Prometheus: Because Aliens Need Love, Too (Part 2)

You know, I’m actually kind of glad I split this rant into two parts.

Biased and unprofessional as it may sound, I think I’m reaching a bit too much with this movie.  That is, I want it to be one thing and try to pull it in that direction, but the movie’s trying to move in the opposite direction (by way of its creators and its intent).  It’s reached a point where a part of me wishes Prometheus was actually two movies.  One of them could be this journey to a mysterious planet, asking not only for an exploration of the harsh environment, but also the themes and ideas at large.  The other movie could be the gruesome, freaky, kill-everyone-but-a-chosen-few horror film worthy of being a part of the Alien canon.

I’m not so brazen as to claim that the movie’s got a case of an identity crisis, especially since the most I know about the franchise at large is from about thirty minutes of viewing time from each movie put together (and fifteen of those minutes are from Alien Resurrection).  If others feel that way, then that’s fine with me.  I won’t knock them for it.  But given that this is a highly-subjective topic, I will say this:

Why?  Just…why?

(In case you’re just joining us, this post is absolutely filthy with spoilers.  If you’re opposed to getting down and dirty with them, I suggest you bail out now.  I wouldn't want you ruining your Wednesday best on my account.)

Prometheus: Because Aliens Need Love, Too (Part 1)

So there I was in the theater, with nothing standing between me and Prometheus but a slew of previews.  I’d avoided thinking about it in the weeks up to its release, but over the past few days I’d started gathering information and glancing at a few reviews.  While spoilers never deterred me before, for one I decided that I’d hold off.  I’d see the movie regardless of reviews, and regardless of hype; I’d see it, and watch it based on its own merits.

So I sat there, worried yet hoping for the best.  As I shifted in my seat, my brother leaned to his right and started chatting with his pal.  See, I’d skipped out on movie outings before with the pair because I don’t like horror movies.  Me being the youngest of the trio (and both of them having been around during my Little League years), I tend to take flak pretty often, on this subject most of all.  “This movie might get a little too scary for him,” my brother chided, nudging me in the arm.

“I don’t like horror movies because I think they’re scary,” I said calmly.  “I don’t like horror movies because I think they’re stupid.”  And I meant it.  Maybe I’ve just been exposed to the wrong films, but I’ve never found any merit in them.  In my eyes, they’re often just venues for A) jump scares, B) gross-out spectacle, C) killing off characters that the movie doesn’t even pretend are important, and D) a liberal application of uncovered lady parts.  But in spite of all that, I believed Prometheus would bring something awe-inspiring and thoughtful to the table -- something to make me believe that it wasn’t a franchise built on chest-bursting nasties.  I’ve been wrong before on movies; I wanted to be wrong again, and walk out thinking that Prometheus was worth it.

In retrospect, I probably should have lowered my expectations.

(Spoilers by the barge-load to follow, along with a slurry of highly opinionated opinions.  You’ve been warned.)

Prometheus…But First, Charts!

Confession time: I’m not all that familiar with the franchise.  Yeah, yeah, I know -- how can I call myself a man if I only remember the bare details about one of the most famous intellectual properties ever to grace the medium?  Well, you know me.  My expertise lies in video games; while I certainly have gaps in that medium as well (partly because I was a Genesis kid in the great console wars of the nineties), I’ll admit I fare better with those than with things like this.

That said, I try to expose myself to stories no matter what form they appear in, or what kind of story they have to tell.  For example, even though I’m not a fan of horror, I’ll still give it a shot…assuming that someone forces me to watch it.  Granted, every time I try to expose myself to horror I end up disappointed or left with a headache, but I just figured that I’m missing the GOOD bits in exchange for the bad.

And you know what?  After last night, I’m starting to see the appeal.  Not just of the genre, but the franchise as a whole.  It’s genuinely good!  Full of mysteries!  And I’ll be honest:  it had me laughing the entire time!  In fact -- against my better judgment and theater etiquette -- I managed to record some footage on my cell phone.  Have a look.

...I got that wrong somehow, didn’t I?