Okay, so I know I already did a couple of posts a few months back explaining that I still like Kingdom Hearts despite everything. I mostly stand by what I said back then. But, well, that was months ago. This is now. So let’s get into it again.
*sigh* Friggin’ Squeenix, man.
I should start this by saying that I haven’t forgotten about my endeavor to write about Dream Drop Distance. I pretty much have to, because otherwise I won’t be able to talk about 0.2. Well, I could anyway, but sometimes you have to know where you’ve been in order to know where you’re going. By the same token? I haven’t forgotten that I was working on a hypothetical version of KHIII, wherein Sora and crew visit a world based on A Goofy Movie. I should go back to that at some point, given that my proposal included a rival battle with Goofy on par with Vergil from Devil May Cry 3. Sans Summoned Swords.
There’s a specific reason why I held back on talking about KH3D. For one reason or another, a decent amount of time passed between me finishing the game and me getting ready to write about it. And you know what happens, right? Yep. Time passes, details are forgotten, nuances left by the wayside. It’s something I wanted to avoid, so I decided it would be best if I get a refresher. Review the tapes, and such. So I decided to wait until the Rising Superstream -- spearheaded by the Rising Superstar, Liam -- finished his run of the game. That took longer than expected, given that he was still several games behind me (and got bronchitis at one point), but now it’s done.
And now I’m sad and mad -- because having “reviewed the tapes”, I’m somehow even more confused than I was before. And this is with other people, including fans in the stream archives, doing their best to parse through what the hell just happened.
I’ve been trying, though. Oh, have I been trying. Outside of some minor references and hints, I managed to dodge the spoilers related to KH3D -- which I played for the very first time a few months ago -- and the trajectory of the canon’s plot as a result. I knew going in that time travel was involved in some capacity, but I was willing to live and let live. Then the game happened. And it’s like…you know what I realized? Originally, KH3D came out in 2012, meaning that both its development and release were a part of that era of Squeenix’s history and output. Yes, the canon progressed (however slightly) in an age where the company was A) trying to scrape up cash to balance the failure of vanilla FF14, and B) pushing the so-called Lightning Saga (HRRRRRRGKH) even though it was likely never intended to be a saga in the first place, but whatever. Mismanagement, ho.
Is it a coincidence that both FF13-2 -- which I still consider to be the worst game I’ve ever played -- and KH3D have time travel woven into their plots? Probably. And it’s probably a coincidence that both games botch their time travel. And it’s probably a coincidence that both games have crappy villains. And it’s probably a coincidence that both games just barely push the needle forward in terms of plot progression. And it’s probably a coincidence that both games have other, glaring story problems. And it’s probably a coincidence that both games have other, glaring gameplay problems.
Yep. It’s all just a bunch of coincidences. No need to point fingers.
At the end of the day, though, KH3D still ends up being decent. But only just. And to be clear, it’s saved purely by the gameplay -- button-mashing fun that puts in the effort to let you play your way with an abundance of tools. (Probably an excess of tools, given how broken the Balloon spells are, but whatever.) With that said, I have no intentions to play it again anytime soon, not even to beat the optional boss. I’m fine with it staying in its case while I play Enter the Gungeon or Marvel’s Spider-Man (don’t forget the hyphen between Spider and Man). Its purpose has been served.
As of right now, though, I’m willing to call the story of KH3D a disaster. Somehow, the devs have regressed in terms of storytelling ability over the years. KHI had its problems, certainly, but it still held together overall and could at worst pretend to be competent. Then you get to KHII, and by and large, only the first 3 hours, the middle, and the last 3 hours matter. Then you get to BBS, and it’s basically the first hour (repeated thrice vis a vis the 3 leads), the middle, and the last hour-ish for each character, plus the “last story”. Then you get to 3D, and now it’s just down to the last…I want to say 3 hours, but it sure doesn’t feel like it.
alsofuckthisguy
Watching the Rising Superstream archives just reinforces how much KH has botched its narrative -- which wouldn’t be as big a problem if it was, say, a fighting game. But we’re talking about a long-running JRPG franchise, which almost by definition is dependent on, and should be judged by, the quality of its story. So seeing Liam (someone who only just started seriously playing the KH games) justifiably react with confusion and derision at multiple points throughout this franchise really shines a spotlight on the debacle.
There are actual time stamps -- laser-targeted moments across his stream archives -- where you’ll either see his mind break, watch his expression sour, or simply marvel at how he cuts through the nonsense onscreen with questions the devs clearly didn’t (or couldn’t) answer. Case in point: I knew it was coming -- and waited for it more intensely than the average episode of My Hero Academia -- but he lost his shit exactly where I thought he would in 3D…mostly because that’s where I lost my shit.
Spoilers, I guess. Also, NSFYS -- Not Safe for Your Sanity.
I hate everything about the Recusant’s Sigil. I hate everything about Young Xehanort. I hate everything about the time travel. I hate everything about the plan to make thirteen Xehanorts. I have everything about how everything goes just according to keikaku, even though the keikaku makes no sense whatsoever and relies on sheer coincidences and the idiocy of everyone involved.
Maybe I would enjoy it -- any of it -- more if it was properly integrated into the story. You know, instead of cramming everything into the last few hours, find ways to weave it into the narrative. Into events that are happening at that moment. Into the other 90% of the game. But no. Can’t have that. So that leads into one of the franchise’s increasing problems: the games keep progressively introducing new elements and concepts, yet instead of using each new game to explore them in full, they’re introduced and then shuffled off to the side for a later date. If at all.
