Kingdom Hearts III Gameplay Press Event Analysis For Blogging

Welcome back to Cross-Up, your number one stop for Kingdom Hearts posts, lore, content, and of course, those killer strats!  Be sure to give that Follow button a click, and like me on --

Wait, hold on.  *checks how many blogs there are for Kingdom Hearts*

Oh, now this is a fool’s errand.  I’m gonna have to fold on being the number one -- so let’s just focus on that new Kingdom Hearts III gameplay and never speak of my rank.  It’ll make us all happy in the long run.

The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild VS Horizon: Zero Dawn: Hell in a Cell (Part 2)

This post is probably going to oust me as a hypocrite (well, more so than usual).  I can see it now.  I mean, even though The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild isn’t officially being called an open-world game, it shares a good number of traits with the subgenre.  Plus, being called “open-world” carries a lot of baggage with it these days.  Ubisoft and its AAA contemporaries have run what was once a good thing -- if not a symbol of progress for the medium -- into the ground, so I wouldn’t be surprised if the mere concept is enough to make someone’s eyes roll so fast that they could break the sound barrier.

I’m pretty sure I’ve taken shots at open-world games as well, so the fact that I’m excited for Breath of the Wild means that I’m a dirty liar in need of a bath filled with holy water.  More to the point, I’m a hypocrite because this game appeals to me, but I’m about ready to write off the superficially-similar Horizon: Zero Dawn for what may come off as arbitrary reasons.  In my defense, it’s not as if I love one and hate the other; it’s just that I feel like BotW appeals to me more.  And while I’m pretty confident that Horizon will eventually be a solid game, it feels redundant -- and significantly less special -- in the face of BotW.

I guess now I’ll have to explain why.  So let’s go ahead and step back into the ring for another smackdown.

Power Rangers Colon Movie Trailer Analysis for Blogging

All right, look.  Normally I wouldn’t do this sort of thing, because I’m pretty sure I’ve said in the past, in writing (or close enough to it) that I think trailers are bullshit.  They lie, they delude, they misrepresent, and more -- all for the sake of trying to strong-arm viewers into getting hyped.  And while there are some good trailers out there, too many of them nowadays aren’t.  Or maybe they’ll be great, but they’ll be much better than the actual movie/game/whatever coming up.  I’ve always thought it best to judge the actual product based on gathered information and reviews, weighted with personal inference -- and at some point, an actual, direct look at said product.

So I’m not usually one to get sucked into trailer hype.  And I’m also not the type to pour over every second or every frame to find some hidden clue that’ll “change everything”.  Honestly, just making this post feels like a dirty act; it’s like I’ve suddenly thrown away my dignity for a big dumb clickbait article (“This One Weird Trick Will Win Any Power Rangers Fan’s Heart!  Saban Hates It!”).  But as a tokusatsu fan to this day -- and beyond -- and as someone with more than a little interest in storytelling -- no matter the form -- I’m making an exception.  I feel compelled to weigh in, so I will.  Just this once.  Don’t get used to it.

Okay.  So here we go.

E3 2016: Forgive or Forget?

Is this Overwatch?  No?  Then E3 2016 gets a 0 out of 10.  Would not watch again.

All right, seriously, though?  I have to start by being honest: I didn’t really care about E3 this year.  In the weeks and months leading up to it, I was basically ambivalent; I couldn’t summon up the will to care too much about it, knowing that A) all the information I needed would be plastered online in days’ time, and B) getting invested in E3 meant sitting through more press conferences.  More played-out buzzwords.  More non-indicative trailers.  More promises of glory that would fail to deliver.  More chomping at the bit to get past the stuff I don’t care about.  More cringe by the barge-load.  The only positive point, ostensibly, would be the annual showcase of Cuphead footage -- which to be fair almost justifies the whole expo.

So as much as it strains my credibility, I have to admit that I’m writing this E3 post while skipping out on a majority of the conferences.  Maybe I’ll go back and watch stuff eventually; I’ve seen a supercut already, but there’s more to digest.  And I will, especially if the Super Best Friends put up their reactions (and I’d assume that’s available via some Twitch stream archives).  But for now?  I want to do something different besides run down the major conferences and companies.  I want to take time out to talk about E3 -- and in particular, a topic that’s been occupying my brain space for the past month:

Is E3 basically The Apology Expo?

Kingdom Hearts 2.8 Final Chapter Prologue Colon Trailer Analysis for Blogging

The back half of this post’s title is mine, albeit one that’s a spin on the Aqua Teen Hunger Force movie.  The front half is actually the name of an upcoming game…and it makes my soul hurt.

Admittedly -- and I know this isn’t fair, but work with me here -- the mere existence of this game makes my soul hurt.  Oh, look, it’s an HD uptick for Dream Drop Distance.  I’ll say upfront that I haven’t played that one or watched a full LP, mostly because of a sore lack of interest.  But maybe once this new edition comes out, I’ll give it a try.  The problem is that if I do, it’d mean getting into the rest of what the package offers.  That is to say, it means more nonsense strapped onto a franchise long since brought to its knees by nonsense, drivel, and Tetsuya Nomura’s machinations.

It’s like…I remember Kingdom Hearts 1, and I enjoyed it when I first played it (long after its release, but whatever).  It made me a fan of the franchise.  And when I replayed the game a few years ago, I realized that not only does it hold up, but it’s also probably one of the strongest entries in the whole thing -- or at least my favorite of the bunch.  Just like the infamous theme song says, it was simple and clean.  Well, relatively speaking, but it still told a mostly-concise, mostly-direct story worthy of both the Disney and Final Fantasy names.

But that was a long time ago.  And what do we have now?  Kingdom Hearts 2.8 Final Chapter Prologue.  So let’s talk about the trailer before I just go “fuck everything”, wither into a husk, and drift away on the wind.