I don’t think I’ve had
an existential crisis this bad since I watched Transformers: Dark of the Moon and legitimately wanted to bash my
head against something until everything went black.
Just thought I’d throw
that out there to set the tone.
So. Lightning
Returns: Final Fantasy 13 has been on store shelves and ready for purchase
and digestion by gamers all over the states for months now. And frankly, I’m ecstatic -- not about the
game, of course. At long last, this
so-called, ill-advised, and poorly-executed (in my humble opinion, of course) “Lightning
Saga” has come to an end. For the
foreseeable future, at least; I get the feeling this isn’t the last we’ll be
seeing of Miss Farron, even beyond an appearance in a hypothetical third Dissidia game. It’s safe to assume she’ll be popping up in
the new Kingdom Hearts. I’m really looking forward to seeing the
ever-energetic Sora talking to someone who has to struggle to show an emotion.
But like I said, I’m
ecstatic. I’m happy. FF13 was
the game that “broke” the franchise for me -- a game so bad that it makes Transformers look good. (At least they have the good grace to end in
three hours or less; FF13 made empty
promises of getting good eventually,
asking players to tough it out for about twenty hours.) And as if that wasn’t bad enough, FF13-2 was significantly worse; I not
only consider it the WORST game I’ve ever played, but so unbelievably bad that
it makes vanilla 13 look good. That level of failure is like going up to
18.0 on the Richter scale. But hey. It’s over, right?
And that just brings up
a new problem. The Lightning Saga is
coming to an end in terms of production.
But in terms of this story? In
terms of this one-sided rivalry of mine?
It’s not over.
Lightning’s calling me
out. Calling me to the ultimate ring.
I’m going to go ahead
and assume you’re at least vaguely familiar with my work. If you’re not, then I’ll be brief. I can and have written multiple posts
dissecting the previous two games in this so-called Lightning Saga. I’ve used my unreasonably large head to
reason and argue that Squeenix’s golden girl is (by way of incompetent writing
and blind glorification) actually the villain of her saga, and more likely to
destroy her world instead of save it…or if not that, then at least be
responsible for everything that’s gone
wrong with the saga. Simply put, if
there was no Lightning, there would be no conflict. Period.
I have a hard time
supporting or even liking a game if its main character is complete
garbage. But that’s precisely what
Lightning is to me -- and even if she wasn’t in the “Saga”, that would still
leave two games with barely-there gameplay, a world that might as well be
painted on, a story that the common ostrich would call stupid, and a level of
gravitas that makes the “serious” tale that much sillier, and threatens to
strangle the player with hands that would make Hellboy feel inadequate. If I was ever going to play the betrayal
card, it would be for these games -- and merely the fact that a third game has seen release makes me want to choke on my rage and stocked-up
hot dogs.
But I know how this
goes. In fact, I’m only making this post
-- or editing and posting it, since it’s been on the backburner for months --
because my brother brought it up in a conversation. He asked me if he should get Transistor (a game that’s not without
flaws, but still MUCH appreciated), or snag Lightning
Returns thanks to a once-in-a-blue-moon sale by Squeenix. You can guess which I pushed him towards, but
he made it very clear that he’s GOING to get the game someday once there’s a
high enough price drop. That’s no
threat. That’ a promise. It’s the same type that led to him grabbing 13-2 -- and his intent, without
question, is to see me suffer through the Saga anew. Because he wants revenge for that one time I tainted his shake with
mayonnaise and pickle juice as per the greatest April Fool’s Day ever.
He wants me to see it
through to the end. And now there’s a
part of me that wants to do the same.
I haven’t beaten a
single game in this “Saga” yet, but not for lack of trying; I threw up my hands
when dealing with the last boss of vanilla 13
(random chance that he’ll instantly kill my leader and force a Game Over? Do not want), and it took all of my willpower
to keep myself from taking a jackhammer to 13-2
when it expected me to do a time-wasting fetch quest after suffering through a
cockamamie subplot -- which paradoxically might have gotten more attention in
the story than the main plot. So on one
level, clearing LR is a chance to
reclaim my honor, and reassert my pride as a gamer.
Setting matters of
pride (the greatest sin of all!) aside, I can’t shake the feeling that how I
approach LR could say certain things
about my character -- as a gamer or otherwise.
I’ve been burned twice by this “Saga”, and badly. But the Final
Fantasy brand used to mean something to me.
FF10 was a fun little romp
that, while certainly not perfect, is still something I don’t mind admitting I
like. I spent many more hours than I
should have creating an unbeatable task force in FF8, and got a kick out of the proceedings that followed. FF7 was
my first, and in a lot of ways it opened my mind -- not just to the potential
of video games, but the possibility of one day dreaming up my own tales of
heroes. I’m no die-hard fan, but I don’t
have to be. The series already had its
effect on me.
With this howling hydra
that Squeenix calls The Lightning Saga well in our midst, I have to admit
(again) that I’ve decided to sever ties to the franchise that once inspired me,
and once counted on. But it’s not
something I did with ease. In fact, even
now I feel kind of guilty about making such a bold declaration. “Is it really okay to turn my back on them?”
I asked myself. “What if they turn it
around with the next game?” I wondered.
“Can I really call myself fair and just if I heap on the hate?” I thought.
