Hunt 4: Raw Deal
“I gotta hand it to Bigfoot,” Dante
said with a laugh --
“It’s Sasquatch,” Luke corrected.
“I gotta hand it to Bigfoot -- he may not have much in the
way of a fashion sense, riches, or taste in women, but damned if the guy
doesn’t know a thing or two about interior decorating.”
“But this place looks like a dirt
clod,” said Wade.
“Oh, right. I forgot I had an idiot in the audience.”
Wade had a point; the crags’
interior could use a bit of sprucing up.
Nothing but brown, scaly walls no matter where he looked -- and below
his feet, he felt not the comfy squish of a shag carpet, but a crunching mix of
dirt and gravel. To the Sasquatch’s
credit, though, there was plenty of room for the four of them to move around
in. They’d made it through the front
door into a spacious foyer, and following that they traveled down a gentle
slope. Several slopes, in fact.
It
almost feels like we’re walking down flights of stairs,
Luke thought. He turned his gaze upward;
sure enough, the front door had practically vanished thanks to the group
travelling downward. I know the Sasquatch is something special,
but --
“Guys?” RJ called out, sweeping his
flashlight about. “The exit…where
exactly did it go?”
“Why does it feel like we’re travelling deeper into the earth?” RJ
asked, with his trembling started anew.
“And this pathway of sorts, and the area around it -- don’t you think
there’s something off about its shape?”
“It kind of looks and feels like
we’re inside an ice cream cone,” said Dante, nodding sagely as if his little
observation solved all their problems.
“This place is hollow, but we’re pretty much walking around the walls’
edges.” He pointed to the center of the
structure. “And look -- the center’s
getting narrower the further down we go.”
“So if we get to the bottom, what
happens then?” Wade asked. “Is the
Sasquatch gonna be waiting for us?”
RJ quivered, his frenzy rising
thanks to Wade’s innocent question.
“W-we should focus on survival first and foremost,” he reminded the
group. “And you know what we need in
order to make that happen? An exit. Which brings me back to my earlier,
incredibly valid point as to where it went.”
Luke pulled a flashlight out of his
sack and started sweeping it around the higher points of the walls. Nothing but solid, layered rock; bit by bit
he could feel the same tension RJ did creep inside him, from his chilling toes
all the way up his neck. “We need to stay
calm,” he said, though his pitched-up voice said otherwise. “I have a plan, if you guys are up for it.”
“What, you want our permission
before you try to save our lives?” Dante asked snidely.
Luke ignored him. “How about this: let’s split into two
groups. RJ and I can head back up and
see if the exit’s still there -- like maybe some police officer just blocked it
off with something. While we check it
out, Dante and Wade can stay here -- close enough to keep an eye out for the
Sasquatch, but far enough to run if things get nasty.” He stared momentarily at the latter two; he knew
Dante could punch his way out of any fight, and only Wade had a chance of
rivaling the Sasquatch in raw power.
They could hold the line if needed.
But Dante just laughed sharply, and
waved a hand through the air. “What,
having second thoughts, o fearless leader?”
He crammed his hands in his pockets and leaned toward Luke. “This was your idea, and now you want to
bail? Not likely.”
“I just want to make sure everyone
can get out safely. That’s all.” Of course, Luke had had second, third, and
sixty-eighth thoughts since that morning alone, but he figured he should keep
that to himself.
“Typical.” Dante moved to the head of the group, hands
still tucked into his pockets, and his motions accented by a cocky
swagger. “Here’s my plan: the four of us
go down there and rush Bigfoot --”
“Sasqua-”
“We rush Bigfoot down. He may be tough, but there’s no way he’ll be
able to take down all four of us while we’re on the move. RJ, you can be the decoy.”
“What? Why me?!”
“Would you rather fight the big guy? ‘Cause I’m willing to let you; that’d be
worth a laugh or two.”
RJ bit his lip. “F-fine.
I’ll be the decoy.”
“Good. Now, I’m the fastest between the three of us,
and I can dodge anything that big ape can throw at me; with me and RJ throwing
him off his game, Luke and Wade can pummel him with their gear. That should lay him up, nice and easy -- just
enough to knock him out cold. Then we
drag him up to the exit, and have him bust us out of here with his
ape-strength.”
“Sounds like a good plan to me,”
said Wade with a grin. “I like the part
where I get to pummel the Sasquatch. Can
we do that now?”
“See? Wade’s on board.”
