RE: Final Fantasy VII Remake

So it’s been about two weeks since I finished Final Fantasy VII Remake.  Guess I’d better commit my thoughts to digital paper, huh?

Here’s the burning question, asked (metaphorically) to someone with a reputation for slamming modern Final Fantasy games: what do I think of it?  Is it good?

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…

So I’ve been playing Final Fantasy VII Remake.

Actually, let me rephrase that.  I’ve been playing Final Fantasy VII Remake, so much so that (I assume) the next time I sit down with it, I’m going to clear the game.  My total play time is something around 41 hours so far, having put in some legwork to wrap up as many sidequests as possible -- both for the sake of not missing any extra/story content, and in the (likely) event that this is the first and last time I’ll ever do a full run.  I think I’ve made enough of an effort and spent enough time with the remake to be moderately credible when it comes to saying anything of substance about it.  I know the ins and outs.  I know the score.

Given that -- and given my reputation -- what do I think of FF7R?  I think…that I’m not going to say a word until I finish it.

That’s getting harder and harder to do by the day.  I have some things to say about it.  Until then, though?  There are other miscellaneous thoughts I can go over.  Enjoy.  (If you can.)

Teppen! But Also, Housekeeping (and Indignation)

I can’t think of a lot of games that I’ve fallen for so quickly, but wouldn’t you know it?  Teppen is one of them.  And to think it’d not only be the very first mobile game I’ve talked about on this blog, but the very first mobile game I’ve ever owned.  Well, besides some Tetris/Pac-Man hybrid built into this one phone I had a geologic age ago.

So let’s talk about Teppen.  Briefly.  Because God forbid, I get to talk about something I actually like and/or can be positive about.

Final Fantasy VII Remake feat. Tifa (feat. Technical Difficulties)

It was either a post on the Final Fantasy VII Remake -- or the first part of it, at least -- or another one on Smash Ultimate.  Trust me, it was a dead heat right up to the finish line.

Also, I should probably talk briefly about that time my computer temporarily died.  So let’s get stuck in.

Final Fantasy VII: Weapon-Stomping Edition

So I beat Emerald Weapon for the first time in my life (and a good 22 years after other gamers had long since succeeded).  Might as well use this time to talk about Final Fantasy 7 to celebrate.

Not like there’s anything else related to the game going on right now.

Does Square-Enix Hate Women? -- ACT II

I don’t know what’s worse -- the fact that this is the second time I’ve thought to write this post, or the fact that (thanks to Final Fantasy 7, of all things) I feel like I understand the Squeenix collective’s method to their madness.  

Send help regardless.

All right, in order to write this post, I’m going to have to be pretty freakin’ cavalier with spoilers on multiple Final Fantasy games, and several Kingdom Hearts games as well -- including KHIII.  Then again, all of those games but one are at least a few years old by now, sooooooooooooooooooooo…you’ll live.  Probably.  

So I’ve been playing Final Fantasy 7, and…

This is a weird feeling.  

Usually when I bring up Final Fantasy on this blog, it’s to let my scorn and rage flow forth unimpeded.  In the wake of the Switch port of Final Fantasy 7, that’s not the case.  So let me be as upfront as I can right off the bat: yes, this is a good game.  Yes, it still holds up.  And speaking personally, I may like it (or at least respect it) a bit more than when I last played it.

By extension?  I’m glad I’m not on the Squeenix payroll, as a code-spewing grunt, a suited overlord, or anything in between.  If I was, I would be completely, utterly, irrevocably, justifiably, eternally embarrassed.

Kingdom Hearts Voltimania: -A fragmentary passage- (Part 2)

Anybody else getting heart palpitations over the impending, full release of Kingdom Hearts III?  I know I am.

