The back half of this post’s title is mine, albeit
one that’s a spin on the Aqua Teen Hunger
Force movie. The front half is
actually the name of an upcoming game…and it makes my soul hurt.
Admittedly -- and I know this isn’t fair, but work
with me here -- the mere existence of this game makes my soul hurt. Oh, look, it’s an HD uptick for Dream Drop Distance. I’ll say upfront that I haven’t played that
one or watched a full LP, mostly because of a sore lack of interest. But maybe once this new edition comes out,
I’ll give it a try. The problem is that
if I do, it’d mean getting into the rest of what the package offers. That is to say, it means more nonsense
strapped onto a franchise long since brought to its knees by nonsense, drivel,
and Tetsuya Nomura’s machinations.
It’s like…I remember Kingdom Hearts 1, and I enjoyed it when I first played it (long
after its release, but whatever). It
made me a fan of the franchise. And when
I replayed the game a few years ago, I realized that not only does it hold up,
but it’s also probably one of the strongest entries in the whole thing -- or at
least my favorite of the bunch. Just like the infamous theme
song says, it was simple and clean.
Well, relatively speaking, but it still told a mostly-concise,
mostly-direct story worthy of both the Disney and Final Fantasy names.
But that was a long time ago. And what do we have now? Kingdom
Hearts 2.8 Final Chapter Prologue.
So let’s talk about the trailer before I just go “fuck everything”, wither into a husk, and
drift away on the wind.