Wade pumped his arms up and
down. “I got all this bloodlust I need
to burn off -- just point me in the right direction, and I’ll start smashin’
away!”
“See? Wade’s…” Dante started to back away. “Got…uh, got some issues there.”
“Bloodlust!” Wade chanted. “The best kind of lust!”
Luke shot a quick glance at RJ, who
-- naturally -- shook his head in disapproval.
But what could he do? They’d
pretty much made an informal vote; even though it went two to two, Dante’s ego
and voice gave him just the extra half-person he needed to win most
arguments. And typically, Luke wasn’t in
much of a mood to get in a dispute with someone who once threatened to punch
out each member of the debate team.
“This is why we need another member
in our group,” RJ muttered, shaking his head.
“No sense in worrying about that
now,” said Luke. “Dante has a
point. We came here for the Sasquatch,
and we’re going to get a Sasquatch.
We’ll worry about the rest as it comes.”
“Fine, fine. I’m just glad I laid out a suit for my
grandpa to bury me in beforehand.” In
spite of his complaints, RJ walked a few paces behind Dante, but kept himself
sandwiched between the Red Beast and Wade.
Luke wasn’t far behind; he slid his baseball bat out of his pouch and
held it in his right hand, with his left still gripping his sweeping
flashlight.
“So when are we supposed to see
this Sasquatch guy?” Wade asked, his knuckles starting to whiten as he gripped
his shovel. “We’re pretty much near the
bottom already. What gives? Is he here or not?” He poked his head toward the ground
floor. “Or maybe he’s busy taking a
Sasquatch shower?”
“Why on earth would he…?” RJ
started.
But of course, Wade already had an
answer. “Dude’s gotta get dirty digging
his own house and all that. Plus this
place is underground, right? You don’t
think he’s got anything against pipes, do ya?”
RJ covered his mouth, pondering
Wade’s (ridiculous, but par for the course) line of reasoning. “True enough.
When those crags first appeared a few months ago, Two Sparrows had
plenty of issues with plumbing. But
then, suddenly, they cleared up.”
“Plumbers work fast when they need
to -- or if the price is right,” Dante offered.
“No, that’s not it.” RJ’s brow started to furrow, and his fingers
dug into the sides of his face. “The
plumbing, the phone lines, the foundation, the cables -- everything that you’d
expect to be underground was no doubt ruined thanks to the crags popping
up. But before any crews could work to
fix it, the problems cleared up practically overnight. Untouched by any worker. Undone without any noticeable change in the
area -- sans the crags, of course.”
“Well if the Sasquatch broke all
that stuff, maybe he fixed it,” said Wade.
He glanced at Luke, eyebrows raised.
“Maybe it’s like Luke says -- you shouldn’t underestimate a Sasquatch.” Luke nodded in agreement, his eyes
brightening at the prospect of the man-ape’s potential brilliance.
“And where would he get the
material for that?”
“He made it out of rocks,
obviously. Jeez, RJ. I thought you were supposed to be the smart
one.” RJ let loose a scornful groan,
while Wade just started guffawing away.
Dante cast an eye over his
shoulder. “So bottom line is that you
don’t think our hairy host is responsible for all this. I can buy that. I don’t care what the internet says, Luke;
you gotta admit, it seems a little far-fetched to think that a big ape can do a
little landscaping above AND below ground.”
He rotated his neck. “But then
again, what do I know? I’m in a cave
looking for Bigfoot.”
Luke didn’t bother correcting him
this time -- besides, he and RJ had a good point. Sure, Luke had his doubts the moment he walked
through the doorway, but things just kept looking worse and worse for their
Sasquatch search. And that could only
sour their luck down the line.
“So if the Sasquatch isn’t the one
who made this place…who did?” Wade thought aloud.
RJ moaned softly. Dante just kept rotating his neck, deciding
not to speak for once. Luke pressed his
lips together; as much as he wanted to reassure his friends, he doubted he
could have said anything to help at this point.
“Maybe it was aliens?” Wade asked,
breaking the silence. “They do weird
shit all the time, I bet. Or maybe the
Sasquatch is an alien, and he really is some kind of genius.”
Dante shook his head. “No sense in trying to guess any longer,
guys.” He pointed ahead -- the ground
floor now sat level with their feet.
“You want answers? If we’re gonna
find ‘em, they’ll be right here.”
Not that Luke and the others needed
a reminder. The key to this little
mystery was right in front of them. But
unfortunately, it wasn’t a Sasquatch. It
wasn’t even Bigfoot.
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