Pop quiz: are the “Chasers” a dropped story element, an interpretation of the BBS trio’s roles, or a mistranslation of another story element?
It’s going to take some…effort…to explain why I feel the way I do about the Recusant’s Sigil and the like. For now, though, I can say this much: at a base level, the Sigil lets the baddies track Sora’s movement across the universe. Throughout the game, they appear before him, no doubt as a way to test/show off that power. What do they do with it, you ask? The answer is nothing. Nothing of interest comes from it. Young Xehanort, Ansem SoD, and Xemnas zip around at their leisure, but do nothing besides speak in smug, dense, incomprehensible babble at Sora. Multiple scenes have villain entrance -> shocked reaction by our hero -> taunt/rant/babble -> hero’s confusion -> villain exit -> hero’s continued confusion -> story resumes unimpeded.
It’s some infuriating bullshit, and I can’t handle it. It reached a point where, whenever Young Xehanort showed up onscreen -- in my playthrough or the stream archives -- I’d turn away in disgust, groan, and internally say “Oh God, here we go.” I’d like the Sigil more if it was used in any meaningful way, but it isn’t. Ever.
If anything, its presence is actually kind of pointless; if the plan involves Sora traversing a finite number of worlds on a set path -- one seemingly preset by the baddies -- why even bother tracking his location? Isn’t it inevitable that he’ll come to you? And sure, maybe that’s the whole point behind it, but then why act like this is such a major revelation?
Probably because, apparently, the Recusant’s Sigil has been appearing throughout all of KH, from the names of characters to the clothes they wear. So every time there’s been an X, that’s been a Recusant’s Sigil. I…think? So that means Sora’s shoes and Riku’s top in KHI were Sigils? Was the X in Sora’s belts in KHII a Sigil? Does that mean that the BBS trio wore Sigils, even though there’s no reason why their supposed uniforms would feature it? And how do you track people by the letters in their names? How is the Sigil formed? Is it an offshoot of the χ-Blade, even though that uses a Greek letter? How did Xehanort even figure out how to use the Sigil? How? When? Why? Why? Just…why?
Squidward, you wanna take this one?
I really want to know what the fuck happened to Squeenix. I mean, besides the box office failure of FF: The Spirits Within, the departure of its former champions, the merger of two on-the-ropes companies, the desperate attempts to refill the proverbial war chest, the obsessive focus on graphics and engines no matter how obsolete they would become, the over-reliance on employees with no business taking control of major franchises --
*deep breath*
-- the baiting of new franchises years before they even properly enter development, the developmental failures of major releases, the lack of directorial vision, the desperate attempts to refill the proverbial war chest (act two), the overlong development cycles that either break employees or lead to decisively under-cooked products, the behind-the-scenes melodrama the public will likely never hear about barring some corporate sabotage or stunning exposé (leaked or otherwise), the…
Huh. Actually, I think I answered my own question.
How do you tell a story like this? It goes beyond just lacking talent; it speaks to an utter inability to perceive anything about the stories around you, of which there are many. 3D, BBS, Days, and KHII have all struggled for myriad reasons, with one of the chief ones being that the devs don’t understand how to move a plot forward. Pro tip: a story is more than just plot twists and character reveals. At least, it should be. But here I am with 3D played and reviewed, and one of its “twists” is dependent on the faultiness and lack of explanation of its setup. Which, to be clear, is a roundabout way of saying that the bad writing is integral to the plot.
Prior to playing the game, I thought that Sora and Riku taking the Mark of Mastery test just had them going to sleep in the back room of Yen Sid’s tower. I was still under that impression for most of the game, what with them visiting the “Sleeping Worlds”, thus implying a different means of travel. But because it’s never properly explained or shown at the start, it’s impossible to understand or appreciate the plot twist -- it was The Organization all along! -- without massively displacing the suspension of disbelief. Or a lobotomy.
So I’ll be real with you here. Like I said, I held off on the KH3D post(s) because I wanted a refresher course. What’s the excuse with the KHIII X A Goofy Movie finale? You know, besides laziness? The answer to that because as exciting as it was to come up with a hypothetical scenario, it was, and still is, downright depressing. Depressing because it helped expose, if not remind me of, the fact that the KH series has consistently let down the Disney canon. Depressing because some idiot with an increasingly-aged PC can come up with a better story despite a decisive lack of millions of dollars. Depressing because an attempt was made to make a Disney world more than just a cheap rehash of the movie it draws inspiration from -- more than just a by-the-numbers, token effort.
It would be my dream to have a KHIII world feature as much emotional depth and narrative progression as I envisioned -- which is exactly why I don’t want to see that in KHIII. If by some miracle the Squeenix crew caught wind of my scenario and copied it wholesale, then it would introduce a level of complexity that, for the most part, has been missing over the course of nearly 20 years. Having something strive to reach a higher level would potentially, if not ultimately, highlight just how much the canon has failed to elevate. It would retroactively shame and ruin massive chunks of the franchise.
It should go without saying, but…well, you read the title, right? Kingdom Hearts makes me sad. And mad.
And right now, I’m worried the next entry is going to make me a whole lot sadder. And madder.
See you next time.
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