Hard to believe that the day’s almost here -- less than a week, by the time this post goes up.  Anyone who’s excited is justified in the hype.  Anyone who’s disdainful is justified in the skepticism.  I think that, speaking personally, my MO for now is to go in with the mindset that it’s a new day and a new game.  Clean slate.  Breathe deep, play, and enjoy.  Or…try to enjoy.  There are dozens of ways for the game to go wrong, but the only way to know for sure is to face it head-on.  Because if nothing else?  If we’re lucky -- if we’re blessed by the overlords at Squeenix Keep -- this storyline is going to have a definitive end.  The slate’s going to get even cleaner.

We’ll see what the future holds.  But before that, there’s one more thing we -- or I -- have to do.  Let’s talk about Kingdom Hearts 0.2.

…Featuring the only wrestler theme song that can possibly fit the context.  Inasmuch as a wrestler theme song can.

Kingdom Hearts Voltimania: Dream Drop Distance (Part 2)

Before I do anything else, I’m going to say some nice things about the story in Kingdom Hearts: Dream Drop Distance.  Because despite everything else in summation rivaling a Class 5 Shitstorm, there are some nice things I can say.  And I can’t let this post get too negative.

Before that, though, let’s have another wrestler theme.  Who have we got today?  Hmmmmmmmmmmm…

Final Fantasy: All the Bumblers

Hmm.  Let’s see.  I could do another relevant, incisive, and heartfelt post on politics.  Or, alternatively, I could dump all over a franchise that’s way too easy to make fun of, yet draws my eye and ire every time because of a worthless vendetta I have against one of gaming’s most beloved brands.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.  Tough choice.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Oh, wait.  It’s not a tough choice at all.  Gather around, children, for today is a glorious day.  Come, take a seat around the campfire as Grandpappy Voltech blathers on about Final Fantasy.  Again.  Because it’s what you crave, presumably.

Shower Thoughts with Octopath Traveler (Part 1)

It’s been about three months since Octopath Traveler came out, and…I have mixed feelings.

I’m still playing the game, so that’s something.  I’ve logged more than 55 hours, not counting the time lost via total party wipes and the ensuing, dreaded Game Over.  Thus far, I’ve finished the paths of three characters -- Ophilia, H’aanit, and Primrose, in that order -- with Tressa not far behind.  The plan, such as it is, is to ride the game out to its conclusion.  Given that my main team has an average level of 52, I’d wager I can steamroll the chapters/bosses I’ve left undone for ages.  Everyone on Olberic’s path is gonna get bodied once I start it in earnest.

I’m looking forward to playing more Octopath.  But I’m also dreading playing more Octopath.

Like I said, I have mixed feelings.  And part of those mixed feelings include me waiting eagerly for the next Tales game.  (Besides that one.)

Kingdom Hearts III Gameplay Press Event Analysis For Blogging

Welcome back to Cross-Up, your number one stop for Kingdom Hearts posts, lore, content, and of course, those killer strats!  Be sure to give that Follow button a click, and like me on --

Wait, hold on.  *checks how many blogs there are for Kingdom Hearts*

Oh, now this is a fool’s errand.  I’m gonna have to fold on being the number one -- so let’s just focus on that new Kingdom Hearts III gameplay and never speak of my rank.  It’ll make us all happy in the long run.

On Kingdom Hearts and Planning Ahead

For the record: yes, I know that there’s new footage of Kingdom Hearts III, yes, I’ve seen it, and yes, I think it’s good.  I thought about doing a post on it immediately, but there was something else I wanted to toss up first.  Also, I don’t want this to become a Kingdom Hearts blog, even though it’s pretty much going to once I start uploading the content from 2.8.

Then again, I’m putting Kingdom Hearts in the title because I have a hunch nobody will read or care about this unless I do so.  Given that?  Have a taste of the ultimate clickbait.

…Featuring [REDACTED] from the Kingdom Hearts series.

RE: Kingdom Hearts 2.8 Final Chapter Prologue HD

So I finished Kingdom Hearts 2.8, and to say that I have mixed feelings would be an understatement the size of a blue whale on steroids.

The Battle for Everyone’s Sons (I Mean Souls)

*looks at God of War 4*

*looks at Yakuza 6*

*narrows eyes*

Video games?  We need to talk.