Indeed, hating a game that I never even touch would make me the worst
sort of person -- something very near one of the fabled and reviled “nostalgiatards”
that dwell in the annals of darkness.
And as you can guess, I
have a personal stake in the matter. If
the hydra really is coming my way, I have my doubts that I can just turn my
back on it. Call it perversion if you
will, because it’s probably something very close to it. I have
to know how the story ends; if I didn’t, I would have spoiled the ending
for myself a long time ago. Moreover, I
need to know about the events leading up to it; 13-2’s ending may be infamous, but the “journey” there (and the
dreaded subplot therein) is more telling than ten thousand evidence
lockers. But beyond that, I want to
believe that there’s still a tiny glimmer of hope, some minute fragment that
makes the “Saga” worthwhile. I want to
play the game, and by some miracle have it offer something substantial to
me. Something that’ll put my mind at
ease, and heal the scars left by its gnashing heads.
I don’t want to be
afraid to play another Final Fantasy game. But the fact that I feel that way in the
first place has me worried.
I’m beginning to think
that my instincts are a lot better than I give myself credit for. I was worried about DmC, and you just have to spot the tactical omission of the
subtitle to know how I feel about that.
I had my suspicions about Beyond:
Two Souls, and wouldn’t you know it, everything that I suspected would be a
problem became a problem. And when I was
wrong, I was wrong in the worst way possible; The Last of Us went past just being a not-quite-worthy GOTY
contender and became something not-even-mediocre, popular opinion be
damned. So is there a chance that Lightning’s Last Hurrah will give me
what I’m looking for in a game?
Yes. Will it deliver? Sign after sign after sign seems to suggest
that I should stay the hell away, to
the point where I’m afraid the demo alone will scare me off.
Like I said, I’m not a
die-hard FF fan. But isn’t this the exact same thought process
thousands of other gamers have gone through?
Haven’t they been burned by a FF game
in the past, but bought the next one anyway because there’s a chance the new one will recapture the
magic? What kind of message would I be
sending if I gave Squeenix the satisfaction in knowing that I played one of
their post-Sakaguchi games? What kind of
standard would I be setting for myself if I caved after saying “No more Final Fantasy” and played the sequel to
a game that was effectively the cringe-worthy Apology Edition to a game that
made me want to cry tears of blood?
Wouldn’t caving in make me part of the problem, and not the solution?
And beyond all that, I
have my doubts I’d be playing the game for the right reasons. I can tell you right now that I’m not the
type who buys into the “turn your brain off” practice of entertainment; if you
have to turn your brain off to enjoy something, then the story doesn’t deserve
to be enjoyed. So whether the game is
good or bad, I expect that if I play it (or rage-quit and watch the rest
through an LP, as I did with 13-2),
I’ll likely be posting my needlessly in-depth thoughts of it across the
internet.
And frankly, I wonder
if that’s the only reason I’m
interested in the game. Do I want to
play it because I want closure on multiple levels? Do I want to play it so I can put another
notch on my gamer belt? Do I want to
play it just so I can revel smugly over how bad the game is, or how bad the
franchise has gotten? Do I want to play
it just so I can have something to complain about, or prove that I’m right? Do I have any intention of engaging with the
game on its terms -- as a game designed to be rewarding in some form -- or just
as proof that the joke’s still being told by Squeenix?
…It’s very possible
that I’m over-thinking this. I do that
sometimes.
Let’s be real
here. The days when Final Fantasy and its creators -- Squaresoft, Square-Enix or
otherwise -- ruled the roost have long since past. If I want a consistently-good franchise, I
have the Tales Series. If I want a depressingly-rare but
oh-so-satisfying release, I’ve got Atlus.
If I want one-off games that come out of nowhere but hit like Muhammad
Ali with rocket boosters in his gloves, I’ve got Lost Odyssey, Xenoblade Chronicles, and Ni no Kuni. And those are
just the JRPGs. I have a feeling that
Squeenix thinks it’s done something revolutionary by making a FF game that’s action-oriented -- and as such, I have a feeling that their
vision is being distorted by the vacuum they make their games in.
I don’t think I’m going
to lose any sleep over another bad FF game. Nor
will that be the case if (or when) I swear off the series for real, despite its
best efforts to pull me back in. But in
order to bring this story to an end, I have to drop down into the coal mines
one last time -- to go deep into the bowels of the earth, and say goodbye to
the stars above. The question is, do I
have the willpower for it? Do I have the
justified reasons to give it one more shot?
Do I have the courage to ride with the devil?
…Kamen Rider W reference. Yes.
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I’m going to go ahead
and assume that there’s no clear-cut answer to all of these questions, so I’ll
clam up here. And I’ll let you all weigh
in on the subject. Should I take the
plunge? How should I approach this game? Is anyone else struggling with the
decision? Ever felt the same way? By all means, go on and chat it up in the
comments.
As for me? Well, let me say this to start: I’m not going
to play Lightning Returns for a
while. Because there’s something else
that’s calling me into the ring.
Guys? There’s a chance -- a slight, but
ever-increasing chance -- that this might be one of the worst games I’ve ever
played.
So much so that I had
to ease the sting with a Kamen Rider
Den-O reference.
Ah, good ol’ Deneb. Such a cool guy. He's got gun fingers -- ain't nobody beatin' that.