You're Looking at...

...2012-2912's Game of the Year.  After that...eh, I'd give it to Super Mario KD-0079.  Let's cooperate!

Number Munchers

So let me tell you about this game 999: Nine Hours, Nine Persons, Nine Doors.

(equips Hat of Infinite Gushing)

Dude, this game is straight-up dope!  Like you wouldn't believe, man!  It's like, have you ever seen any of the Saw movies?  Well imagine that, but -- get this -- on a boat!  A damn boat, dude!  And there are these nine guys who get forced to play a game with math and puzzles and huge 80s wristwatches and the Titanic, and they've all got bombs in their stomach and they'll all go BOOM if they don't play right!  And if they don't get off the boat in nine hours, that boat'll be all like, "Dude, I'm so outta this piece," and it'll go straight to the bottom of the ocean!  Weak!  So you gotta scan in your watch and go in a door and do puzzles and find digital roots, and -- dude, did I tell you already?  It's just so damn legit, dude.  Like you don't even KNOW.

(unequips Hat of Infinite Gushing, uses Hi-Potion to heal ruptured brain cells)

Oh, I'm gonna be feeling that one for the next seventeen years...but enough of that.  Now, I'll be the first to admit that I haven't seen any of the movies in the Saw franchise, and I have no intention to; even so, I'm pretty confident that 999 is several dozen times better than all the movies put together.  But before I get ahead of myself, I should probably start by saying it's not really much of a game; yeah, it's a DS cartridge that you plug into your Nintendo DS, and if you press buttons things go bloop-bloop-bloop and deetly-deetly, but anyone looking for bombastic action or explosive output for each input had best look elsewhere.

Fans of Marty McFly's fashion sense are quite welcome, however.