount
Disasterdeath. People are watching this
show for a reason: because it can be good.
And it will be good, I’d wager.
Smallville’s been off the air for a year now, I think. There’s been a hole in my life that I need to
fill; if I can’t have a superhero take care of the void, then I suppose I’ve no
choice but to turn to The Super Zombie
Power Hour. And true to its nature,
I’m willing to watch every episode so far if only to get a better understanding
of the show. If only to know,
decisively, whether or not I like this show.
Actually, now that I
think about it, there is one problem that I can comment on. In the show, the zombies are called “walkers.”
Why?
Why? WHY?!
CALL THEM ZOMBIES!
More like Mom's Bees, am I ri- *gets shot*
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