Soulcalibur 5: Thus Spoke Cervantes

I've played my fair share of fighting games this console generation…which is to say, almost all of them.  I’m nothing special in terms of skill; at the very least, I’m not one of those “Flowchart Kens” you hear so much about.  Even so, going up against an enemy that can turn me into sauerkraut is pretty much an average Wednesday for me -- to the point where I don’t even flinch at the thought of hitting Continue against the average “SNK Boss.”  You know the type.  A ridiculous damage and defense boost.  Insane speed and virtual clairvoyance.  Often, a screen-filling super move.  Or just moves that make you want to slam your head against every wall in your house.

I’ve taken on and beaten plenty of ‘em.  King of Fighters XI’s Magaki?  Your fireballs won’t stop me forever.  Street Fighter 4’s Seth?  Eat a Flash Kick.  Tekken 5’s Jinpachi?  Miraculously, defeating him is as easy as using a jump kick over and over -- a universal move that the transformed Mishima can’t help but take every time he gets up from the last hit.

But then, something happened.  It was a fateful night in Soulcalibur 5 -- a story for the ages.  Now, if you’ll allow me to invoke the muses…

A Hunka Hunka Burnin’ Soul

Meh.  Needs more swords.

Sometimes my brother makes bad decisions when it comes to buying games.  Very bad decisions -- like buying every new installment/spinoff of the Dynasty Warriors series in spite of the soft-ban I’ve placed.  Or maybe he’ll go out of his way to buy a fighting game -- one that he’s already traded in -- with the intent of having it replace his addiction hobby of Street Fighter 4 and Marvel vs. Capcom 3…only to play it about three times and let it decay within a CD case.

But there are times when he does well.  And buying Soulcalibur 5 is one of those times.