I’ve entertained the
thought a couple of times. I used to
play the violin, and my mom taught me how to play the piano (and by “taught” I
mean “gave me a lesson and I never bothered to ask for another one”), so I know
a little bit about music. And as a
writer, I’d say I’d fare a bit better than if I were the one singing. What is a song but a poem set to music -- an
assembly of lyrics with meaning, rhythm, and a catchy chorus that’ll likely be
the only part of a song somebody remembers?
In theory, it seems entirely possible.
In practice? Who’s to say, really? Lyrics and music are a package deal, I’d
wager. Give me a tune, and I can
probably put lyrics to it (I’ve done it before, back in the days of Cross-Up’s
infancy), but a full-on song? Well…maybe
I could swing a couple of tunes, but they’d likely be pretty cheesy. And while I have some MIDI software, it has
gone untouched on the grounds that it’s “really hard” and/or “too much
work.” And if you asked me to make a
song out of the blue with zero preparation beforehand, I guarantee you a song
so clumsy and atonal that it’d make Urkel sound like an angelic chorus.
Which brings me to the
latest addition to The Manly Song Repository.
Because you see, I’ve learned something today:
A real man can make his
own song, no matter what it takes.
Band: DVDA
Artists: Trey Parker, Matt Stone, Bruce Howell, D.A. Young, Nels
Dielman
Year: 1997
Song recommended by: Konstantine Paradias of shapescapes
Two words: prepare
yourself.
I’d expect no less from
the minds behind South Park -- though
I have to admit, I’m surprised they actually have a band to their productions’
name. Guess you learn something new
every day.
Anyway, the song. The last two songs to appear on this segment
were different, but held certain characteristics in mind: they were
inspiring. They asked listeners to take
the words to heart, and become hardier, fiercer warriors in pursuit of their
dreams. They were both tied to Disney
movies. But with this song, things are a whole lot different. It’s comedic; at a glance -- or listen, as it
were -- it’s not so much about inspiring people as satirizing the concept of
those songs. You know the type -- the
kind of song you’d hear from an eighties movie, rousing the hero so he can face
his greatest challenge. (Incidentally,
it’s a topic the South Park masterminds
have tackled before with their song “Montage.”)
But here’s the thing
about their satire -- the song, and South
Park as a whole. Parker and Stone
and all their cohorts know what they’re doing, otherwise the show wouldn’t have
lasted for as long as it has. It may
poke fun, and it may satirize, and it may parody, and it may wear a poop- and
swear-laden veneer, but writing comedy requires a certain refinement of
intelligence. There’s logic to it. There’s a rhythm, and flow. It’s unpredictable, but no joke or setup or
payoff is without purpose. There are
principles learned through comedy that can carry over into other realms of
creativity -- and as such, Parker and Stone are the dynamic duo they are today.
So at a base level,
“Now You’re a Man” sounds utterly ridiculous -- a gag song, and nothing
more. But give it another listen, and
you start to understand the quiet genius, the true intention behind the song.
The underlying theme of the song is “primal force”; it’s very direct in
its attempts to entertain and satirize, as you’d expect from lyrics emphasizing
the importance of female secondary sexual characteristics. But think carefully about what’s being said
here: a number of questions that asks what it means to be a man. While the first verse gives you the drive to
strike out and make your way in the world, the song actually doesn’t offer much
in the way of answers. Why? The obvious answer would be that “Now You’re
a Man” doesn’t want to give you -- a man in the making -- the answers you
want. Because really, how manly can you
be if someone gives you the answer on a diamond-laced platter with a side of
Red Lobster’s cheddar biscuits?
In exchange for the
answers, you have more than two dozen repetitions of the word “man”…at least,
in some capacity. I can think of a
number of reasons why they’d go that route:
1) They’re making fun
of you. “Oh, so you want us to tell you
how to be a man?” the song asks, waving a finger at you. “Figure it out on your own, you ‘manly man’
you!”
2) They’re showing off
that “primal force” I mentioned earlier.
Nothing is more important than being a man, and as such they’re eager to
drill it into your head as forcefully as possible. Likewise, the eventual breakdown of “man”
into permutations like “manny manny man” and “ma-YON” suggests that the power
has overwhelmed the singers -- a testament that reveals even speaking of
manliness for too long can overwhelm one’s sensibilities. And yet, that’s something to aspire to.
3) They’re purposefully
breaking down the lyrics to create that rough-and-tumble sense for the song. Remember in the intro when I mentioned that
I’d crash and burn if I had to make a song on the spot? Well, this sounds like the kind of song I’d
make if need be -- rather than go for meaning and depth, I’d opt for humor and
a few quick laughs. DVDA creates the
same effect, and because of it show that it’s fine to act without days of
preparation beforehand; after all, sometimes a man has to leap before he looks. Sometimes that wild, unexpected nature is
more potent than a calculated attack; it certainly helps put on a show.
4) They’re just trying
to make you laugh -- and there’s nothing wrong with that. After all, what is a man if not a multitude
of powerful emotions? Surely any person
alive enjoys a multitude of emotions; surely they WANT to experience those
emotions whenever and however they can.
And “Now You’re a Man” is there to provide -- to put a smile on your
face, and teach you that laughter can be as mighty a tool as Gungnir, the spear
that never misses. To unleash one’s
primal force, and use it as propulsion to the highest echelons of human
potential…that’s what it means to be a man -- and precisely what this song
wants to teach.
And to that end, I have
this to say about “Now You’re a Man”:
That’ll do it for now,
gang. See you around, same man-time,
same man-channel. And be sure to check out shapescapes for more brilliant manly analysis
of everything you love (i.e. comic books and theoretical battles between
super-beings).
Do you have a manly song to recommend?
Then you, too, can have your suggestion turned into a full-fledged
post! Just leave a comment naming a song
(limit one song per comment), and your song will be analyzed -- and if you have
a blog or other net-haven, you’ll be suitably honored. So get to it; feel the rush of testosterone,
and help make THE MANLIEST PLAYLIST IN
THE UNIVERSE!